This OC is by ziagrafalls I hope you like it.
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Hello! I would like to send in a Naruto OC for you to review. With this OC I really wanted to challenge the norm for most Naruto OCs in fanfictions, that norm being the idea the character is a tomboy who is really pretty and is super strong. I think that character is kind of a mary sue.

You want to challenge it by making a similar character or making a totally different character? Well either way let's see what you got.

Genre: Fanfiction, Fanart

Nice

Name: Zakiko Harustume

Cute name

Age(s):
14 - 15 in Naruto,
17 - 19 in Naruto Shippuden,
34 in Boruto (Zakiko is 2 years older than Naruto)

Oh ok and thanks I was about to say 2 years, thanks for doing it for me.

Gender: Female

Nice

Family:
Pt 1 and 2: Zoriko Harustume (mother), Igiyo Harustume (father)
Pt 3: Zoriko Harustume (mother), Igiyo Harustume (father), Ume Nara (daughter), Shikamaru Nara (husband) Zakiko and Shikamaru, at first, didn't like each other at all. Shikamaru thought Zakiko was too girly and too whiny, and Zakiko thought Shikamaru was a stick in the mud. However, one day Shikamaru and Zakiko were assigned on a mission together. On that mission, Shikamaru learns Zakiko wears all of the makeup and girly clothing, because she was so insecure, and Zakiko learns that Shikamaru was so serious on missions so he would never hurt his comrades due to poor leadership again. Through this, they both begin to tolerate each other more and more until they become friends, then lovers, then husband and wife.

Wait from that little understanding they become lovers. I think you should definitely add more to their story because you know how many times that happen. It happens every day and no body gets married from it. It's just the old concept of don't judge a book by it's cover. I would highly recommend adding more.

Appearance: Naturally pink, curly hair. Tall, skinny, no curves, flatchested. She likes to wear fishnet leggings down to mid calf, with white shorts over them that stop a little bit above the knee. She wears a regular, plain white shirt with a fishnet shirt that went to her wrists. Her eyes are a dark pink, and her skin in a dark chocolate color. She has a gap between her teeth, and she likes to wear makeup.

This is a very interesting look, I never seen a OC with this before I applaud you on a all new take on making a OC, she's dark, she's flat chested, she has a gap, I barely see any of these applied to OCs, I most I see out of these three is dark skin but most people for some reason make their OCs a sick pale color or have giant bust and perfect teeth for sure I have reviewed more than 20 OCs with all three of these features so thank you so much for challenging it with a OC like this I see Dark skinned OCs but not a lot.

Personality: Whiny, Smart, Insecure, Trustworthy, Loyal, Loud, Attention Starved (basically she really wants to be noticed by the opposite gender, until she meets shikamaru)

This also is great, again you made her different from others by making her whiny. You really are challenging OCs out there.

Type of Ninja: Longrange, Genjutsu Nin,

Nice

Weapon of Choice: Senbon

Cool

Backstory in next part:

Backstory: Zakiko grew up in the Leaf Village the daughter of a fisherman and a midwife. When she was young, she learned the lesson of not to play with Naruto Uzumaki, and went to the academy. Though one day she broke that rule and got in trouble with a lot of adults, so she never talked to any of her lowerclassmen again. During her Academy years, she was different from every other girl. She was always taller than them, and when they all were starting to hit puberty, she never developed more than a bit more height and her monthly terror. Because of this a lot of boys and girls teased her about still being a baby with a lot of height. So, she changed herself into a girly girl, and everyone stopped bullying her for not being as developed, and being that way also made her happy. Yet deep down inside she still felt insecure. A few years after she graduated (after the Sasuke retrieval mission), she met Shikamaru Naara while on a group mission he was leading, and immediately disliked how much of a stick in the mud he was, even after the mission was complete. A little while later, Shikamaru and Zakiko are sent on an infiltration mission to get information about the Akatsuki to be used against them during the war. During this mission, they begin to understand each other more, and eventually become friends. After that, they hang out more and more and realize they love each other, and get married. Then they try to have their first child, but it dies in the womb. After that, they try again and have their first child, a baby girl, Ume Nara. Happily Ever After, I guess.

This is really good but as said before adding some more events with Shikamaru is a must. Remember you a breaking up a canon couple with a kid a main character kid at that so you really need to make the story of how she got with Shikamaru as detailed and convincing as possible. I would add about 4 more events to get her with Shikamaru or people will hate on her for breaking up him and Temari and the last thing I want is for you to get hate. However, their first baby being a miscarriage is interesting and something I have yet seen when reviewing OCs so great job.
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Final Analysis- This OC has a minimum to work on but than she is perfect. This OC really challenged other OCs out there and I encourage other OCs to be more like her, stop making all of your OCs pale and give them different skin colors, stop making them all busty and make some flat chested, this OC is a prime example of a non-generic OC. She really challenged it all from her personality to her looks. The only thing I would say is give her more events that lead to her and Shikamaru getting together give mo or reasons for her and Shikamaru to end up together because right now, it's not hood enough. You really have to sell it because not only is it a canon character but it is also a canon character with a wife and kid so you need to justify why you broke up and him temari. Other than that b.c. this OC is perfect and ready for anything. Again this OC is one of the best and is definitely in my top 5 OCs if not top 3 because of how different she is. Thank you so much for letting me review your OC, it was a complete honor.
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