OC 96 (Hiro Yoshiki)

This OC is by C4FURYousBBB I hope you like it.
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(P.s. Japanese names are backward so the first name is the last one.)


I know that already, if someone doesn't than they don't know the culture of other places besides the place where they live.


This is a Naruto OC.


If it wasn't than it wouldn't be in the Naruto OC review section.


Name: Hiro, Yoshiki


Nice name


Birth: Oct. 31 (Scorpio)


Nice


Age:14


Cool


Gender: Male


Nice


Family: (blood family is unknown) Yuki, Haku (younger brother) and Momochi, Zabuza (big brother)


So Zabuza and Haku are his adopted family? Ok


Height: 5.38 ft
Weight: 176 lbs


Nice height to weight ratio


Appearance: Short and spiky black hair that barely reaches past his ears. With his black bangs, he has a streak of blue in a strand. His skin color is pale and his body is slender yet fit. His eyes are of different colors. The right eye is ruby red and his left eye is purple. He cannot see he is blind. His face has 5 scars. 1 scar is on both his cheeks, another scar is on his nose and chin and his biggest and largest scar is on his forehead. The scar on his forehead is covered by his bangs as well as for most of the scar on his nose. And he paints all the visible scars on his face with black paint.


Very interesting, he has a very different look than other OCs and the fact that he's blind also makes me different.


Way of Battle: Quick and swift (if possible) In ninjutsu he knows a fair amount of wind and fire techniques, he is a genjutsu genius and he is a formidable taijutsu fighter. Uses senbon as the main projectile.


Nice but if he's blind how does he fight? In avatar the last airbender Toph had to have her feet on the ground to hear the vibrations, so is he fighting?


Hiro means abundant and Yoshiki means honor, glory


Nice


Personality: Calm and confident in his abilities and works independently if possible. He is very self aware of himself acknowledging his weakness or wrongs if someone catches them. He can be competitive with strong friends or allies and loves a good challenge. He is very loyahumor brutally honest with his opinion, he has blunt humor and is a man of his word. He is silent and mostly listens but when he speaks he is sarcastic and stubborn. (mostly in arguments) He's a crafty strategist when it comes to games, a (resourceful) know it all with books and information and he is a persuasive manipulator/trickster. He's very innocent went it comes to certain aspects of Human life however he isn't naive and is very alert of what happens and goes around. He's secretive and mysterious to most and nearly unpredictable in many things he does, however, he never does anything without a reason making him logical to many (most) situations. He's just as logical as he is a childish control freak if things don't give him the end result. He loves good music, interesting games, great food, and books. He is a sweet lover.


He's giving off a cliche vibe, like the cool anime guy that's edgy and mean when he wants to be and no one beats a eyelash.


Hobbies: He bakes desserts and pastries for himself to eat. He loves to play different instruments and sometimes sings He loves to make origami and play with them He listens to animals and travels out in nature He also likes to make things go boom or set things on fire. Reads books of all genres and admires different styles of art.


Wait a second how is he doing all of this if he is blind, some stuff yeah but baking, and origami you need to see in order to do those unless you have help.


Past: For the first 5 years of his life he was watched and cared for by a demon named Don'Yoku who taught him multiple skills to survive. After reaching age 5 he convinces his guardian to allow him to travel and see the world around him. The guardian, however, said that he should take a gift from him. He travels through the lands for 3 solid years learning and developing his power(s) until stumbling across a younger and orphaned Haku. Yoshiki feels the emotion he learned was guilt and sadness. He ends up liking Haku and stays with him. Then Zabuza picks both them up Haku because he offered to be a tool and Yoshiki because of his strength and interest. For 6 years both males train under Zabuza and learn many things from him. During those years Haku teaches and lectures Yoshiki about Human emotions even though Zabuza said they were a nonessential. During the 6th year, Yoshiki meets Team 7 during an assassination mission and there is where it stops. For your information demons can use Chakra but prefer their method of energy or magic.


Ok so where does he go blind. It says in the appearance that he cannot see, he's blind so when did he go blind? It doesn't even say if it was one eye but sense you just said he's blind I'm going with completely. So explain please, I can't say the past is good sense it would most likely be different if he was blind.


Other Hobbies: He likes to do string crafts and for fun finger paints


Ok


Habits: He prefers to crouch or slump when he is sitting or observing at home or on a mission. He likes to whistle a certain tune for a certain emotion He also goes people he doesn't know all too well multiple aliases to confuse them. He loves to travel on his hands to exercise his arms and to show off his 6 pack, biceps and triceps. He primarily takes off his shirt to show off to both men and women not ruin it his body.


How is he observing anything if he's blind, that's the main component in this entire thing. Not to mention he is starting to turn cliche. A anime cool guy with a rock hard 6 pack that is mysterious and basically the batman.


Yoshiki is barefoot and wears for missions during his time with zabuza an outfit somewhat identical to Haku’s except the colors are darker.


Ok
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Final Analysis- This OC has some work that needs to be done, his personality can be improved but by all means it doesn't need to be changed drastically. The main issue is the fact that he's blind yet he's functioning like he isn't at all. It doesn't say how he's seeing and being a ninja or just talks about him like he doesn't have this disability. If you want him to not be blind than please change but other than that, if he wasn't blind and this was the regular format than he would be fine but have to work a little on the personality. But sense he's blind and that's the biggest factor in this review, he isn't looking so good. Thank you so much for letting me review your OC, it was a honor.
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