This is by iCoven I hope you like it.
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Genre: Fanfiction

Cool, I can't wait to read it.

Name: Tōtoi Yanai (or “Lady Tōtoi” by everyone besides her parents and siblings)

Oh cool

Gender: Female

That's nice

Age: Part 1: 12-13

Part 2: 16-17

The last: 19

Gaiden: 32+

This is for all the ages. Nice, it's good to see another Naruto OC with the Naruto crew's age. It fits them better in the story.

Family: Kameko Yanai (Mother), Toshihiro Yanai (Father), Koji Yanai (oldest brother), Kenji Yanai (older brother), Miyu Yanai (younger sister), Takara Tanai (second cousin)

Oh a big family. I also like how you added the cousins because than we know the cousin is going to be contributing to the story.

Highest Rank: ANBU (Though she doesn’t fully join until she’s 19)

Oh ok

Exams Taken: Gennin, Chunnin, Jonnin, ANBU

Oh, so she took them all. Good job.

Exams Failed: Chuunin (twice, written exam)

And she failed some. That's makes her more realistic.

Birth Village: Village Hidden by Rocks

Current Village: Village Hidden by Rocks

Oh so this OC stays in the same village its born in. Great job.

Appearance:

Height: 5’1

Weight: 102 lbs

Great ratio on the height and weight.

Skin tone: A bit lighter than Darui.

Great to see some diversity. I will always encourage diversity in OCs.

Eyecolor: Brown

A common but beautiful color.

Hair: Tōtoi has short dark brown/black-ish hair that reaches her mid-neck area with bangs hanging in front of her forehead, almost completely covering her left eye. Since she was a little girl she’d always keep her hair cut due to her dislike of long hair. At a younger age her hair did completely covered her left eye.

Oh, it's good to see a OC that dislikes long hair too. She is different already and it's good. Her hair style is also different and unique.

Headband Location: Forehead

Cool

Clothes:

When not deployed on a mission or training, Tōtoi wears a white floral kimono blouse(with her clan’s symbol on the back), a mid-thigh black skirt, and black knee high stockings with black ninja sandals. While training, she normally wears a comfortable pair of pants and shirt with her clan’s symbol. On missions, she wears black shorts, sleeveless purple jacket with mesh shirt armor underneath, bandages on her left leg and black ninja boots. With every outfit, she also wears her purple scarf that was gifted to her after her return. Strange enough, she’s grown an emotional attachment to it.

Her outfits are well thought out and not difficult to imagine, I also like how the purple scarf is her emotional attachment and she wears it with each outfit. It shows its sentimental value.

Clan Info:

Clan Name: Yanai, also known as “The Clan of Assassins” Symbol: Bow & Arrow

Cool.

History: The Yanai Clan was founded sometime during the Warring States Period. It is a popular clan amongst the Five Great Nations due to their advanced skills in Kyūjutsu, or Bow Techniques. During the war, they were known as a Bounty-Hunting Clan, and even “The Clan of Assassins”. After the Warring States Period, the First Tskuchikage offered them a home in his village in exchange for their loyalty towards him and his village, and military support. The founder of the clan agreed, and since then they’ve worked under the Tsuchikage’s wing. The Yanai Clan makes up a great population of the Iwagakure ANBU. At the young age of 6 years old, that’s when the children begin their training for archery. The reason they start so young is because it is believed that the younger they start, the better–and it’s a great way for them to detach from their mothers at a young age. 

This was beautiful and goes straight into amazing detail. It all makes sense and has its originality to it. The way they are archers starting from 6 and with the pure reason of getting better from a young age is great. I also like the reason of how they got in the village in exchange for their dedication and hard work along with their military and anbu. Good job.

Specialty: Advanced Kyūjutsu (Bow Technique), 

Nice

Kekkei Genkai: none.

Oh ok,

Other: The Yanai Clan all have exceptional far-sighted vision, which is a huge benefit to them wielding a bow and arrow, or even a kunai, senbon, etc. This clan also has enhanced/advanced hearing, which is also beneficial to their Bow wielding skills. They’re also known for never missing a target, being “stuck-up”, and being overall apathetic people, but despite, they still hold a very high social status amongst the five great nations. Every clan member wears a pair of glasses to try and help their farsightedness for simple everyday task, though they don’t help as much. They are very clumsy, often knocking over small tables, glass cups and such.

It's great seeing how their far sight is also a disadvantage and affects them in everyday life. This means they are held up by both a positive trait and negative trait.

Clan Appearance -

Skin Tone: usually tan-ish and darker tones due to them spending majority of their time outdoors.

Oh ok,

-Hair color(s): Yanai clan members usually have black, Brown, or in rare cases blonde hair.

I like how it is rare to have blonde hair in the clan. It shows the rarity in it.

-Eye color(s): Brown, Green

Cool

Personality:

Prologue: Tōtoi is a sweet and kind girl who loves everyone and everything. She was very appreciative and friendly, loving, playful, outgoing and more. She made friends fairly easy around the village, and not because she is an heiress to the most respected clan in the village but because of her genuine love and care for everyone. When it was her age of departure for training, everyone was sad of her having to go.

She sounds very sweet. I am glad you didn't add anything from another category in personality to her like sarcasm or hot headed cause that causes a imbalance in the OC.

Part 1: After returning home after 3 years, Tōtoi is a completely different person. Because of her high status in both her clan and the village, Tōtoi is a very cocky megalomaniac. She is rude, manipulative, and really headstrong when she can be. Tōtoi doesn’t really care for anyone below her rank. She relatively doesn’t speak much, but when she does, it’s nothing nice. She doesn’t openly express her emotions, has a natural bored expression, and speaks in a monotone voice. She has dark humor and makes “inappropriate jokes” which makes people rather uncomfortable around her. Like everyone else in her clan, she is highly intelligent, so additionally she is always confident in her logic and always thinks what she says is right because she knows she is smart. She is also is not open to suggestions, much to her teammates annoyance.

A big change in attitude which is realistic because that's what high class or extreme popularity could do to a person. The way she changed for the worse from the sweet person everyone knew makes her different. Now instead of love and happiness it's annoyance and depression. Good job showing what some people could do to change a person from sweet to evil.

As the story continues, Tōtoi will meet someone that gives her a change of heart. This person is her first cousin, Takara Yanai. After banning Takara from becoming a kunoichi due to her blindness and supposed incompetence, she was challenged to a spar and much to her surprise, lost. After many, many disagreements Takara agreed to train her. Tōtoi learns to be more humble, accepting, and kind. She becomes more open, emotional, friendly, & loving. Almost completely like her kid self. She also begins to smile.

This is great. The way that Takara was blind and still could fight Totoi is good. Also the way she changed her heart because Takara was at a disadvantage. Like I said before, Takara was going to be a major and important character because she was named. Good job.

Extra: headstrong, selfish, rude, mean, sarcastic, unapproachable, manipulative (before her personality change)

Good, this is before she fought Takara.

Chakra Nature(s): Earth Release, Water Release

Nice, it's good to see that there is two releases instead of all of them.

Fighting Style: Offensive (but learns defensive too)

Oh ok

Chakra Control: Above Average

From such a high clan I wouldn't expect less.

Weapons: Senbon needles, paper bombs, kunai, wire string, smoke bomb, bow & arrow, shiruken

Great, they are all long ranged weapons too.

Battle Style: As she was taught the traditional techniques of her clan, the Yanai typically hide within the shadows and wait for the perfect moment to strike their enemies. They take off their glasses and use their extreme farsightedness to give their arrows a more accurate hit, and are known for never missing a target. When needed, they also transfer their chakra to their arrow to increase its speed and durability. Hand-to-hand combat is avoid due to it being their weakness since it is hard to see at close range. In Tōtoi’s case though, she will eventually train with her blind cousin and learn how to use her senses and “become one with the earth” to fight in a close ranged battle.

Nice, it's good to see her fighting close and long range when she learns with her cousin and the clan. It makes her strong and gives her character in battle. I also like how because they are far sighted that close combat is their weakness.

Past:

Tōtoi was born the youngest (before the birth of her little sister, of course) of Toshihiro and Kameko Yanai. Because she is the daughter of the clan’s leader, she is treated with respect by everyone in her clan and outside of it, too. When she was old enough, she went around the village to play with the other children everyday. She lived a normal childhood up until she turned 6 years old and had to leave for training.

Quick and straight to the point. Good job. I like how she is treated in a similar way to Konohamaru in the sense that she the daughter of the clan's leader.

Relationships:
Tōtoi has a great relationship with her family, even her sometimes-hard-to-reach father. Despite her 3 year absence, they still managed to maintain a strong bond. She spends a lot of time with her siblings, especially her little sister (who she hadn’t met until she returned after 3 years of training). She and her brother argue very often over Tōtoi’s stubbornness, but overall they love each other dearly. She has a best friend named Maiko Sumisu, who she met before her departure. She didn’t remember her at first, but they managed to build an okay friendship. Tōtoi doesn’t really like her though because she’s annoying and of low rank, but keeps her around because she’s useful in a battle. Her relationship with Takara Yanai is strained in the beginning, but eventually they grow an unbreakable bond.

I like how the relationships are like a before and after her training with her clan. It brings in what she was like as a child and than when she got older.

Other information: 

Clan: Yanai Clan

Great

Jutsu: haven’t thought of any yet. (Sorry)

That's fine. No need to rush

Extra Abilities: chakra sensory, enhanced senses, slight medical ninjutsu

Ok great.

in the “other” category that Tōtoi later becomes the three tails jinchuuriki (age 10). reason is, they want to draw out the Akatsuki so they will be able to eliminate Deidara. Tōtoi is one of the few members of the clan to actually have water release, so additionally, she’s one of the few that’s actually compatible with it. She wasn’t the initial decision, but no one else in the clan would follow the order of becoming one or allow their children to become one. She was more like a last resort. And also that icy blue eyes are common in the clan, and Tōtoi’s eyes are icey blue and not brown.

Sense she has water release I suppose it can kinda work but there many questions. Where was Yugura when they sealed it? In the Naruto world he is the current holder after Rin. Other than that it should be fine.
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Final Analysis- This is a very good OC. She is unique and her changes from 6 to 3 years later is great. The fact that her clan of high status changed her from her sweet side is more than just realistic because it happens everyday in our world. She doesn't have anything to work on and I believe is ready to be in her own fanfic. It was a honor reviewing her. Thank you for choosing me.
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