The first OC we have today is by another Wattpad writer by the name of dancergirl222. I recommend you follow and check out her stories. Anyway I would like to thank her again and this is her OC enjoy.
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Genre: I just had the idea floating around in my head and I wanted to see if someone thought it was good.

I am grateful that you picked me to see how your OC is. I'm sure it will be good but let's read and find out.

Name: Kirei Hoshimi

This is a very interesting and creative name. When looked up it doesn't mean anything then what it says. This makes it unique because there is no body who can copy your name. This is good.

Age: 23 (Naruto) 26 (Shippuden)

This is different. Many OCs are usually the age of the Naruto group. This is great because it has potential to be different then the usual young Characters.

Gender: Female

Family: Akira Hoshimi (father), Akane Hoshimi (mother) Hikaru Hoshimi (older brother)

I like how you put the relationship between them. It is easier to follow when you know who is the dad, the mom, and the brother.

Appearance: part 1: 5'2, dark brown hair that falls about midback but she keeps it in a bun or a braid, wears the ANBU uniform with a fox mask, amber eyes.

This is good. Since people who watched Naruto know what the Anbu unit wear it makes it easier to imagine how the Character looks. It is also good that you were specific with how your OC's hair is when she is in her Anbu gear. It shows more profession and how serious she takes being a Anbu because she keeps her hair out of the way.

Part 2: hair is shorter, it's a little below her shoulders and keeps it in a low ponytail, wears a royal blue sleeveless hoodie with a black undershirt with black cargo shorts and her leaf headband is worn on her forehead. olive skin tone

The outfit isn't bad but there isn't really any Naruto Characters that wears a hoodie like in modern day. The Cargo pants I can see as somewhat baggy ninja pants. The only person that wears something close to a hoodie would be Part 1 Naruto and Sasuke. Maybe instead of a hoodie perhaps a jacket that was homemade maybe by the mom that was sleeveless. The hoodie could be made that way too. For the unusual clothes in the Naruto world that would be the best way for them to appear.

Personality:pretty guarded but polite, sweet and kind, willing to help anyone, dorky, nerdy, intelligent, lacks self confidence, sarcastic, witty, really hard on herself and, competitive

This is good but some of these qualities counteract with each other. For instance sarcastic with sweet and kind. Being Sarcastic is looked onto more as a mean trait while sweet and kind are obviously nice. Because of this these counteract. Another one is competitive and lacks self confidence. These counteract because if you lack self confidence you wouldn't compete or really think of it. However it would be good if you had lack of self confidence that after the timeskip turns into a competitive nature. But other than that it wouldn't be compatible.

Battle: she uses ninjutsu but prefers to use taijutsu, uses kunai, shuriken, bow and arrows

There is only one thing and it's the bow and arrow. This is very unique and I haven't seen or possibly can't remember any Characters with this weapon so it really stands out. Which is completely fine. Also when do she use her bow and arrow, when do she use taijutsu. What do she use more? This is something to consider. Do she use Taijutsu more or do she use the bow and arrow more?

Past: Kirei and her family originally lived in Hoshigakure. Her parents and older brother had the star training and were weakened because of it. Kirei's parents were quite worried so they decided to run away to Konoha so she and her brother could learn another way to become ninjas. Her brother was 12 when they left and she was 8. She joins Team 5 with her sensei Akemi Amane. She eventually becomes an ANBU spy and that's all she ever dreamed of.

The past is good I like it but it leaves a lot of questions unanswered. One question is why did she want to become a Anbu spy? Why was this her dream? Another one is what is the star training? This leaves me confused because I don't know what the star training is and either do others. You would need to explain what the star training is and why they abandoned it in the first place. Another question is why Konoha? There are so many different places in the Naruto world but why Konoha? I have no problem with it but it is used a lot and I can see why. Like I said it is fine. Also why would Hoshigakure let this family leave? Did they not make them go through a process? Did they list them as missing ninjas because they left on their own free will? What does Hoshigakure think of this family and what did they do when they left? These are questions that need to be answered. The past is great but it leaves a lot of open questions unanswered.

Relationship: Kakashi. She and Kakashi met in the Academy where she disliked him immediately. She thought he was rather arrogant and was bothered by his lack of emotional reactions and by the fact that he was better than her. She decides to swallow her pride and ask Kakashi to give her some pointers but he outright rejects her, so she gets very angry and starts sparring with Hikaru who would constantly defeat her. One day in the Academy, while Kirei was sparring with someone, and watching how she battled, Kakashi decided that he would help her. So, after the Academy training, she and Kakashi would spar

I like where it is going but here is the thing. If she don't like Kakashi why did she him for help? Why didn't she ask other people like Gai or Obito. Cause I don't know about others but I and most people wouldn't ask someone we don't like for help. That is a problem. The reason for not liking Kakashi is good and thought out, but why did Kakashi decide to spar with her and train her in the end? Did he feel pity? He rejected the offer once so why didn't he reject it again? You should put why he accepted to spar and train with her after he already rejected her. Maybe something like, since she been sparring with her brother he sees her improving. In Hope of having a decent opponent he wants to train her. That would be good. But there should be a explaination.

Continuation of relationship: She and Kakashi would start spending a little more time with her before they were put on separate teams and then after the deaths of Kakashi's teammates, he distanced himself from her which got her angry and made her hate him for a while. After some grueling training and entering the ANBU, they never saw each other because whenever he was in she was out on a mission and vice versa. Finally after Kakashi left the ANBU, they met again and sort of got along after Kakashi explained himself to her. He then convinced her to leave the ANBU.

There is one thing. If she knew about the death of Kakashi's teammates why did she hate him? Also the hate doesn't come together with the whole sweet and nice person thing that she is said to be. The hate makes her more of a mean person because if she was nice and sweet the way her personality says, she would have comforted Kakashi instead of hating him. Maybe have gave him time to collect himself but not hate him. Also if her goal and dream was to be a Anbu spy, why did she give it up because of what Kakshi said? What did Kakashi say to make her not want to be a Anbu spy anymore? To make her give up her dream. These are more questions that need to be answered.

Other: Kirei and her family are from Hoshigakure. Her chakra nature is fire.

This is nice. She only has one chakra nature though she could have more. This makes it unique.

Jutsu: Kujaku ( all she can form is wings but it usually makes her pass out or feel very weak), fireball jutsu,blazing shuriken, blazing shield, falling star jutsu(takes a lot of concentration. Basically the user creates white flame balls that resemble stars and kind of act like a meteor shower and fall on the opponent.), flaming sword jutsu, blazing red cannon

I like how you added regular known jutsus to the list as well. This is great because it shows she got her own moves and she got the well known basic moves. I also like how the powerful jutsus have a weakness. This makes her normal and not over powered. This is great.

- Falling star jutsu is just in Kirei's family and both she and Hikaru were taught it by their grandfather because their parents weren't ninja

Ok, but what is the falling star jutsu. What does it do? Also in your OCs past it says that both the parents and her brother got the star training. The question is why did her parents get the star training if they weren't ninjas? Also is the star training for everyone? Can everyone learn it or take it? What is the star training and what makes it so special?
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Alright so that was the review. Now for the final words.

Final Words- Your OC is really good. She is not a Mary Sue. Which is a great start. However, there are many questions left wide open that need answers. These include the Star training, Why the family left to Konoha, and others. I recommend going back to the questions and answering them. There should be a section that feature only the Star training. It's a great idea and very unique but I would like to know what it exactly is. What does it do? How it's done? What it helps? What's it goal? Who made it? How did said person come up with it? Can everyone learn and do it? What is the results at the end? And what jutsus do you learn from it? These are questions that could sum up everything about the Star training. The other thing is her personality. It doesn't really show she has a lack of self confidence or that she is sweet and nice. It shows her as the complete opposite. When you write the past and events for your character you should always have their personality in mind. You could even act out how they would act in a situation. That would help you understand your character more. Those are the major things. But overall this OC is really good and I would read about her if she was in a fanfiction. Keep up the good work and use this to improve your OC.
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Thank you again dreamgirl222 for being the first to have your OC reviewed. I hope you liked it and to my other readers I am excited for the next OCs I get. Even if it is a Mary Sue. Heaven knows what I will do if it is a Mary Sue. Anyway thanks for reading the first OC review.