This OC is by Enjel_Hayashi I hope you like it.
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series- naruto

Of course, if this was a different anime than I would have been in the wrong.

name- melanie quinn/yuki saito

Two names? I wonder what's going on to have that.

•melanie meaning black or dark

Cool

•yuki meaning happiness the names represent how yuki went from her painful and dark life as melanie, to slowly and gradually getting happier, as she left melanie behind and became yuki.

Ok, but how did she acquire these names? Obviously you only have one birth name so which is her actual name and how did she get the other name? Or better yet who gave it to her?

age-
part one: 12-13
part two: 15-17
the last: 18-20
boruto: 30-34

Nice, so she is the same age as the naruto crew. Cool

gender- female

Nice

family- yui saito (mother-deceased) asahi saito (father-deceased) sayaka saito (sister-unknown) violet quinn (adoptive mother-deceased) will quinn (adoptive father-deceased) i'll explain why they're (almost) all dead later.

Ok, and this also kinda explains why she got two names. The only thing left to determine would be the age when it all happened which would be in the history.

Looks-
part one: short boyish light brown hair, a boy-like face, darkish brown eyes, and peach colored skin. she wears a grey crop-top t-shirt with bandages wrapped around her stomach to hide her scars, short blue shorts, and black ninja sandals. she is very skinny, due to her bad eating habits, (as in, she doesn't really eat) and she is usually mistaken for a boy. she wears her headband around her forehead, letting her bangs cover it slightly.

Nice, and I can imagine how she looks. She also has a unique look to her, actually looking like a boy from head to toe, even the face, making it so she is really thought to be a boy. Is cool and different.

part two: her hair is longer, about shoulder length, still the same brown. she looks a little more mature, but still boyish, although you can see her girl features more now. she now wears a mesh crop-top shirt, not bothering to hide her scars as she has gotten more confident, and has grown out of her past, and over the shirt she wears her chunin vest, because she became a chunin. she still wears blue short shorts and black ninja sandals like she did in part one, and the headband is still on her forehead. she is much less skinny now, and looks a much more healthy size. she eats normally now, as she managed, with lots of hard work and struggling and throwing up, to get out of her bad, and dangerous, eating habits. isn't mistaken for a boy anymore, and is happy that she can finally be herself.

Nice and it looks like she went through a healthy transformation. This is great and the fact she still looks slightly the same and shows healthy signs shows her growth. She has grown greatly.

personality- yuki acts happy and cheery on the outside, but it's just an act to cover up her real feelings of pain and guilt. (will be explained later) when she's talking with her team, she likes to joke around and compete with them, to distract herself from the pain. she believes that if she acts happy, and tells herself that she's happy, and perfectly okay, she'll start to feel happy too. she can be a little bit shy at times, but she usually isn't. she has random mood swings occasionally, and even she doesn't know why they happen, they just do.

This is really good and is very new. Instead of being sad than becoming happy after a day she actually acts happy to hide the pain. This also puts things in a real life scenario because people actually do this. This makes her realistic.

background: (oh boy here comes the clicheness...) when she was young, too young to remember, her clan was attacked (not by orochimaru, don't worry) by greedy ninjas who wanted to get their hands on the clan's kekkai genkai. (will be explained in the kekkai genkai section) the clan's head, yuki's mother, managed to use her chakra to send yuki somewhere else, before the ninja's could get to her. as a child of the head of the clan, yuki was very promising, and would've probably grown up to be very powerful, so her mother chose to send her away to save many lives. after yuki was sent away, the ninjas imprisoned the most powerful of the clan, including her sister and her mother, and killing the rest. (will explain why not the father in the kekkai genkai section) the place where yuki's mom sent her was earth.

Was earth? In the Naruto world they are on earth so what does that mean? Is she a alien from a different planet? Because the whole sent her to earth thing sounds like a Goku and superman scenario, does this take place in another universe or reality like Rick and morty or something?

yuki was raised on earth by her adoptive parents, who she believed to be her real parents, violet and will quinn. her adoptive parents were very caring to her until one day, when she was two years old, her parents started fighting. after that, the fought a lot, and one day, her father started blaming yuki, and saying that she was the reason that they fought. her mother soon started doing the same, and when they wanted to let their anger and frustration out, they would beat her. once, when her mother was extra angry at her father, she took yuki to the bathroom and cut her long hair, making it short like a boy's.

This is all good and yeah a little bit cliche but it's still good nevertheless. However, I am still baffled by the earth thing. I'm sure I'll find out soon but right now it confuses me.

after years of torture from her parents, yuki had had enough. when her dad came home one night, he walked up to her in the kitchen, and she turned around, a knife in her hand and stabbed him. she ended up killing him, and when she realized what she had done, she was horrified. she knew what would happen if her mom found out, so she brought him into their basement, and waited for her mother to come back home. when she did, yuki did the same thing to her, and put her in the basement as well. after that, she managed to live by herself in the house, as no one ever came over, and she never went out. she kept herself company and drowned out the guilt of killing her parents by watching naruto. aure her parents were horrible people, but they were still human, so she felt bad. then, one day, she was somehow transported back into her original world, the world of naruto. and that's basically how the story starts. i know...it's super cliche and cringey;; i'm sorryyy

No it's no clicheish but a bit confusing. When you stay went to earth do you mean that they are aware that they live in a anime and so to protect her some how sent her out of the anime? And than she lived in the real world for a couple of years and than out of no where by a unknown force she was transported back to Naruto? One thing I have to say. It is very unique but the wording was kind of confusing. Saying she went to earth means she's not human because she would be a alien. I would recommend saying something like teleported between the real world and the Naruto world. Other than that this is pretty good.

kekkai genkai- the kekkai genkai of the saito clan only runs through the females of the clan. (that's why her father was killed instead of taken with her mom and sister) the kekkai genkai is called the chakra manipulation jutsu. this jutsu allows it's user to manipulate their chakra so it feels less powerful or more powerful, depending on what the user wants. it can also make the user's chakra feel like someone else's chakra, to trick people. this jutsu has a second level, that only the blood family of the head of the clan can obtain. her mom had it, and she will unlock it later on, when she is 16-17. this jutsu is called the life chakra jutsu. similar to the reincarnation jutsu, (life transfer jutsu) this jutsu allows its user to transfer all of their chakra into someone on the verge of death, in exchange for their own life.

Cool and it's not a overpowered or crazy kekkei Genkai. This is actually very simple and that's what's good about it. Instead of being flashy it's very simple. Good job.

There are some major flaws, however. for example, the jutsu requires the person that is dying to be dying of loss of chakra. so this jutsu will not work if the receiver is dying of natural causes, battle wounds, sicknesses, ect. it only works if the receiver is dying because they have been drained of all of their chakra. another flaw is that the caster will die when this jutsu is used, so it can only be used once. yet another flaw is that this jutsu requires major concentration, and for the caster not to be mortally wounded or dying. they must have enough chakra to transfer to the person who is dying, so they can have enough chakra to stay alive. also, if the caster's concentration is broken while performing this jutsu, both the caster and the receiver will die. to obtain this jutsu, you must do tons and tons of meditation, and you have to have seen someone you care about deeply, die in front of you.

I have one thing to say, why are these flaws and weaknesses some of the best that I have ever seen for a made up kekkei genkai. You added not only rules to using this kekkei genkai but also flaws to using it and what it would require or the person you are trying to help will die. This is amazing and very well thought out. Great job.

chakra nature- fire and wind

Cool

abilities:
ninjutsu-
wind style: invisible blades. makes wind go towards opponent at such fast speeds, that the wind becomes sharp like blades.

Nice, and it sounds very simple yet effective.

fire style: fireball jutsu. takes her a while to learn, but gets better once kakashi gives her some pointers.

Nice and he is the perfect person to ask if not Sasuke.

wind and fire release: exploding flames. puts fire and wind releases together to make small 'harmless' fireballs fly swiftly at her opponent, and at the last second, makes them blow up really big by putting wind on them to oxygenate them. this takes a lot of precision and accuracy, and it takes her a while to learn how to not blow herself up.

Nice and this has a drawback to it because it is powerful. Also this is a very cool and unique technique.

she has more, but these are just the basics that she uses mostly. she also has her kekkai genkai, but that's not really good for battle.

Ok, that is fine, thank you for the ones she uses the most.

abilities:
taijutsu- just normal hand to hand combat. punches kicks, kunai and shuriken. stuff like that.

Ok, so she is like the average ninja in taijutsu. Cool

abilities:
genjutsu- none.

Oh ok.

rank-
genin: 12 years old
chunin: 14 years old (so like, about a year after part one, when naruto's training with jiraiya)
jonin: 18 years old.

Nice, these are all good.
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Final Analysis- This OC is really good but it has some things that I would like to discuss. One is how did her mother know that she was in a anime and if she didn't how did Yuki end up in the real world? Another thing is was there something or someone that had brought her back to the naruto world? Or is that not decided yet? Also if she was teleported than how did her adoptive parents find her in order to raise her? I understand where they got her from and how she is a baby and that's how her name change but what made this couple adopt her? Other than that there are some other questions that need answers to them as well. But that's t it. This OC and the story is very unique from actually being in anime and going to the real world before going back into the anime but one thing is does she go to school in the real world? That's another question. However, the abilities and the Kekkei Genkai for this OC is awesome and the fact that it has such well developed flaws and weaknesses make it even better. This OC is really good and even if it has a little cliche that's ok. Thank you for letting me review your OC, it was a honor.
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