This OC is by Melody_Of_Flowers I hope you like it.
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Name: Hoshimi Higanbana

Cute name

Name meaning: 'Hoshimi' means 'Starlight', she was named that because of her mother and father always secretly meeting at night (Which I will explain why) and they will have code names for when they meet for example 'Star' means 'Let's meet' and 'Light' means 'Tonight'.

A amazing and creative way of making her name. The code is terrific, I have yet to see a OC have this till now. Great job.

Higanbana is a poisonous flower named 'Spider lily' (I will explain)

Ok, no problem

Age:
Part 1 - 12
Part 2 - 16
The Last - 22
Boruto: - 31

Ok, so the default age of the Naruto group. Cool

Gender: Female

Nice

Family: Murasakino Higanbana (Mother, died after performing a powerful seal) and Midori Higanbana (Father, killed)

Ok and thanks for giving the life status and what happened to them.

Appearance: Part 1 - Hoshimi has long black hair, black eyes, and porcelain-like skin tone. She wears a vibrant red top and a long red skirt that goes to her knees, black long sandals just below her knee, fingerless gloves and a bandage wrapped around her arm for emergency first aid. She wears a Konoha forehead protector, well on her forehead because that's what it's for.

Nice, she has a cute set of clothes but I recommend saying she has a long slit in her skirt so she can fight. When you have a long skirt it can be hard to do anything besides walk so having a skirt gives it more freedom.

Part 2 - She changed most of her outfit except the red color scheme, her outfit is now more of a red kimono as she doesn't battle as often anymore. The kimono is up to her knees with loose pants underneath and high black boots. She also holds a paper umbrella gifted by the Higanbana clan for her services which she uses as a weapon if necessary.

I like how she keeps the color and you explain why she wears a Kimono now. Also when you say boots do you mean open toed boots like Sakura's? Only reason is because those are the only boots I remember from Naruto from the top of my head.

Personality: Hoshimi is quiet and reserved before you know her, she tends to keep to herself and has this ongoing hate for herself, but if you look past all that, she actually has this secret desire to make friends and fit in with her class. She sees herself as a weaker than all the other students as her grade in the ninja academy wasn't the best since her clan is more of an entertainment industry than a fighting one resulting in most of the clan members to be thin and lanky as they don't need a well-built body to dance. She sees Sasuke as a role model and aims to be as talented as him and wants to be able to stand beside him and help him, this desire is one of the reasons that keep Hoshimi from giving up.

Cool, the way she holds herself is good considering her clan doesn't fight. But why Sasuke? Why did she decide to model after Sasuke? There is nothing wrong with that but there got to be a reason why she decided to follow Sasuke.

Personality Part 2: Hoshimi might seem like the emo kid who only self-hurts at first glance but once you get to know her she is a sweet girl that just wants to fit in and make friends (She has a hard time doing this because of her social anxiety), she's actually really stubborn and once she sets her goal no one can convince her out of it. But because of her stubborn nature and low self-esteem, Hoshimi doesn't cooperate well with people as she's afraid she'll let them down and the sight of the disappoint of her teammate's scares her because she's afraid of losing her friends that she had finally made.

Huh, she is very relatable character and has a feel to her. Only some OCs have a feel and a vibe to them which makes it seem like they belong. She has it. Good job.

Battle: Part 1 - Hoshimi relies on her flexibility and lightweight to battle and confuses her enemy with sudden moves like jumping into the fight but then back-flips to the side. She's fast at running and uses it to her advantage with slow opponents. She avoids battling head-on and relying on her strength (She's weak when it comes to strength) and especially hates battling Taijutsu (She basically avoids battling with Lee XD). She likes using brains then strength and won't engage in a fight unless necessary. She does have this unknown power that lets her sense movement of her enemies which she uses it rarely because the power has like an on and off switch which she can't control. (For example, she can be in a battle using that but suddenly she can't use the technique anymore)

Oh that's cool, not to mention it's one of the first OCs I've seen that isn't good at Taijutsu but uses tricks and strategy to win. Good job.

Part 2 - Her battle technique stays mostly the same except she had wielded the unknown power (Which had turned out to be a curse by a black cat before she was born which the cat infused some of its chakras into her to curse her) She uses the power to sense any movement even in darkness and her senses are powered up basically, though while using it, it causes extreme irritation to the eye (By extreme I mean she has legit blood coming out) and using it too long blinds her eyes (It can be permant if used long enough).

Oh ok and that is a great flaw in the eye. The draw back is perfect and I like how over the years she learned how to control it for makes her more grown up and stronger.

(Side note for the battle technique 2, it took some time so she can actually use the curse because the first time she tried her eyes were too sensitive for the overwhelming power, she immediately got blinded for a long period.)

Oh ok, also good job, i think your one of the only people that have great draw backs to these curses.

Past: (Lemme explain the village first, so the village is basically a flower village with all the clans based on a flower, for example, the Higanbana clan was well based on the Higanbana flower (Spider Lily). Each individual was also a color of the flower like 'Murasakino Higanbana' means 'Purple spider lily' and she has purple eyes and purple hair, and because of all the colors it's known as the most colorful village)

Sounds like a great village and how all the clans got their names is great. Even the overall name of the village is perfect.

Long before Hoshimi were born her clan was despised among the village as they had a deadly poison in their blood that can kill a person with just one touch. The clan used their poison to their advantage in battles that happened long ago and the village they lived in learned to not trust the Higanbanas (But they had kept the Higanbanas in their village since the Higanbana sold herbs and performed and it was a main source of money for the village), but now that the battles are settled the Higanbanas just wants to live peacefully with their village so to earn their trust they started to marry their daughters and sons to other clans so the poison in their blood will be impure (So the poison will be less deadly) and keep the poison a secret outside of the village (So the other clans will accept their daughters and sons).

That's pretty good but I suggest not having someone die in one touch over the poison. In Naruto no one ever truly dies in one touch and even for a clan that is made to dance shouldn't have a ability that powerful. It is still great to have but maybe instead of that they find themselves getting sick and if not treated could get worse and worse till eventually it can't be cured and they die. That would be better because that is how poison works in the real world and Naruto. It is a suggestion but I recommend using it.

Their business was going great and slowly and slowly their trust was built back. But one day, two Higanbanas fell in love with each other which was forbidden, they were Murasakino and Midori, Hoshimi's parents. 

Oh ok.

They met each other in secret and pretended to hate each other in public so they weren't suspected, but they took the relationship a bit too far and Murasakino was pregnant with a baby, Hoshimi. At that time, the village was battling a black cat demon, which was released by a spy tryna kill the Higanban.

Ok, it's great but what's with the demon cat? It's nothing really bad about it except the two tails is a cat and this could be called out for copying because it's a cat demon. Maybe it can be a different animal so you won't get accused of copying. Maybe something like a tiger, panther, lion, dog, or wolf.

(Hoshimi wasn't minded by the Higanbanas with her more deadly poison because she was supposed to be 'White Higanbana' and white is said to be a fortunate and pure color that brings good luck so the other Higanbana's was kind of looking forward to her. Also, something I didn't mention, Midori was supposed to be the next clan leader)

It's ok, I'm glad you remembered to put that in. It's good to see that there is a reason why she is loved instead of being loved for no reason. I mean forbidden parents and deadly poison don't mix good for a child but sense there is a reason why she is greeted with love it's not bad.

The Higanbanas taking responsibility killed off the black cat with their poison, but before the demon died it cursed the next clan leader's daughter Hoshimi, turning her into black the 'Black Higanbana' instead of white.

Oh, so it changed after the lucky color of white turned to black. Nice.

Black, in the village, was a disgraceful colour as many flowers associated with the color brought bad luck or died before they were born. Hoshimi however survived and was born, she was looked down upon as she had the purest Higanbana blood in the world (Meaning her poison was more deadly) and brought bad luck to the clan as when the word got out about Hoshimi the clan was once again not trusted and was brought in a bad luck. 

Ok so now she's hated because of the pure blood of poison and the black bad luck color. Alright, and it's a good way to put faith in because this is how somethings are in the real world.

The clan did not allow Hoshimi to step out of her house and planned to keep her confined until she was old enough to control her poison.

Alright

Though Hoshimi was a curious girl, so when the village was having a meeting, Hoshimi snuck out and while exploring she came across the captain of the village's office (Or like the one who controls things) she went in annnd basically contaminated everything, when she was going back she was caught and immediately brought back. The next day, surprise surprise, the captain died.

Ohhhhhh, well, dang. So it's her fault because she still couldn't control her poison. Wait so did she touch things in his office or was in just her standing there? If so how did only he die? Wouldn't the poison contaminate the air? If she was standing there, I thought you stated that she has to touch things to poison them? Last thing, wouldn't the clan build up a immune to the poison sense it comes from them and they have the same poison? These are just questions that need answers.

And Hoshimi was blamed. Finally having enough, the village went out to kill Hoshimi (They believe a life for another, basically meaning that if Hoshimi kills someone the only way to pay it up by losing her life as well.) Her mother ran away with her while her father stayed back to give the mother and daughter time to run away (Midori, got killed by his own father while his father said: "I'm sorry I never been able to say this but, I've always been proud of you son." ;-;)

Wait so how did her mother survive touching Hoshimi if the captain died? Shouldn't the mother and the father both be dead? Or been dead? Also I like how their code is similar to the code of hammurabi.

Murasakino or the mother ran away to Konoha and sealed away Hoshimi's curse and memories to keep her from going back to Hanakotoba (The village name) (But the to seal such a powerful curse it needed a human sacrifice so ;-;) and was delivered at the door of Konoha (I forgot to mention this but the Higanbana clan was on good terms with the Hokage at that time because of all the offers it did in the war and its trading, also Hoshimi was about 6 when this happened). 

Ok, but there is one problem. Hoshimi and her mother would be considered traitors to their clan because they are enemies and ran away. If Konoha is allies with the clan than why would they take in the traitor of the clan they are allies with. Also if the mother and Hoshimi did some how get into the village afterwards, why didn't the mother tell the hokage the situation before killing herself to seal away the curse? Because no one can just figure that some girl is at the gate and wouldn't the guards at the gate see them and alert the hokage? These are more questions that need answers.

The Hokage gave Hoshimi a apartment that was free (Also forgot to mention, Hoshimi's poison was taken care off as it was sealed by the Higanbana's but it wasn't complete as it was like an off and on switch, which Hoshimi can control, but after her memories being wiped she forgot about everything) 

Why would the Hokage let her live by herself in the apartment as a 6 year old? Why didn't he have someone adopt her or take care of her? A 6 year old, even in anime can't fend for themselves.

She didn't live in the apartment tbh she just wandered around, but one day she met Chikako in a ninja academy (I can talk about Chikako's backstory for legit the whole day but I'm just going to leave her backstory out for now because it'll probably be too long) and they became best friends, there are reasons for this but I'm not going to explain this time because it will be too long, but one unfortunate day Chikako got killed because of Hoshimi and it left Hoshimi traumatized and guilty because she could've helped but she was too scared to move, it also recovered one of her memories because the seal breaks after a traumatizing experience. She turned into this self-hate character for years, isolating herself from others afraid to let them down, but slowly, she begins to want to make friends and restart, hoping to begin a new life and leave the past behind her, this is where the story starts. (Though the story does go into more depth as she ponders who she is and begins to want to know more about her past)

Ok, the part about her and best friend is fine but when she is wandering is there no responsible people that talk to her? Also when does Chikako gets killed? Because if it's the academy wouldn't the parents be mad at Hoshimi? If ninja than who did they replace her with? These are more questions that need answers.

Other: She's interested in herbs and nature. Her clan and village are in the entertainment industry and trading plants like herbs. Also, side note to know more about Chikako, she was bullied and had no friends. (Me when I was small tbh)

It's ok, bullying is a big problem I was bullied in 5th grade, so don't feel too bad. Anyway, this is great.

Relationships: She admires Sasuke in the beginning but she slows begins to want more as the story progresses, as she decides she wants to help Sasuke on the right path and stand beside him instead of behind, Sasuke was a motivation for her to not give up as when they were very small (Which I didn't mention in the bio because I forgot) Sasuke was the first kid she met when she got to the village and he basically cheered her up because she was too shy to talk to anyone, him cheering her up was the reason she got the courage to talk to Chikako. 

Ok, so did she meet Sasuke before or after the Uchiha massacre? If before than yeah he's pretty happy but afterwards he was no longer the happy kid he was.

Though, she was stuck in the past as she fell in love with the Sasuke when they were small, not the Sasuke now, which she eventually accepts. Sasuke doesn't understand why she won't give up on him, she has a boy that would do anything for her but she chooses him, he thinks after all the things he had done he thinks he's not worth it, he had tried to kill Hoshimi multiple times as Hoshimi had also challenged Sasuke multiple times to a fight and basically gets beaten in all of it lmao, first time she got defeated she was extremely depressed as she thought she wasn't good enough after all, but after some talking with friends she met on her journey she was more determined than ever. Sasuke appreciates her, as a friend or as a crush he does not know, but he knows he values her greatly. In Boruto Sasuke gets married to Sakura and Hoshimi got so depressed she had a one night stand with Sasuke one time when he was drunk (She wasn't thinking) resulting in Hoshimi to be pregnant, then drama. Slowly, Sasuke begins to realize the mistake of his choices and that he loves Hoshimi, and then shit and drama happens.

Ok this is and I'm not trying to be mean but is pretty bad don't get mad. Listen Hoshimi right now sounds- no- actually is a dead on Sakura right now. Loved him sense kids, Sakura, never gave up on him, Sakura, tried to kill Hoshimi, he tried to kill Sakura, has challenged him, Sakura did that too, has a boy that would do anything for her, that is literally Sakura for she had Lee and Naruto after her. It sounds like you copied Sakura and pasted it into Hoshimi's bio and just changed the name. I'm just gonna go ahead and say that, that is very bad and should be changed. Also, what's the point of having him marry Sakura than if drama and shit is gonna happen and nobody would really be on her side. Why don't you just have Sasuke and her fall in love on their own time and not have a one night stand. It's a fanfic you know a story, though you would have to have many events happen with Sasuke you should just have her and him end up together without having to go through the drama. But don't take Sakura's experiences and make them hers because like I said, it looked, sounded, and basically was a copy and paste with a name change. Not being mean but keeping it real.
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Final Analysis- This OC was pretty good but it has things to fix. One thing is the skirt and how it should have a slit for easier fighting. Another thing is how the poison shouldn't kill people in one touch, that is OP. Another thing is how did she get in the hidden leaf village and how her mom or dad didn't get killed from her poison but the captain did? The last thing is her relationship which I went into great detail about above. Like I said it's really a copy and paste. I say take the suggestions I offer and answer the questions while working on the relationship with Sasuke. Other than these things this OC was good but it's those things can ruin a OC and I'm here to make sure you don't get called out, or she don't be called a mary sue or a copy cat. All I say in this review is to help her and I hope I did. It was a honor to review her and thanks for letting me review her.
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