This OC is by Hadassaam I hope you like it.
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Dear Reviewer, 

Hi I am Hadassam and I want you to please review my oc for my book, The Determination. Let me begin.

Naruto fanfiction oc

Name: Yamauchi Menma

Nice name

Age:
part one: 12,
part two: 16,
the last: 19,
Boruto: 32 

So the naruto age group.

Gender: female

Nice

Family: Daichi (father, alive and a civilian), Masuyo (mother, alive and a ninja), Saeko (older sister, dead and a ninja), Inori (older brother, alive and a civilian)

Nice and thanks for th life status and relations.

Appearance

Hair colour: dark brown

Beautiful common color

Eye colour: dark green

Beautiful common color

Hair length:
age twelve: her hair was long and in three ponytails but she chopped it off to look like a boy's own during the chunin exams
Age 16: back length, later cut to shoulder length during the war
19: shoulder length
32: back length

Cool

Dressing
Age 12: overalls, lower thigh stopping, white short sleeved shirt. Bandages for thigh high socks and on her arms to cover her scarred arms
16: A simple blue shirt and shorts with fish net on elbows and knees
19: a long sleeved blue long jacket, buttoned at the top, underneath it, a black shirt and shorts, with calf length ninja sandals and fishnet thigh high socks.
32: standard jonin outfit

Nice and I think the overalls could work, there are many characters with similar outfits to that clothing.

Personality : calm but stubborn. She has the ability to be calm even when insulted but freezes up when its a surprise. Stubborn as a donkey, hardly changes her mind or opinion, like her mother. She won't fight or argue but she would dig in her heels and not move, passively aggressive. She is also a tomboy in dressing.

This is really good she's the calm but won't change her mind type. Not a lot of people have this. It's usually one or the other.

Chakra natures: (primary) water, (secondary) earth, (tertiary) wood

Nice

Kekkei Genkai: (from her mother's side) Chō Nōryoku (meaning psychic ability)
It allows the user to see steps ahead of their opponent or possible moves. It quickens the agility of the user, to counter the attack. One miscalculation or wrong move could end up not allowing the user be able to counter.

Great weakness

First stage: awakening, can only see three steps
Stage 2: novice, five steps ahead
Stage 3: expert, fifteen steps
Stage 4: master, twenty steps
TbcHowever, overuse can cause temporary blindness or bleeding from the eyes and chakra depletion.
Permanent damages are permanent blindness and/or death due to chakra loss.

The steps are a nice touch.

Mother's clan: the Okamoto

Nice

Sign: hourglass

Using something common but symbolic like a hourglass is perfect.

The Okamoto clan are divided into two. The water users that live in Konoha and the earth users that live in Suna. The division is caused by a dispute between the two clan which will be mentioned in the story. 
The water has blue eyes and black hair while the earth have brown hair and green eyes. Menma and her mother are outcasts because of their resemblance to the earth users. (Menma's grandmother was from the earth side but her death fuelled the dispute)

This summary is great and gave me simple but useful information.

Jutsu by this clan Senzo no chikara (power of the ancestors): it allows for the person to ask for strength from the ancestors. But after the wave of strength, the jutsu (if not original or from the ancestors) used are forgotten and leads to chakra exhaustion and fainting or extreme cases coughing blood. Only masters can use this jutsu. Menma skips to the master stage due to divine intervention but it damages her systems badly especially after the use of this power during the chunin exams.

The weakness shown here is good, the fact that it affects her system is good instead of it affecting a single body part or chakra.

Time reversal jutsu: a genjutsu that allows the user to see a glimpse of the past in slow motion. Can only be held for maximum ten seconds. This is the only genjutsu Menma can do.

This is a very interesting move. But the name is a a bit confusing. It says time reversal which is actually time going backwards not seeing the past. The name should be changed to something about flashbacks or memories but reversal is not a good choice.

Time freeze jutsu: this jutsu allows for the user to freeze someone or people in time. Can only last for three seconds. Awakeners can use this jutsu but it leads to nausea.

This is very cool but I have to do this, ZA WARUDO!!!

Memory torture: a genjutsu technique that makes the opponent see their worst memory. Novices can use this but Menma cannot.

Nice and the fact that it is simple to the point that a novice can use it but she can adds to the she can only do one aspect. Great job.

Battle

Ninjutsu:
Water whip jutsu, (D ranked): a jutsu that allows the user to spit out a whip made of water

Water chain jutsu (D ranked): only lasts for a minute, user can hold a person down with water from under the ground or around. Only Menma can bring water from the broken ground due to her earth style.

Water protective jutsu: (C ranked). (At age 16) if enough water is around, she can protect herself and other with a force field (I think) made out of water.

Earth: mud walls jutsu. (Age sixteen)

Earth rumble jutsu: she learnt this jutsu from her teammate who is an earth user. (age 16), allows the ground to rumble under her opponents

Head hunter: allows her to go under ground and burst open.

These ninjutsu abilities are really good and the fact that you labeled them either rank is s nice touch.

Genjutsu: very terrible, has to break free using physical injury or harm.

Nice

Taijutsu: 
Karōshi (death kick):She stands on her hand and kicks her opponents, while spinning. Her legs are very strong, her kick is equivalent to Sakura's punch. However she can't punch (it's a defect) but she has great upper arm strength. 
She is good with hand to hand combat due to her incessant training with her mother and then for a brief time, grand father (during chunin exams)

Cool

Secret technique:Okamoto offensive attack: it allows the user to use their fingers, channelling their chakra to it, to hurt or injure their opponent internally. However the user's fingers or hand gets broken due to excessive chakra, so it is not often used.

Nice back draw.

Past: Menma was a sickly child and started the academy late, at age nine because of this. Her father and brother were against her being a ninja but her mother approved of it. She was bullied because of her small frame and her lack of stamina. Not to mention her being bad at math and her scores average. Her only friend was Naruto because they were both lonely at school. She began to train with her mother and push herself further until she gained stamina and got stronger.

That's good but what made her want to become a ninja? She is sick and can be a civilian so why does she choose to be ninja?

Relationship: Her and Naruto are friends but they drift apart in part 2, due to his obsession to get Sasuke back (it was a huge fight). Her teammate, Hiro becomes her closest friend after.

Hood job using events that happened in cannon to justify their break apart.

Sasuke is someone she wanted to be she hoped to be his rival. Sakura and her were not friends until after the chunin exams. She hated Kiba because he said she stunk of farm during the academy

Nice this is good.
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Final Analysis- This OC has a some problems but it's all things that can be fixed in a snap. One thing is that it claims she has a sister but she is no where in sight. Even in the past it mentions her father and brother briefly but not a thing about her sister. The next is the name of that jutus, as I said before reversal means to go backwards or rewind which isn't what the move is. The move is to see a piece of history not to rewind history. It can also be called a redo but this is for viewing the past only, in a history class you don't rewind to view the history you look through the text book or information given to you to draw your conclusion. The justsu is not bad but the name isn't fit for it. I would suggest instead of time reversal maybe memory view, it's not the best name but it's something to suggest that you can only view the memory, not change it. Other than that this OC is really good, thank you for letting me review your OC, it was a honor.
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