its 3 am cuz i just finished watching a show and now i feel motivated go update
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⚠️ smoking/cigarettes

Darryl's POV

Darryl: 25

My life has changed completely. When I first found out about Zak, my whole world came crashing down on me. I mean, how else would you react when you realize the one person you love so much, is gone? And it's all my fault.

I'm such an idiot. People tell me not to blame myself, but I do. I could have saved him. I could have. But I didn't.

Now he's gone, because of me.

I tried finding him, I really did. Every day, I would go outside and try to find him. I would go to the same forest and explore every inch of the place. Then I would go back home with tears flowing down my cheeks.

I became distant. Not having him around hurt me. I talked less at school, removed myself from any group project or club, my grades slowly crumbled, and I never created a new friend.

Now here I am, working at a small coffee shop after graduating from college. Working here is nice. I just call up orders, serve them, and done.

My parents hated me. They knew how depressed I got and they tried to take me to a therapist, but I refused.

I hate my life.

I just want to hold him again. I want to hold him in my arms and protect him from any danger. I want to tell him how much I love him. I want to shower him with kisses and never let him out of my sight.

As usual, I call up the next customer and add in their order on the computer. They hand me their money and I give them the change. Then a co-worker of mine prepares their food.

I wonder how Zak would look now. Would his hair still be poofy? I wonder if his skin is still smooth and maybe his eyes would still glisten whenever he would stare at the stars at night.

"Hey, Kari, I'm going to take a quick break," I call to my co-worker after finishing with the final customer.

My co-worker just replies with an okay and I remove my apron and hang it on a hook before walking out the back exit to an empty alleyway.

Right when the door shuts behind me, I walk over to a metal trash can in the corner of the alleyway and grab a packet of cigarettes from underneath. I sigh as I take a bud out and put the rest back under the trash can. I grab a lighter from my pocket and slide down against the wall until my legs are pulled up to my chest and I take a nice puff.

I feel my heart tug and my eyes start to water.

I groan and shake my head. "No, stop, I can't anymore. Don't cry..." I whisper to myself, burying my head in my arms as I feel my head start to hurt.

"You know, it's not healthy to smoke."

That stupid voice.

"Oh shut up. I told you not to come here anymore. Why the hell are you even here?" My voice hisses as I take a peek up and I see the same figure standing in front of me.

He grins, his hood hiding his hair and sunglasses hiding his eyes. He digs his hands in his hoodie as I feel his gaze trail around me. "Yeah, I know, but here I am. I don't think Zak would like it if he saw you doing this."

I can hear his stupid grin. I snap my head up and my eyes glare at him, flames lightening up in anger as he mentions his name. "Shut the fuck up. You do not get to bring him up. You have no fucking right."

The man giggles. His name is Skeppy. A man not much younger than me. He found me in this same alleyway, drunk and stupid. I accidentally spilled my problems to him and now he won't leave me alone.

"Or what? You know it's true." Skeppy moves over to sit beside me. He slides down against the wall and crosses his legs, his lips turning into a grin as I stare into his glasses.

"Well guess what, he isn't here. Hasn't been here with me for years. So you better shut the fuck up and leave me alone." I spat, turning my body to face away from him and I lean my arm against the wall, putting the cigarette up to my lips and taking another puff.

I can feel my body slowly relax. I hate how sad I am. I need some stupid nicotine to make somewhat happy.

"You are no fun, you know that?" I can hear him sigh as he leans back against the wall.

I shrug, "Should have expected this when you first saw me crying myself in the corner of this alleyway."

There was silence. The sounds of cars going by fill the air and my puffs of smoke slowly fly up and disappear into the sky.

"What was he like?" Skeppy asks.

My heart flips. My eyes widen and I can feel myself slowly crumble. I slowly lower my head down, facing the ground as my eyes slowly soften.

"He was special. So energetic and sweet. He could make me happy just with him being there. He was like the best friend you've always wanted." The corner of my lips flickers up as I start to picture him in front of me. "I remember the way he used to laugh. It was cute. I always wanted to try and make him laugh, just to hear his giggle. And he has the best of hugs. I loved having him in my arms. He was tiny and I swear I never wanted to let go. He was my everything."

I felt something hit my leg. I see a teardrop has fallen onto my pants and seep through the cloth to hit my skin. Skeppy was just quiet.

"And now he's gone, because of me." I smile sadly, feeling myself start to cry. The cigarette slips out of my hand and it rolls onto the ground away from me.

"Hey, hey, hey..." I hear movement from
behind me as I bury my face in my hands. Skeppy moves up and crawls over to in front of me.

I don't bother to look up as I sense his hands awkwardly hover over me, unsure of what to do.

"I want him back... I want Zak back... I need him back... I can't go on like this... I miss him so fucking much Skeppy. I loved him so much. Hell, I still love him to this day..." I was broken at this point. Months after not crying, I broke.

Suddenly he places a hand on my shoulder and I flinch. I look up at him from my hands. I bite my bottom lip to keep it from quivering and I just shake my head. "I want to see him again. I would do anything to see my Zak again. I should have saved him. I should have fucking saved him. I'm so fucking pathetic..."

Ugly sobs escape my lips as I feel his gaze on me.

"Oh, Darryl..." Skeppy whispers, his hand placed gently on my shoulder. He motions me to lean forward, and I do. My whole body falls over and my head lands on his chest, my legs curled up as I cover my face with my hands, tears falling onto his hoodie now.

"It wasn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself. Zak wouldn't want this..." He whispers. I can hear a voice crack in his voice, as if he was going to cry. Why would he cry?

"Who else am I supposed to blame...?" I whisper, my eyes glued shut as I feel his arms wrap around me. Oh, how I wish he was Zak. Oh, how I wish I was in Zak arm's right now.

"Those men. Blame those men. Because of them, I couldn't grow up with you..."

Then my whole body freezes. My eyes widen as I process what he just said. My sobs slowly quiet down as I suddenly remove myself from his grasp and I turn my head to look at Skeppy. "Shut the fuck up. You are not him! You can't just say shit like that! He's gone! I saw it with my own fucking eyes! He disappeared from my grasp!" I was angry.

Skeppy shakes his head. "Darry..."

"Do not call me Darry," I growl. I stand up and turn my body away from him.

I hear him stand up and he grabs my arm, turning me around to face him. "Darryl, I know you won't believe me, but it's true..." He whispers.

I couldn't see his reaction because of his glasses and hood. I shake my head, shoving his hand off as I point at him, "How the hell am I supposed to know if you have that stupid hood and glasses on?!"

Then he sighs, lowering his arms and nods. "Fine." He then raises his hands to his hood and glasses, slowly removing them off.

I stare at him, my arms cross as I suddenly see him. My eyes widen as I see those familiar-brown orbs and his poofy black hair standing up. My hand slowly points as I stumble back, my eyes not believing the sight in front of me.

"No... no... you can't- no..." My voice trails off.

He nods, "It's me, Zak! I'm alive and sort-of well! Darry please..."

I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut and digging my hands into my hair. "No... this has to be a joke... I'm just hallucinating..."

Then he grabs my hands and moves my face to look at him. "Give me a question only Zak would know..."

My heart is racing and my head is aching. I refuse to believe this. I glare, "My birthday, before Zak disappeared, he gave me something I would never forget..."

Skeppy looks at me, his eyebrow-raising and suddenly his eyes widen. A grin forms on his face and he whispers, "I remember that day." My heart flips. "It was your sixteenth birthday and we went out to our secret spot in the forest. I got you a new hoodie. But it wasn't the hoodie. It was what happened afterward. We danced under the moonlight. Just the two of us. I remember there was no music and only the sounds of the lake flowing and the sounds of leaves rustling in the winds. I kissed you on the cheek that day. You looked so adorable with your cheeks all flushed and-"

It was him. I suddenly move myself to jump on him. My body crashes with his as I wrap my arms around the body I missed. I hear him groan as his back hits the concrete and my head buries in his chest.

"Zak! It is you! Oh my goodness..." I begin to sob again. Tears of joy were escaping my eyes as I slowly squeeze tighter. The boy who I missed was actually in front of me. The boy who was missing for years is now back in my arms.

His giggles erupt the air as he moves himself to wrap his arms around me. I feel his hand caress my cheek, making me smile like a maniac.

"Yes, my sweet Darryl... I am back with you... I promise to never leave you again and I'm never planning to let go of you... I love you so much Darry..."

WC: 1950

ok i am not proud of this one >.>