John sighed, somehow he and Sherlock's conversation switched to the Reichenbach fall.

John was talking about how odd it was that Sherlock kept wearing his scarf inside, and barely took it off anymore so Sherlock started explaining why.

He untied his scarf and turned, tilting his head up so John could see the multiple scars.

“During the two years I was gone, I tried killing myself many times. I couldn't stand being away from you for so long, I even kept calling you to hear your voice, but I always hung up after you said hello.”

A frown replaced John's lips, “That was you?” He asked softly.

“Yes.”

“Sherlock… why didn't you tell me?”

“I couldn't deal with hearing you cry and say my name. I was going to pretend I was some kind of salesmen, but I couldn't think of you just being like; 'Sherlock… is that you?’ it would've broke my heart.”

John leaned forwards and set a hand on Sherlock's shoulder. “You tried actually killing yourself?”

“Yes…”

“Well tell me, Sherlock. How did you fake the fall?”

Sherlock leaned in and kissed John. He closed his eyes and tried to enjoy it. But once he let John's lips go and backed away he shook his head. “I didn't.”

“What do you mean?”

Slowly, Sherlock took John's hands. He kissed his neck and pressed their foreheads together. “I didn't fake it,” he said and put a hand on John's cheek, a few tears running down his own.

John felt the hand on his cheek evaporating. He looked up at Sherlock and saw him fading away. “I love you…” Sherlock said, before his entire body was no longer there. John was left astonished, he jumped towards were Sherlock was.

“Sherlock!? SHERLOCK!?” John freaked out, calling his name and searching around the flat. He started crying, Sherlock was nowhere to be seen. Was he imagining a ghost? John looked to the side. He heard Mary talking in the kitchen.

“Yes. He's gone.” Mary said. John walked up to her.

“Sherlock…” John mumbled, Sherlock never even came back, did he? He just imagined Sherlock the entire time…

He called Mycroft. “Where did Sherlock go?”

“What do you mean? He died years ago.”

John's eyes widened, he freaked out and threw his phone to the ground, only to hear a disembodied crying.

John woke up, staring at his surroundings. It was blurry for a bit but everything settled down. He was at a hospital. In a bed. An IV attached to him and many gifts piled up on a table in the corner. That's when he noticed the crying Sherlock by his side. He put a hand in Sherlock's fluffy hair and smiled weakly.

“How long…?” He asked.

“Two months…” Sherlock said quietly. He wasn't in the best condition himself, he had a tired face, signs of crying, hell he was even crying at that moment.

“I love you too.” John said.

“You heard me…?”

“Yes. I heard you say you love me...” John tried pulling himself up, but Sherlock pressed him back down. “S-Sherlock…”

“No, John. You need the rest, lay down, please.”

“You said you didn't…” John mumbled and put a hand on Sherlock's cheek. “you didn't survive the fall… you tried killing yourself during the two years… you… you called me but never talked… you told me you loved me then disappeared…”

“Oh, John… we were on a case, John, we were on a case and something…” he paused, seemingly unable to get the rest out. He cried a bit and laid his head on the bed next to John. “something… r-really… bad happened…”

John made Sherlock look up, “hold me…”

A small smile replaced Sherlock's frown and he wiped away some tears, “Oh, John… I love you so much…” he put his arms around John and cried into him.

“I'm c-cold…” John mumbled, smiling. Sherlock hugged him tighter, but not too tight. “Sherlock…” he made Sherlock look up so they were staring at each other.

They both leaned in, closing their eyes and letting their lips connect. Sherlock smiled through the kiss, cupping John's face.

“Thank you…” Sherlock mumbled, “thank you, so much… for waking up… I missed you.

“I missed the real you, too. I wasn't able to make such great deductions in my head, so you didn't really make many of them on our cases…”

Sherlock kissed John's neck, “It's okay. Just rest now…”

“But…” Sherlock shushed him by giving another kiss.

“Get better, John. Please.”

“Okay… I will.” John smiled softly and closed his eyes, he went to sleep. When he woke up Sherlock was still next to him, still on the chair, still holding John's hand.

He smiled and hoped they would be back home soon.