| it's alright

ミ●﹏☉ミ

11:23am, it was dark, the only source of light inside youngeun's room was a small moon shaped lamp, something y/n gifted her during one of those times they went on a date together. the silence was so loud, there was nothing there but constant ringing of the air. the heavy feeling on top of youngeun doesn't seem to fade away, it was hard to breath, it scares youngeun so much.

yet— youngeun didn't bother to even move a muscle, she was laying down in the bed, her blanket wrapped around her just in her chest, her eyes were opened wide awake as she stared into nothing but the white ceiling of her room. she was basically paralyzed and couldn't move.

her breathing felt heavy, her brain was pumping so badly and there was nothing but emptiness inside of it, there was no single thought but fear.

youngeun was scared and she didn't know why or for what? gripping her blanket tightly, youngeun gulped, wishing this would end and she could close her eyes, yet, it doesn't seem to work.

the air was cold, the humid feeling of the wind hitting her toes made youngeun whimper, scared that something might touch her and surprise her to death and even with the cold of the wind, she was still sweating buckets, and it felt like someone took her breath away in a hitch.

"help—" she whispered, scared and vulnerable, she had no strength, after those nights she got nightmares at the middle of the dark, she felt like she's in no shape to fight anymore. the bed felt like it was suffocating her, like she was slowly sinking in and getting eaten up by the dark.

suddenly, the lamp's light went off, surprising youngeun, making her flinch on her bed, breath hitching. then it went back again, flickering for a few times before the light went back to normal.

youngeun looked to her right where her nightstand was sitting, there she saw her phone and the moon lamp, her phone vibrated— over the wood of the small table, she hears the vibration.

youngeun's ears perked, moving her hand slightly to reach for the phone, when she felt tears prickling down on the corners of her eyes, slowly rolling down and wetting the bed sheets.

"y/n..." she muttered, hoping it was y/n who messaged her.

was it because of the non-stop nightmares?

was it the fear of the dark?

the fear of being alone.

the fear of having no one beside her.

or the separation anxiety and constant fear of abandonment.

was she being a burden?

selfish?

does y/n find it hard of catering her with attention—

youngeun sobs, gripping her phone.

the phone lit up, bombarded with notifications and messages from y/n.

youngeun? are you up?

youngeun.

hey,

you okay?

[you missed one call from y/n]

i can't sleep, i am thinking of you right now.

i am very worried... (˘･_･˘)

did you have nightmares?

do you want me to go there?
seen 12:19am.

i didn't hear anything... youngeun thought, her eyes watery, tears staining her cheeks and bed sheets, her nose was red and her face too.

how did i not notice? youngeun's mind was occupied the whole time, and she was scared her lack of response scared and worried y/n too. with quivering hands, youngeun sat up and had managed to type a reply.

y/n.

i can't sleep too,

i'm scared.
seen 12:24am.

youngeun was at least able to breath a lot more better than before, just by the thought that y/n was watching over her through messages and making sure she's okay gave youngeun relief.

right, good.

i'll call.
seen 12:23am.

suddenly, youngeun hears a loud ringing from her phone, y/n's contact number appearing on the screen with her name and a picture of her and youngeun together.

yet again— with quivering lips and fingers, youngeun gets the courage to answer the call.

"youngeun." youngeun couldn't help but sigh as soon as she heard the voice, a very familiar one that she was used to hear. youngeun sobs, as her heart was filled with brim happiness and relief, there was nothing that she ever wished other than having to hear y/n.

"y/n..." y/n, she was the only person who understands and handles youngeun with pure heart, she never complained, got mad, abused or ever hurt youngeun, she believes youngeun is a brave girl with a fragile heart of a glass.

there was always a sudden responsibility that y/n feels like she needs to fullfil, it's to protect youngeun and be there for her when she is needed.

from the day they saw each other, talked to each other, went on a date, kissed, hugged— y/n knew that she wanted to be there for youngeun, the need to be always by her side.

youngeun could hear y/n's heavy breathing through the other line. "are you scared? did you have a nightmare?" y/n asked, as gentle as she was, as careful as always. youngeun could feel her heartbeat pulsing very hard in her chest, sweat falling faster than it did before.

"yes, and i'm alone, i can't breath... nor sleep." youngeun replied, looking out to her window that was covered by the thin fabrics of the curtains, faintly moving as the wind blows.

"do you need company?" youngeun hears a faint shuffling of bedsheets from the other line, footsteps as y/n trudges to stand and approach the door of her room.

"if you can, please, i need you here right now." youngeun has started living alone for some months after her parents went away for work, believing that thier daughter would be able to trudge in her own feet with their support, yet she still wasn't used with the company of loneliness, it made her look weak, like a tall child needing her parents' company.

youngeun hears a door creaking open from y/n's line. "yes i'll be there." youngeun doesn't know if she'll end the call or not, youngeun doesn't think she can, she doesn't know if she can or she has the courage to.

y/n probably knew and felt like that was what youngeun was feeling. "hey don't end the call." y/n stated, there was a sound of a vehicle, and youngeun couldn't identify what it was.

youngeun is a brave girl, happy, energetic and strong, made people laugh and was always the person there for everyone, but there was something in her that needed that attention, she was fragile too, easily scared, and she was afraid to show her weak side.

to that today y/n saw her crying very hard at the back of their school, she was afraid y/n would think of her lowly, but she watches as y/n smiled at her and sat beside her, then started comforting her.

from that day— that was the first time youngeun felt sparks on her heart, leaping with joy, the world felt like an absolute mess, but there she was talking with y/n, as her worries fades away.

without noticing, youngeun hears y/n's once again. "i'm here, should i open the door?" y/n has a spare keys of youngeun's room and the door of the house, she was the only person youngeun trusted and will always trust no matter what.

"yes." the sound of keys and door greeted youngeun, she sighed in relief as she heard soft trudging of shoes from downstairs and the door closing, the footsteps continued, until she could actually hear it from her room. the door opens, revealing a y/n in t-shirt and pants.

youngeun ends the call, as she saw y/n silhouette walking closer, the light from the lamp gave youngeun a clearer look on y/n, she was wearing a soft smile in her face. the bed sinks as y/n adds her weight with youngeun's and sat down beside youngeun was was holding her phone.

youngeun felt an arm wrapped in her waist as y/n leans in to her and puts her chin on youngeun's shoulder, moving her body under the cover of youngeun's blanket. "you look tired." y/n pouted, another hand from y/n caress youngeun's cheeks to wipe away the tears and the stain. youngeun lets out a broken sob.

"sorry, i just— couldn't sleep." youngeun responded, her eyes taking in y/n's worried look. yet— y/n sighed, shushing youngeun and tucking in one of the black and blonde strands of youngeun's hair behind her ear. "shhh... no need to say sorry okay? i know and i understand you." y/n whispered, lulling youngeun into peace.

y/n heaves a chuckle. "at least i'm here now and you don't have to be scared anymore." y/n was right, and youngeun realized, there was nothing to fear anymore now that she's under y/n's arms. youngeun nodded, leaning in to y/n, wrapping her arms in y/n's body.

y/n laid them both down in the bed, as she hums. "goodnight youngeun," y/n mutters, patting youngeun's back softly, the heavy feeling in youngeun's eyelid came, as she slowly closes her eyes and give into the sensation and warmth of y/n's touch.