Sakamoto Mashiro (Kep1er)

| why won't you love me?


note: call me an "nft" bcs i have felt absolutely "no female touch" my whole life.


putting her phone on airplane mode, y/n sets it down the lacquer table, rubbing her forehead as she leaned down the sofa, groaning in defeat, hoping nothing would bother her for the meantime as she tries to think about her life and all the things she wanted to happen while she and mashiro are not in good terms and she pretends everything's in order.


please be good til' i get back. y/n prays inside her head, as she took the glass on the table and took a sip on the alcohol, her throat burning warm as the liquid rolls of her tongue down to her stomach.


y/n presses her cheek against the cold glass, sighing deeply as her eyes stay half-lidded under the dim light of the living room.


for some reason, the ground her feet was stepping to felt like it was nowhere to be seen or felt anywhere, y/n felt like anytime soon if she moves away from the sofa she'll fall in the deepest depths of hell.


but she holds back the tears, closing her eyes as she breathes heavily with the cold breeze of the air inside the apartment.


"jesus christ." y/n muttered, opening her eyes a little before rolling it and leaning away from the glass, head lazily laying on the sofa. "mashiro..." she muttered, chuckling breathlessly, the picture of the certain girl running circles across her head before she muttered a small cry under her lips.


"i'm sorry." as if she was crazy, y/n continues to talk to herself, if not, then the girl in her head.


it was quiet, except for the sound of the fan just a few meters away from her, a drop of sweat fell off y/n's forehead, rolling down to her chin before the latter sat up properly and placed the glass on the table, taking her phone to check on mashiro, only to see her face on the lockscreen as if telling her that everything will be okay and she won't be lonely.


although, it probably isn't true.


she's drunk and still haven't properly apologized to the other woman, and she's quite sure a good slap on her face is deserved if she went on mashiro's apartment drunk.


"fucking hell." y/n scoffs.


°°°°°°°


it's 12am and y/n rings the doorbell of mashiro's apartment, tapping her shoes as she waited for an answer, for a short moment no one answered, and impatient, y/n rings the doorbell once again.


until the door opened and an unexpected person opened the door.


"y/n-unnie? are you looking for mashiro-unnie?" yeseo looked at y/n, confused yet seemingly known to the situation, y/n's stomach flipped as she looked away and sighed, scratching the back of her head and she took a peek inside the apartment before shifting her gaze back to the younger girl.


"where's mashiro?" she asked, raising her brows, yeseo looked back inside the apartment then faced y/n once again, shrugging. "i don't know, i just got here but she's not here yet." answered yeseo. y/n looked at her before nodding slowly.


"when do you think she'll comeback?" asked y/n once again, yeseo looked away for a bit to think before answering. "er... i don't know, maybe tomorrow, she's at work i think or with yurina-unnie celebrating something." yeseo replied, earning nods from y/n. "okay, thanks." said y/n, she faced away and started walking away from the apartment, hearing the door close.


y/n stops for a bit as she heard her phone rang and a call from xiaoting greets her as soon as she opens the phone, y/n answered the call, hearing the voice of a close friend.


"hey y/n." xiaoting greets, although she sounded off and frustrated. y/n looked back to mashiro's apartment. "what's up?" she greeted. "come on, i really need a companion right now, this is so sick." xiaoting stated, y/n hears a groan and shuffling from the other side.


"are you drunk?" asked y/n as she started walking once again to the parking lot. xiaoting chuckled then she huffed. "not yet, that's why i'm asking you to come here, i need a friend." y/n could hear the tapping of fingers on a wooden table from the other line as she entered her car and started the engine.


"alright, don't do something dumb i'll get there." y/n stated. "yeah, yeah, get in here asap." xiaoting reminded before hanging up the phone and surprising y/n who shook her head.


°°°°°°°


few deep drinks in a table for one, y/n and xiaoting sits across each other, one drunk and one sober, xiaoting buried her head her arms as she groaned loudly paired with soft sobs, her hand holding a bottle of beer.


"can you fucking believe that y/n?" xiaoting muttered, her voice vibrating through the wooden table, her voice muffled by her arms before she looked up, face deep red as she held back tears.


"yurina... the best ex-girlfriend i ever had— she's— she's fucking engaged!" xiaoting yelled before slamming her head on the table, with y/n having to hold the edges in order for it not to fall. y/n sighed as she heard xiaoting cursed under her breath non-stop.


"fuck whoever her fiancé is, fuck that guy or whoever that asshole is." xiaoting whispered, before chugging a bottle of beer, feeling her throat burn in hell.


y/n leaned on her seat, pouring herself a glass of beer while nodding. "yeah, fuck him. that's probably why mashiro wasn't in her apartment today, yeseo said something like celebrating shit with yurina." y/n stated, shaking her head before drinking the glass of beer in her hand.


they've been in here for almost 2 hours, the place she and xiaoting liked to go when they get the urge to drink. xiaoting takes her cellphone once again, seeing 3 miss calls at 2am, she sighed and facepalmed.


"what's it? miss calls?" y/n asked, watching as xiaoting brushes her hair with her hand and nodding. "yeah, i didn't hear it, i'm going to be late for work again geez." xiaoting chuckled before placing the phone on the table.


the time felt like it disappeared, y/n watches as xiaoting continued to grieve over the lost of a great girlfriend, xiaoting wiped the small prickling tears in the corner of her eyes as she laughed.


"i can't wait, i really gotta change already for the better." she muttered, making an eye contact with y/n who seemed occupied with her own thoughts.


"it's hard to be lonely right?" xiaoting whispered.


°°°°°°°°


3pm, y/n decided to visit mashiro's apartment once again, ringing the doorbell once, and just in a matter of seconds the door opened and there stood mashiro. their eyes met, and from a welcoming one, mashiro's eyes turns in pure hesitant in the sight of y/n, who stood in front of her and holding flowers.


y/n looks at mashiro, sincerity in her eyes as she stretched out her arm to give the flowers to mashiro, who ended up looking at it before looking back at y/n with a small frown.


"what do you want y/n?" she asked, her voice dipped in poison, her voice finding the right words to say. y/n sighed, blinking before leaning in the door to look at mashiro. "look, i'm so sorry for being a jerk to you mashiro...  and i'm trying to make it up to you." y/n pleaded, her voice in a hush.


mashiro looked away, scoffing. "i don't know why you're still trying to make wrong things right, first— xiaoting being a jerk to yurina and now you. no wonder you're friends." mashiro gritted through her teeth as she tried to close the door but y/n's hands prevented it from happening.


"xiaoting and yurina has nothing to do with us! just please listen to me, i'm saying sorry to you as soon as possible so i can fix things again, because i don't like the idea of us not being okay." y/n explained, pushing the door open and holding mashiro's hands while dropping the flowers on the floor.


"what do you know about saying sorry?" mashiro muttered, trying to pull her hands but y/n was a lot stronger.


"come on, i know nothing yeah but i'm trying to do my best here... won't you just listen to me? so we can finally fix this." y/n stated firmly like the hold she had on mashiro's hands, scared of letting her go.


mashiro looked at y/n, breathing heavily, contemplating different decisions at once as she felt the hold on her softens and y/n rubbed her thumbs on mashiro's skin.


after some seconds, mashiro closed her eyes and stared at y/n. "alright, how about we talk about this in my apartment." she finally stated.


°°°°°°°


"why are you even being a jerk towards yurina's fiancé in the first place?" mashiro asked, facing y/n as soon as they entered the living room, y/n sighed. "let's not talk about them okay? i want to talk about us." y/n husked, walking closer towards mashiro while the other is glued on the floor, breathing heavy under the bright light of the room.


white noises from the empty room as mashiro and y/n stared at each other before mashiro gulped and looked away with flushed cheeks. "b-but... yurina's a friend of mine and i care about what's up with her li—" before even mashiro could finish y/n spoke.


"mashiro i know that, and i'm the same with xiaoting, so until we're not okay i'm never gonna stop." y/n countered, her hands held high snd she shrugged, before putting her hands down and her side and glancing away for a moment.


mashiro was silent and the same was y/n but y/n huffed and held mashiro's shoulders, caressing her. "mashiro i love you and i want to know if you love me too, i don't want to talk about anything that's not us... i don't want to think about anything unless it's you." y/n said, watching every expression that mashiro shows.


"sorry if i talk to much about trivial things..." mashiro muttered, pushing back a strand of her hair behind her ears. "i just can't help it, i worry about too much but i... love you too of course that's why i get so nerved out when you act like a jerk." mashiro answered, her face red and it suddenly feels warm, y/n aching to feel mashiro in her arms.


"shit, if that's the case then alright, i'll try to stop being a jerk... just so that i'll have you with me always. let's just make up already." y/n whispered leaning in mashiro's ear, her warm breath hitting mashiro's cheek and she shivered.


"right, that's what you always say..." mashiro whispered back, her hands placed on y/n's upper chest, fiddling with the collar of her dress shirt.


y/n's hands graced on mashiro's thin waist, locking her up in that place as she embraced her.


"yeah? and i will always say it as long as you like it." y/n whispered, lips brushing on mashiro's earlobe, caressing her waist firmly. mashiro looked at y/n and they held a small staring contest before they leaned in for kiss.


citrus scent engulfs mashiro's nose as y/n gets closer to her until their lips touched, her grip on y/n's collar getting tighter and she feels her body warm up.


a muffled moan escapes her lip as she felt the sudden pressure of y/n's lips in hers.


they pulled away from each other, breathless. y/n tilts her head with a smile, feeling the grip on her collar soften.


"i love you." she whispered. mashiro blinks, still trying to chase her breath that y/n took away. "you... y/n, i love you too." she whispered back.


mashiro pulled y/n from her collar for another kiss, now pouring all the passion and love to the kiss, not minding the anger that died down inside her heart and pushed away to the back of her mind.


mashiro pulled away, her breath ragged, trying to find words to say as she chuckled under her breath. "i hate you so much." she whispered before holding y/n hand. "hey where are you going to take me?" y/n asked, huffing as she fixed her collar.


mashiro's back slams softly against the door of her room, her other hand falling in the knob of the door. "stop asking questions and just—" mashiro's breath was sharp as she tried to look for the right words and find her breath.


"just get in the room with me." she continued, turning the knob open.


worries, anger, problems pushed behind their minds and left behind the door as they entered mashiro's room, letting actions speak for themselves.

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