| i bet on losing dogs

ʕ´•ᴥ•'ʔ

my baby, my baby, my baby.....

yoon jia was eliminated.

y/n felt sad to hear it, she's been the first person to root for her even before everything started, she had no doubts and bet her everything because she trusted jia so much, and wanted jia to get what she really deserved, but maybe it might not be the right moment for her.

but that moment, before y/n knew, she's betting her all even when she knew and saw what was bound to happen, she acted blind, because she was scared jia would know and think she doubted her.

i never doubted you.

from the day we met, from the day we talked, from the day you told me about your dreams, from the day you left me to achieve your dreams, from that day you were happy with another person.

y/n never doubted jia.

and maybe, it was just her, but no matter what happens, if jia comes back with a frown, tears or a smile— y/n hopes jia knows she's proud. jia was quiet, lonesome, brave, talented and a little scary, there might be those times y/n felt like she wasn't needed, but she never backed away, because she always wanted to be there.

y/n bets, jia must be disappointed to herself, but she hopes jia knows she wasn't, she always watched jia with all happiness, always had her eyes on her, voted, supported, yelled her name, jumped for her.

y/n acted blind, everyone was so convinced jia wouldn't make it, but because she didn't care not wanted to care, she closed her eyes and ears, as she bets everything she had on losing dogs, even when she knows what place it might take her— no i don't care, if that's the only way i could prove my love for her.

"i auditioned for girls planet 999." from the day jia stated those words with pride, huffed chest, glinting eyes and furrowed brows— y/n was scared her heart sank, but she laughed, smiled and jumped, mumbling good lucks and cheers for jia.

it must have been hard for y/n, it was selfish, to ever think of being scared jia might make it and leave her behind— what if jia makes it and she wouldn't need me anymore?

that selfish thought ate y/n alive for so many days, there was guilt, sadness, but she ignored all of those for the sake of being a good friend and a good admirer— because what if jia doesn't feel the same?

y/n wished jia would be able to hold onto her feelings, because y/n actually gave up wishing for jia when she knew she had no chances.

when she saw jia's performance— she was happy, cheered for her, she watched and watched just to be able to see a glimpse of jia even in a small seconds.

she dedicated everything because she bet jia would make it— when jia lost in the first mission, y/n was sad, but she was happy her dedication made jia survive the first elimination.

the second mission she sees jia struggling a bit, but she had faith on her as she cheered and saw it with her two eyes how jia's team won.

and now she's just waiting to see jia— but she doesn't know what will happen, y/n was scared, afraid and didn't know how to approach jia after the elimination. jia must be upset, and knowing that, y/n was scared she might be a big burden.

i know you worked hard,

everybody knows it.

i love to see you enjoying yourself and being happy,

i want you to be proud of yourself,

because i am proud of you.

just as many people are.

"jia." y/n muttered, her eyes shaking as she didn't know whether to look at jia or not.

because i'm still guilty i doubted you,

i'm still guilty i liked you.

i'm still guilty that i bet on losing dogs when i knew what it would lead us—

because i love you.

and it was bad that i do, and you don't.

you're upset? i understand.

"yes?" jia replied, looking up to meet y/n's eyes. the glint, the last time y/n had an eye contact with the same eyes, there was fire, pride and courage— but seeing it again after what happened, there was only sadness and immense disappoinment.

if i only did my best, you would've made it there.

if only i gave more and more— you would've reached your dreams.

sorry, i didn't do better for you.

jia, you deserved better.

"i'm so proud of you—" y/n choked on her words, scared she might click something inside of jia and burst her bubble.

jia was upset and disappointed of herself, she knew she could've shown better, was her dedication for her dream not enough?

she was guilty, because she knew starting from the say she met y/n, she already believed on her like no one else did— she cheered, and knowing y/n must have gave her all for jia— it made jia more upset.

i don't deserve you,

you're too good for someone like me.

i know you believed and never doubted me, i'm sorry i failed.

jia looked down on her lap, she didn't have any appetite to eat the cake y/n got for her as a congratulations for her hardwork— jia thought it was so much, too much.

"thanks, sorry if i let you down." jia mumbled, y/n frowned, sighing as she shook her head and lets out a small smile to comfort jia. "jia, you did your best! i'm sorry i wasn't able to give my all to support you just as much as i promised." y/n apologized, jia thought, it was pathetic, she was pathetic.

i should be the one apologizing.

"i raised your expectations so much, but i ended up tripping down on my own words." jia muttered, hissing as she thought of those times her heart was filled with pride and flames, ready to conquer her dreams.

but when she was there, the walls felt so high, she couldn't reach it.

jia slowly glanced up towards y/n to see her looking away with sadness.

"i know you never doubted me." as soon as y/n heard that, her heart was swarmed by butterflies— she had her eyes wide open, lips quivering as she heard jia's words of appreciation.

"that's why when i realized i had to come home facing you after that— i felt ashamed, starting from the day i told you what i wanted to do, you were already rooting for me." jia was never open with her feelings, she was timid and wanted to be left alone.

but here she was thanking a person.

"i wanted to prove myself to you." jia continued, sighing as she formed her fist into a ball, slowly letting out the words hidden inside her heart. "and it's ashame i wasn't to prove that much."

y/n shook her head, waking up to her senses, jia, knows, jia understands.

"o-of course, i am rooting for you! jia! i know y-your capabilities!" feeling like she wanted to cry, y/n yelled on top of her lungs, gripping her chest, scared her heart might fall.

"and i'm sorry my support wasn't enough to get you there! sorry if i was so scared you'll leave me..." biting her bottom lip, y/n cried out like a child, her head facing away from jia, the worries she had thinking about how jia was doing— if jia was tired, was she sleeping properly? did jia eat properly?

every night, her mind is filled of jia and jia alone.

now she sees jia in front of her, y/n is happy and complete.

"i won't..." jia mumbled, leaning in to rub y/n's eyes and cupping her cheeks. "look, thanks for all the things you did for me okay? why would i just forget you after all the things you did for me?" jia sighed, as she pulled y/n in a hug.

"i was worried for you." hearing that, jia hummed.

"i am fine, and you don't have to worry anymore." jia whispered, as she felt an embrace coming from y/n who was still sobbing non-stop.

it might not be the right time for jia, but having to know how much y/n cares for her gave jia happiness she didn't expect to feel.

because in the end she always needed y/n's support and love.