| close as strangers

"hiyyih! come on let's go!" yeseo yelled from the other side of the hallway as she slung her bag on her shoulders watching as bahiyyih looked back to their classroom and back to yeseo, pulling out an apologetic smile. "uhm, can you wait for me for a bit, i forgot something inside our classroom." bahiyyih stated, before moving ahead to their classroom, leaving yeseo standing alone in the middle of the hallway.

bahiyyih opened the sliding door, entering inside and looking at her desk to look for a textbook she had forgotten. looking underneath the wooden desk, she slid her hand to reach for the textbook, her first attempt being successful.

bahiyyih shrieked in surprise as she heard the door open, she looked back and saw a person in the doorway, back turned to her as they close the other sliding door before facing bahiyyih.

y/n stood there, stiff as she makes an eye contact with bahiyyih, seeing the girl straighten her posture with a textbook on her hand.

"oh, hey i didn't notice you there." y/n stated, her gaze falling somewhere else, the gesture made bahiyyih's stomach flip, there was no reason for y/n to be uncomfortable with her really, and it kinda hurt y/n can't bear looking at her.

is there something wrong with her? bahiyyih asked herself.

y/n once again looked up, meeting bahiyyih's pair of eyes before gulping and opening the door.

"uh, yeah, sorry for closing the door." she stated, pushing the sliding door open as she moved aside to make way for bahiyyih.

bahiyyih stared at her, the book in her hands, looking for words to say but thoughts occupied her mind afraid she'll throw y/n off.

so she sighed and shook her head. "er, no. it's okay, i just got back to get my textbook." bahiyyih replied, hesitating to do something yet she stepped further and took a deep breath before moving along and leaving the room.

y/n stood there, holding on the door, watching as bahiyyih took her way and left, her presence turns into a small dot each step she takes farther away.

time's wasted, each day y/n ignores her feelings for bahiyyih the stronger she feels for the latter and she's slowly losing her chance without her realizing it- that every single day bahiyyih gets farther away from her.

in almost thousand faces she's seen, bahiyyih was the first she's cared for, but slowly, she's losing her in those thousand faces too.

y/n ignores the sharp pain in her chest as she faced away from the hallway and closed the door of the room again, getting into her assigned work to clean the room.

°°°°°°

seo y/n

january 2022.

do we have upcoming quiz
tomorrow?
seen.

sorry for bothering you,
i was sick today and had
to absent.
seen.

it's cool.
received.

and no, we don't have
upcoming quizzes tomorrow.
received.

ooh, okay. thanks.
seen.

no problem.
received.

bahiyyih stares at her phone, laying on her bed as she reads through the messages she shared with y/n and now she realized something- she was never close to y/n and was nothing to her other than a classmate (to her that's the case).

and she feels like they're as close as strangers to each other.

their last message being in the first week of january and nothing else after that... complete crickets. there's always 1 month or more gap in their messages that proved they were nothing more than classmates.

bahiyyih doesn't know what to feel so she lies on the bed, thoughts running wild inside her head while she held her phone and turned it off, sighing.

later, that time when y/n couldn't look at her in the eyes, it hurt a lot, bahiyyih won't lie, it was probably just her but the thought that y/n doesn't like her around gets to her all the time, she wants y/n to be able to look at her in the eyes, talk to her or even smile and it seems impossible.

every time she walks away from y/n is another chance lost and wasted.

y/n looks down on her phone laying flat on the surface of her desk, bahiyyih's contact id plastered on the screen on her phone, waiting to be touched, it looked so tempting, hypnotizing? y/n wanted to message her but she was so scared to do so.

pure cowardice as she thinks of herself.

but she can't blame herself, there's so many fishes in the ocean why would bahiyyih care about her?

y/n shook her head, no this isn't seriously about bahiyyih or her, this is about bahiyyih's diary displayed somewhere in their school that y/n once noticed that was missing but cannot be seen in the lost and found section of their school.

y/n took it home so she could give it back and she wanted to let bahiyyih know but even at the thought of messaging bahiyyih scared her.

y/n blinks, facing the monitor of her computer as she entertained herself, brushing off the thought.

and of course- guilt ate her up and she picked up phone to message bahiyyih.

huening bahiyyih.

uh hey.
sent.

sorry to bother you but
i think i found your diary.
sent.

you were looking for it right?
sent.

y/n placed her phone back on her desk, before burying her face on her palms, sighing as she tried to calm herself.

shit, why the fuck am i even reacting like this? y/n wondered.

her phone vibrated on the surface of her desk, she looked at her phone to see messages from bahiyyih.

huening bahiyyih.

oh right!
received.

how did you find it?
received.

please don't read it!
received.

don't worry i didn't,
promise.
seen.

but i checked it out to
make sure it's yours.
seen.

how? how did you check
it out?
received.

well, i looked for your name.
seen.

yeah, i did write it there.
received.

thanks, i've been looking
for it for 4 days already.
received.

yeah, no problem.
just saw it around school.
seen.

i'll give it to you tomorrow.
seen.

uhm, do you mind giving
it to me after class?
received.

okay, but why though?
seen.

i don't want anyone to
know i have that diary...
received.

no one knows about that
except for my friends.
received.

so i was wondering how
you knew it was mine.
received.

well... i just happen to see
it around you before so...
seen.

thanks, i'll take it tomorrow.
received.

y/n placed her phone on her desk, face red as she realized that to how much she's observed or stare at bahiyyih during class- she knew everything about her and it was weird she had never realized it until now, even her secret diary that she only takes out when everyone is busy in their classroom.

how did she know?

°°°°°°

y/n entered the classroom, closing the door carefully as she entered inside the bustling room full of students, taking her seat at the back of the class near the row of lockers, placing her bag down.

her eyes fell towards the familiar girl from a few seats away, talking to her friends... kang yeseo and ezaki hikaru? yeah right, them.

suddenly feeling herself staring for too long, her face warming up- y/n decided to look away in realization as she cursed under her breath out of embarrassment.

as y/n looks away, yeseo and ezaki gets lost in their own little argument, bahiyyih laughs before looking behind to find y/n looking at her desk and nothing else, a hand placed on her forehead as if she's thinking of something deep.

a warm feeling grows inside bahiyyih chest curious about what's inside y/n's head before facing her friends again as the door opened and there comes ms. hwang entering then everyone sat at their own seats.

°°°°°

after classes, y/n stands in the other side of the hallways a sea of students passing by, meanwhile bahiyyih stood in the other end of the hallways, watching as y/n appears and disappears from the sea of crowd passing by each end of the hallways, when she blinked, she was gone.

bahiyyih realized as she bumped with a person walking past her, muttering a simple sorry as they disappear from the crowd.

the sea of students finally disappears after a minute or two, bahiyyih decided to start walking her way in the back of the school, rushing as her feet thumped the ground violently.

exiting the school building and making her way near the maintenance area of the school, she saw the familiar figure of a girl standing nearby.

"y/n!" she called, making the other girl turn around the diary she owned in her hands, her steps soon slowed down as she reached the maintenance area of the school, standing in front of y/n.

y/n looked at her diary before stretching her arms to give the diary, a neutral expression plastered in her soft face, bahiyyih suddenly felt hesitant with the idea of taking the diary- but she knew it was the reason y/n was there in front of her, so she took it.

"uhm, yeah i'll go now." y/n muttered under her breath before taking hesitant little steps, bahiyyih faced her back, as took a sharp breath. "ah! y/n, thanks for giving this back to me and for not reading it... it really means a lot to me so thanks y/n." bahiyyih's voice was soft as it comes off as a whisper in the end of her sentence, her lips curving into a small smile.

y/n turned around to her and nodded, smiling back. "no problem, i just did what i think i should do." she replied before walking away and waving her hand.

bahiyyih stood there, with her diary now in her hands, watching as y/n disappears behind the walls of the school when she entered.

now that she brought her mind back to her current state, the sky looks darker than it was before, it seems like it's going to rain and she hadn't realized it until a small drop fell in her cheek.

she dashed inside the school building with her diary in her hands.

°°°°°°°

"do you think bahiyyih has already gone home?" rei asked, looking over her friend who was staring far off the distance inside the building just a few meters away from the main exit, seeing as the rain was starting to pour harder.

y/n shifted her gaze to her friend and jiwon beside her, shrugging. "i don't know too- i kinda left her in the maintenance area after i gave her the diary..." y/n responded, before staring back at the exit.

jiwon and rei looked at each other, sharing the same thoughts and questions.

"are you still going to wait for mr. im to get the papers?" jiwon asked. y/n- without facing the blonde girl hummed. "i guess, if he hasn't showed up i guess i'm leaving, he'll probably know why." she answered, eyes fixated as if waiting for something.

jiwon nodded. "you won't need us here anymore?" she added. y/n bobbed her head, turning her body to face the pair. "yeah, you guys can leave now, thanks for accompanying me here, i'll message you guys later." she cracked a small smile.

the pair looked at each other before waving their hands. "ok, bye y/n tale care!" rei walked off besides jiwon, with y/n waving her hand back. "i will, take care too. bye." she replied.

y/n stood there for some minutes, watching as the pair exits with their umbrellas.

the building felt quiet filled only with the noise of the raindrops outside, feeling bored, y/n looked around, looking for any signs of person or mr. im, but no, there wasn't anything other than a stray cat passing by.

not until y/n hears a pair of shoes running around and she turns her head just to see bahiyyih rushing to the exit of the school and stopping midway as she noticed it was raining harder than she expected.

y/n watched from afar, looking at her bag as she looked for her umbrella before approaching bahiyyih.

"bahiyyih." she called, making the other girl turn around.

y/n met bahiyyih's eyes under the dim light of the school as the sky starts turning darker. bahiyyih blinked, confused as she watched y/n come closer. "hey, did you bring your umbrella?" y/n asked, her eyes shining bright in the darkness of the sky.

bahiyyih opens her mouth but words found it hard to speak themselves.

"y-yeah, it just left my mind." she answered, looking away.

y/n smiled, she smiled.

"do you want me to accompany you to the bus station while the rain is pouring? or i'll let you borrow mine." she inquired, her voice genuine as words roll out of her mouth, dipped in sweet honey.

bahiyyih looked at her, thinking. "if i borrow your umbrella how are you going home?" bahiyyih asked. "well... i'll wait till it stops, don't worry i'm still waiting for mr. im." y/n quickly replied.

bahiyyih nodded, muttering a small 'uhm' between her breath before replying.

"mr. im already left, i think it'll be too harsh to leave you here while the rain is pouring, so i think we..." bahiyyih's voice trailed, her ears turning pink as she tried to find the right words.

"we should go to bus stop together and wait in the shed?" y/n continued her sentence.

bahiyyih nodded.

y/n opened the umbrella, raising her hand and making sure the two of them are inside the small shed.

bahiyyih started walking, her shoes stepping in the puddle of the rain as they rushed outside the school building, passing by other buildings near their school, bahiyyih hadn't realized that she's starting to walk a little fast until a hand placed itself in her shoulder, looking up she sees y/n looking straight to the road, face red.

bahiyyih felt her ears warm up at the feeling.

"careful, it's slippery." y/n muttered.

they then reached the small shed provided by the bus stop, y/n lets go of bahiyyih and closed the umbrella.

bahiyyih knew she missed the first bus to their house, so did y/n, so they wait a little more.

it was silent, none of the girls decided to start any conversation and it made bahiyyih uncomfortable for some reason.

"thanks, y/n." bahiyyih looked at the girl beside her, seeing as she's focused somewhere else. y/n turned her head to her, her face still red, she nodded before pursing her lips and looking away, a fake cough comes out.

"hmm, it's nothing. no need to thank me." y/n released a sheepish laugh.

"no really, thanks, you're always so nice to me and ready to help. i hope i can give back the same to you someday." bahiyyih insisted, seeing as y/n's eyes becomes shifty.

y/n looked down, chuckling under her breath. "it's really alright, i'm fine with just doing things, it's nothing special besides i'm fine seeing you fine. that's all." y/n realized her words as she looked at bahiyyih and blinked. "i- i mean, i'm really alright, it's cool helping out." y/n released a nervous laugh, brushing off the loud heartbeat that thumped inside her ears.

bahiyyih smiled. "i hope i can be... nice to you too. if you'll let me." bahiyyih muttered, laughing to herself.

sounds of a vehicle stopping in front of them made the two girls look up, the bus to bahiyyih's destination.

bahiyyih looked at y/n waving her hand as she waved. "bye y/n." she bid, entering the bus and y/n watches the girl enter, raising her hand as she waved back.

"bye, take care." she muttered under her breath as the bus finally accelerates through the gray and wet pavement.

as the bus disappears from her view, y/n stood there, thinking about the moments from today, suddenly feeling something missing from her, she smiled, shaking off the sadness of missing someone just after they've left.

maybe it isn't the last, maybe it isn't too late...

if y/n takes a step further and closer, maybe she can make a progress...

y/n straightened her back at the thought, before bursting into a fit of laughter, her face warm and red at the memory from earlier.