| sigh

"hayoung, you're such a messy eater." y/n stated, wiping hayoung's cheeks as the other girl ate watermelon in the messiest way as possible.

"sorry it just taste good." hayoung answered, even when her mouth was still full, not even waiting to swallow the watermelon.

y/n sighed and chuckled, shaking her head as she smiled.

"next time swallow the food first, hayoung." y/n as she ate her piece of watermelon, munching it slowly to avoid making a mess.

hayoung nodded, eyes glinting at her lover who continued to eat slowly.

she wondered,

how much patient does y/n have to stay this long with her?

"hayoung, wake up, it's already late." hayoung felt a soft shake on her body as she was waken up from the bed.

opening her eyes, the first thing she sees was y/n.

"it's already 9 am, do you have plans to wake up?" y/n asked, concerned.

hayoung immediately sat up, rubbing her eyes as she smiled sheepishly at her girlfriend.

"y/n~ sorry! i just slept too good." hayoung stated followed by a yawn.

there she heard another sigh and a laugh from the other girl.

"okay, next time use the alarm, i've already made a breakfast."

y/n has done a lot for her, so many things and in return,

hayoung felt like she couldn't do enough.

and it bothered her to sleep, when she wakes up, when she faces y/n.

has y/n developed resentment against her?

"where are you?" hayoung could not hear anything from the other line except for y/n's voice it was silent.

the firmness and lowness of y/n's voice concerned hayoung a lot.

was there something wrong?

hayoung took an overtime on work today, hoping she could return something back to y/n as soon as she got the pay.

but she forgot to tell y/n that she's be coming home late.

maybe y/n is worried?

hayoung could never read the emotion on her voice from the other line.

"just arrived at the train station, don't worry i'll get there as soon as possible." hayoung stated, smiling even when she knows y/n wouldn't see it.

she was tired.

very tired.

yet she heard a sigh from the other side,

not the typical one where she would later then add a laugh, y/n just sighed.

hayoung felt her world stop, her heart was beating fast, she was suddenly anxious.

she didn't even hear the train stop, not until she was pushed back into the reality when the train opened.

carrying the burden in her chest, hayoung entered.

the train was silent, she was the only one inside, her hands were shaking, the cold temperature in the middle of the night didn't help at all, she was practically shivering.

and for some reason, hayoung couldn't put her thoughts into once piece, it was all over her brain, she didn't know what to think or what to say.

just hearing the lone sigh from y/n, she felt anxious, scared, afraid that her biggest fear might come true.

what it y/n gets tired of me?

hayoung tried, tried her best to clutch her phone on her hand only for it fo fall and she had to pick it up once again and take a hold on it.

out of the sudden tears started prickling at the edge of hayoung's eyes as her thoughts began to jumble up.

hayoung didn't know, she couldn't understand.

it was just a sigh, y/n didn't laugh, didn't add any other thing.

she just, she just hung up after that

and hayoung feared she might have done something wrong.

trying to collect herself all together, hayoung wiped her tears and held her phone to her face.

opening it, her eyes landed on a notification that had been there for almost, the start of the day, but unfortunately got ignored.

me and y/n's anniversary!

lowering her phone, hayoung grumbled under her breath, unintentionally cursing.

"no way i forgot." she muttered.

everything came crashing down at her as she suddenly felt the heavy feeling in her chest slowly seeping in.

then the train stopped.

hayoung decided to take a cab to her and y/n's apartment, hoping she would still be awake once she arrived.

the night suddenly felt so lonely, it was cold, and even with how many people she sees at this hour late at night, she still felt lonely.

there was a big hole inside her heart, a heavy feeling in her chest and a burden in her shoulders.

suddenly, she felt guilty.

hayoung felt like she wasn't doing enough, for her, and for y/n.

because she tried.

she tried and ended up failing the most simple of all simple things.

and she didn't know how to fix it.

arriving at the apartment complex building, hayoung trudge slowly at the empty hallways to the door of their shared apartment.

for some reason, when hayoung took a hold of the doorknob, she couldn't bring herself to twist it open and enter inside.

after taking a deep breath, collecting all the courage.

she finally opened the door to be greeted with a dark living room.

y/n was nowhere to be seen, hayoung felt her heart race, her mind go frenzy as she opened the light, to be greeted with nothingness.

the apartment was empty.

placing her things at the couch, she looked for any signs of y/n, she went for the kitchen, dinner was present on the table.

hayoung had found a cake on the refrigerator, it was for their anniversary.

and looking at it, added guilt in the stack of guilt.

it was non-stop.

a spiraling feeling of anger towards herself.

so hayoung entered their shared room, only to witness not even a single presence of y/n inside.

then it all hit her.

"where is she?" hayoung grumbled, slowly feeling frustration and sadness.

her eyes felt watery.

hayoung slowly trudged on the room, reaching their shared bed as she sat down, hand resting on her forehead as she thinks.

every thoughts swirled like a tornado inside her brain, she was worried.

she had no any idea where y/n is.

"this is all my fault." hayoung muttered, tears started to prickle slowly as her face got wet with her own tears.

if only she cared enough, if only she knew.

y/n wouldn't be so tired.

why was she so selfish?

hayoung hated herself.

"what am i going to do now?"

as she thinks about whatever was about to happen tomorrow, next day, another day.

she needs y/n back.

and it sucks, sucks because she didn't how.

will y/n even come back herself?

because everytime hayoung thinks about every possiblities, it made her go crazy.

hayoung does not even know where y/n is.

this is all her fault.

if only i didn't let that resentment grow...