| half-hearted

"gosh, our debut is getting nearer! do you think we'll meet ive in one of our performances?" youngeun stretches her arms as she laid on the bed of their dorm, sitting on the same bed was bahiyyih, fiddling with her phone. bahiyyih held her phone down, speaking.

"probably, but i wish we can." she said before going back to fiddling her phone, yeseo stood by the other bed, folding her clothes as she thinks to herself.

ive, huh? now that yeseo thinks about it, one of their members seems oddly familiar to her, y/n? that name, even how she looked like, it looks so familiar, and it was tattooed on her mind the whole day.

she wasn't able to stop thinking about her.

"hey, yeseo! you think we'll see them or at least talk to them? oh imagine being able to talk to ahn yujin and jang wonyoung! ahhh i could only dream." youngeun sighed dreamily, laying flat on the bed and cooing to herself.

yeseo shook herself to the present as she looked behind and thought of an answer before speaking.

"chances are that to happen, we will debut in the same month right? but i really don't think so." yeseo replied, before moving to the other bed and laying down.

youngeun pouted. "you guys are a bit pessimists, i could only hope!"

bahiyyih laughed before placing her phone on her lap and looking at youngeun. "we do have a chance on talking to jang wonyoung and ahn yujin, they are mcs right?" she stated, tilting her head.

youngeun chuckled, scratching her cheek sheepishly. "oh yeah, you're right. i kind of forgot." youngeun sheepishly stated, yawning and then closing her eyes.

yeseo laid on the bed, her eyes averting to the white ceiling as the lights shine upon her being, and she pondered upon seeing l/n y/n somewhere or meeting her once, because her instincts were telling her that this girl was familiar to her and she was itching to talk to her.

it seems like fate made her wish come true, jang wonyoung was absent due to a very busy individual schedule and she was to be replaced by a co-member as a surprise mc, y/n.

yeseo didn't know whether to thank the gods or to regret because now she feels so tensed being in front of y/n.

and for sure y/n doesn't know her personally... right?

"and of course congratulations to the global girl group kep1er for their fantastic debut yay!" y/n swiftly stated, as if she was used to mc-ing like this, clapping her hands along with the mic and a small cardboard cut in her hands.

beside her was sunghoon, wonyoung's mc partner, who also clapped and cheered, though he was more gentle than y/n was.

y/n was natural, she never looked tense or worried, not even nervous, that her energy swiftly makes yeseo shiver.

now she understands what it feels not being able to take her eyes away from an mc.

"what should we expect with their performance, hmm... i wonder what they'll show us, can you give us a small hint?" sunghoon stated, heaving a small smile towards the girls, though y/n wasn't the one speaking, yeseo looked at her like she was the one who asked the question.

while the other members talk, yeseo listened, gradually eyeing others while she steal small glances at y/n.

and as she did so, y/n looked at her too, and she

she did it,

she goddamn smiled at yeseo, before looking away and facing the camera as if nothing happened.

yeseo feels a heat creep up on her cheeks as their group made their exit and y/n and sunghoon continued their job.

after their performance, they were given a break time to rest, and thank goodness she gets a time to collect herself together so she went out and found a place to take a deep breath.

but it seems like y/n didn't want her to do so.

"hey, you good there?" and then yeseo hears the obnoxiously familiar cheerful voice calling out to her, so she faced behind and saw y/n, still wearing the same outfit, holding out a small placard of her script, her expression in a mischievous smile.

now yeseo understands why she's in the same group as ahn yujin.

yeseo opens her mouth, then closed it again, thinking of a thing to say as heat climbs its way up to her cheeks and she flushes red.

"u-uh, yeah just taking a deep breath." yeseo answered, her lips turning into a thin line as she sways her body nervously.

the much taller girl chuckled, her voice tender and coated with sugar.

"that's good to know, you looked so stiff during the interview, thought miss little sunbaenim was struggling with cameras." y/n jokingly stated, ending her sentence with a small laugh.

yeseo blushed at the confidence and at the nickname given to her. "what did you just call me?" yeseo asked defensively, only to receive a half-hearted laugh.

"that was a joke of course. i'm l/n y/n by the way, member of ive." y/n introduced herself, to yeseo's confusion and extended her hand for yeseo to hold and shake.

yeseo looked at y/n's hand to her face. "but i know you already." she stated.

"wouldn't it be rude to not introduce myself personally? my heart is hurting." y/n pouted, before wagging her hand for yeseo to see.

and yeseo took it. "uhm, okay. i'm kang yeseo, it's a pleasure to meet you." yeseo smiled, shaking their hands.

y/n smiled too, a tender one, one that yeseo couldn't read through to see its intention. "it's my pleasure to be graced by your attendance too." y/n was flirty, yeseo had decided.

her words are always coated with sugar too, so dangerous and unhealthy if you intake too much of it.

she doesn't seem to be the person to swallow her own words.

"wow, you seem to not remember me, i'm that girl from your fansign event from when you were still in busters, have you forgotten?" y/n asked mischievously, her lips in a lopsided smirk.

yeseo took a step back, now that she remembers it, she was, y/n introduced herself as a fan of her.

yeseo eyes opened wide, her mouth a agape. "o-of course i do! that's why you're oddly familiar to me." yeseo stated, her index finger on her chin.

"sweet, thought ms. dream girl forgot me, not gonna lie you didn't change a bit but you look more mature now." y/n noted, putting her hands on her waist.

y/n was tall, like heck she was, that's probably why she passed as an ive member, and talented.

yeseo didn't know whether to be intimidated or to think she was pretty.

and also dream girl? when was she addressed that way?

y/n pulls out her phone from the pockets of her outfit, and extending her hand to yeseo.

"wouldn't it be nice if you gave me your phone number, you can have mine in return." y/n winked and yeseo had no choice than to take the phone and type in her number, she pulled out her phone too and passed it to y/n who typed hers too.

"there, nice meeting you. also break time is about to finish, i'll see you next time." y/n waved her hand as she fled the scene.

yeseo doesn't know what will happen in the future.

some days passed and she finally received long awaited message.

*********

hey, this is y/n

nice, congratulations
for the successful debut

here's some cheers for
kep1er:

👏👏🥳🥳🥳 lol

yeseo realized something, that even in text messages, y/n sure is very enthusiastic.

it's not like yeseo wasn't but she was far more gentle.

so she named the contact: y/n :).

y/n :)

oh, thanks for that

congratulations to ive too!

thanks!!

are you busy rn?

hope i'm not disturbing
something there

nope, everything's good

right! 😁

you might not know but
i'm always tuned to your
group's updates

so don't be shocked if i
know most of your schedules

for i am still a yeseo fan!!

yeseo's cheeks flared, of course she knew, but knowing y/n's status now, after a year or two, she was still surprised to be getting such attention from a famous group too.

y/n :)

that's nice

i'm happy to have your support

wow, no need to be formal

we're friends now, right?

of course!

it'll be nice to have a friend too.

great!

i hope we can hang-out like
soon, or next time

yes! i would love too

things went fast, in a span of 1 month and a half, yeseo was now getting used of hanging out with y/n and texting her in her free time, it didn't feel like y/n was a fan of her at all, she liked being there for her and being beside her.

and of course y/n was a big flirt too, but it's not like yeseo minds that, she liked everything about y/n even that part of her.

and everytime with no fail, she'd blush at anytime y/n would tease her or compliment, their little interactions liked every little bit of it.

"yeseo?" a familiar voice of an older member called out to her, yeseo looked up from her phone to see xiaoting looking down at her.

"uh what is it xiaoting-unnie?" yeseo asked, sitting up and placing her phone down, xiaoting looked at her, expressionless, thought it was normal, yeseo couldn't stop but to feel a bit intimidated like xiaoting knew something.

but xiaoting looked away. "nothing, i just thought you weren't paying enough attention, it's dinner already." xiaoting simply stated before leaving the room.

yeseo stared at the door, before mumbling to herself and standing up to make her way outside.

she was greeted by mashiro, then she sat beside the older girl.

"first time being late in dinner, was something bothering you?" mashiro asked, her voice laced in concern. yeseo shook her head, before laughing. "no, not like that, i was just busy with my phone. sorry."

"were you talking to ive's y/n? ha! i knew you were!" youngeun pointed her chopsticks towards yeseo. hikaru looked over ahead, curious.

"wait?! really?" she asked, yeseo shook her head. "yeah, it's not a big deal, we're friends after all." she shrugged, trying to push the topic away.

"you can't just dismiss that, isn't she like flirty and funny? you've been talking to each other for almost 2 months! ha! i know, i know." youngeun proudly says with a smirk.

"youngeun, stop prying over yeseo and her friendship with y/n, isn't that nice?" yujin stated, smiling.

then a month and a half turns into 6 months.

now that yeseo thinks about it again, youngeun was right with assuming her relationship with y/n.

"i think i like you." yeseo muttered as she ate with y/n in a cafe, a spot where no one seems to know them.

y/n grins, and leaned over her palm. "like how? please elaborate." here she goes again, yeseo looks away, her cheeks red as an apple.

"you know? stop playing with me already." yeseo scoffed playfully only for her to get a playful laugh.

"oh, i get it. have you fallen for me? i saw it coming." y/n giggled, yeseo turned her head towards y/n and glared at her.

"oops, just kidding."

"no for seriously, i hate to admit it but yeah, i like you." yeseo pouted.

"i do too, for a while now. i guess since you were in busters, cool right? that's how dedicated i am towards things i like." y/n boastfully said, maybe that pride in her was a flaw but at the same time the thing yeseo loved the most, she knew how to act and speak accordingly.

"but we shouldn't date." y/n firmly stated. yeseo was taken back but didn't show it in her face.

"what do you mean?" yeseo asked, genuinely confused.

"i know you're thinking that yeah we like each other, and should we date?" y/n stated, her voice playful but her words are serious.

"that's how it works, right?" yeseo muttered, looking at her drink.

y/n laughs and shakes her head. "well i guess i can't blame you for that, i like you for a long time yeseo, but i don't have that courage or the right amount of commitment to take this seriously, or to the next level, whatever you call that." y/n paused eyes locking its way to yeseo.

"i don't want to lose feelings, you get it?" y/n continued, and yeseo creased her brows, confused. "what do you mean?" she asked.

"oh, it's just that, i'm in a group, you're in a group, i liked you for a long time and i became an idol to meet you, i chased you for that long y'know? and knowing you like me back, doesn't it take away the thrill of chasing for you? i've accomplished what i wanted, but if i grabbed it wouldn't our group be in stakes?" y/n sighed, leaning on her seat.

"and plus, you're the youngest, we're the same age and i'm part of the youngest too." y/n added.

maybe y/n was right, but half of yeseo was telling her that y/n was playing with her feelings.

she couldn't guarantee if y/n actually liked her.

"lesson learned, never talk to an ive member." youngeun sighed as she played with her milkshake, stirring the straw ever so lightly.

"youngeun, don't say that, i'm sure not everyone of them is y'know?" bahiyyih stated.

youngeun laughed. "i meant, they'll break your heart." youngeun rolled her eyes playfully and looked at yeseo. "it's not rejection." bahiyyih countered.

"but, think about this hiyyih, if you liked someone and wanted to date them but they said no, wouldn't that count as rejection?" youngeun asked, sipping her milkshake.

"but she liked me back, for a long time too." yeseo pouted.

"but she said no when you thought of dating her." youngeun snickered.

bahiyyih thinks. "i don't know what to feel about that, i mean, isn't it a bit to mean to just say you'll lose feelings if you dated the person you like? because you liked them in the first place."

youngeun sighed. "i don't mean to pry, but it feels like she's playing with your feelings, because she knows she can."

yeseo agrees, it's so unfair that when she started feeling something for y/n she'll just drop a no as if it was nothing, it was selfish of her to do that.

but y/n was right, it was a bit hasty of dreaming to date while being in a group and one of the youngest no less.

but bahiyyih and youngeun were right too.

yeseo didn't know what to think.

"happy birthday y/n." yeseo greeted, while they were in a cab together. y/n smiled at yeseo. "thanks, it's great i get to spend it with you too." she stated, the cab stops and they got out together to go to the same cafe they always go to.

"careful, it's cold tonight isn't it?" y/n inquired, her hand finding its way to yeseo's hand, holding it.

they walked around the chilly night, not mindful of their surroundings.

"i wanted to be here with you for your birthday too, though it's very cold." yeseo laughed.

they entered the cafe and as usual they ate and told each other stories of how their work and day went, with yeseo ending up more and more in love with y/n.

the night was great, and yeseo thought nothing wrong would happen, she really thought.

in the morning she was bombarded with the news that multiple netizens were speculating that she and y/n are dating as they were seen together that night celebrating y/n's birthday, only the two of them.

yeseo feels her stomach sink and she got dizzy.

what was happening?

everything was starting to be better.

"yeseo did you saw—"

"yes i did!" she answered, frustrated.

y/n :)

what the hell?

i just saw multiple articles,

our team asked me about it.

yeseo you should talk
to your team already.

what am i going to say?

i don't know what to say y/n...

yeseo, just think of a way out
of this...

you can do it.

how?

i don't know what i'll say.

you don't have to worry about
anything yeseo.

we're not dating right?

just tell them the truth.

okay.

yeseo puts her phone down, sighing.

y/n's right, if it was the truth then she shouldn't be scared right?

it's that easy.

but it's not really.

when will y/n realize it? yeseo thinks it's unfair, it's so unfair for her to feel like this and for y/n to be okay.

it's so easy for her to be okay.

°°°°°°
i hate y/n, but i wrote her.