| this is home

"sorry..." y/n muttered under her breath, incoherent sobs replace her stable breathing as she tried not to scream her lungs out and cry. there were tears forming in the corner of her eyes, begging to be freed.

jiwon stared at the other girl- confused, nervous and anxious. she breathed.

"what? what are you sorry about?" jiwon asked, trying to reach out for the latter but she got rejected, that scared jiwon.

did she do something wrong?

was there a problem?

was she not being nice enough?

jiwon doesn't know.

grumbling, y/n continued to heave soft sobs, trembling.

"i can't be with you..." y/n muttered, biting her bottom lip as she faced anywhere but jiwon.

"you shouldn't be with me..." y/n continued, deciding to wipe the unending streams of tears that kept flowing from her cheeks to her chin.

but all jiwon did was stare, eyes shaking, hands trembling, she had no idea what to say, do or what to react, for some reason she felt her heart torn into pieces.

what does she mean by that?

"but i thought you liked me back?" jiwon asked looking down on her feet, eyes unable to find anything to focus at because her mind was also lost.

she had no words.

as y/n's breath starts catching up, slowly back to being stable, she was still wiping the tears on her eyes as she stared at jiwon.

hiccups.

"j-jiwon."

hiccups.

jiwon looked up to meet y/n's broken ones, there was no light...

only darkness.

jiwon blinked a few times.

"yes?" she replied, she couldn't cry, at all, she tried to smile but it wasn't working, the edge of her lips keep on falling.

y/n laughed, not a happy one, more like an ironic one, an expression of bitterness masked behind an action of happiness.

"i love you." y/n muttered under her palm, audible enough for jiwon to hear.

jiwon was not convinced, and it guilt her.

why was she not convinced?

contented?

"do you really?" jiwon asked, stretching out her arm as she gently placed a hand on y/n head, patting it as gentle as she can,

a simple action of comfort and tranquility.

"because i really love you..." jiwon continued, her fingertips gently brushing the scalp of y/n's hair.

y/n blinked, a few times before placing both her hands on jiwon's shoulder.

"o-of course, but i am scared." y/n responded, her voice light like feather, hoarse. but still, jiwon nodded, a little appreciative.

"i'm happy, but why- why are you even scared?" jiwon asked, voice cracking as she tried to hold on to the last pieces of her sanity. y/n's hold on jiwon's shoulder got tighter, and it hurt to the point jiwon couldn't feel it anymore-

or she just chose to ignore it.

"i don't want to get hurt again." the pain got a little lesser than before but it was still there the aftereffects of y/n's sharp nails digging through the fabrics of jiwon's uniform.

why were they even on the rooftop of their school?

why are they even here instead of attending their class?

jiwon as soon as she saw no presence of y/n, her whole body shook, she was scared.

why was y/n even suffering so much? an innocent girl...

jiwon cared so much, enough to risk almost everything for a girl whose will to live don't even reach half of hers.

it scared her, the thought of y/n leaving her.

so she held tighter.

because she didn't want to let go.

"y/n, you are not gonna get hurt okay?" jiwon whispered, bringing the latter closer to her in an embrace.

humming, jiwon rocked the body beneath her.

it is cloudy today and it's dark in the middle of the day.

"how would i know?" y/n muttered against the fabric of jiwon's dress shirt, her hands holding onto jiwon's shoulder, her chest heaving every breath she takes.

and all she could hear was the fast beating of jiwon's heart.

it comforted her, a lot.

"because i'm here..." jiwon hummed, smiling against the soft locks of y/n hair, letting the girl under her arms as she held her in the waist.

"i will, i could never hurt you." y/n felt safe, maybe, maybe it was just her, but all she wants to do right now is just melt under jiwon's touch and just combust.

"i don't know what to say-" y/n was shushed, a pat on her head.

"it's okay, you don't need to tell me anything." jiwon have prided herself that no matter what happens, the only important thing to live on again and again is having y/n in her arms and hearing her breath stable, seeing her safe.

because if y/n doesn't have a home, she'll be there for her.

no matter what, where, or when.

"it doesn't matter okay? i just want to know that you love me, if not, i will still be here for you." it made y/n feel more happy, relieved, she felt safe and complacent.

because no one could ever make her feel safe the way jiwon does.

it feels good knowing jiwon feels the same.

it was silent, and y/n thanked god it was, all she wanted to hear is jiwon's breath steady and stable with hers, jiwon's heartbeat that sounded so reassuring, her voice as she hums a tune.

closing her eyes, y/n let her weight fall towards jiwon, as let the latter hold her close to her chest.

i wish that you stay here with me a few more times.

jiwon smiled, an actual genuine one.

heaving a dreamy sigh, jiwon held y/n tighter scared she might disappear anytime.