| a stupid me

note: this one is also looooong...

"thanks, please come again next time!" y/n bows in a 90° angle to a customer before lifting her upper body up to face them once again with a small smile. the older woman smiles at her, eyes turning crescent. "thank you y/n, i will come by again next time." the older woman leaves, leaving y/n standing in front of the book shop, hands clasped together as she watches the woman walk away in the bright and crowded street of seoul.

she sighed, looking down on her shoes, before pursing her lips in a thin line and looking up at the dark sky.

time to close the store... i guess.

she heaves a short breathe and enters inside the store, closing the door behind her carefully as she packed up her things and her bag before turning off the lights and everything inside the store, y/n flips the store sign from 'open' to 'close' before exiting the door and locking it.

y/n stood there for a second or two, feeling her throat dry before she started to walk. today was another busy day; ever since she started college, life has never been the same, is it just her? because she had believed that college was fun— according to the books she read and things her aunts had told her.

why is it not the same with her?

when her parents asked her what she wanted in her 18th birthday, y/n asked for her own bookstore— and her parents stared at each other, somehow trying to decipher the decision of their youngest child, although they did agree to the wish.

one of her aunts thought it was such a peculiar decision, after all none in their clan had made such a wishes their whole life— coming from a rich and privileged family, you'd expect the youngest one to wish something more extravagant, but y/n was different, that probably was the reason why she can't find college fun.

yesterday, her older sister told her to start looking for employees who could help her in managing the store.

she remembers when her older sister and her had conversed once after almost one month.

"y/n?" the said girl who was reading inside her room looked up from the book, turning her head to the door of her room, y/n stood up from her chair, walking towards the door of her room to open it and was greeted by her older sister; sakura.

"onee-san... is there something you need?" she asked, her tone was delicate and careful. y/n's eyes met her sister's, seeing a small smile from her sister's lips, y/n felt more at peace. "y/n, i heard that you got your own bookstore last week, how is everything going?" sakura asked.

y/n smiled, a little wider. "oh! everything going great, i was able to find new books and there were people who came by and bought stuff. it was fun, but i felt lonely being alone." y/n responded, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ears, and she sees her older sister nodding her head.

"alright, i'm glad you're enjoying it. but i do hope you hire an employee or two to help you there, it's nice to have some company... yeah?" sakura replied, flicking her doe eyes to her sister's expression.

"oh, right... i do remember father mentioning the same thing but..." y/n places her index finger on her lips, eyes wandering somewhere else as she thinks.

"but?"

y/n looks at her sister's doe eyes and spoke.

"but i don't know how to, i'm new to this."

sakura nodded, crossing her arms on her chest.

"okay, tomorrow i'll make a job hiring poster and something on my website, i'll help you with it."

ah yes, maybe later she's gonna get those posters and put them on the store's glass pane.

but for now, as she walked through the street, she felt her phone vibrating on her pocket. y/n fished it out of her pocket and saw a message from a close friend, haewon.

haewonie <<3

y/nnn!!

hey? are you there???

yes haewon.

is there something you
want to say?

oh yeah!

actually, today one of our
classmates from junior high,

baek jiheon!

messaged me on my insta! 

oh.

what did she say?

hehe, she mentioned
something like a party!

yeah, birthday party?

oh she's planning to hold
a party on her birthday?

yep!

will you come?

cause i will if you do!

you're so cute.

you know you can come
there without me right?

but you're my bestfriend!!!

we should come there together!

you know...

i don't really see a problem on
attending so why not?

maybe i'll come :)).

omggg!!

that's so cool!

alright, we go there together!

are there anyone else attending?

actually...

kazuha and yujin will!!

yujin told me today.

that's great.

y/n felt her stomach do flips when she read that familiar name.

"kazuha..." suddenly, y/n sensed a bitter taste in the tip of her tongue as the name rolls off her mouth. a small frown displayed on her lips and she continued to walk again, passing through stores that are starting to dim out as they close.

the night feels so long again.

"you're gonna look for a job?" yujin asked her friend, as they sat in front of the counter at a ramen restaurant, kazuha taps at the wooden counter, staring at the fizzling soda in a glass, she sighed.

"yeah, goddamn it this college life got hands and is beating the hell out of me right now." kazuha groans, placing her chin on her palm as she pouted, watching the waiter give orders to the customers. yujin laughs, eyes almost closing as she did so.

"why? i thought you didn't want to?" yujin muttered a small thank you as she received her order while kazuha moved from the counter and muttered her thanks to the waiter before she answered yujin. "well, about that— since you've got a job too and i need money i just thought i'd apply for one too. you know it sucks being a freeloader right?"

yujin nodded. "yeah, after all we're already old enough and not in junior high anymore— oh! speaking of junior high, remember our old classmate that i told you?" yujin stated, pointing her chopsticks at kazuha who nodded.

"...yeah? what about it?"

yujin nudged kazuha, earning a groan from the other girl.

"jiheon's inviting us to her birthday party! so are you gonna come or not? come on, just this once before or after you got a job." yujin convinced kazuha, a smile on her lips as her dimples deepens.

"i'm pretty sure she's coming too with haewon, her best friend."

"her..? huh..."

kazuha looked up at the ceiling, recalling events from the past of the same time she was in junior high.

kazuha looked down at the ramen bowl, blinking a few times, for some reason she sees her own reflection from the soup.

suddenly, the memories of those times she used to look forward on another day of seeing the girl she liked, y/n. of course, it's not like it stayed like that forever because why was kazuha so cruel towards the girl? when all she did was be nice and honest?

why was kazuha so ashamed of y/n liking her?

of course, i don't deserve her, that's why.

kazuha remembers when she stood in the middle of the classroom, everyone's eyes on her and y/n as she gripped a letter written by y/n for her, and it reminded her of how she threw everything away aside for her pride even the paper she crumpled in her hands— seeing the tears in y/n's fragile eyes, she regrets everything.

kazuha sighs, slumping her shoulder. "how am i gonna face her?" she asked herself... yet her voice was audible enough for her bestfriend to hear. yujin frowns as she swallowed the food.

"y/n? oh right... i don't really know too." yujin answered.

kazuha places the chopsticks on the counter, slapping her face with both of her hands before rubbing her forehead in distress.

"shit, i feel so ashamed and scared." she muttered.

yujin continued to eat, yet she spoke. "you know... i wonder, why even after all these years it still manage to bother you this much. wasn't it supposed to be just— y'know? puppy love?"

kazuha stared at yujin, feeling her throat suddenly dry.

"because— i... i think i like her, because when that happened i was sure i liked her... so after even a few years it still bothered me 'cause i could've done better than that and not regret it after." kazuha sighed deeply.

yujin stared at her, before she nodded. "i get it, i'm pretty sure it affected you the most— 'cause there's just a chance y/n might have forgotten about it now."

of course, y/n must've moved on already, that shit was so embarrassing and kazuha was so sure y/n hates her now.

kazuha feels sad realizing y/n had forgotten of her already and that stupid feelings she had for kazuha.

although, it still would sadden kazuha to know that y/n still carry the burden in her shoulders.

of how kazuha rejected her in front of everyone out of anger.

she felt another nudge, coming from yujin who just smiled at her. "want a drink?" she asked.

kazuha stared at her before answering. "yeah..."

"that looks perfect, people might see it and think of applying for the job." sakura stated, clasping her hands together. y/n looked at the poster on the glass pane of her shop, wondering if anyone will come by and apply for the job today.

"how many do you think will be enough for this shop?" y/n asked her sister, her gaze falling upon her sister's side profile, before sakura faced her. "oh? maximum of three? you wouldn't really need that much, maybe minimum of two." sakura answered.

y/n nodded, her lips opening slowly. "o-okay, got it."

they once again entered inside with sakura leaving a few stack of papers for the job recruitment so y/n can use it. "here. when someone comes up here for the job, use this to interview them and ask for requirements." sakura added as she fixed stuff up on the small office of the shop.

"okay, should i call you after?" y/n asked. sakura looked up to her and smiled. "alright, if you need help and after you can call me, i'll make sure to answer." sakura responded.

y/n watches as her sister finished. accompanying her outside of the shop before she says goodbye. "okay, that's it for today, take care y/n."

"thank you, i'll do my best today."

y/n fixed some stuffs on the shelves before she walked back to the other side of the shop and heard the small ding on the entrance, she looked up to see someone enter and look around. "uh, hello? how may i help you?" y/n greeted the stranger who turned towards her and bowed.

"good morning, i'm here to apply for a job!"

just like that, they entered in the small office of the shop, with y/n picking up the papers sakura gave her.

"can you introduce yourself first?" y/n asked. the tall girl nodded before clearing her throat. "i'm heo yunjin! also— here's my resume for the job!" she cheerfully answers the question, pulling out an envelope from her arms.

y/n felt overwhelmed, but she was thankful nonetheless. "oh, okay..."

the interview didn't take too long, y/n excused herself to call her sister.

"onee-san." she muttered.

"oh, y/n! has anyone applied yet?" y/n hears a small shuffle from the other line.

"yes, and i've got their resume too, the interview's done and i was thinking if i could send it to you so you can check it out." y/n answered. she looked back to the office and sees yunjin looking around the room while being sat on the chair, their eyes met and she was greeted with a wave and a bright smile from the other girl.

"okay, that's good. i'll check it out for you." sakura excuses herself in the other line.

"thanks, i figured i'll wait for your approval first."

"...i'm glad you trust me. i'll also make sure to ask for your opinion before passing my approval."

y/n stares at the ground, before fiddling with the hem of her skirt, she hummed.

"i think i li— i think she's nice, she's also very... enthusiastic." she muttered.

sakura lets out a small 'oohs'.

"perfect for the job huh? we don't really want anyone gloomy there."

"...i'll send the resume to you, please take your time with it." y/n purses her lips.

"okay, i'll see you later. take care y/n."

the call ends and y/n walked back again to the office, smiling at yunjin.

"please wait for a call to confirm your application, i'll make it as sooner as i can." y/n bows at yunjin, in which yunjin stood up and bowed at her too. "thank you! i'll wait very patiently for it!"

today is a good day.

as soon as she got home, y/n was greeted by her sister who was holding yunjin's resume and she looked at her with a smile on her face.

"you're finally back. here, i just finished checking it." sakura gave y/n the resume, before walking pass the younger one to the kitchen of their house. "what do you think of her?" y/n asked, following along. sakura took a glass of water, placing it on the counter.

"i think she's neat. you should hire her."

y/n's shifts somewhere else then back to her sister, nodding her head. "okay, thanks, i should let her know."

y/n walks to her room, closing it before taking her phone from her bag and dialing yunjin's phone number.

when she hears it ringing, she kind of regretted the decision of calling her instead of texting.

but she heard yunjin pretty voice.

"hello?"

y/n feels her heart stop for a moment before she raised the phone on her ear and answered.

"hi, it's me y/n. i wanted to let you know that you're hired. you can start your job maybe, the next day or if you want—"

before she finished, she heard a shuffle coming from yunjin's line, she assumed it's from a bed or something. "can i start tomorrow?!" yunjin asked.

y/n blinked, before she found the chance to answer.

"okay... you can start tomorrow please be there at 8 am in the morning, i'll let you know more details."

"yes! i'll do my best!" yunjin cheers.

y/n giggled. "alright, let's work together."

kazuha finds herself walking on a crowded road, in the middle of the day, the sun was shining bright and it was cloudy, in her arms she carries an envelope with some of her document as she looked for a vacant job nearby.

she's been walking for almost half an hour, not really long if you ask her. these days finding jobs isn't that easy.

with the proper patience, kazuha strutted her way to the side way, carefully crossing the road.

just as she reaches the other side, she looked up to be greeted with a poster inside on what she assumed as a book store.

job hiring for employees...?

oh shit!

perfect!

kazuha internally cheered and threw a fist bump.

kazuha took a deep breath, prayed that the employer in this book store is nice and not a grumpy old lady. kazuha had mustered all her energy and started to walk and as she pulled the door, she was greeted with a nice smell of new books, on top of her was a bell that rings whenever a customer comes.

her ears were engulfed with soft music ringing around the small shop and chatters coming from the customers around. she sees a tall girl standing just a few shelves away, holding a broom.

kazuha clears her throat.

the tall girl notices her, turned her way and walked. "oh hi there! sorry didn't notice you there, a customer was talking to me."

kazuha nodded, before stretching out her neck as she spotted a small office just around the corner.

"do you know where i can apply for the job here?" kazuha asked, the tall girl— looked at kazuha from head to toe, realizes that this person must be applying for the job based from the casual attire and the envelope in her hands.

"oh yeah! there, on that small office there. i just applied for the job yesterday too and got accepted on the same day..." the tall girl leaned, with the broom on her hands she whispers.

"i'm heo yunjin, don't be nervous the boss is nice and young— although, she looks like a newbie in this thing."

kazuha kept that in mind and nodded, yunjin stepped back, before gesturing her hands.

"come, i'll lead you to the office."

and as they walked, kazuha looked around the store and the intricate design it had, before she noticed yunjin stop walking.

she watched the taller girl lean on the door, before turning her head away to look at the books on the shelves and heard yunjin speak.

"ms. miyawaki, there's someone here who wants to apply for the job." although the mentioned name was familiar, kazuha tried to ignore it.

until,

she looked over the glass pane of the office and saw a familiar face look up from the monitor of the computer.

shit!? is that...?

y/n!?

kazuha, out of instinct, turned her whole body around and acted as if she was checking out of the books.

kazuha hears the click of heels walking towards their direction, her heart started beating so much faster and she felt her breath shake from anxiety.

"hey— are you alright?" she hears yunjin ask.

kazuha nodded, her back facing y/n and yunjin and she answered.

"y— yeah! just checking something out."

yunjin mutters a small 'ooh'.

"okay! i'll leave to assist customers, do your best okay?" after yunjin said that, she sees yunjin walking past her and she was greeted by a sweet and soft scent of strawberries and peach, as kazuha inhaled, she felt her breath hitch.

"uhm, hello? are you alright?"

no— i'm not! fuck it!

and it felt like her worst nightmare had come true to life as she turned her body to face the woman of her dreams and nightmares, her head laying low and her eyes closed.

"...kazuha?"