childe and his trash build broke my crit record again anyways enjoy my professor puppet that yes i actually have and spent $100 on

group: Venti stop changing the group name

xiao.: do you guys ever see something mildly disturbing and think cool. i'm gonna go dissociate now

xiao.: there's a specific term for what i'm thinking of but i forgot it

albedooo: 1. yes. and 2. uncanny valley?

xiao.: that's part of it but also stuff like the walten files

xiao.: the "ashley is still there but she's not screaming anymore" scene in particular had me on edge for an hour

albedooo: understandable

xiao.: i should probably take my meds

xiao.: that was too personal actually can we all do me a favor and ignore that message

albedooo: what message

xiao.: you get me

bostonian: rewatching naruto cuz i hate myself

officiallyfischl: i still think dainsleif sounds like sasuke

voltronsurvivor: of course you return from your hiatus to talk about dainsleif

officiallyfischl: it's what i'm best at

officiallyfischl: anyways i think bennett taught my bird how to curse

imbennett: i don't swear i'm 4

kaeyaalberich: So you're finally accepting it

imbennett: THAT WAS A TEST AND YOU FAILED KAEYA ALBERICH. WELCOME BACK TO BENNETT CLAUS'S NAUGHTY LIST. TOMORROW MORNING 10AM YOU WILL RECEIVE ALOYS FINGERNAILS IN YOUR MAIL.

aloynotahoy: what

aloynotahoy: how would you even get my fingernails im

imbennett: i have connections

ganyu: i'm gonna regret this as per usual but hi guys

aloynotahoy: BENNETT HOW DID YOU GET MY FINGERNAILS

ganyu:

ganyu: all i ask for is one day. not even in my own house can i have a normal day

ssayanfei: spill

ganyu: not going into detail about xiao, hu tao is watching cocomelon in the living room, childe is in the backyard with a bb gun, childe's siblings are here for some reason, and zhongli is calmly sipping tea at the table acting like none of this is happening

bostonian: my guy rex in denial fr

ssayanfei: can u elaborate on childe

ganyu: we have a target don't worry hes not committing murder

xingqiu: why is hu tao watching cocomelon

ganyu: dude idk she's hu tao i don't question this at this point

dain:

dain: That wasn't meant for this group

ssayanfei: PLEASE IM ALREADY WHEEZING OBER HU TAO AND COCOMELON DONT DO THIS TO ME

officiallyfischl: comedic king <3

tomoswag: should i rewatch the entire puppet history series again or should i do my homework thays due tomorrow

tomoswag: also shoutout to kazuhas handmade professor puppet that he spent like $100 on

kazooha: my pride and joy <3

ssayanfei: u can't just say that and then not show us the puppet wtf i love puppet history

kazooha:

tomoswag: my arm 🥺

ssayanfei: SCREAMINT AND CRYING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

ssayanfei: HES ALL BUCKLED UP AND READY TO GO!!! HES ON AN ADVENTURE !!!!!! KAZUHA GIVE HIM TO ME

kazooha: give me $100 and i'll make you one

ssayanfei: ok hold on

xingqiu:

ssayanfei: WHY IS THAT MY CONTACT PLEASE

kazooha: i have an entire folder on my phone for professor photos he's my son <3<3

kazooha: waiting 4 gorou to correct me

generalgorou: OUR SON

kazooha: there you are hello <3

generalgorou:

ssayanfei: i am literally obsessed with this puppet omfg kazuha pls bring him to school

kazooha: i'll try my best👍🏻

dilucragnvindr: Why are you losing it over a puppet

ssayanfei: you don't get it.

kaeyaalberich: I only watch Puppet History because of Albedo but I'm attached to the puppet. Do better Diluc

dilucragnvindr: It's a puppet

RaidenEi: My daughter happens to be a puppet.

aloynotahoy: okay i know that you have like an actual robot puppet child (two of them?) but without that context you sound like how a lot of parents view their oldest daughters

RaidenEi: She's a very independent robot. But she listens to everything her brother tells her and would probably also do anything that Kaedehara kid tells her to do.

kazooha: excuse me

RaidenEi: She likes you a lot. We don't know why.

kazooha: oh yeah

time skip brought to u by the fact that qiqi came home for the third time on standard. still dilucless btw

kujousara: there's a man looking at me in class😐

kokomi !: critkomi is abt to become a reality i want every detail about this man right now

kujousara: nvm it's just scaramouche

kujousara: i think he's glaring at everyone actually

scaramouche: there's a bee on the projector screen

kujousara: wait there is. i hate this school

xingqiu: it could be worse. i could've been private schooled or homeschooled and i CHOSE to come here

kujousara: that's the 2nd stupidest decision i've ever heard of

xingqiu: pls rate the top five

kujousara:
1. kazuha spending $100 on a puppet
2. xingqiu actively choosing public school
3. amber and albedo choosing to work in food service
4. my father.
5. aether choosing to date tomo

aethercool: i'm not dating tomo??

kujousara: YOU'RE NOT????

amberwantstofly: food service was a mistake however albedo quit a couple weeks ago bc he's gonna be a scientist or something

bostonian: 5'4" black hair never had her dad there.....

kujousara: i'm 5'8", i have purple hair, and my (adoptive) dad is here he's just a clown

bostonian: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE BEING TALLER THAN ME

IHATEDAWNWINERY: it's okay i'm still shorter

scaramouche: i'm gonna fight aloy wtf i'm not a robot

aloynotahoy: sounds like something a robot would say

scaramouche: cryo vision = no opinion

IHATEDAWNWINERY: okay you know what

IHATEDAWNWINERY added IlDottore to "Venti stop changing the group name"

scaramouche: i have never felt such an overwhelming amount of homicidal rage in my life. someone better hold me back i'm about to throw hands with a minor.

monamegistus: scara this isn't you 🥺🥺 scara look at me baby 🥺🥺 /j /j /j /j

bostonian: EHLP

ajaxtartagliachilde left "Venti stop changing the group name"

voltronsurvivor: lmao coward

voltronsurvivor: what's so bad abt this dottore guy anyway

bostonian: first red flag is the fact that he has an it*lian name

IlDottore: Oh wow. I have no idea what this is.

luminecool: me when scara mommy hands out the homework

voltronsurvivor: STOP LMAOAOAOAOA

ganyu: sighs deeply hello everyone

IlDottore: Would anyone like to be experimented on?

ganyu:

dain:

dain: Kazuha and the Professor

tomoswag: that's so true he's like a little baby baby man

tomoswag: it's fun to carry him like a baby bc he gets mad at me but like he's so easy to pick up he's tiny

generalgorou: akdbfvbgfhskfjfjskfjjtjfhsjjgjbdkrldnjadjhshBbz💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

kokomi !: my boy gorou turned into raiden shogun

generalgorou: kazuha is so. cute ibcant

kokomi !: shawty focus on math class

generalgorou: no i don't care abt functions

kokomi !: understandable i don't either

ayato: wtf is a function

kokomi !: ur a senior and u don't know this??????

sayu: it's bcs he has blue hair and pronouns /j

tomoswag: STOP IM CRYING

btw here's my updated "would u rob me" list

I SWEAR IM GONNA LEVEL UP ITTO AND GOROU SOON IM JUST TOO BUSY FARMING FOR ZHONGLI