in case you missed the note i posted a couple days ago i recommend going back and reading it to avoid confusion for this chapter

group: anti alhaitham club room

layla: "sorry guys i'm obeying traffic laws" -mona

layla: mona drivers license era

albedo: didn't know she had it in her

venti: girlboss

venti: my ancestry results are back and i regret to inform everyone that i am italian

venti: in light of this discovery, here is my german birth certificate

venti: [image]

scaramouche: why the hell is your middle name bard 💀

venti: SHUT UPPPPP

cyno: IM GONNA FUCKING

cyno: MURDER SOMEBODY

cyno: PREFERABLY ALHAITHAM

dehya: LMFAOOOOOOO

cyno: SHUT UP STUPID IDIOT MORON WOMAN

dehya: CYNO😭

candace: Someone sedate him

candace: He's so mad 😭

aether: what did alhaitham do this time

candace: Love how it's so obvious that the problem is Alhaitham

kaveh: ok so funny story

cyno: FUCK YOU

kaveh: yeah so basically alhaitham and i #eloped bc weddings are boring

cyno: MY LIFES WORK

cyno: ALL FOR NOTHING

alhaitham: Lol

cyno: like congrats and everything i'm happy for you guys but also who am i gonna use my wedding plans on and i hope you guys are happy /gen but like die

tighnari: he's happy for you guys i promise

kaveh: i'm fluent in cyno language i understand

cyno: ERGH

hu tao: it's always alhaitham that gets targeted when kaveh is just as bad 💀

cyno: yeah but i like him more

hu tao: free alhaitham he did nothing wrong 🙏🏻

cyno: UNTRUE he is a MENACE

scaramouche: visiting childe's family for the holidays and why is this bathtub so huge it's like a hot tub

aether: why are you visiting childe's family🤨⁉️

scaramouche: figure it out

aether: breh

arlecchino: .you guys don't know

cyno: don't know what😧

arlecchino: oh you don't know.

aether: WHAT DONT WE KNOW

scaramouche: L

aether: scaramouche my worst enemy

aether: @heizou @kaeya detective boys help me

kaeya: LOL YOU DONT KNOW

kaeya: Childe my best friend

childe: kaeya my boy 💪🏻

heizou: aether...

aether: heizou bestie im so lost

cyno: omg i think i get it

scaramouche: here does this help

scaramouche: [image] (chiscara kiss)

aether: iAWHSYHADB

aether: WHAT IN THE FUCK

kazuha: WHAT

kazuha: KUNIKUZUSHI. HOW LONG

scaramouche: literally like 2 years

kazuha: ?.?3?;!/!,!/!,!:?:!,:!,?,???????,?;?

scaramouche: kazuha😭

kazuha: I THIUGHR YOU TWO WRRE JUDT REALLY CLOSE FRIEBDS😭😭

tomo: HELP????

kazuha: LISTEN

xinyan: just heard kazuha scream

xinyan: childe and scaramouche are what

xinyan: anyways i just ate the best pancakes i've ever had in my life 💯

childe: happy for you fr

xinyan: thanks bestie im mad at you for not telling me about your TWO YEAR RELATIONSHIP

childe: it slipped my mind 🥹

xinyan: i'm gonna shit yourself

cyno: new threat just dropped

mona: so i may have crashed my car 😁

layla: "may have" mf you did

mona: shhh

aloy: CHILDE IS WHAT

lumine: aloy🫵

lumine: i've missed you fr

aloy: i like to ignore you people

aloy: putting my homophobic pants on

mona: HDHAHFJSJS

mona: so like does anyone know a mechanic😁

venti: are you okay kitten

mona: HUH

venti: 🥺🐱

mona: silence, bard

mona: crashing your car next

layla: i'll be there too

layla: let's go lesbians

aloy: slay (literally)

layla: LMAO

aloy: are u guys okay though

mona: yeah it's honestly funny

layla: cute first date idea💕: crashing your car

mona: [image]

mona: she broken💪🏻

mona: sorry our first date went like this layla android pleading face

layla: LOL

layla: let's take photos w the broken car fr

mona: omg so true it makes a great background

venti: wake up guys we got two new couple reveals in the anti alhaitham club room

tomo: next one is me and scaramommy fr🙏🏻

scaramouche:

scaramouche: @kazuha

kazuha: WHAT DID I DO TO YOU

scaramouche: you willingly associate with tomo

kazuha: 😔

cyno: i am in kaveh's house. there is a Hand.

cyno: just like a fake hand. on his desk.

kaveh: ???WHERE ARE YOU

cyno: i climbed in your bedroom window. can you explain the hand

kaveh: it's thing

albedo: thing from the addams family?

kaveh: yes🤭

albedo: okay but from the movies or from the new series

kaveh: the movies🤭

albedo: so true

albedo: so where did you get your thing. asking for a friend

kaveh: i made it ! benefits of being an artist

kaveh: do you want one😏 i have a prototype one somewhere that's basically the same as the finished result😏

albedo: 👁️👁️

albedo: i am looking

kaveh: it's all yours bestie

kaveh: i have to find it in my closet though

kaveh: it's probably in there with my highschool self

cyno: DONT MAKE ME LAUGJ IM MADAT YOU

kaveh: cope💖

cyno: YOUR MOTHER

aether: i'm gonna feed cyno as much melatonin as i can fit in my hands

cyno: u can't catch me

venti: team cyno for life fr

cyno: venti my strongest ally

venti: alhaitham and kaveh my worst enemies

cyno: you get it fr

cyno: im still in kaveh and alhaitham's house and i was just ranting to them abt my wasted wedding plans and alhaitham literally turned off his hearing aids i hate him so mcuh myy worst enemy

lumine: NAHHHHHHHHH

kaveh: IT WAS SO FUNNY

cyno: YEAH TO YOU

lumine: the way alhaitham hasn't even said anything yet

lumine: bro literally said "Lol" and then went offline

alhaitham: It's funny watching Cyno freak out from a distance

cyno: yo meet me in the school hallway we're gonna fight

alhaitham: I literally just got married and you think I'm of appropriate age to walk into a highschool and fight a student

cyno: raiden does it all the time

ei: This is not true. It was only once.

ei: Also, the student was Tomo, so I believe my actions are justified.

cyno: ok understandable

cyno: alhaitham my worstie instead of the school hallway how about venti's backyard

alhaitham: Worstie?

cyno: like bestie but you're my archnemesis so worstie

alhaitham: Understood

venti: i'll agree to host this fight if you give me something

cyno: i'll get dottore to extract the italian dna out of you

scaramouche: i fucking hate dottore

venti: WHWHRE DID YHRTA COME FORM???

scaramouche: the mention of his name is enough to make me itch

scaramouche: but like yeah given the opportunity i'm sure he could remove the italianism

dottore: Oh I would love to!

scaramouche: kys

dottore: You first

alhaitham: Medieval duel in Mothman's backyard

venti: HOW DID OYU KNOW IIMMM MOTHMAN

alhaitham: I know things

albedo changed xiao's name to pubert.

venti: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

albedo: he beat me at gamepigeon cup pong and i'm still the only person who can change usernames. so now he deals with the consequences.

pubert: i DONT WANT TO BE PUBERT

albedo: if you beat me at sea battle i'll change it to something worse. if i win you can be xiao again.

pubert: ok bet

lumine: new chat lore: albedo and xiao play imessage games together

cyno: who's xiao

lumine: oh sorry that's my bad. pubert and albedo play imessage games together

pubert: lumine im sick of you

lumine: xoxo /p

timeskip

albedo changed pubert's name to xiao.

albedo: i always win sea battle. ask kaeya.

kaeya: It's true

xiao: finally i am free from the clutches of pubert

layla: it's cuffing seasoooonnn

childe: real

childe: gonna miss pubert

xiao: are you gonna keep calling me pubert

childe: yes

xiao: you get paired with this mf for a class project one time and suddenly he's taking you to starbucks every day and calling you pubert

childe: HJKGHSKJFGH