scara tried to k1ll me today and i was like aw hes a baby

group: xiaovenphobic


scaramouche: "it's only $1700" -actual text i just got from childe tartaglia


monamegistus: i'm gonna kill him


xingqiu: wait what's the issue


luminecool: rich ppl 😕😕


monamegistus: i'm gonna kill both of you


ajaxtartagliachilde: rawr


imbennett: i agree let's kill childe


ajaxtartagliachilde: welp bennetts in on it im a ginger . tell teucer he's my favorite sibling


ajaxtartagliachilde: GONER NOT GINGER


aloynotahoy: HEY??


luminecool: GINGER LMAOAOAOAOA


aloynotahoy: jax what were u even talking abt that costs $1700


luminecool: every time u call him jax i picture him as a frat boy


aloynotahoy: PLEASEEE


ajaxtartagliachilde: it was abt a cool bow </3


imbennett: like jojo siwa???


ajaxtartagliachilde: IM AN ARCHER


imbennett: that makes more sense actually


ssayanfei: hey guys welcome to my new series called "ppl in this group/school as watcher/bfu pics in my camera roll"


ssayanfei:



ssayanfei: starting off strong with scara and childe


xiao.: that's them


scaramouche: except we're not friends


xiao.: you literally are


ssayanfei:



ssayanfei: venti


barbietoes: GEHABDHAHFHD


aethercool: I CANT


ssayanfei:



ssayanfei: us trying to explain venti to other people


ssayanfei: alternate caption: childe kazuha scaramouche


kazooha: sports sports sports ✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻


barbietoes: GO PATS 🇺🇸🏈


scaramouche: don't group me with them they're crazy


kazooha: we are literally best friends


scaramouche: ew


generalgorou: rude smh my head


ssayanfei:



ssayanfei: xiao scara aloy and zhongli talking abt childe


scaramouche: okay that one's funny


ssayanfei: i know.


luminecool: enemies to lovers 🥺⁉️


ssayanfei: I LIKE WOMEN ???


scaramouche: i literally have a girlfriend


ajaxtartagliachilde: who would be that stupid


scaramouche: you'll find out


ssayanfei: ahem moving on


ssayanfei:



ssayanfei: xiao and kazuha coping w trauma


kazooha: STOP YEAH


xiao.: how else am i supposed to cope


ssayanfei:



ssayanfei: pov u are xiao hanging out with the twins and venti


ssayanfei: alternate caption: pov u are xiao hanging out with childe hu tao and zhongli


xiao.: pretty much yeah


barbietoes: i'm shane


ajaxtartagliachilde: i am also shane


ssayanfei: yes i believe that was obvious thank you guys


ssayanfei:



ssayanfei: firefighters after getting another call from our school bc of albedo/sucrose/gorou


generalgorou: why am i being roped in with the ppl who set the vet lab on fire i have done nothing wrong


noelle=):



generalgorou: STOPPPP


sucrose🍭: noelle chooses violence every day


scaramouche: i doubt that


sucrose🍭: she could kill u. also don't care didn't ask plus you're a man


albedooo: she threw a rock at some girl in geology.


noelle=): i'm built different


ssayanfei: i'm out of photos for now btw


luminecool: ah it's time for my daily ritual of calling aether an idiot


luminecool: aether youre an idiot


aethercool: im aware


ayaka: guys i just watched my brother fall flat on his b*tt bc i didn't tell him i mopped the floor and it was so funny


luminecool: watching ur siblings get hurt >>>


luminecool: unless its not me inflicting the pain in which case it isnt funny anymore


ayaka: so true


thomathetrain: pls tell me u got it on camera


ayaka: no if i did i would've already sent it to you since ur so desperate for ayato content


thomathetrain: STOPT IT


ayaka: never


ssayanfei: ohoho😏


thomathetrain: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP


ganyu: can we acknowledge "b*tt"


ayaka: i wanna add him to this just so he can see all of this


thomathetrain: no he is not ready to know abt my massive crush on him


thomathetrain: wait this is a group chat


monamegistus: yeah we're still here


ssayanfei: day 2 of the blond men in this group being dumb


ssayanfei: except albedo ofc he does no wrong


albedooo: you don't have to specify every time.


ssayanfei: ur just better than everyone thats just common knowledge. like wed all let u burn down the school but when gorou does it its an issue


ayaka added ayato to "xiaovenphobic"


generalgorou: OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS GRACIOUS I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER EVEN THREATENED TO SET ANY PART OF THIS SCHOOL ON FIRE. ALBEDO AND SUCROSE ARE THE ONES WHO LIT THE VET LAB ON FIRE AND I HAD NO PART IN THAT. THE SECOND ONE WAS ELECTRICAL AS CONFIRMED BY SCARAMOUCHE. I HAVE NEVER BROKEN A RULE EVER IN MY LIFE


kazooha: babe im pretty sure ur between-class activities break several rules


generalgorou: ok listen im still not an arsonist


ayato: wtf is a xiaoven


ayato: is that like a smart oven??? like the smart fridges???


thomathetrain took a screenshot!


ayato: betrayal


thomathetrain: listen it was rly funny


xiao.: i'm xiao, in case you can't read


barbietoes: im venti 😏


barbietoes: we're boyfriends


ayato: got it


aethercool: omg *the* ayato ?? intro now


ayato: ok i'm ayato, age 18, i'm a senior, ayaka is my sister, i'm not that interesting


aethercool: i doubt that


thomathetrain: ayato ur lying


ayato: 😌


ssayanfei: anyways i keep learning things abt scaramouche against my will


luminecool: can u share with the class


ssayanfei: well first of all yk that one terrifying teacher ms shogun?


luminecool: yes im terrified of her


aethercool: shes SCARY


ayato: oh gosh i had her sophomore year she still haunts my nightmares


officiallyfischl: i actually like her


aethercool: thats bc ur a teachers pet


officiallyfischl: nah i just like her threatening vibe


ssayanfei: anyways thats scaras Mother


ayato: not sure who scara is but keep him away from me


scaramouche: too late for that and don't call me scara


thomathetrain: omg im shocked that teacher is so scary


aethercool: shut up homeschooler


thomathetrain: its so funny tho


keqing: someone in my class right now is listening to phantom of the opera


kazooha: my bad ill turn it down


keqing: i don't think i should be surprised


kazooha: in case you're wondering yes i am always like this


keqing: respect tbh



time skip brought to u by the fact that i cant decide on a main team



monamegistus: i got a lacrosse stick i'm joining the team


ajaxtartagliachilde: LETS GO LACROSSE PLAYERS!!!!!


scaramouche:
mona: and this move is called a rainbow
me: can you do it
mona: [tries] apparently not


officiallyfischl: mona you're hanging out with scaramouche?????????? please do better


scaramouche: so who's gonna tell her


monamegistus: idk not me


officiallyfischl: okay wait


officiallyfischl: scaramouche you said earlier that you have a girlfriend correct?


scaramouche: correct


officiallyfischl: hmmm.........


officiallyfischl: is there any chance that it's mona


scaramouche: correct


officiallyfischl: call me yanfei/albedo because i know everything


monamegistus: anyways i'm abt to shoot a bb gun


ssayanfei: girlboss


aethercool: STRAIGHT PPL IN MY GROUP CHAT????


barbietoes: bff you're the last person i wanna hear being heterophobic


keqing: HETEROPHOBIC


chongyun: ain't that the thing kaeya has in his eye


albedooo: that's heterochromia.


chongyun: idk sounds the same to me


luminecool: albedo and bennett are opposite ends of the kaeya love spectrum


luminecool: albedo: loves kaeya very much , vs , bennett: would kill kaeya for a sprite cranberry


imbennett: ugh now i want a sprite cranberry


imbennett: also do u guys wanna see my elf on the shelf army


officiallyfischl: i would really prefer not to


imbennett: ur loss then


officiallyfischl: no i really don't think it is


sucrose🍭: mona and scara are dating???? idk who to feel sorry for


monamegistus: wtf


scaramouche: LMAOOOO


voltronsurvivor: yall childe bullies me he wont come to the parade w me


albedooo: don't parades have a lot of flashing lights?


voltronsurvivor: ya thats the best part


albedooo: and isn't childe epileptic?


voltronsurvivor: OHE YEAH


ajaxtartagliachilde: hu tao is out here trying 2 kill me call the fbi (kaeya).......


dilucragnvindr: He is nineteen years of age he is not in the FBI.


barbietoes: and thats why spencer reid > kaeya


dilucragnvindr: You say that as if it's something you think about often


barbietoes: im in a constant state of "is this person better than spencer reid"


barbietoes: the answer is usually no unless ur xiao


kaeyaalberich: If HuTao wants to kill you that's a personal issue don't drag me into it


voltronsurvivor: CUSTOMERS WOOOOOO!!!!!!


ajaxtartagliachilde: NO PLEASE IMSO YOUNG I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR IM NOT EVEN MARRIED YET


kaeyaalberich: Kill him during the parade because all the police and fire trucks will be at the parade and you'll be able to get away easier


voltronsurvivor: omg wait


dilucragnvindr: Kae you're a detective you shouldn't be encouraging this


barbietoes: dudes a detective at 19.... maybe u are equal to spence


kaeyaalberich: Don't tell me how to live my life and drop the nickname or you're next


dilucragnvindr: You think I care?


scaramouche: was gonna say i'm sick of these two and then remembered albedo has it worse. new emotion unlocked


kazooha: SUBJECT LEARNED NEW EMOTION: Sympathy


scaramouche: ihy


albedooo: you get used to it eventually.


ssayanfei: the character development of albedo going from being chaotic to being Tired and Normal and Using Punctuation


albedooo: i stopped masking. you're stuck with the real me.


ssayanfei: so true


officiallyfischl: dainsleif wasn't at school all week. i'm gonna commit gorou


generalgorou: I HATE ALL OF U

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