i am going to kiss diluc on the mouth
group: Diluc gets no bitches
amber: reminder that spotify shows what you are listening to. looking at you, venti.
venti: I AM LISTENING TO VERY GOOD MUSIC THANK YOU
amber: you've had cbat on repeat for half an hour.
venti: BSHAHFHWHFBSD
scaramouche: seek professional help
ayato: Hie
ayato: venti i know a great therapist
venti: thoma isn't a therapist
ayato: damn
aether: 🏳️🌈🫵
ayato: 🪞
aether: guilty😔
cyno: genderless catholic call that nun binary
cyno: anyways hi i got my collarbone fixed
aether: SHEDDING REAL TEARS
kazuha: did they let you keep the broken piece in a little jar
cyno: no but i got to do that when i got a tooth pulled a couple years ago
cyno: it was in a little bag though. i think it's lost under my bed rn
kazuha: what.
cyno: you asked a weird question i gave a weird answer so we're even
kazuha: i have no words
amber: cyno respectfully i do not want you around collei /j
cyno: how dare you try to rip me away from my daughter. i'm gonna hire a lawyer.
yanfei: hey
cyno: omg
yanfei: i'll be ur lawyer pro bono shawty
cyno: really 🥺🥺
yanfei: yah there's just one condition. Shikanoin Heizou and their Haunted Clown Doll must be eliminated.
heizou: how dare you speak ill of nikolai vasilyevich dottore the third
dottore: Woah what
dottore: I like this kid. Refrigerator can we adopt him
regrator: If anyone asks, I have no knowledge of this conversation.
regrator: Why is it Nikolai Vasilyevich Dottore the Third? What happened to the first two.
heizou: it's for the aesthetic
regrator: Noted.
cyno: so is yanfei my lawyer or not
yanfei: yeah i'll do it since i think dottore and regrator have taken over the haunted clown doll thing
amber: i'll find an even better lawyer
amber: like uhh
amber: kaeya
kaeya: I'm a detective not a lawyer
amber: youd probably be a decent lawyer
kaeya: Don't say this to me
amber: HGAHGDH
collei: what did i just open this group to
cyno: Hi Collei
amber: hi collei!
collei: i'm getting my own lawyer and suing both of you
cyno: PLEADLJBDJ
ganyu: i have A Story
ganyu: so i go outside to get the mail.
ganyu: and there is a whole actual literal entire loaf of bread.
ganyu: and i look at the return address and it says
ganyu:
Venti Barbatos
6322 SE Marinated Garlic Sq.
ganyu: and it's addressed to xiao.
ganyu: so that's how my day is going!
aether: i'll never understand what goes on in venti's brain
paimon: are you implying that venti has a brain
venti: VENTIPHOBIA
zhongli: Childe is a whore
childe: what the fawk
aether: @xiao @hu tao @ganyu @aloy @pierro @dottore @columbina @capitano @pulcinella @scaramouche @arlecchino @signora @regrator @sandrone who stole zhongli's phone
columbina: what do you people want from me
columbina: HAHAHAHA WHEOE
pulcinella: queso Dip recipe
childe: this isn't google bestie
pulcinella: how do I access the Gogole
pierro: I'll show you
kaeya: 🫵My Dad🫵
pierro: Hello Kaeya.
cyno: i sense old people in my presence
tighnari: it's you
cyno: it's your mom actually
tighnari: i'm with yours rn
cyno: MI MAMA
collei: what a coincidence! i'm with tighnari's mom right now!
tighnari: COLLEI NO
pulcinella: I had a mother once
collei: very cool pulcinella
lumine: aether just laughed so hard he fell off the couch
aether: TEARS ROLLOING DOWN MY FACE
timeskip brought to you by my diluc's neglected talents (sorry pookie)
dainsleif: Hi guys
aether: COLLAPSES HI DAIN
dainsleif: I'm drinking the coldest crispiest glass of root beer that I've ever had
lumine: it's 7am
dainsleif: Are we gonna have a problem
lumine: yes
albedo: on today's episode of "what's albedo hyperfixated on": literally sherlock holmes.
heizou: W
cyno: he's lowkey a babygirl
albedo:
albedo: did you just call sherlock holmes a babygirl?
cyno: yes is there an issue
albedo: nope. continue.
cyno: i have nothing more to say i just wanted to speak my truth
paimon: paimon wants a sandwich
lumine: again it is 7am
lumine: why are we all awake
cyno: my physical activity restrictions have been slightly lifted (i'm lying) so i'm running
tighnari: are you fr
cyno: pretend you didn't read that
childe: bestieth remember when i said dottore's name is dawn
dottore: You what?
childe: i was feeling silly goofy okay
dottore: That's not even my name👹
diluc: Oh good. I can live peacefully now.
IHATEDAWNWINERY: my heart is broken
IHATEDAWNWINERY: shattered even
dottore: Oh it was me on Zhongli's phone earlier btw. Laugh out loud
childe: i vote that we rename him to dawn bc it's silly and it pisses diluc off which is funny
pulcinella: Zandik
dottore: That is in fact my name! Thank you Pulcinella!
aether: that's sick actually . better than dawn perhaps
dottore: It's definitely better than Dawn. I'm insulting a certain winery
diluc: Kay why ess
dottore: Yes Diluc😔
aether: i hc these two as besties
paimon: agree
dottore: I accept this!
diluc: I don't.
dottore: Coward
mona: help i keep yawning
paimon: i'm gonna crawl in
mona: i'AwhTw
mona: What!
cyno: guys guys guys
cyno: i ate a clock yesterday
dainsleif: You people and eating things you shouldn't
cyno: yeah it was very time consuming
dainsleif:
dainsleif: I'm gonna
amber: who let cyno off his leash
cyno: joe MAMA!!!!!
dainsleif: I hate children
cyno: IM EIGHTEEN
dainsleif: You're a child
cyno: your mother
mona: i crave ham
dainsleif pinned a message from mona.
mona: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
mona: anyways
dainsleif: That was funny
mona: thank you i appreciate it
albedo: hello
aether: hello albedo
cyno: albedo are you gay
paimon: hi bedo wedo
mona: dain i ate ham. hello albedo.
albedo: literally what do i even respond to first.
albedo: replied to cyno: albedo are you gay --> probably
cyno: Nice
cyno: handshake emoji
albedo: handshake emoji
dainsleif: Mona why are you telling me you ate ham
mona: i thought you cared about my ham craving
dainsleif: Not really
mona: this is misogyny
dainsleif: No I just don't support French people
cyno: mona is french???/
mona: yes......
cyno: let's hope it's just a phase
mona: tbh