warning for new readers: if youre annoying in the comments i will block you👍🏻 i like reading comments so feel free to comment as much as u want just dont say anything annoying, rude, or sexual👍🏻
also i hate zhongchi now. like i hate it. if you're a fellow hater i believe that you can power through the very few moments in here that they have before i switched the ships 🤞

this is mostly highschool au and i changed some ages bc rules are fake
i sound like a childe kinnie (i am)

aethercool made a group

aethercool added luminecool, Jean!, Zhongli, xiao., Lisa💜, aloynotahoy, ajaxtartagliachilde, xingqiu, chongyun, barbietoes, dilucragnvindr, and kaeyaalberich

aethercool: just doxxed diluc

dilucragnvindr: What.

kaeyaalberich: Lol

luminecool: stop acting all surprised ur not immune to the internet

luminecool: you own a winery chill out

Jean!: Behave, kids.

ajaxtartagliachilde: omg a place to put all of my weird thoughts finally anyways some dude i follow on tik tok that i knew in like middle school posted a video saying "subscribe to my youtube channel or you're gay" so i went an unsubscribed

luminecool: as expected

luminecool: can we get back to the part where aether doxxed diluc bc what's his address for totally legal reasons

xiao.: are you gonna rob him

luminecool: you cant prove that

xiao.: careful we have a detective in here and i know a lawyer

luminecool: wtf whoever the detective is better not rat me out also why haven't you solved the zodiac killer case yet :///// corruption if you ask me /j

kaeyaalberich: I will simply turn the other way if you choose to rob Diluc and as far as I know I'm not required to be working on the Zodiac Killer case

barbietoes: too much punctuation pls do better

kaeyaalberich: All I did was capitalize things

barbietoes: exactly #lowercase4life

ajaxtartagliachilde: WHYVDOES MY NOSE SMELL BAD?????? 🥲

xiao.: i did not need to be a part of that

barbietoes: i could hear my eyelids this morning

barbietoes: anyways im mothman

dilucragnvindr: You are sixteen years old you are not mothman

barbietoes: can you prove that

dilucragnvindr: Well no

barbietoes: ok so sit down and shut up #aaronhotchner

dilucragnvindr: No.

barbietoes: diluc is so mean to me guys

aethercool: cmon diluc he's literally neurodivergent and a minor :/ /j

Zhongli: Am I having a stroke

xiao.: i think we both are

xingqiu: who are you people and how did you get my number

aethercool: i'm in 3 of chongyun's classes and i stole ur number from chongyun's phone

xingqiu: what

chongyun: aether why

aethercool: no one stopped me

chongyun: fair enough

xingqiu: so uh . how's life i guess

aethercool: lumine beats me

xingqiu: wh

luminecool: ❌mmm time out ALL I CAN SHARE...sorry?❌

aethercool: I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO ADD MY BEST FRIEND AMBER INTO THIS GROUP

barbietoes: wtf ur cheating on me ??

aethercool: UR ALSO MY BEST FRIEND

barbietoes: bestie i am so hurt

aethercool: i'm sorry bestie

barbietoes: it's ok bestie go rob diluc's place of employment for me and i'll forgive u

dilucragnvindr: Not happening

aethercool: just u try and stop me

aethercool added amberwantstofly to the group

aethercool: we need a group name

amberwantstofly: HI LUMINE!!!

luminecool: HI AMBER!!!

aethercool: wtf give me my friend back

luminecool: no

xiao.: whatever you do don't let childe name the group

ajaxtartagliachilde named the group "ted bundt"

ajaxtartagliachilde: NO I MADE A TYPO

ajaxtartagliachilde: WHO CHANGED MY PERMISSIONS

aloynotahoy: why is your username literally all three of your names

aloynotahoy: i literally grew up with u and i don't remember ur real name

xiao.: wait he has a real name

xiao.: and childhood friends???

xiao.: i kinda just assumed he'd spawned randomly one day or smth or like shown up randomly at a fire station at the ripe old age of 2.3 with 3 sticky notes with 3 names written on them that were attached to him bc his parents couldn't choose a name and then he was kept in solitary confinement until his teen years

ajaxtartagliachilde: WH

ajaxtartagliachilde: IS THAT WHAT MY LIFE LOOKS LIKE TO U????

xiao.: yes

ajaxtartagliachilde: WHY it's ajax btw and aloy is my stepsister

aloynotahoy: i knew that

ajaxtartagliachilde: no u didn't

aloynotahoy: yeah ur right

xiao.: YOU HAVE SIBLING?????

ajaxtartagliachilde: DO YOU EVEN SEE ME AS A REAL PERSON

xiao.: only on tuesdays

amberwantstofly: ok ignoring whatever that was do i have permission to expand this group

aethercool: yes ofc bestie u have full rights

barbietoes: SO U ARE CHEATING ON ME!!!!!

aethercool: BESTIE ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

ajaxtartagliachilde: WTF GIVE MY RIGHTS BACK THEN

aethercool: absolutely not

amberwantstofly: do y'all know that sophomore kid that always has smth bad happening to him for some reason

xingqiu: bennett?

amberwantstofly: yeah ..... anyways he needs friends that aren't razor

luminecool: are u insulting my bff razor

amberwantstofly: no they're just each other's only friends i'm adding them both actually

amberwantstofly added imbennett and razor

xingqiu: amber how do u know this kid ur a junior

amberwantstofly: im a senior so die and also im besties w the nurse so i'm there during my free period and bennett is Always there

amberwantstofly: like actually always

imbennett: ok no need to call me out like that

xingqiu: UR A SENIOR??????? I THOUGHT U WERE LIKE 16

amberwantstofly: WHAY IM A WHOLE ADULT oh gosh i'm an adult

ajaxtartagliachilde: it doesn't get better

luminecool: HELP WHY DID I JUST PROCESS THAT CHILDE TRIED TO NAME THE GROUP TED BUNDY BUT MADE A TYPO

ajaxtartagliachilde: ted bundt 😀

aethercool: im not changing it

aloynotahoy: please keep it forever i want this man to be held accountable for his actions

ajaxtartagliachilde: why do u hate me sister

aloynotahoy: I THOUGHT U WWRE CALLING ME A NUN

xiao.: death looms and i welcome it to come closer

barbietoes: i think u need to up ur antidepressants dose

xiao.: probably

razor: hm

imbennett: razor cant use technology but he's trying his best 🤞

razor: i sense chil de. gros

ajaxtartagliachilde: HOMOPHOBIA

aethercool: okok wait can we all introduce ourselves bc i think i'm the only one who knows everyone here

ajaxtartagliachilde: eh why not whatre the rules

xiao.: since when do u follow rules

ajaxtartagliachilde: leave me alone or i'm not taking u to starbucks tomorrow

xiao.: fine but i'm only being nice bc i want an almond croissant

aethercool: ok name age grade and a fun fact

barbietoes: can the fun fact be abt anything or does it have to be ourselves

aethercool: idc do what u want i just want comedy

aethercool: i'll start what's up im aether i'm 15 im a sophomore and i haven't cut my hair since age 10

luminecool: ITS BEEN THAT LONG????

luminecool: ok hi i'm lumine i'm that things older twin i'm also 15 and a sophomore and i just got a haircut like a week ago

barbietoes: i'm venti i'm 16 junior and i AM MOTHMAN

aethercool: hes not lying

barbietoes: i'm not lying

ajaxtartagliachilde: moving on from that ... wassup i have 3 names take ur pick for which one u wanna use just don't call me jax unless ur aloy or zhongli k thanks. i'm 23 i graduated like a million years ago and i played lacrosse

barbietoes: LACROSSE........

Zhongli: I'm Zhongli, I'm 26 and engaged to Childe.

aloynotahoy: please do better

Zhongli: Not possible

aloynotahoy: i am sso violently homophobic

kaeyaalberich: I'm Kaeya I'm 19 I do not go to school because I am 19 and fun fact your mom

dilucragnvindr: Real mature

kaeyaalberich: Shut up you literally drink grape juice

luminecool: do not slander grape juice i love that stuff

dilucragnvindr: Ok whatever I'm Diluc I'm 20 and I own a winery also I'm older than Kaeya

kaeyaalberich: I'm taller than you

dilucragnvindr: I have two eyes

kaeyaalberich: I also have two eyes I just have heterophobia

ajaxtartagliachilde: HETEROPHOBIA?????? same tho

luminecool: DO U MEAN . HETEROCHROMIA IM CRYING

barbietoes: love your homophobia kaeya!

dilucragnvindr: You and I both know it's been a long time since I've seen both your eyes Kae. I forgot it's even there

kaeyaalberich:
quoted dilucragnvindr's message: "Kae."
never again. thanks

luminecool: can we get back to intorcuditons

aethercool: can you spell introductions

luminecool: i'm plotting your murder and kaeya won't find your body

xingqiu: um i'm xingqiu i'm 16 and a junior + fun fact i'm in fencing club

aethercool: pack it up adrien agreste

xingqiu: STOP EVERYONE SAYS I SOUND LIKE LADYBUG IDK WHY

chongyun: you do

chongyun: anyways hello i'm chongyun i'm 17 im a junior and unfortunately i have several classes with aether

aethercool: THATS YOUR FACT??!

chongyun: i mean yeah

amberwantstofly: im amber!! i'm 18 i'm a senior and i am legally allowed to serve alcohol at work 😎 can't drink it tho which is fine

barbietoes: rly shawty?? hook me up w a white claw

amberwantstofly: absolutely not.

barbietoes: eh worth a shot

aloynotahoy: ayo i'm aloy i'm 19 im a freshman in college and i enjoy country music i hope u guys still love me xoxo

razor: l uke bryn

aloynotahoy: SO TRUE WOLFBOY

imbennett: i'll do razors intro

imbennett: he's 16 he's a sophomore and he has 3 dogs and is currently learning how to type

razor: h

imbennett: so true bestie

imbennett: ok i'm bennett i'm 16 a sophomore and i'm on a first name basis w the er nurses at the hospital by dawn winery

imbennett: for legal reasons the winery has nothing to do with that im just giving a location

luminecool: are you . okay

imbennett: not at all! thanks for asking❤️

xiao.: im xiao i'm 16 im a junior and i hate childe tartaglia so much

xiao.: i can sense him abt to call me homophobic

ajaxtartagliachilde: hwhat no i wasn't u cant prove that

aethercool: LISA AND JEAN WE ARE WAITING

Lisa💜: I'm Lisa, I'm 23 and I'm the school librarian. I'm not sure why I'm here but it's funny

ajaxtartagliachilde: LISA RMEMEVER ME WE HAD ENGLIHS TOFETHER

Lisa💜: You were the one who wrote an essay on why cheerleading isn't a sport, right?

luminecool: DIE TARTAGLIA IT LITERALLY IS

ajaxtartagliachilde: not me that was aloy

Lisa💜: Oh! So you're the sibling that threw a chair in that class then?

ajaxtartagliachilde: that . that one was me yeah

aloynotahoy: IS THAT YOUR LEGACY??????

Lisa💜: I think it should be

Jean!: I'm Jean, and I'm somehow the assistant principal at the ripe old age of 24. Not sure how I got here but it's fine.

aethercool: I MEANT TO ADD BARBARA IM SO SORRY

Jean!: I'm staying. You can't get rid of me.

aethercool: that's poggers

luminecool: just had a physical reaction why would you speak that awful word in my presence

luminecool: diluc can i use ur claymore for reasons that definitely do not include beating aether

dilucragnvindr: Ok

luminecool: YEHEHEHEHEHAHDHE