take a shot every time i change a ship in here (/j don't drink)
anyways happy new year i've been too nice to you guys for this entire book so i attempted A Plot xoxo part 2 coming soon

group: anti alhaitham club room

xiao: do you guys still love me despite my flaws (avid my hero academia enjoyer)

ganyu: i can't keep defending you

heizou: it's ok xiao i am too

ganyu: is this an anemo thing

venti: as the anemo archon i say yes because i'm also a mha enjoyer

ganyu: now what does that mean

venti: idk i made it up but it's my new title fr

venti: zhongli is the geo archon and scaramommy is the electro archon

venti: anemo gc decided that scara's friend nahida is the dendro archon. as for the others we're working on it

kazuha: broken heart a flask of gin tattooed with a safety pin

heizou: teeth all stained with nicotine running nylons shattered dreams 🥺

kazuha: super crusty holy terror wild eyes and black mascara🥹

heizou: IF I COULD HAVE JUST ONE DREAM🗣️

kazuha: ID BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL🗣️💃🏻

amber: i'm in england

kazuha: ?;?:?,!:?,):,!!:?;

amber: why r u so shocked. a bitch can't travel????

eula: how dare you question her whereabouts. i will have vengeance for this.

kazuha: i cant say anything in here can i

eula: no, you're a man. men have no say.

layla: that's so real

sayu: taroumaru ate my damn retainer

ayato: language

sayu: fuck you

amber: I JUST WHEEZED SO BAD😭

ayato: i walked right into that

heizou: make ayato pay for it

sayu: i am. it's his dog.

kazuha: so true

dm group: heizou, aether, lumine

heizou: yo

aether: yo

lumine: yo

heizou: question

lumine: shoot

heizou: did xiao and venti break up?

lumine: i hope not id kms

aether: did they?

timeskip

aether: THEY DID

heizou: man😭

aether: i'm devastated

heizou: i noticed they took each others initials out of their bios and i was like is this an aesthetic decision or is there something going on. and then xiao went offline when venti said smth and that basically confirmed my suspicions

heizou: i just broke up w shinobu bc i realized i like men and she realized she likes women so like i know the signs (we're besties still)

heizou: you know that scene at the end of mean girls where janis and damien kiss and they're immediately like nah. that's me and shinobu

aether: I WHEEZED

aether: is kazuha men

heizou: yeah.

aether: oh my lanta

lumine: bridge behind the school at 3pm im jumping off who's joining

heizou: don't jump sharty let's fix them🙏🏻

lumine: venti and aether should date again it was really funny last time /j

aether: i'd rather jump out of a train. thanks tho

aether: heizou i'm gonna matchmake you with kazuha

heizou: is he not dating gorou

lumine: best friend they broke up over summer break

heizou: HUH

lumine: it feels so nice to know something heizou doesn't

lumine: yeah they're still best friends tho kazuha said they both just realized they only wanted to be friends

lumine: teenager shit it happens fr

heizou: and no one told me.

aether: best friend.....

heizou: man alive

dm: venti, aether

aether: ventiiiii my bestest friend ever my platonic soulmate the black star to my tsubaki

venti: hi pookie

aether: i have a question🥺 and i hope it's not too invasive or anything i just wanna know🥺

venti: yes xiao and i broke up

aether: dammit

aether: how'd you know i was gonna ask😔

venti: how'd you know we broke up

aether: you took each others initials out of your bios and you haven't been interacting

venti: so we weren't subtle enough😔

aether: and you've seemed sad recently so

venti: i'm not handling it well (it was my fault)

aether: what happened pook

aether: if you wanna talk abt it

venti: hashtag argument gone wrong

venti: dear diary my teen angst bullshit has a body count

aether: are you seriously referencing heathers right now

venti: i'm coping😭

venti: the lack of context makes it look like we murdered someone together i promise we didnt

aether: HELP

aether: ok pook explain the situation and i will help

venti: ok

group: anti alhaitham club room

amber: my leg is bleeding. i blame venti and his perpetually bleeding legs

venti: worked my leg bleeding magic and caused it fr

aether: it's true i watched him do it

amber: i'm all the way in england i can't believe you did this to me😔

lumine: ok but we need to talk abt venti's legs

venti: oh really😏

lumine: they are ALWAYS BLEEDING

venti: and here i thought i was about to get complimented. what a cruel world we live in

lumine: we need to bubble wrap your legs

venti: i love bubble wrap

dainsleif: Sometimes I think you're on drugs

venti: ???????????????????????

venti: i just took a claritin does that count

dainsleif: If the shoe fits

venti: 🖕🏻🥺🖕🏻

dainsleif: 😔

amber: england slaps fr 💯

amber: i'm gonna visit the king and overthrow him

venti: overthrow the prime minister instead i want the king

amber: yes venti

venti: where did heizou go he's so entertaining

venti: heizou where are you pook

heizou: up your ass and to the left

venti: fuck you😭

heizou: LMAOAOAOAO

lumine: heizou is out for blood today

lumine: respect💯

heizou: im drinking a pumpkin spice crème from starbucks and i lowkey want this injected into my bloodstream this is so good

venti: i made it i own starbucks

heizou: sorry i didn't get the venti size do you still love me

venti: of course pookie🥺 just do better next time🥺

kazuha: can i have a sip🥺

heizou: of course 🥺

dm: heizou, gorou

heizou: Hello, Gorou.

gorou: i feel so threatened rn

heizou: HELP IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO START

heizou: anyways as i was gonna say. i have a fat crush on our mutual friend and your ex boyfriend kaedehara kazuha. does this anger you pleading face

gorou: no that's so cute actually

gorou: he's my best friend and he needs to get some bitches 🙏🏻

heizou: HELP???

heizou: so i can date kazuha and you won't try to murder me

gorou: i encourage you to date him actually

heizou: bet

gorou: what about shinobu though

heizou: you know that scene at the end of mean girls where janis and damien kiss and are immediately like "ew no"

gorou: understood

heizou: LMAO

group: anti alhaitham club room

scaramouche: imvon soo many painkillelrs rn

childe: context: someone (scaramouche) needed emergency surgery

scaramouche: thatttSMEEE

childe: that is you!

scaramouche: theyto ok myFucking appenidx

scaramouche: did your guys knoow that kazuhhaa doesnntn likj going mby nicknammes

scaramouche: yourh habve to call him Kazuha or heggs mad. iiito ttired to call him kazu once an d i go t to see a sword

kazuha: it's true

aether: how do you understand this

kazuha: i've known scaramouche for most of my life i can decipher his every word

childe: can i put you into my google translate app and paste his texts there

kazuha: i've always wanted to be a robot

scaramouche: くたばれ

scaramouche: forgot how to sayuyy it in ennglish

scaramouche: itsays fuck you

kazuha: you're so nice to me

scaramouche: 🖕🏻

kazuha: love u bestie

aether: true friendship♥️

scaramouche: ihave to bruhhs my tyeth

kazuha: omg same let's make a zoom call

scaramouche: OH MY LANTA I WILL NOT MAKE A ZOOM FOR U TO JOIN ME IN BRUSHIJG MY TEETH UR JUST GONNA HAVE TO LIVE ALONE IN UR BATHROOM ALONE AND USE UR LITTLE TOOTHBRUSH WITH U, URSELF, AND U IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR U TO COME AS WELL SO PLEASE JUST BRUSH UR TEETH ALONE I FIND IT KINDA WEIRD THAT U WOULD LIKE TO SEE MY SPIT FILLED MOUTH AS I FROLICK IN THE BATHRROM THE ZOOM WOULD ONLY LAST APP. 5 MINUTES ANYWAY DUE TO THE FACT THAT ITS SOLELY JUST ME BRUSJING, MOUTH WASH, FLOSSING AND THEN BED PLEASE DO NOT JOIN ME IN THIS ACTIVITY THAT EVERYONE DOES THAT U HAVE BEEN DOING ALONE FOR THE PAST 18 YEARS I CANT HAVE THIS RN THANK U

kazuha: WHAT😭

childe: he's literally laughing so hard rn

lumine: scaramouche on painkillers is my new favorite type of scaramouche

kazuha: best friend i was kidding pleading face

scaramouche: PLEASE DO NOT COME BACK TO ME WITH "i was kidding pleading face" I FIND THAT INCREDIBLY SALTY AND U KNOW IT WASNT A JOKE U KNOW IT FOR A FACT IT WAS NOT A JOKE WHETHER IT WAS OR NOT (it wasn't) DO NOT ANSWER IN THAT TONE AND ACCEPT THE FACT U CANNOT BE WITH ME WHILE I DO SOMETHING PRIVATE THE BATHROOM IS NOT A PLACE FOR MANY PEOPLE AND HAVING ANY DEVICE IN THERE MAKES ME EEK I DONT LIKE IT AND I FEEL DISTURBED WITH ANYTHING IN THERE I NEED TO GET IN THE FAST WHILE I MEDITATE BY BRISHUNF I LOVE TO BRUSH BUT THIS ISNT WHAT THATS ABOUT ITS ABOUT U NOT PARTICIPATINF AND UNDERTAANDING THANK U FOR UR CORPORATION AND NOT THANK U FOR THAT TONE I CANNOT BEAR THE FACT THAT U SAID THAT THABK U AGAIN

kazuha: i'm gonna come over there and knock you out

childe: he just fell asleep

heizou: we should give him painkillers more often i'm so entertained

kazuha: ikr

hi besties. your favorite ayato main and the only ayato main ever (me) is finally a haran haver which means i am a c2r1 ayato haver. unfortunately i ended up with two more engulfing lightnings in the process so that Thing is now r3. my eye is still twitching.

and just so it's known. i am so extremely defensive over ayato he is my #1 special interest so like. be nice to me about him LOL