yes i speedran this just to have it out on the 1 year anniversary of this thing

group: anti alhaitham club room

tomo:

tomo: kujou sara is back at it again folks

scaramouche: i refuse to read any more of this let sara move past her mpreg era

tomo: scarafly avoiding the reality

scaramouche: i lack comprehension skills

tomo: you also lack a stepdad but i can change that 😏

scaramouche: one day i am going to snap.

sara: SCARAMOUCHE IS RIGJT LEAVE ME ALONE YOU HEATHEN

tomo: no🥺

cyno: GUYS I AM SO UNBELIEVABLY MAD

cyno: wait

cyno: @kaveh @alhaitham

kaveh: what

alhaitham: What

cyno: say your thing so i can tell them why i'm mad

kaveh: OH YEAH

kaveh: we're engaged lol

aether: omg congrats

tomo: aether 🫵

aether: tomo🫵

tomo: i'm inside the ring btw

kaveh: wtf

dehya: PAY THE DUCK UP CYNO

dehya: me when autocorrect

cyno: IM SO MAD

cyno: alright backstory.

cyno: so i have a binder full of these mfs wedding plans right. like i've got everything planned out. with exact dates. our rich friend dori is funding everything. tighnari is in charge of plants. collei is in charge of rings

aether: ok back up why do you have their wedding planned

cyno: i'll be asking the questions around here

aether: yes cyno 🫡

cyno: so anyways kaveh found the binder once and he was like wtf (affectionate)

kaveh: i pretended not to see it

cyno: so anyways. i had their engagement date set a week from now

cyno: and alhaitham proposes fucking YESTERDAY

cyno: IM SO PISSED

alhaitham: L

cyno: FUCK YOU

tighnari: he's actually so mad abt this he ranted for 2 hours on facetime

collei: yeah dori got added at one point and just laughed for 5 minutes and then left

collei: cyno raged even harder after that

tighnari: "none of you are taking me SERIOUSLY🐺"

lumine: THE WOLF??????

tighnari: it represents his inner beast

collei: he screamed so loudly into a pillow at one point that razor walked in and asked if he was okay

collei: tighnari and i were sobbing

dehya: why was i not in this call im devastated

cyno: I RANG YOU FOUR TIMES

dehya: should've tried harder

aether: dehya that's on you tbh

dehya: leave me ALONE

collei: it's worth mentioning the scream was bc he remembered he owed you money dehya

dehya: LMFAOOOOO

tighnari: he started dramatically monologuing at some point like a theatre kid about how he's gonna go broke and become a poor orphan on the streets and collei started choking bc she picked the wrong moment to take a drink

collei: IT WAS SO FUNNY

collei: cyno went "that's what you get🐺"

collei: dori rejoined at one point and started blasting how bad can i be from the lorax and i legitimately had to grab an inhaler

tighnari: the best part: kaveh was there the whole time w his camera off and muted so cyno didn't know and at one point collei was like "the fact that kaveh is here 😭" and cyno literally turned to the camera like 👁️___👁️

lumine: IM GONANAB CHOKE WHU IS IT LOKING AT ME LIKE THAT

collei: i almost passed out from laughing so hard it was hysterical

kaveh: i took a screenshot

kaveh: [image]

lumine: HELP WHY IS HE LITERALLY 👁️__👁️

aether: RQZOR ON THE FLOOR IN THE BACKGOGROUJF IM JN TEARS

razor: funny

razor: i made cyno  add. bennyt

bennett: I WAS SO CONFUSED I DIDNT KNOW ANY OF TJESE PEOPLE EXCEPT CYNO AND EVEN THEN I ONLY KNEW HIM AS A SERIOUS PERSON IRL

bennett: i'm team cyno tho bc how DARE kaveh and alhaitham get engaged before cyno allowed them to

cyno: bennett is the only person in that call who cares about me

tighnari: i am your BOYFRIEND

cyno: ✋

cyno: anyways that's the end of that story. i'm gonna fistfight alhaitham he is the bane of my existence

kaveh: same

alhaitham: The feeling is mutual

cyno: kaveh do not even breathe in my direction rn i'm mad at u too

kaveh: you'll be fine❤️

cyno: no i WONT

tighnari: he'll be fine

cyno:

scaramouche: monke☹️

scaramouche: i care him

scaramouche: sorry for being nice i'm on antidepressants now

aether: redemption arc

scaramouche: call me zuko

aether: PLEASE

venti: horrible news guys.

lumine: make me cry football boy

scaramouche pinned a message.

lumine: eye just twitched

venti: i am italian.

venti: mother confirmed it.

mona: L

scaramouche: L

dainsleif: L

venti: kys

kaeya: LMFAOOOO

kaeya: GERMAN AND ITALIAN

kaeya: PICK A STRUGGLE

venti: IK ITS HORRIBLE

venti: anyways i bought an ancestry kit so we'll have confirmation in like 1.5 months

venti: i'm gonna eat coconut bread now

scaramouche: give me some

venti: open wide

scaramouche: 😮

venti: [puts a piece of bread in your mouth using my long clawlike toenails] did you like it sweetie

scaramouche: 😀⁉️

venti: HDBAJFBSJFNE

venti: MY CHEZT

scaramouche: taking a nap bye guys

aether: poor scaramouche

venti: right we torture him

venti: it's his initiation into the anemo club now that we know he's anemo

aether: LMFMOAO

kazuha: i cant drink flour :(

kazuha: ig its more like i cant eat it actually

lumine: HUH

kazuha: i dont think anyone should drink it that wouldnt be fun

scaramouche: itd probably be gross

kazuha: i could maybe like mix it in a smoothie or smth and mix it with smth

kazuha: i cant. you can

venti: i feel like it would feel like eating sand

kazuha: i eat sand a lot actually

venti pinned a message.

kazuha: thank you

kazuha: im going to cfa at 10am

venti: so happy for u

kazuha: a

lumine: kazuha are u experimenting with any drugs rn

kazuha: like

kazuha: i dont experiment tho i do

kazuha: its not an experiment bc science isnt my first language

lumine: are you doing any drugs rn

kazuha: im in a car

kazuha: not a car. my car

venti: are you driving

kazuha: not physically. but emotionally im on a michigan backroad looking for a 7/11

gorou: he's not on drugs driving just makes him nervous

kazuha: oh yes i forgot to say that

kazuha: bye 👋

venti's current struggle is mine btw i just bought an ancestry kit pls hope that i am not actually italian
ok real talk now. i cannot believe this absolute disaster has been out for an entire year now that's so insane. i've literally met my two best friends bc of this thing (love u guys <3). as some of u may know i am a haver of the 'tism (in normal terms: i'm autistic) and i decided to write this bc i had just gotten into genshin and was already so hyperfixated on it (i am stuck in its clutches forever) and i was like "hey this would be silly. i like chatfics and i like this game" and so i Wrote This and people actually like read it and that's so wow to me. thank u guys for all the love u make me very happy every time i update <3<3