Civil War doesn't happen.(kinda)

Tony opened the door for the Rouges. They had sat down and settled things like adults. Tony led the group around the compound, showing rach of them their rooms. As they walked around, they came to a living room.
They watched something fly into the vents quickly.
"What was that?" Cap asked  raising an eyebrow at the vents.
"That's my intern, he's kinda shy." Tony stated. "OI! Kid, the others are here." Tony told the kid in the vents.
"F*ck you, Stark!" A voice replied, shocking everyone. "Y'all better attend my funeral!" The voice continued, sounding slightly terrified. Natasha glanced at Clint. They both recognised the voice.
"Calm down, Ki-" Tony started, only to be interupted by Natasha.
"Pete." Natasha stated, earning surprised looks from Tony and Rhodey.
"How'd you know his name?" Rhodey asked. Natasha just shrugged, returning her gaze to the ceiling.
"F*ck you, Rhodey!" The voice grumbled. Clint had an expression that was a mix of smugness and concern for the spider child.
Slowly, a kid about 15 hopped down from the vents. He looked nervously at Natasha who was glaring at him. Peter gulped.
"Nat, calm down. He's just a k-" Tony started, again interupted by the ex-assasin.
"10." With that Peter bolted.
"Good luck, Pete!" Clint called after the boy. Natasha continued to count down, sprinting after the boy when she reached 1.
After a few minutes, an angry Natasha came back, dragging Peter behind her. Clint was laughing his ass off while everyone else had expresions of confusion.
"Clint, shut up. Everyone, this is my son, Peter Romanoff." Natasha stated, gesturing to Peter.
"Are you going to kill me?" Peter asked his mother. Natasha shook her head, causing Peter to relax.
"Well that makes sense." Tony stated. Peter eyes went wide and motioned for Tony to stop. "Now we know why Natasha and Spider-man have similar fighting techn-" Natasha's eyes widened, staring at Tony.
Peter bolted, screaming "F*ck you, Stark!" as he ran.
Luckily, there was no funeral to attend.