Ya'll know I suck at angst right?

Oh, you didn't know? Now you know ><

Btw. The italicized scenes are flashbacks ^^

--

BAEKHYUN

I laughed along with my son as I dashed towards the flowery field, with his thighs on my shoulders and his tiny hands grasping on my hair so he wouldn't fall from my back. He couldn't stop his cute scream and it's the most beautiful melody I'm hearing at the moment.

I could still remember how beautiful it is to hear her scream, the first time we met.

We were on a camp for a show and we're trailing our way towards the site through the forest before the filming. I could notice this one girl, one of the staffs, it's like she's panicking? Ever since we got out of the bus that brought us here, she has been fidgety and I don't know why I noticed such thing.

She was shy and no one was actually talking to her so I approached her.

"Hi, are you fine? You seem pale." I asked. She looked up to me slowly and her eyes widened for a second before she nodded shakily.

She looked behind me and saw that the others had walked first, leaving us two. "I- aaah!" I was so shock when she scream suddenly and hurriedly ran towards my back and pulled me in front of her as if I'm some kind of sheild that would protect her from monsters.

"What?! Is there something?!" I started panicking because of the way her body shakes and how scared she is.

She pointed at something so I quickly turned to look at it. "G-get that t-thing away-aaah! That's why I hate here!" and she screamed and grabbed me everywhere that I feel my clothes were being ripped apart.

It was some millipedes... A lot of them. And they're heading towards our direction.

I made sure she never heard me laugh a bit before I kicked the worms away from her. "Are you crying?"

"I'm j-just really scared at them. T-there are a l-lot of t-them on the way."

I couldn't help but smile before turning my back at her, taking my bag off to put it in front of me before kneeling down on the ground. "Get on my back."

"Huh?"

I tilted my head to glance at her, she was blushing and it was cute. "Get on my back or you're stepping them on our way there."

Without hesitation she leaned her body on my back and wrapped her arms on my neck. I held on to the back of her knees before I stood up and made sure she wouldn't fall. She isn't that heavy so this will be easy.

"My name is Baekhyun by the way." I broke the silence between us because I could feel her getting scared every time we walk pass a millipede on our way.

"I know, I'm a fan. I'm sorry if you have to do this. I must be so heavy. I hope your back won't hurt when we get there, you're a star."

"It's fine. And no, you aren't that heavy."

"Your back feels nice."

"Thank you."

I thought it will all end after getting into our destination.

But that is where our story began.

I placed my son down and let him run through the feild, his hands up in the air while he screams happily. I observed the way he ran at the same time watching his way so he wouldn't trip over something.

"Appa! Look! I could reach the sky!" he chanted happily while running back at me, hands still up.

I crouched down and met his figure running towards me with a hug. "Do you want to reach the sky?"

"Yes, appa!"

I pulled him up and placed him down on my nape, his thighs on the both sides of my shoulders and then I secured my hands on his waist. "Raise your arms up, buddy. Reach for the sky!" I told him and he did as I ran further towards the field.

"Waaaah!"

She was this excited when I lifted her. It's the closest thing I could do so she could reach the sky.

"Isn't the sky so lovely?" Y/n asked as her hand pointed above the sky. I glanced to where she was pointing and I couldn't help but admire how beautiful the sky is. It's as beautiful as my wife, my love, my everything.

"It's beautiful."

"Sometimes I really wished to reach the sky. I wanted to do that before I die." then her head shifted to look at me.

"I can fulfill that dream of yours." I pushed myself up from the ground we're laying at, confidently looking down at her figure still laying on the grassy field.

"How so?" she propped her elbows to support her weight.

"Well, it's not really that I could fulfill it but it's the closest to fulfill your dream of reaching the sky. Come on." I offered a hand to her and she gladly accepted it, I pulled her up to her feet.

We walked all the way to the middle of the meadow. I stopped, turned my back at her and kneeled down on the ground.

"What?" she seems confused.

"Get on my back."

She lets out a breathy short laugh before walking closer. "This reminds me of the first time we met. Wow, after all these years your voice still sounds the same saying the same words."

"I can't believe it either." I smiled at the memory of her getting scared because of the worms.

Y/n wrapped her arms on my neck and leaned her body on my back.

"Oh, baby. You're not going to reach the sky with a piggyback."

"Then how would you lift me?"

"You have to trust me." she got off me and I faced her with a reassuring smile. I beckoned her to come closer so she did. "Do you?"

"Of course." her giggles are enough to make my heart flutter. Soon after I felt her thighs on the either sides of my shoulders and her hands searching for mine. I quickly held them before standing up, earning a squeal from her.

"Ah! This is so high!"

"Open your eyes, baby."

When she did, I heard an amazed gasp escaping from her lips. Her tight grip on my hands loosened.

"Raise your arms up, baby. Reach for the sky!"

She lets go of my hand and mine went to secure themselves on her waist so she wouldn't fall.

"I can reach the sky!" Y/n yelled excitedly, like a child waving her hands up in the air.

It's so nice to see her this happy. What's nicer is that I'm causing her happiness, I was able to fulfill her dream.

"I love you Baekhyuuun!"

"I love you too!"

I let her reach the sky until the sun set.

"Look, buddy. The sun is setting. Let's head back to granny's."

"Aww."

I smiled at my son who's pouting. He never likes it when the day is over. For him, it means the end of such fun day.

"You can hop on my back."

"Yehet!" he hopped on my back happily. Arms around my neck and my hands on the back of his knees, securing him around me.

I started to trail the flowery road back to my mother's house. The quietness must've made my son sleepy.

"Appa?"

I hummed as a reply.

"Why do you like lifting me up?"

My lips twitched into a smile as I look back as to why... Why do I like lifting my son up?

"Baekhyunie."

"Yes, baby?"

"I can't reach the pasta inside the cupboard. Can you please get it for me?"

I rolled my eyes at Y/n playfully before following her to the kitchen where she's trying to make some food for me.

"There," she pointed to the cupboard where the pasta was. "Why do you even put it there when you know I can't reach them?"

I shrugged and said, "I just like seeing you being the shortie one." before walking pass her, I ruffled her hair. Y/n groaned and followed behind me. I do put those things high above her reach so she could always ask for me to get it. She's the cutest thing ever every time she asks me and I won't be tired of lifting her up so she could reach everything, forever.

"I'm not- YAH! BYUN BAEKHYUN!" she screamed when I lifted her small body up so easily and puts her on my back.

"Now you're not a shortie and you can reach that pasta."

"W-well, thank you." she gets the pasta. After that I put her down and grinned at her while she's glaring at me.

"Now you're a shortie again." I pinched her cheek before running away.

"I'M NOT A SHORTIE! COME BACK HERE YOU!"

----

"B-Baek..."

"Baby? Is there something wrong?" I started to panic after hearing Y/n's weak voice and hurried my way out of the practice room to talk to her privately.

"Help me... Baekhyun! I can't breathe! I can't feel them!"

"I'm coming for you, jagi! Hold on!"

I ran back to the practice room and was greeted by the members worriedly looking at me.

"I need to go home, right now! Something's wrong with Y/n." I took my coat, didn't waited for the members to answer and just dashed out of the room and out of SM building.

"Y/n! Jagi where are you!" I yelled as soon as I reached home.

I searched for her and found her sitting on the floor behind the couch. She was crying, having a hard time breathing while hitting her legs using her clenched fists.

"Baek, I can't feel my legs! I don't know why! Baekhyun please help me!"

"I'm here now, don't cry." I took her in my arms and ran back to the car to bring her to the nearest hospital.

Pacing back and forth, I waited for the doctor to come out of Y/n's room. The moment the door opened my eyes snapped at the man who went out and immediately approached him.

"How's my wife?"

As the doctor explained to me what happened to Y/n, I felt my blood leaving my body at every words the doctor released only to tell me what's wrong with my love.

When the doctor left. I remained outside Y/n's room. Thinking deeply about the whole situation. I glanced at Y/n through a small glass window on the door of her room and saw that she's already awake, tilting her head left and right with a confused look on her beautiful face that had turned pale.

I breathed out a good amount of air before setting my hand on the door knob. Y/n needs me. Keep yourself together, Baekhyun. I thought, before I twisted the knob that opened the door. The first thing I did after Y/n snapped her gaze at me is to smile at her. As if nothing's wrong with her.

"I thought you," she paused only to let out a sob. "You left."

"Hey, hey." I rushed to her side and embraced her. Pushing her head gently to rest it on my shoulder. "Don't say that. I'm never leaving you."

"I know about what's wrong with me." she pushed me away and wiped her own tears using the back of her hand. "Baek, please make yourself happy. Leave me and find someone else to be with. That will make you completely happy and someone who is capable of giving you the children you always dreamed to have."

"No, Y/n. I'm not leaving you." I pulled her closer to me and hugged her really tight. Too tight that she won't be able to push me away. My heart started cracking at her weak and sad voice, telling me to leave her. "No matter what will happen to you, even if you won't be able to walk forever. I will always be here to lift you up and bring you to the places you like. Because I vowed to stay with you, to be with you, and I won't ever break that."

Y/n cried even harder and hugged me back tightly.

Weeks passed. The doctors said that Y/n had to stay in the hospital and I agreed to it since I won't be able to watch over her if she stays at home since we just started our tour for EXplOration.

I promised myself that after this tour, I'm taking a break to take care of my wife. I know EXO-Ls will understand me since SM, Y/n and I agreed to let the fans know about her condition and ever since, I've been receiving endless prayers for Y/n's fast recovery. I'm so thankful to have such nice fans who supported me.

Before another concert in Japan, we were given a week of free time. Usually to prepare and rehearsals. But I chose to go home first to get some things and then go to the hospital to stay with Y/n until then.

The moment I reached the house, my brows met in the middle out of confusion after seeing that the door isn't locked. Meaning someone's inside? I quickly entered the house but carefully since I don't know who might be inside.

I reached the kitchen and when I saw a familiar small figure facing the kitchen sink, I sighed in relief.

"Jagi, how did you get in here?" I asked. Y/n turned around and ran towards me. "Oh, slow down lady. Remember you are not allowed to exert so much energy at everything."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and embraced me. "I miss you so much."

My hands went down on her waist and pulled her closer. "Not as much as I do, baby." I rested my head on top of hers.

Y/n's condition changed everything. She is not allowed to exhaust herself and do so much that the only thing she is allowed to do is to take a quick stroll around the hospital and just sit or lay down the whole day. Her bones are now weak that there are times it's hard for her to walk straight.

Right after getting out of the bathroom from a relaxing shower, I immediately saw Y/n behind the couch. Clutching on the backrest, trying to stand straight. I rushed to her side and held her up by encircling an arm around her waist.

"Are you okay?! Should I bring you back to the hospital?"

"No, it's just them. Weakening again." she groaned and mumbled something I didn't catch as she started hitting her own legs in attempt to feel them again.

"Stop that." my other hand slid all the way down to the back of her knees and then I lifted her up, earning a squeal from her. "Whenever your legs will feel weak, I'll be your feet. So, where shall my queen wanted to go?"

Y/n giggled ever so cutely before pressing a kiss on my cheek. "I'd like to go to the bedroom please."

"As my queen wish."

I brought her to our bedroom and laid her down gently on the bed. But even before I could stand straight after putting her down, her arms encircled around my neck suddenly and then she pulled me down until our lips met. At first, I was surprised at her action that I froze above her but few seconds after moved my lips against her gently as I made my way above her.

We made out for awhile and finally Y/n broke the kiss when she needed to breathe. I leaned my forehead against her while her breath fanned against my face.

"Baekhyun, make love to me." she managed to whisper while breathing loudly.

"Baby, you're not allowed to get exhausted. You know that."

"I won't be, I promise. I need you, I really, really need you right now." desperation filled her voice as she spoke every word. I do need her too. Very much. But considering her condition, this is a very crucial decision to make.

I thought about it deeply before agreeing.

And all through the night, she was exhausted but never had an attack of her illness. I was glad and we managed to make love, twice.

The next three days after. I could notice that Y/n no longer could walk unlike when I just came home. I'd carry her to the places around the house where she needs to or just like to. I'm starting to worry since it is weird. Whenever her legs would feel weak that she can't feel them, few hours after they will return back to normal that would able Y/n to walk again. But it has been three days and she still can't feel them.

"I think we should head back to the hospital, jagi." I muttered while carrying her on ny back all the way to the living room.

I placed her down on the couch and when I faced her, that's when she spoke. "Why?"

"It's been three days since the last time you felt your legs. Isn't that supposed to be weird?"

Y/n agreed and I quickly took her back to the hospital.

"Her illness is getting worse. Sadly, she can no longer walk."

What the doctor told me keeps on ringing inside my head as I entered Y/n's room. There she was, sitting on the bed and crying again.

"You really have to leave me now, Baek. I'm useless."

"Don't say that. You are not useless, you are my happiness. I need you, Y/n. So I could feel alive everyday. Don't you ever say that. I will never be tired to carry you until forever. Keep that in mind, Y/n."

Since my love can no longer walk. I'd be the one to carry her to the places she'd like to visit. And my supportive members would sometimes gladly do my job for me when I'm not around. The hours of carrying her turned into a day since the doctor told me that she can never walk again. It saddened me but I never thought of leaving Y/n. No matter what will happen to her.

After that 1 week break given to us. We are back to leave Korea for an overseas concert. Y/n had to stay in the hospital again but I never missed a night without calling her and checking on her. Of course I'd never forget to tell her how much I love her every time I had a time to do so.

Until I was called and was asked to return urgently because something happened to her and is needed to be discussed. Right after the concert I flew back home first and left the members to stay for one night before going back.

Even when I'm already exhausted after the flight, I still made my way to the hospital to talk about what happened to Y/n.

"Your wife is pregnant."

My eyes bulged in surprise and my breath got stuck in my throat. "What?"

"It's the good part of this discussion. However, the worst part is that you have to choose between your wife and your child."

"But why? And what does it mean?"

"You wife has a chance to live and can walk again if she receives this treatment. But since she's pregnant, she can't as the medicine will harm the baby." the doctor continued scanning the paper he's holding. Then he lifted his eyes up to my confused face. "You have to choose between them. If you choose your wife, we will have to remove the baby and continue with the treatment. If you choose your child, she can have it until she gives birth but the thing is,"

"Is what?"

"She might die."

I took a deep breath while trying to think straight. My mind is blank and my heart is hurting every second at the thought of losing Y/n.

I went to Y/n's room and found her bed empty I started to panic not until I heard the bathroom door opened and she went out, supporting herself up by holding tight on the door knob.

"Jagi, why didn't you waited for me?" I ran towards her and carried her in my arms, groaning slightly as I lift her up. "Wow, you're getting heavy." I made way back to her bed and placed her down gently.

"It's because of our baby."

She took my hand and placed it on her belly. I blinked furiously, fighting back the tears that are threatening to fall.

"Baekhyun."

"Yes, baby?"

"Whatever may happen to me, please choose our child." her other hand went to my jaw and forced my face to look at her eyes, seeing it teary. "Even if it means losing me, love. Choose him. Take care of him and be the best father to him."

I couldn't help it anymore and cried as I pulled her closer to me and encircled my arms around her small body. "I can't live without you."

"You can, Baekhyun. I'll be watching you, always."

I begged SM that I'll be taking care of my wife until she gives birth to our son and exclude me from any EXO activities for the mean time. I wanted to spend the rest of the days with Y/n, while she's still here. Alive and is able to love me.

Y/n was sent back home since I'm already free to take care of her. I never let any days be boring as we spend time together. As always, I'd be lifting her up and carry her to every part of the house if she asks me to. I got used to it and it became at part of my life but I had to stop when her belly started growing because of our baby inside.

"What would you like to name our son?" I asked and handed her the glass of milk. I sat on the chair placed beside the wheelchair where she is currently seated as we watched the stars above the sky.

"Uhm, I wanted his name to have your Baek or Hyun. Any name as long as it contains those."

I took a sip on my hot choce before humming as I thought of a name. "Baekhun? It is the closest to mine."

"Sehyun?"

"Ah! It's like you're just mixing up my name with Sehun! No."

"Chanbaek?"

"No!"

"Kyunghyun?"

"Y/n. No."

"Daehyun! From Jongdae and-"

"No!"

Then we were suddenly quiet for awhile.

"Let's just go with Baekhun." she muttered and I nodded in agreement before my hand trailed its way to her belly, earning a kick from our son.

"Hello there, Byun Baekhun."

----

I breathed out as I paced back and forth outside Y/n's room. I want to see her but knowing that she's in so much pain and looking lifeless, I think I can't handle such view.

But I must stay beside her all the time. I inhaled a good amount of air and breathed out loudly before opening the door and stepped inside her room.

"B-Baek... Hyunie." she whispered weakly, reaching out her hand to touch my face. I didn't stopped myself from tearing up as I took her hand and pressed it on my cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, Y/n. Always." I bent over to kiss her on the lips that made her smile as a tear escaped her beautiful eyes. "Please don't leave me."

"I will never, Baekhyun."

"Live for me, for us."

"I'm tired."

I choked a sob as I embraced her. The room was filled with cries the whole time. The boys came to see Y/n and also cried with us, realizing that I'm losing the loveliest person that came into our lives. Y/n had made her own special place in our hearts.

The time came where she will be giving birth to our son. As I held her hand, I can see she's struggling but remained strong. Until the most awaited cry was heard.

They wrapped Baekhun in a blanket and handed him to me. I teared up seeing him looking so much like me.

"Jagi, Baekhun is here." I grinned and showed Baekhun to Y/n. But my smile dropped when she didn't responded. Her eyes are closed and she seems not breathing.

That's when I heard a long static sound coming from a monitor beside her. It has been going on since Baekhun came but I failed to hear because of the baby's loud cries.

"Y/n-ah! Baby wake up!" I reached for her cheek and poked it ever so gently. "Doctor! It's normal to pass out after giving birth isn't it?! I searched about it before this very day came! Y/n just passed out, didn't she?!" my mind is lost and whole body is shaking, my knees are weakening. But remembering that I have my son in my arms, I shouldn't fall down.

"You've been warned about this, Mr. Byun."

"No! No! That's not true! She hasn't seen Baekhun!" I gave my son to a nurse beside me and shook Y/n's body. "Baby! Baekhun is here. You need to open your eyes and see him!" I cried even louder and kept shaking Y/n but she didn't even responded.

The nurses around me kept still on their places, head hung low.

"No, you're not gone." I whispered, the moment I calmed down from crying.

The doctor placed a hand on my shoulder and I squeezed my eyes shut to let the remaining tears fall before I nodded.

"Mrs. Byun Y/n, passed away at 05:06 PM."

It became a part of my life to lift my wife up and be the reason why she's on one place to another. Ever since she left, something feels missing as I go on living with my life.

It was lifting her up.

That's why I like lifting my son, carrying him. For he fulfilled my longing to feel Y/n in my arms or on my back. It was sad losing the love of my life, but I have to be strong for Baekhun. Our own blood and flesh. A peice of Y/n left in this world and in my sad story.

"Hunnie!"

"Samchooon!"

Spotting the members standing on the porch of my mother's house, Baekhun wiggled on my back and I crouched to put him down before excitedly running towards the rest of EXO.

"There's my favorite boy!" Sehun greeted Baekhun's running figure and knocked him down after bumping Baekhun's small body on Sehun's. They laid down of the floor while the rest of us laughed.

Our fate might have ended sadly, but that doesn't mean this story is going to be sad forever. As long as I have EXO and my family with me, I can smile again.

Not to mention having my son and Y/n who's watching us as what she told me.

--

I dunno how to end this so... sorry. i never teared up writing my own imagines but this one is too much :"<

I accept criticisms! If you think something is wrong with my imagines or they suck. Feel free to tell me so I could improve my writing ^^

Send endless love to Baekhyun! He's been getting hates on twitter 😢

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