I sat in the front seat with Sam as we drove to wherever they decided we were going tonight. The van was silent the entire time; feeling very far from a celebration. I peeked back in the rearview mirror to see Jake in the back, eyes glued out the window.

"Alright, you party animals." Sam said sarcastically as he parked the van. "We're here. Don't have too much fun." I looked out the window to see he had brought us to a bar. Of course.

Josh, Danny, and Jake all hopped out of the backseat, making their way inside. Sam lit a cigarette before going inside. I hung back with him.

"You can hang with me tonight, if you want." He said, taking a drag. "I already know they're probably gonna get.. annoyingly wasted. And that's coming from me." He laughed, smiling over at me. My cheeks burned as I looked inside. Jake was already at the bar, drink in hand.

"Thanks, Sam." I said, smiling back at him. He nodded.
"I've been stuck between their fighting my entire life. I know how it feels." He said. "Well, kinda. I guess this is a little different." He giggled to himself. I smirked.
"Yeah.." I sighed, looking back inside.
"It'll be okay. Just let him get it out of his system.. and then you two will be fine."
"I.. I don't know." I said softly. "It felt.. different this time. He's already been so patient with me. And I didn't even deserve it then. But after everything.. with the pregnancy scare and being in the hospital and then the ring, I just.. I thought.. we were finally.. done. But then of course this had to come back and ruin everything."
"And I think he knows that. Just.. give him some space tonight. It'll be okay."

I really hoped he was right.

"Alright, let's head in." He said. "It's freezing out here." He reached over, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he lead us inside.

As we walked in, I saw Josh quickly turn to face us. He flashed me a subtle smile, two drinks in hand.
"Here.." He said, handing one to me. I looked down at it, then back to him.
"So you're talking to me now?" I asked. He shrugged.
"I guess I am." He sighed, his smile growing. I felt my cheeks burn as I took the drink, taking a sip.
"Thanks." I said, peeking over at Jake, who was leaning against the bar, his back purposely faced toward us.
"I wouldn't talk to him right now." Josh said. "He's not doing great." I bit down on my lip, looking away, feeling my heart race.

He was the only one I wanted to talk to right now.

Sam leaned down, whispering into my ear.
"You okay here? Danny and I are gonna go grab a table, if you want.." He said. I peeked over at Josh.
"I'm okay, thanks." I said. He nodded, heading towards the booths in the back of the bar.

"You wanna sit?" Josh asked, motioning towards the tables. I bit down on my lip, peeking over at Jake who still paid us no mind. I nodded, and he lead us to a table on the opposite side of the bar. I made sure to sit on the side where I could still see Jake. It looked like he had already started making friends with everyone around him. I turned to Josh, who was already looking back at me, his eyes dazed, leaning back in his chair.

"We did look good together." He said softly, taking a sip. My cheeks burned.
"Don't do this." I said, looking back over at Jake.
"Don't do what?" He asked.
"You know what.." I said, looking down. He sighed.
"Well, you saw us. There's no denying-"
"There is denying, Josh." I snapped. "I love Jake, and now.. I never should have done the video. I wanted to help you guys but.. it's ruined everything." He bit down on his lip, holding his stare on me. I felt my heart race the longer he stared.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." He said softly. "But you and I both know that wasn't acting."
"Yes it was." I lied, looking away.
"Well, I don't believe you." He said plainly.
"It doesn't matter. Because the video is out now, everyone's already seen, and because of you, everyone thinks we're together, and now Jake wants nothing to do with me."

"I just.. I don't get what's so wrong with me. What's so bad about the idea of being with me? When.. you even said it yourself.. you do love me. So, why are you fighting it? Maybe Jake wants nothing to do with you, but Jess, I love y-"
"Josh, stop." I said, my heart racing. "I.. I can't do this." I got up, and went back over to find Sam and Danny on the other side of the bar.

"Hey, you okay?" Sam said, getting up.
"I'm fine." I sighed, sitting down next to Danny. "I just.. w-what are you guys drinking?" Danny smirked.
"Don't worry, Sam will get you one." Sam nodded, heading over to the bar. When he came back, he put down three more glasses on the table. I grabbed one without hesitation, taking a big sip.
"Woah.." He laughed. "You may want to slow down. Don't you want to know what it is?" I shook my head.
"I really don't care tonight." I sighed, looking back over at the bar.

"Hey.. don't think about him right now." Sam said. "Despite everything that happened.. you really did a great job. The video looked awesome. Probably one of our best. So, if anything.. thanks for helping us out. It meant a lot." I felt my cheeks burn, a small smile escaping from my lips.
"Thanks." I said. "I just wish I could enjoy it."

He sighed, looking over at Jake, and then back to me.
"Come on.." He said, grabbing my hand.
"W-where are we going?" I asked. He smirked down at me as he pulled me up, and lead me over towards the dance floor. I felt my heart start to beat faster.
"We're gonna dance, and you're gonna have fun, cause.. you deserve to celebrate.. just as much as he is." He said simply, pulling me closer. I stared up at him. He laughed, shaking his head.

"It's okay, you don't have to make it weird. I'm basically your brother.. it's only a matter of time, right?" He said, spinning me around. I laughed.
"I'm not so sure anymore." I sighed.
"He'll come around. Don't worry."

And then the hours flew by like minutes as the empty glasses began to pile up at the edge of our table. The room felt like it was spinning, and I couldn't tell if it was from the drinks or the dancing.

By now, most of the bar has begun to clear out. I wondered what time it was. I looked around and didn't see Josh anywhere, and hadn't even noticed that Danny had left us alone. By the end of the night, it was just Sam and I left at the booth, and Jake at the bar surrounded by whatever friends he had made throughout the night. I peeked over when I heard his laugh, bellowing above everyone else's.

I would know that laugh anywhere.

Sam caught me staring and smirked at me.
"Go ahead." He said, motioning towards Jake. "I think he's had enough time." I smiled back at him.
"Thank you for tonight, Sam." I sighed, gently touching his hand. He nodded, and motioned towards Jake again.
"Go on.." He laughed. I sighed, feeling a knot form in my stomach. Even still, Jake made me nervous, but even more so right now. Just from the way he was leaning up against the bar, I could tell he was wasted, and I knew this wasn't going to go well at all. I felt sick.

"Jake.." I said, gently touching his arm. He turned to face me, his drunken smile dropping as soon as his eyes met mine.
"Oh.." He said. My heart dropped. He was barely able to hold his bloodshot eyes open.
"Oh?" I asked. He bit down on his lip, holding his stare on me. "I.. I thought you didn't want to go out to celebrate tonight." I said. He shrugged, grabbing his drink and taking another big sip.

"Yeah, well.." He said, turning around to face me, leaning up against the bar to hold him up. "After what I saw tonight, I figured I'd congratulate you two. Everyone thinks you and Josh are together now so I might as well be the one to back off. Figures I come second to him.. again." He tilted his glass back, finishing the rest of his drink. Turning around, he slammed down his glass, tapping the top, asking for another.

My heart sunk.
"Jake, you know that's not true." I said, grabbing a hold of the barstool for balance.
"Clearly I'm the one standing between you two.. so go. Go be with him. It's obviously what you both want." He said, turning back to me, taking another sip of his drink, staring me down.
"Jake.. you said.. you wanted us to be together forever. And.. I.. I want that too. I want you. I only want to be with you."
"Yeah, until it comes to him. So.. I'll make it easy for you. I'm setting you free. Go ahead. Be with him. Finally." He sighed, finishing off his drink. I was surprised he could even hold himself up.
"Jake.." I managed, feeling tears come to my eyes. "You.. You don't mean that." He looked away as I saw tears fill his eyes too. I finally nodded, wiping my face.

"Fine." I said. "If that's what you want." He peeked back at me as I took off his ring, placing it in his hand. "I'll just.. I'll go." He stared back at me wide-eyed as I quickly made my way out of the bar and back to the bus. The second my face hit the cold air, I couldn't hold it in anymore. The tears fell, the crying turned to sobs as I leaned back against the bus. I couldn't go back in looking like this, and the last thing I wanted to do was tell anyone what had happened. I was still in denial.

I cried until it felt like there was nothing left. I was empty. I wondered if this is how Jake felt the first time we broke up. But.. I couldn't help but feel like.. this was it. This wasn't just a break.

And like clockwork, the bus door opened.
"Jess.." I heard. Peeking up, I saw Sam quickly making his way over. "Hey.. what happen-" He caught himself, biting down on his lip. He had figured it out on his own.

"I'm.. I'm sorry." He said softly, wrapping his arms around me. And then I felt another wave of tears overcome me. I held on tight, hiding my face in his chest. He held me close, gently rubbing my back.
"It'll be okay." He whispered. "I know it feels like the end of the world right now. But.. it'll be okay. I promise." I held on tight, trying my best to calm down, but it was no use. He sighed, taking my hand and lead me back onto the bus. I held my head down, not wanting to face anyone, but thankfully both Josh and Danny had already gone to bed.

"They're sleeping." He whispered, leading me to his bunk. He pushed the curtain open and pulled out a few pieces of dirty clothes, tossing them onto the floor.
"Here." He said softly. "You can stay here tonight." I wiped my face, staring back up at him.
"Thank you." I whispered, climbing up into his bunk.

Because the last place I wanted to stay was anywhere I had ever shared with Jake.

"It's no problem. I can stay on the couch or something. It's fine." He said, now looking through one of his bags. "I.. I don't know what you'd be more comfortable in but.. if you want to change, you can have this." He said, tossing one of his sweaters onto his bunk. My cheeks burned.
"T-thanks." I said. He giggled to himself, going over to the couch.
"You can change, I'm not looking." He said. I smirked, wiping my face again before changing into his sweater, tossing my shirt onto the floor. I climbed up into his bunk as he turned off the main light, leaving the floor lights on for Jake for when he eventually decided to come back to the bus.

I sat up, looking over at Sam as he cleared off the couch, stealing a pillow out of Jake's bunk, and plopping down.

"Sam.." I said quietly. He turned to face me, giving me a subtle smile.
"Everything okay?" He asked. I bit down on my lip, nodding.
"Could you.. stay in here with me?" I asked, feeling my cheeks burn. He held his stare on me for a moment, and eventually sat back up.
"I don't think that would be a good idea." He giggled to himself. I nodded, wiping my face.
"Okay.." I said softly, reaching for the curtain. Then I heard him sigh.
"Unless.." He said. I stopped, peeking back out at him.

"Unless you.. insist." He said, making his way over to the bunk. He propped his head up, staring back up at me with a gentle smile.
"It's just.. I just don't want to be alone tonight." I whispered.
"Okay." He sighed, climbing up. My heart started beating faster as I shifted over towards the window. I cuddled into his arms, laying my head on his chest.

"Just try not to cry on me too much." He laughed, gently running his fingers through my hair.
"I'll do my best." I sighed, feeling my eyelids get heavy.

And just as the bus door opened, Sam quickly closed his curtain.