Josh's P.O.V

"He's looking over here." I said, keeping my eyes locked on Amy, taking a sip of my drink. Her smile grew.
"Is he?" She asked, smirking back at me.
"Don't look though, we're supposed to be into each other." She laughed, rolling her eyes.
"No offense, Josh, but you're not my type." She said plainly.
"Don't worry, you're not my type either." I said, taking another sip of my drink.

Amy and I had talked a little after her and Jake broke up, but only because she wanted to know what was really going on between them. Jake was pretty vague when he ended things with her, which even I thought was weird considering how long they had been dating, but even I didn't know what happened.

And he told me everything. 

I finally saw Jess turn around, and my cheeks burned. Amy smirked at me, shaking her head.
"What's so special about this girl?" She asked, crossing her arms. I shrugged, looking away.
"I don't wanna talk about it." I sighed.
"Well, it concerns me too, she stole my boyfriend." She snapped.
"She didn't steal anything, Amy. Jake broke up with you before he left."
"And then magically started dating her.. immediately?" She asked. She did have a point. And Jake wasn't someone who jumped from relationship to relationship. But I guess when you know you know.

And I knew that I knew.

"He's looking back at her." I said quietly, staring down at my feet, kicking at the rocks surrounding us. "And... now they're leaving." 

Amy quickly turned around and watched as Jake took Jess by the hand, leading her over to the picnic table with Ronnie and Danny. I'm sure I'd get a mouthful from Ronnie about this.

"So what's the plan?" Amy asked, looking back at me, her face angry and her cheeks red with jealousy.
"The plan is to make Jess realize that she was actually supposed to be with me." I said. Amy scrunched up her face, staring back at me angrily.
"And what about me?" She asked. I sighed, looking back over at them.
"And then maybe if she leaves Jake, you can have him back for yourself." Her face relaxed and her lips curled into a smile.
"Good." She said simply. She moved next to me, leaning against the fence so she could get a better look at the two of them. 

"Are they ever not touching?" She asked, her tone getting angrier. I shook my head.
"No, and it's awful." I sighed. Amy reached over, moving her hand up and down my arm. I felt my cheeks burn as I instantly remembered that first night of tour, sitting next to Jess on the couch in the bar. I gently moved away, my face dropping.

"Well, how do you expect to make them jealous if I can't even touch you?" She asked. I bit down on my lip.
"I don't know." I said plainly. "But we're not doing that."

I only wanted to make her jealous, I didn't want to drive her away completely. And I knew if Jess had suspected anything seriously going on with me and Amy, it would only drive her further into Jake's arms.

"What is she doing?" Amy asked. I snapped out of it, looking back over at them. Jess got up from her side of the table and sat close to Jake, reaching up and holding his face in her hands and pulled him into a kiss. 

I felt my heart drop.

What I would give to have her kiss me like that; to look at me the way she looked at him, even just for a moment. I could feel my heart start to race and my stomach ache. He looked back at her, flashing her a huge smile. Whenever they were together, it was like they were the only two people in the world, and it made me sick. He reached back over, pulling her into another kiss.

I finally had to look away.

I could see Amy still staring over at them, her face dropping and her eyes sad. I'm sure this wasn't easy on her either. I knew how much she loved Jake, how much she probably still loved Jake. 

Her and I probably had more in common then we wanted to admit.

"He's looking." She said softly, not breaking her stare. She bit down on her lip, holding in tears.
"I know. It sucks." I whispered. She nodded, crossing her arms. Peeking back at them, I saw Jess's smile grow as she leaned in, kissing him on the cheek. He reached over, running his fingers through her hair. 

I thought back to the night her and I sat up in my bunk watching the lights of the city fly by. Everything felt so right, and it killed me to think that she didn't see those moments with me in the same way. I wondered what was going through her mind when she leaned in, holding my face in her hands. Those few moments, just staring into her eyes felt like forever; a forever that I would replay over and over in my mind as I'd try to fall asleep alone in my bunk every night.

"I can't watch this anymore. Come on." I said, taking her hand and leading her down the dirt path towards the lake.
"Where are we going?" She asked, struggling to catch up.
"I just need to get away from this." I sighed. She stayed quiet for a few minutes as I guided her down the path into the woods. I quickly walked passed the lake, avoiding looking over. It was ruined after hearing how that's where Jake took Jess to tell her he loved her. 

So many things ruined with the idea of Jess and Jake.

I finally stopped as we basically looped around the woods, seeing the house again off in the distance.
"Can you just tell me.. what it is?" Amy said softly. "So I know what I'm up against." I felt my stomach drop. I knew exactly how she felt. I questioned every day what it was that made Jess pick Jake over me.

"I.. I wish I had a straightforward answer, but I don't." I said, crossing my arms and looking away. I could see more lights turning on in the house and smoke coming from the chimney. Everyone was probably going inside.

"She's just.. she's real. She doesn't care about.. any of this." I said, waving my hand around. "She didn't even want to be seen with Jake when they first got together because she didn't want people to see her as just another girl following a rock band. She's.. she's kind and sweet and thoughtful and caring and.. gentle, but honest. She knows who she is.. and I just feel like.. I can talk to her, and I don't have to censor myself..." I trailed off.

"What is it?" Amy asked.
"But she told me.. she thinks I'm.. too much." I said quietly, looking back down at the ground. "She said.. she's scared that if she was ever with me, I'd move on just as fast as we got together, which.. isn't true at all. But she didn't even give me a chance to show her." Amy nodded, staying quiet.

We stood in silence for a moment with each other.

"I thought Jake and I were going to get married." She finally said. My stomach dropped. Jake didn't talk to me much about Amy, but he did tell me.. he didn't see himself marrying her. He said he knew his person was out there.. but it wasn't her.

Deep down, I knew there was no chance of Jake getting back together with Amy, but I couldn't tell her that. Not now.

"We should head back." I finally said as I started walking back towards the house. She quietly followed behind me. When we reached the back door, Amy walked in first where we found my mom at the kitchen counter finishing up the dishes. I looked around, not seeing Jess or Jake anywhere. My cheeks burned. 

They were in his room.

"Oh, hello Amy. Long time no see." Mom said, shooting me a look. I pretended not to notice. "Jake isn't here right now." Amy hesitated, obviously hurt.

"That's okay, I'm not here to see Jake." She said as cheerily as she possibly could.
"I invited her over." I said, sitting down at the counter. "Her and I have been talking for a little while so we've been catching up." I said, getting louder. If they were in Jake's room, I knew they'd be listening now.

"Oh.." Mom said, her eyes darting back to me. I bit down on my lip, my eyes getting wider. "Well.. I hope you've been well."

"I have. Josh has been telling me all about their tour, and he said it would be fun to join them, so he invited me to come on the road with them too."

My heart dropped. We had never talked about that. But now I guess I had to run with it. Mom stared back at me wide-eyed, flashing me a forced smile.

"Oh, you're going with them?" Mom asked, doing her best to sound neutral.
"Yeah, Josh said it would be fun. Apparently they have plenty of room." She said simply. Where was this coming from? We had only talked about being seen together tonight. Amy coming with us could completely ruin everything with Jess.

Then I heard a door slam and Jake stormed into the kitchen. I couldn't help but smile. I knew he would be listening.

"What's going on?" He snapped. I flashed him a smile until I saw Jess following him close behind. My smile quickly faded as my heart began to race. The idea of her coming out of his room with him. The last thing I wanted to do was think about them together, or the extent of.. how they've been together.

"I figured, since you can have someone with you on tour, why can't I?" I asked smugly. Jake's face got angrier, his cheeks even redder.
"Because she's working." He said sternly. "You know it's different." 

I knew it was different, and I hated that it wasn't even my idea, but now I had to play along. This whole plan was already getting away from me. I couldn't let Amy be the reason I lost Jess all together.

"I just don't see how it's fair that you can have your girlfriend, but no one else can." I said, feeling my stomach drop; I was implying Amy was my girlfriend.

Jake shot Amy a look, to which she returned a condescending smile. I could tell she was getting such satisfaction in knowing how angry she was making Jake. 

And that's where her and I differed.

"I figured Amy could stay in the back room with Jess. There's plenty of room back there. It's huge." I said, crossing my arms and leaning back in my chair. Maybe this would get him out of there. If the two of them were together there wouldn't be any room for him anymore. It killed me hearing them in there together every night, and them always locking the door behind them was the icing on the cake.

"Seriously?" Jake snapped. I shrugged.
"Why, what's wrong with that?" I asked.

"She's not coming with us. She doesn't do anything." He wasn't wrong. I really had no idea what Amy could contribute, but I was too deep into this lie now.

"Well, I'm sure there's something she could do." I said simply, turning to Amy. "We've been looking for a new merch girl, haven't we?" Jake rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"We're fine with who we have."
"Well, I already told her she can come. So I guess we're just gonna have to figure it out, aren't we?"

"What's wrong, Jake?" Amy said. "You don't want me hanging out with your new girlfriend? How convenient you already had someone new lined up as soon as you left."

I could feel the pain in Amy's voice; it was never easy when the person you love is able to move on so fast, especially when you're still alone. But.. Jake didn't do anything wrong.

"Oh, shut up, Amy." Jake snapped. Amy's eyes went wide and her face dropped, her eyes filling with tears again. I wondered if seeing this side of Jake was making Jess feel any type of way. I peeked over at her while they argued, but she didn't seem to budge. Her eyes stayed locked on Jake as she leaned on the doorway. I sighed.

"I can't believe this is happening." Jake sighed. "We broke up. Why are you still bothering me?"

"I'm not here to bother you." Amy said with a smile, moving her chair closer to me. My cheeks burned. What was she doing? I made it clear we weren't going to be doing anything like this, especially in front of Jess.

"Josh and I have been talking for a while now, why wouldn't I want to come with him?" She asked.
"For a while now huh?" Jess chimed in. My heart dropped. A while would mean that her and I would have been talking before that night in the bar with Jess and I. I couldn't have her thinking that.

"Not too long ago, but for a bit." I said, cutting off Amy, avoiding her eyes. I could feel her glaring at me, but I ignored her.
"It'll be fun." I said. "We could double date." Ugh, why did I say that? Stupid, stupid, stupid.. 

Jake stood there for a moment, glaring back at me until he finally stormed off outside. Jess quickly followed him as he made his way through the backyard.

I felt like I was going to be sick. Jake and I had never fought like this. Never in a million years did I ever think anything would come between us like this. He was my best friend and I hated that this is what it was coming to. Amy reached her hand over, but I quickly pulled away, hopping down from the counter chair and making my way out the front door towards the tour bus. I heard Amy following me close behind, my Mom coming outside after us. 

"Please.. think about what you're doing." Mom said quietly as she pulled me into a tight hug. "Remember who matters here." I bit my lip, not sure of what to say. But I nodded, and made my way up the stairs of the bus, plopping down on the couch. 

Then I could hear Mom talking to Jake and Jess outside.

"You make him so happy." She said to her. There was a short silence.
"He makes me happy too." Jess said. I could hear the smile in her voice. I quickly looked away and placed my arm around Amy's shoulder as Jess made her way up the stairs. Jess flashed me a look, and then followed Jake into the backroom, shutting the door behind her.

I quickly pulled my arm away from Amy. She glared up at me.
"How are we supposed to make this work if you won't even touch me?" She said. I shot her a look.
"What was that in there?" I snapped. "I never invited you on the tour. Now Jess is going to think this is actually something, and it's never going to work. I swear, if you ruined this whole thing.."
"This isn't just about you, you know?" She said, her face getting angrier. "This is about me too." I rolled my eyes looking back towards the backroom door.

Any time they were alone, my mind was sent into a whirlwind. They were the last thing I wanted to think about, but they were the only thing on my mind. I hated not knowing what was going on, but I think knowing for sure would make me lose my mind.

And then I heard the door lock.