I felt my face get hot, tears come to my eyes as Travis held his glare on me.
"You don't know anything about me." I choked, avoiding his eyes. "I'm not like that anymore." He sighed, rolling his eyes.
"I know you well enough. People don't change. And if someone like him is interested in you, then he has no idea who he's dating." My stomach dropped.

Travis was right. There was a lot that Jake didn't know about me, but this was finally my chance to leave all of that behind. There was no reason he had to know about any of that. I wasn't her anymore.

I pushed past him, quickly making my way back towards the main area of the venue when I felt his hand tightly grasp my wrist, yanking me back.
"Don't just walk away from me." He snapped. I pulled my arm back, glaring up at him.
"I don't owe you anything anymore!" I yelled, backing away. "And.. I'm never coming back here."
"Jess, this is your family!" He yelled back, his face inches from mine.
"No, he's my family! And.. I'm not going to keep doing this to him." I cried, pushing him away.

When I got back out, I could see Jake talking to my dad over by the bar, another drink in hand. My heart started beating faster, not sure what I was about to walk into.
"Ready to go?" I asked, taking his hand. He looked down at me with bloodshot eyes, his face flushed pink.
"Sure." He sighed, his face dropping. I quickly shot my dad a look, who's face remained neutral. What was going on?
"We'll.. see you back at the apartment?" I asked. Dad nodded, looking back over at Jake. My cheeks burned as I reached over, taking the glass out of Jake's hand, placing it down on the bar.
"Come on." I said, tightening my grip, and leading him out of the venue.

He was silent the entire walk back, avoiding my eyes every time I peeked up at him. When we got to our building, I guided him up the stairs, doing my best to hold him up despite his drunken wobbling. I tried my hardest to hide my disappointment. All I wanted was one good night with him at my place, but apparently even that was too much to ask for.

As I opened the door, he wobbled in, catching his balance on one of the end tables. I sighed, hanging up my coat on the hanger, going over to him.
"Here, let me help you." I said softly, unzipping his jacket, maneuvering his arms out of his sleeves. After hanging his up next to mine, I turned to see that he had no doubt, toppled over onto the couch, his eyes now closed.

"What happened?" I sighed, trying my hardest to hold back tears.
"What do you mean what happened?" He argued, his tone getting more defensive.
"I mean.. I thought.. you weren't gonna drink like this anymore." I said softly, sitting down next to him on the couch. He rolled his eyes.
"I can have a drink, Jess. I'm fine."
"Yeah, a drink.." I muttered. He glared over at me.
"Jess, you act like you haven't gotten completely hammered almost every night." My heart dropped.

"Jake, I have not gotten hammered every night. We all had a couple of drinks a few nights ago-"
"Yeah, I remember a few nights ago." He said, looking away. "That's when I had to babysit you." My heart started beating faster, my face getting hot.
"You didn't have to do anything." I snapped. He looked back over, holding his stare on me for a moment, taking a second to calm down.

"Where's your room?" He asked. I bit down on my lip, hesitating for a minute.
"We can talk out here." I said. I didn't want him in my room. I barely let anyone into my bedroom. That was my space, and I didn't want another spot ruined with his drunken memories.

"What were you and Travis talking about?" He asked, his face getting angrier.
"It was nothing." I sighed, reaching over, placing my hand on his leg. He shook his head, pushing my hand away.
"Nothing, sure." He sneered. My heart dropped.
"Jake, I.. I didn't even want to talk to him. You told me-"
"Why the fuck is he still writing songs about you, Jess?" He yelled, his face getting red with anger. "Are you still talking to him?"

"Jake, of course I'm not. I don't want anything to do with him. I don't know why he's-"
"Let me see your phone." He said abruptly, glaring at me. My stomach dropped.
"Jake.." I breathed, my heart racing. He held his stare on me. "You really think I would still be talking to him?" He shrugged, his eyes getting wide.
"How am I supposed to know?" He said smugly.
"Because I'm not!"
"Then show me your phone!" He yelled.
"I'm not gonna show you my phone!" I said, getting up from the couch and going into the kitchen. He quickly followed behind.

"What are you hiding then?!"
"Jake, I'm not hiding anything! What is your problem?!"
"My problem is the fact that everyone wants you and I just have to be okay with it?" I laughed, shaking my head and going into the fridge, pulling out a drink. He reached out, but I quickly shut the door, leaning up against it. He glared back down at me, his cheeks getting red.
"What's so funny?" He snapped. I popped open the cap, tossing it onto the counter, taking a big sip.
"I think I know better than anyone, how it feels to be surrounded by people who want you, and just having to be okay with it. Cause it's all part of the job." I scoffed. "That's every single night of my life. You think I just love that? Girls throwing themselves at you every night? Photos that I take of you, on thousands of girl's phones? People literally waiting outside for hours, just for a second of your attention?" He bit down on his lip, staring back at me, his face dropping. I took another sip, holding my stare on him.

"Just show me your phone, and then we can drop it."
"No, we're gonna drop it now."
"If you're not hiding anything, then what's the prob-"
"The problem is you don't trust me. I've told you countless times, I want nothing to do with him anymore. I don't want anything to do with anyone here anymore. All I want is you, and for some reason.. you just.. can't seem to grasp that. You ruined another night by getting completely wasted, for.. whatever reason, after you told me you wouldn't do this anymore. And.. I just.. I don't want to do this tonight. All I wanted was to have a good night with you, and get to show you where I'm from, the same way you did, but you couldn't even give me that. I.. I just want to go to bed." I said, turning away, feeling tears come to my eyes.

I heard him sigh as he went over, grabbing his coat.
"I should just go." He said plainly. I wiped my eyes.
"Jake, please don't go." I said softly. "I would rather.. we just fight it out." He kept his eyes down, sliding his arms through the sleeves.
"Then just let me see the phone." He said, zipping it up. I then felt my entire body get hot. Slamming my drink down, I went over to my bag and pulled out my phone, tossing it at him.
"Fine. Here. Go through everything." I said sternly. "But if you do, that then I know there is no trust between us."

He looked down at the phone, it flashing on as he touched the screen; a photo of him and I as the wallpaper. It was taken during the first few weeks of the tour, before we had even started dating. Lying in the back room, his arm wrapped around me, kissing my cheek. It was my favorite photo of us.

Finally, he peeked up at me, tossing the phone onto the table, making his way over to the door.
"Jake, please." I sighed, more tears coming to my eyes. "Don't do this again. I can't do this again." He reached out, grabbing onto the the doorknob.
"Jake, if you leave then we are done."

He stopped, hesitating for a moment before opening the door and storming out, slamming it behind him.

I felt frozen in place, the tears instantly turning to sobs. I was so stupid to think that things were going to be different this time, and to think he had almost persuaded me into having a baby with him? He couldn't even have a conversation with me without storming out. How the hell were we going to have a child together?

This time at least, I was thankful to be home. I made my way into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me, plopping down onto my bed and hiding my face in my pillows. Taking a deep breath, I was met with the familiar smell of home. I always thought it was interesting how you couldn't smell your own home until you'd been away from it for so long, but once you returned, it was the most comforting wave of nostalgia. I reached over, grabbing one of my stuffed animals and clutching it up against my chest as the tears fell harder. I couldn't understand how I wanted nothing more than to never see him again, while simultaneously needing him more than anything in the world. I wondered how long until my dad got home. I wondered what him and Jake had talked about to make him get like this. I wondered if either of them would ever tell me. I just wanted him here to comfort me, him or..

I quickly shook the thought. Sam had said he couldn't take another breakup and I didn't blame him. I didn't want to put him thought this shit again anyway, that wasn't fair to him. Not after everything. But I had never felt safer than that night he held me, gently stroking my hair, rubbing my back until I fell asleep. He was the best friend I could ever ask for, and I couldn't even go to him about this. Sometimes I wish that.. we never took it to that next step, so I could at least still have my best friend without any lingering feelings, but there would always be lingering feelings, whether either of us wanted to admit it or not. I thought back to that night in the parking lot, that night in his bunk; nothing but delicate kisses and his gentle, loving touch. I adored how fragile I felt in his arms, as if he was terrified to break me, but I knew that he never would.

I went back into the kitchen, grabbing my phone, and plopped back down on my bed, burrowing myself within the covers. It felt like a knife to the heart, seeing that photo of Jake and I again as my screen lit up. I'd have to change it. Again. I bit down on my lip, hesitating, but eventually tossed it away. I couldn't do that to him again. I couldn't ask him to come and rescue me from this again. It wasn't fair. And he deserved so much better.

And then I heard my phone vibrate. I quickly grabbed it, flipping it over. My heart jumped.

Sam: hey, are you okay?