All good things come to an end. The bliss. The romance. I swear it.

I mean- the further we get from the competition, the easier it was to push it from my mind. Day by day it seemed I had more reasons not to mention the kiss to Layne. I didn't want Wren. And Wren couldn't have me. I wasn't keeping a secret-- I was protecting her--- Layne, I mean. I swear it.

So instead, I wish for more days like the first day I was back. I want more memories of us to replace the ones of me and Wren. And more memories of us to replace the ones of me being a shit head. And Monday is a day like that. 

But Tuesday?

I don't know how. But she knows. I can tell immediately when she gets into my truck Monday that the playful vibe from yesterday is gone. "Hey," I lean over to kiss her and she just excepts it, not kissing me back, but not pulling away either.

"Something wrong?" I ask, searching her eyes. 

She shakes her head, "Nope."

I reach for her hand and she allows me to take it, although it's limp in my own. She plugs up her phone and takes over DJ.

"Don't, don't play with her, don't be dishonest
Still not understandin' this logic
I'm back and I'm better
I want you bad as ever
Don't let me just let up
I wanna give you better ...."

It's just a song... Right?  I want to reason with myself, knowing that nothing is ever just a song with Layne. We speak to each other with music. "I didn't know you listened to Bryson Tiller," I comment. I hope she can't hear the fear in my voice like I can.

"I guess we don't know a lot of things about each other," she comments, staring out the window. I remember when she used to watch me. It was about three days ago before that fucking trip.

"Have you eaten today?" I ask. She shakes her head 'no.' I pull into a Tacobell, ordering for the both of us. I hand over her food, but she doesn't touch it.

"Are you sure you're alright, Baby?" I question again.

"I'm fine," she snaps, "Should something be wrong with me, Kaylie Jane?"

"No ma'am," I retreat, "I'm just checking on my girl. Because I love you."

She makes a scoff noise and we continue cautiously to tech. It starts to rain a bit on our way there. Not even the sun is sticking around for how badly this is gonna end.

***

I so badly wanted to never tell Layne. I wanted her to never find out. I wanted nothing but for her to believe I was as good a girlfriend as she wanted me to believe.

But when she's feeding bricks to your wannabe-sidepiece in the school's parking lot-- Well shit, there's confessions to be made then.

But, after a whole two hours of me avoiding Wren and Wren seeking me out? It wasn't a surprise that tensions had peaked. We both knew that Layne was watching. And at least I knew that Layne had a temper. An un-consented game of Marco Polo gone wrong.

I have about a ten second delay from Wren telling me 'bye' to Layne deciding now's the time for reckoning. One second she's at my side, next she's vaulting across cars, with a fresh delivery of these hands for Wren Davis.

Belatedly, I realize what's happening. "Layne!" I pull her off of Wren, with Lori and Nik run up to get her up.

"I fucking hate you!" Layne screams, although I don't know who it's directed at specifically. Wren sits up and smirks, like the absolute sociopath she is.

"Layne what the fuck?" Lori questions, then looks at me, "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," I force Layne into my truck, locking it, "Stay there."

I go back to check on Wren, who isn't too bad off, considering she'd blocked most of the attack. That, and she's pushing Nik and Lori away from her.

"Are you okay?" when I speak she stops struggling and glares at me.

"You turned me down for a wild fucking animal," she spits out a brilliant shade red, her blood splattering on the ground.

"What's going on out here?" Graves comes out the back and we all rush to our cars, avoiding anyone getting in trouble.

***

"We hurt people that love us. Love people that hurt us. Hurt people that love us. Love people that hurt us. Hurt people that love us. Love people that hurt us. Hurt people that love us....."

I pull up to Layne's apartment after a silent drive home and she doesn't move to get out. Rain continues to fall, pelting my chair in a rhythmic pattern.

We sit there, neither of us moving. The air is heavy with questions. Questions she doesn't want to ask and questions I don't want to answer.

"What happened between you and Wren on that trip?" she goes first. 

I don't say anything. There's nothing to say.

"Did you two kiss?" I don't dare ask how she knows. I don't want to appear like I was hiding anything. Instead I just nod. I'm too weak to confess out loud.

"Was it more than kissing?"  

"God no," I speak for the first time, "I would never do that to you."

Another silence settles over us. Her voice, uncharacteristically cold, breaks the silence again, "How?"

"I didn't mean to--" I start to explain but she cuts me off.

"No," she stops me, "Show me how you kissed her."

I hesitate, understanding, but not wanting to, "Its not important."

"Kiss me like you kissed her!" she demands again, "If you want me to stay. If you want me to stay with you, you'll kiss me."

"OK," I weight the options. Do nothing and she leaves. Do something and she leaves. I exhale, "C'mere."

I lean in and press my lips to hers, letting the memory of a kiss that's been haunting me the last few days float back to the surface. I let my lips work off that, remembering how her lips felt on mine, how soft they were. But also, I remember the pain I felt the entire time, how much I hated myself. How I felt the dread bubble in my gut before seizing it entirely, as I thought about how I'd have to tell Layne. How I'd have to face this moment exactly. I pull away after the longest five seconds ever. When I pull away, my cheeks are damp with her tears.

"You love her," she whispers. I shake my head and she frowns.

"I do," I reply. My chest seizes at the admission. I try to make it sound better, "But not as much as I love you. Nothing even reaches that. No one. Especially not her. Layne---"

"How am I supposed to believe that, coming from you, after you've done this?" she spits, reaching for the door, "Don't even bother to answer that."

I grab her arm, "Layne, please---"

"NO!" Her tone is enough to cause me to recoil, "Don't touch me."

She hops out the truck and I don't stop her, watching as she disappears into the apartment complex.

"Dammit KJ!" I beat my steering wheel, holding back tears. How do I keep fucking this up? How? How do I keep fighting for her only to lose her again?

I sit in my truck another thirty minutes, like she'll come back, take me back, let me explain. Not that I have an explanation for that type of betrayal.

Eventually I pull off, the rain picking up. I head to work, hoping that the solace of a kitchen will calm me down.

***

As I told you, I'm in love with you. But I can't even tell you....

It's closing time when my phone goes off and I jump at a chance to answer it, "Yes, Baby?"

"Why can't you be normal?" Her voice comes out tired and slurred, "What is it in you that you can't stop hurting me?"

"Are you okay, Layne?"

"Do you know what okay is, Kaylie Jane Parker?" she responds. I say nothing.

She scoffs, "I don't even know why I called. Plenty of times I've just wanted to walk away from you... And yet I never can... Isn't that wild?"

"It's because you love me," I say, "And I love you. And you know it."

"Is that what we're calling this? Love?" she lets out a humorless laugh, "Do you know what that is?"

"Of course I know," I remain steadfast in my answer, "It's what I feel for you, I swear it. We're a team, remember?"

"I don't believe you," she pauses for a minute, "Why can't you make me believe you?"

"Layne--"

The line goes dead and I rush to close before hurrying to Layne's. Before I can get into the apartment Dil is there, "Not tonight."

"Dude what?" I've never once been barred from entering a Sinclair's residence. Ever.

"KJ, go home," he states quietly, "I shouldn't have to explain to you why."

I start to argue, but decide against it, turning and heading back to my car.