I eventually do take Layne back to the church, but not before we sleep off the food coma involved in eating that much chicken. Us being gone for so long does not help the social climate for me, as I meet a few more attendees from the town, who all claim to have known Layne since she was a baby.

"Layne always did love chocolate growing up," one lady explains unprompted, "She'd eat every bit in the house when she came to visit and would always get it anywhere and everywhere." The woman laughs and Layne blushes.

"Ha ha ha," I nod, "Well it was nice meeting you, Nancy," I walk out the conversation.

"You know her name wasn't Nancy," Layne whispers as I walk away.

"Look, Barbara can get these hands if she say something slick again," I whisper back through gritted teeth. Be nice. Be nice. Be nice.

"It was Patricia," she reminds me.

"I don't care, Carol was outta line," she laughs, then stops, remembering she's not supposed to be finding me funny right now, "You need to go," Layne walks me back to my car, "Thanks for coming."

"Anything for you," she kisses me and I fall into it, ignoring the dirty looks we're receiving from the funeral attendees, "Tell Jan I said bye."

I drive back home, swinging by the school to get any missed work and explain my absence. Later in the evening, I go back to Layne's house, showing my way in, although not without receiving a few sideways glances from the family still lingering in the living room. I find Dil in the kitchen, a coffee mug in one hand and a half eaten container of Oreos in the other.

"Coffee this late?" I question, going in the fridge myself and getting out a soda.

He exhales, "If by 'coffee' you mean ninety percent Kahlua and a drop of coffee then yes and it'll be like that for a minute."

I nod my head, "I feel that. Layne?"

"Upstairs hiding. Like I should be. If my family would just get the fuck out my house," He laughs dryly, "I can only handle so much bigotry in one day."

"I'd love to stay and get looked at like a criminal, but I'm gonna join your sister in hiding before I actually become a criminal."

He chuckles, "Knock yourself out. But me first. Knock me out first."

I leave the kitchen and find Layne in her room, drawing at her desk. She hears me come in turns around, "Hey."

"Hey," I take a seat on her bed, "Where's my best friend?"

"We had to put him in the yard because 'we have company'," she joins me on the bed, "Mom never would've had us do that. She would've said, 'he lives here not you', and that would've been the end of it."

"Layne--"

"Don't say it. Don't you dare fucking tell me you're sorry," She growls, her hands clenching into fists, "Don't tell me you miss her. Don't tell me shit about it. I'm tired of hearing about it. And I definitely don't want to hear it from you."

"I wasn't gonna say any of that," I take one of her fists and flatten it back out, uncurling each finger and then interlocking it with mine, "I was gonna say I understand."

She looks at me and a singular tear slithers down her cheek which I immediately go to wipe away with my free hand. That sends her over the edge and she collapses into me, crying for what I think is the first time since it happened. I let her ruin yet another one of my shirts with her tears. When she's done she pulls away and further wipes her face on my shirt.

Realizing what she's done she slips me a sheepish, "Sorry."

"It's okay," I smirk, "Quick question thought: At what point did I go from girlfriend to human tissue?"

She laughs and to see her smiling again sends joy through me, "Do you think you can spend the night?"

"Definitely."

"Good. Because I wasn't really asking," she kisses me and a part of me knows this isn't going to end well, but I don't stop her. Bad idea.

***

"Slow down, KJ..." she places her hands over mine, stopping me from pulling off the same dress she had longed to get out of before, "You always rush..." she stands in front of me, unzipping it, "Let me... Don't you wanna savor me?"

I open my eyes, images of last night flickering across my vision. I question if any of it was real, but Layne's gentle snoring next to me confirms it is, her arms wrapped around my waist.

"Be gentle, not shy... I know you like me...." she laughs, kissing my nose, "This isn't our first time. Get it together."

Did she just say something? I whip my head at her, yanked from my fantasy. What did she just say?

"What?" my voice comes out foreign and detached, like it isn't mine.

"I really love you," Layne whispered it so low I almost could imagined I didn't hear it. But I know better.

"Say it back."

"Huh?"

Layne sits up, pulling away from me. "You fucking heard me KJ. I'm in love with you."

"That's cool," I shrug, "You know how I feel about you."

"Do I?" her voice pitches a bit and it comes to my immediate attention she's about to get really upset. And I'm not about to make it any better. "Do I really, Kaylie Jane Parker?"

Oh shit... She busted out the full name...

"I mean we're together all the time... we do things for each other... with each other..." I stumble through the words.

"We fuck? That's what you're basing your love for me on?"

I wish I was better with words, but I'm not. I try again, "I mean I liked you before we---"

"Started fucking?"

"Jesus, Layne! Stop calling it that," She knows that I have had a problem with anything overly sexual. Only now she didn't give a fuck.

"What do you want me to call it?" She leans back in, pinning me, "Being Intimate? Making Love? Hm? Screwing? Pick one KJ. What do you want me to call it?"

I say nothing.

"Answer me! You spend all this time with me. We have all this sex. And yet you can't look me in the eye and tell me you love me?" she kisses my collar, "Can you admit you at least like me? Like when I kiss you?" her kisses come with a bite at the end and my pulse jumps.

When she looks at me again, I'm still silent.

She slaps me and I reel from the hit, "YOU'RE UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!"

"Layne it's two in the morning--"

"Get. The FUCK. Out," she turns, no longer looking at me.

Part of me feels like this is the part where I should beg for her forgiveness. I should be graveling on my knees, pleading with her. But also, a part of me knows that this was inevitable. I mean, I couldn't look her in the eye and express my feelings. What did I expect from a relationship if I couldn't relate. I gather my clothes and dress hurriedly, still mentally searching for words to express how I felt without expressing how I felt.

"Did you need a ride to school tomorrow?"

"No."

Okay fine.

I grab the rest of my things and leave, returning to my own house in the middle of the night. I wish I would've said it back. I wish I wouldn't have left. I wish I was still there right now.

I wish myself to sleep.

****

I'm in a room, all white, empty aside from a white table, which I'm cuffed to, and Layne.

"Tell me you love me," she demands, cocking a pistol, the only thing not white in the whole room, aside from me that is.

I open my mouth, but the words won't flow. Can't flow. I realize I am mute.

"Do you want this?" a door I hadn't noticed opens and in steps Wren, in all white, holding my tongue.

"Tell me you love me," Layne repeats. I realize she can't see Wren. She doesn't know I she has my tongue.

"Tell me you love me," she demands, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks, "Please!"

I struggle in the chair, trying to get her to turn around, to get Wren to give me back my tongue. I want to tell her. I scream instead, unable to communicate otherwise. Why can't you see her?

Tears start to fall from my eyes as well in frustration.

Layne's voice is shrill, pleading, "Tell me! KJ just tell me dammit!"

Wren walks over to the table and drops a glass box onto it, before revealing a pistol of her own, "This is what she wants...."

Bang!

****

The gunshots still ring in my head as I jump awake. That was a dream. That was a dream. I get dressed and try not to cry, wiping the sweat from my brow. It's fine. You're cool. It's fine.

I get dressed in my normal t-shirt, jeans, and bomber jacket before getting Beck.

"I guess cute KJ is gone huh?" Beck notices, "We're back to scrub KJ."

"Yep," I shrug, realizing there was nothing to compel me to look nice.

We go to Bread Co. and then meet up with Nat at school. Normal morning. Normal day.

"How's Layne," Nat asks. I shrug again, "We aren't talking."

"Ah shit," Nat exasperates, "This bitch left you."

"We're on a break," I reply. It's not over. We're not over.

"Please," she laughs, "She left you and you know it."

"Shut up!" I take a deep breath. Now is not the time for me to be freaking out. I exhale.

The rest of my week seems to just be me trying to keep breathing. I serve out all of my detentions (I get some new ones too). I turn in all of my work. I manage to make it to Saturday without anymore bullshit.

"Wake up!" my body is jarred by my father's voice. "Kaylie Jane!"

I open my eyes, "I'm up! I'm up!" I take in both of them in the threshold to my doorway.

"Five detentions?" he yells, "You got five detentions last week?"

"Well yeah," I lie, "But I served them."

"Did you?" he laughs, "Because apparently you haven't been going to school? You said you were working on this? How are you working on school if you aren't even going? And only God knows where you've been spending the night!"

Surprise flickers across my face. "What? You think we didn't notice?"

Honestly? Yeah.

He snatches my keys up, detaching my car keys, "I'm taking this until you can actually use it to go the places you're supposed to go."

"But---"

"Don't---" he holds up a hand, "I'm disappointed in you."

He exits my room as briskly as he appeared. Mindy shoots me a smug look before exiting as well.

I exhale. The first good sleep I've gotten in a while and here it is interrupted by bullshit.

I grab my phone, going through our old messages. The last one is from three days ago. Fuck me. It's only been three days?

It's just about eight o'clock, so I get up, not that I have anything to do. It's Saturday, and in addition to being out of a job, I'm not out of a girlfriend.

My phone buzzes just as I'm about to start getting ready.

Chess: you free today? I think you've been on punishment long enough.

I guess I am. Now that I have no one to keep me busy.

I dig up my old uniform and grab a shower, trying to artificially revitalize my bones. When I pull it on, I notice it fits better than it used to. I guess all the time at the Sinclair's had helped me put back on the weight everyone was accusing me of losing.

I take the bus to the JOINT wishing my dad would've waited until after the weekend to take my car. When I finally reach my job, Chess is outback, smoking a cigarette. His face lights up at the sight of me.

"PARKER!" Chess practically jumps into my arms, pulling me into a hug, "God I've missed you. I've got a surprise for you."

He leads me inside, revealing a new uniform and nametag. KJ PARKER- LINE COOK.

"You're putting me in back of the house?" I glance at him and he nods.

"Maybe you'll get to work on time if you know you're getting to do something you wanna do," he laughs at his own joke, "Aren't you gonna thank me?"

"Thanks," I reply dryly, "I mean, yeah I'm excited I just.... Um it's a lot going on...."

"Layne's mom?" he inquires.

"Half of that," I reply, "She... um... we're on a break." I can't force the words "break up" out of my lips.

Apparently Chess can though, "So she broke up with you?"

"What makes you say it was her idea?" I find myself defensive.

"You know you're my girl yeah?" He puts a supportive hand on my shoulder, "But you don't seem like you'd be a good relationship type. Layne was all like 'oooo, that's my baby' and you were just like 'I guess we talk...' It seems like it would've gotten annoying, very fast. No offence."

I stand dumbfounded, no witty remark or comeback at the ready. There's nothing to say, because that's basically how it happened.

"Chess don't you have other employees to have heart to heart's with?" I grab my new uniform and head to the bathroom to change.

"I do but I don't like them as much!" he calls after me.