As I told you, I'm in love with you... But I can't even tell you....

I jump awake, not having even realized I'd fallen asleep. I look around, taking in the scenery of buttfuck nowhere Missouri. I see I have an incoming video chat from Layne and accept it, "Hey, baby."

She smiles and frowns, "Why is that bitch on you?" I look and see Wren resting on my shoulder. I hadn't even noticed, having just woken up myself.

"No clue," I throw her off immediately with the shake of a shoulder.

Layne smiles, "Good girl."

"What the fuck?" Wren wakes up, and sees me, my phone, and my screen, before shutting up.

"Hi Wren," Layne waves at her and a look of disgust flashes across Wren's face before she readjusts herself and falls asleep again.

"You have a girlfriend," Layne says.

I chuckle, "I know, babe. Thanks for having Brandon remind me though."

"I feel like you need frequent reminding," she says, "Why is Wren sitting next to you anyway?"

"She sat there," I respond, "It isn't like I can make her move. We're a full house on both buses."

I hold up the camera and do a quick sweep. Every available seat is filled, "Nothing I can do, love."

"You could've drove yourself, walked," she teases, lowering her voice, "Or just stayed here with me..."

"I regret leaving already. Trust me," I respond. Trees turn into buildings and we enter the city.

"HEY!" Graves stands up and starts to talk and I remove my headphones in order to hear her better.

"Alright guys, when we get off the bus, grab your luggage and gather in the lobby. There, sign in and you'll receive an agenda for the weekend, along with food options outside of the competition. Once you are checked in, see me for your room assignments and keys. Got it? Got it."

We exit the bus and I end my call with Layne promising to call her back. I go through the motions, getting checked in smoothly before I hit a bump.

"Can I have the key?" Graves turns to me, "Wait a minute. It's rooms of four with two keys so you have to wait for a partner before going up."

"Well can I know who's in my room?" I ask.

She glances at the clipboard in her hand then back at me, "Oh... You'll see."

Oh my God I'm about to be fucked up in three... two... one...

Wren steps up next to me and Graves surrenders the key to her, "Room 304."

We look at each other and Wren smiles while I frown, "Lead the way."

"Oh," Graves grabs me, "And remember, you have a girlfriend."

I clench my jaw, swallowing my anger. It's two nights. It's only two nights.

The elevator proves to be packed with every other competitor, so we opt for the stairs. I make it up quickly, my bags fairly light for the trip. As I climb I stop and see the hoe dragging behind.

"Give me the key," I order, "You're slowing me down."

"The polite thing would be to take my bag," she huffs, struggling along only marginally faster.

I say nothing, continuing my ascent.

"The polite thing to do would be to offer to take one of my bags!" she complains again.

"I would," I smirk, "Only you aren't my girlfriend, wife, or mother."

"Piece of shit," she growls, continuing behind me. We eventually reach the room and I immediately claim a bed, with Wren claiming the same one.

"Dafuq you doing?"

"There's four in a room," Wren explains, "And two beds. Obviously we have to share I figured we could since we know each other all ready."

I imagine this playing out later, when I end up telling Layne. In all of the scenarios I think of, none of them end up in my favor.

"Hey baby what's up? How was the trip? Oh, well me and Wren---"

"Yep. Got it. I'm gonna die? Okay well figures. Love you!"

I come back to reality. "Fuck nah," I move, "You can have it. I'll sleep on the floor."

"Really, KJ?"

"My girlfriend is from the country and I don't doubt her ability to operate a shotgun and I'm not getting shot for you," I reply, "Fuck that."

I drop my bag into one of the chairs and head out to, annoyed.

I march back down to the front, finding Graves easily, "Can I have a different room?"

"What's wrong with the one you have?" she smiles, both of us knowing the exact answer to that question.

"You KNOW what's wrong with my room," I lower my voice, "You wouldn't let my girlfriend come on this trip but you'll room me with the same girl I have an assault case with? You don't even let us sit next to each other in class."

"You're right!" she smiles, gesturing around, "She does have an assault case with you. As in, you're the perpetrator. And do we see her down here bitching?"

I don't say anything.

"Exactly." she pats my shoulder, "Maybe you'll be more careful with who you choose to be alone with."

***

I meet up with a few friends and we get a snack in the hotel store before just wandering outside. Around seven everyone is needed in on of the largest conference rooms in the hotel, opening ceremony commencing.

We rush back upstairs to change into standard member attire-- black shoes, black bottoms, blue dress shirt, and a navy jacket, the group insignia across one breast pocket. When I reach the room, everyone is gone, so I change quickly and bolt back down to where everyone is gathering.

Afterwards, we all have free time, curfew starting at 10. I video chat with Layne the entire time in the room, empty, most of the participants having moved on to the pool or rec rooms.

"Are you being good?" Layne asks.

"Of course," I chuckle, "I'm just here, reading the bible, praising the Lord. You know me."

"What are you reading? Genesis 39?" she jokes. I roll my eyes, "I prefer to stay out the first testament. It's really against, um, like everything?"

The door opens on her end and someone enters the room. "Who's that?"

"Don't worry about it," she teases.

An unidentified female voice says something and I immediately jump to conclusions, "I know you don't have me out here being faithful and you're fucking any two cent bitch you find?"

"Bitch it's me," Nat appears on the screen, and Layne busts out laughing, "Fuck you just call me?"

"Lol, um never mind, love you both!" I rush, quickly ending the call. It's almost lights out anyway.

I grab a shower, before arranging the two available chairs in a way that will be even remotely comfortable to sleep on.

Wren comes in just as I'm finishing, watching me, "You sure you don't just want to sleep over here?"

"No thanks," I smile, "I choose life."

I lay down, regretting being so tall. If I had five inches less of leg, this would be perfectly fine.

***

The next morning I'm up first and in the lobby, treating myself to a cup of coffee at the Starbucks inside the hotel. It's about seven, and we're all suppose to be ready be ready to go at eight. We're staying another night, so the weight of packing isn't there.

I get my green tea latte and find a couch in the corner to relax, opening up my bible app, reading with leisure.

11 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside.

12 She caught him by his cloak and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.

"Hey," Wren plops into the seat across from me, "Up early?"

"Yep," I continue scrolling.

"What are you reading?"

"Genesis 39," I reply.

She nods and I can tell she doesn't know what that is, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yep," I'd ended up on a makeshift bed of pillows last night, refusing to sleep with Wren and not comfortable with our other roommates.

"Ready for today?" she continues.

I nod, "Always. Stay ready."

She sits with me while I finish my drink and then we head to the meeting point in the main lobby.

"Are you ready?" Graves asks as we load buses.

"Always."

***

"You will have ten minutes to outline your speech, and another five to present. Speech will be graded by content, novelty, and presentation. Any questions?" The lady proctor asks, handing me a few sheets of paper and a note card.

"No ma'am," I respond.

"Okay. Time starts now."

I find a seat and stare at the page, which has the same rules just verbally expressed to me.

Topic: DILIGENCE

I stare at the paper and remember last year how the topic was specifically vague to test your ability to think on your toes. Last year's word was "INTEGRITY".

I start writing.

"Times up," the woman returns and I follow her into a small auditorium with three judges in the center, the room otherwise empty.

I have a choice between a podium or free standing mic, and choose the mic.

"A basic definition of diligence isn't that you keep going regardless of circumstance. Its that you know your circumstance and work with, around, and through them. Diligence is the professional word for giving a damn."

"In the business sense, it's going the extra mile trying to get customer feedback. Because you give a damn. In a relationship its making sure your partner has their favorite snack in the house or that you're wearing their favorite scent. Because you give a damn. And its to do it. Its hard to go one hundred percent for something. Which is why nobody does is. Diligence can be fabricated, it'll be just as caring, but not as strong. It'll crumble at the slightest push. That first bad review. That first time your partner has an attitude."

"Its hard to be diligent, and sometimes its annoying, but that's a part of it, too. Diligence requires pushing past the hard feelings and doing anyway, not for the payout at the end. If your give up when things are too hard were you ever really diligent? Or were you just greedy?"