After school I gun it to Layne's, trying to think of something to say to her. This was a clear fuck up on my part and solely mine. I didn't want her to think other wise. But I also didn't think I had the guts to tell her how I felt. My minds plays back last night for me as even now I'm trying to process it. I try to curve my dissonance by processing the feelings aside from my conscious. In the moment, everything felt good. Really good. But my religion saturated conscious left me feeling like a piece of shit. Just like the first time we kissed, my brain was short circuiting, wanting it to make again, and simultaneously not wanting it to.

Still, even with my own internal push and pull I shouldn't be dragging Layne into this. She deserves better.

My thoughts half way organized, I pull up outside, texting her.

Me: Come outside

Before I can even hit send she's outside, apparently having heard my engine.

"What the hell, KJ!" Layne starts screaming before I'm even out the car, "You fucking left me!"

"Get in the car," I tell her, calmly, trying to counter act the fact she's screaming at me.

"KJ!"

"Shhh--" I grab her arm and drag her to my car, "Get in."

"Where are we going?" she asks defensively.

"Don't worry about it," I close her door behind her and get into the car.

"Kaylie Jane!" she continues shouting at me as I pull away from the curb, trying to drown her out, "You're not gonna say anything?" she pauses for my response, but only briefly, "Honestly what the fuck? Is it because of last night?"

I don't respond immediately, struggling to speak.

"I know it was..." she pauses, scrambling for words, "I get it if you're weirded out by me or what we did or---"

"This isn't about last night," I interrupt her before going silent again. I don't ever want her to think that's what today was about.

"Oh," She pauses again, clearly not having expected me to say that. It's like I'd just put out her fire. She continues, but less angry, "Okay, whatever but you're fucking with my education! How could you leave me?"

I'm quiet, focusing my attention on the road.

"KJ what the fuck?" She starts to get upset again, "I'm talking to you."

I continue to ignore her, waiting for her to calm down and stop swinging on me. By the time we reach our destination she's calmed down, but I can still tell she's angry.

She exhales, "Kaylie Jane?"

"What?" I actually respond, now that she's playing nice.

"You show up, you force me into your truck, and now you're ignoring me?" she rattles off, "And, oh yeah, you left me behind today!"

"Okay but we're here now," I pull into the parking lot of the school, a pure ghost town with all the classes dismissed long ago.

"You have to be shitting me," she rolls her eyes. I kill the engine and turn to her.

"I never forgot about you," I say honestly, "I thought about you literally all day. And I know this doesn't fix anything but I'm sorry. I'm still working on us-- on me. But I wanna be with you. I'm not leaving anymore."

"Why did you bring me here?" she closes her eyes and exhales.

"I promised I'd bring you to school everyday," I respond, "And I like to try to keep my promises."

She opens her eyes again and stares at me, brown amber eyes piercing mine. She scoffs, "You're a fucking piece of work, you know that?"

"I know," I agree, "But what I'm trying to be is your masterpiece."

"What?" she giggles.

"I don't know," my mind starts to panic, and my mouth spits complete bullshit in response, "I wanna be the Mona Lisa to your Picasso. The music to your beat? The PB to your jelly?"

She looks mildly less pissed, "Is this you asking me to be your girlfriend?"

"Yes," I back track, "Unless you're gonna say 'no' cause in that case---"

She covers my mouth with her hand, "Quiet. You're ruining it. And yeah of course. But, I need you to stop tripping over everything and start communicating."

"Okay," I agree, "And I need you to stop hitting me."

She laughs, "Sorry. You're just so... Ugh!"

She groans and I smile in response to her lack of words for me.

"And those dimples. Come here," she pulls me in for another kiss, "I hate you sometimes, Kaylie Jane."

I bite my lip, trying to hold in the words threatening to fall from them. Instead I offer, "I don't regret last night."

She blushes and turns away from me trying to hide it. I can tell still, her arms turning flush as well. She runs an anxious hand through her hair, still looking away. For the first time I realize that I have the unique super power to make Layne Sinclair nervous.

I start my truck again and begin the drive back home.

I drop her back off at home. I walk her to her door, taking her hand. She offers me one last warning, "Don't let me catch you slippin' again. You're already on strike two."

I hug her, inhaling her vanilla shampoo, "I'll try to let you down in as minimal ways possible."

She rolls her eyes, "You suck."

"I'll try my best to do that minimally too," I tease.

"KJ!" Ms. Cassie suddenly appears behind us in the door way, "Are you staying for dinner?"

"I'd love to but I have work," I apologize, "Sorry."

"Okay," she smiles at me and heads back into the house, "Well, Layne whenever you're ready."

"Yes ma'am, I'll be there in a second," Layne hugs me again, "Bye, Kaylie Jane."

"Bye," I drop a kiss on her forehead and head back to my truck, driving to work. She said yes.

"You're a rather chipper mother fucker," Chess jokes as I come in, "Even though you look fucking awful."

"Shut up," I smile. Nothing could hurt me. Nothing could bring me down.

I head to the front and find Harrison and his pack, seated in their normal booth.

"Welcome to JOINT," I hand them all menus, "How would you like to disrespect me today?"

Harrison smirks, his bright green eyes alight with mischief, "Wow! Someone's feisty today."

"I'm feeling kind of dangerous," I shrug, "And by that I mean done with you guys shit."

He chuckles, handing me back his menu, "You know what we want, Sweetheart."

His friends follow suit, and I head back, placing their orders. The shift seemingly flies by, with Harrison and his pack of dogs even having the common decency to leave their table almost clean, instead of their usual fucking disgusting.

After work I shower and go straight to bed, exhausted after my long day. I lay back, still trying to process everything.

I have a girlfriend...

Suddenly, the window cracks open and in crawls Layne.

"Hey," I don't even have to look up to know it's her.

"Hey," I don't move as I feel the bed shift from her weight.

We both stretch out, laying in the silence.

"I never asked you," she begins, "What did you think of last night?"

I swallow, "It was fine." It was fantastic sounds too aggressive. It was the best thing ever to happen in my seventeen short years of life sounds way too over enthusiastic. So I go with fine.

"Okay," she nods, going silent again.

"Its okay if you don't want to do it again. You know that right?" When I say nothing she starts to ramble, "I know I--- we were in the moment and if you don't want to.... I mean I don't want you to feel pressured cause we're together now or---"

"I want to," I cut her off.

"You do?"

"I do," I kiss her, "I liked last night. It was new for me but it wasn't bad."

She exhales and I put an arm around her, "Okay. Really?"

I laugh, "Really. I know I've been trash but I meant everything I said today. I really like you and I don't regret us."

I can tell she's smiling in the dark, "At all?"

"Not at all," I affirm.

She pulls me closer, throwing a leg over me, trapping me, "Is this weird?"

"No ma'am," I grin.

She kisses my cheek, "Night Kaylie Jane."

"Night."

***

I jump awake at the sensation spreading through my loins and realizing that I'd been clenching the sheets, I release them.

Layne slithers from under them, grinning.

"Did you just---"

"Get you off in your sleep? Yes ma'am," she kisses my cheek, "Good Morning."

I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding in, "Good morning to you too. What was that for?"

"I want you to have a good start to your day," she smiles and my heart seizes.

I grab my phone and check the time. One minute before my usual alarm.

"I don't deserve you," I kiss her and she parts her lips for me.

"You really don't," she kisses me again, "Remember that."

"Hey!"

"No I'm serious," she sits up, "Keep that same energy."

"Okay wow," I sit up as well, "Isn't it time for you to get going?"

"It is my lover," she kisses me one last time, "See you later."

***

"You're dating Layne," Nat peers over my shoulder, glancing at my texts between Layne and I. We're heading out for lunch when together when she catches me checking my phone for the thousandth time that minute. They weren't overtly couplely, just an exchange of how are days are going, but that's enough for Nat.

"No," I deny it more out of habit than me wanting her to know, "We're still just friends. I've told you I only have eyes for you, Nat Powell."

"Don't do that," she takes my phone just as I go to pocket it and searches for incriminating evidence against me, finding none. She scowls, displeased, "So y'all not in the freaky texting stage yet I see."

"Mind your bidness," she returns my phone and I shove it into my pocket.

Suddenly the intercom sounds. KJ Parker to counseling. KJ Parker to counseling.

"Shit," I groan, making my way there. I show myself into Dr. Harvey's office, taking a seat, "Dr. Harvey I know my wit is like no other but we have to stop meeting like this. My teacher's are getting jealous."

She looks up from whatever she's reading and I glance at it, seeing my name at the top. "What's that?"

"Your file," she closes it, laying it flat down. She stands, closing the door.

"You're closing the door?" I panic, "Am I in trouble? What did I do? It wasn't me! You can't prove anything!"

She takes her seat, not bantering back with me like usual, "What?"

She picks up the file again, "October sixteenth:'Student is experiencing headaches from lack of sleep.' October twenty-first: 'Student is experiencing loss of time and anxiety from lack of sleep,'" I gander that's she's reading, "November fifth: 'Student is excused from classes.'" She puts the file down, "Should I go on?"

"Maybe," I snark, "This unnamed student sounds cool."

She takes a deep breath, "These reports are from your file last year around the same time. And we know how this ends. Do I need to be worried?"

"No," get serious, "I've got it under control."

"Really?" she sounds incredulous, "Nurse Reese tells me you passed out yesterday? That's under control to you?"

"I'm not perfect," I shrug.

"And you're also not conscious most of the time," she interjects, "What is going on?"

"It's fine I swear," I try and explain my way out of this hole, "I mean, I asked Layne to be my girlfriend, I'm cutting back hours at JOINT, I'm turning in my assignments---"

"Yesterday you told Nurse Reese you were picking up shifts," she interrupts, "And you asked Layne to be your girlfriend? That's what your focus is on right now?"

"What? She makes me happy!"

"A few weeks ago she drove you insane!" she protests, "I mean I'm happy for you but KJ you have to understand how this sounds. I mean last year it was the same thing with Wren---"

"She isn't Wren." I state, "This is different."

"Okay," she backs down, years of dealing with me having thought her how circular my arguments can become. We watch each other for a moment, an unspoken conversation exchanging between us.

I clear my throat, "Can I go?"

"Go," she says, returning my indifferent tone, "I expect you to keep checking in with me."

"Yes ma'am," I stand, turning to leave.

"And I haven't forgotten your common essay either!" she calls after me, but I'm already gone.