"I wasn't watching it," I close my browser and slam my laptop shut-- because that's not at all suspicious, "At least I wasn't watching it like that. And remember when you used to knock on my window first?"

"So then why was it on your screen, hm?" she places my laptop to the side and replaces it's presence on my lap, "Well? Was it because of me? Were you trying to learn?"

God, I want to kiss her. I grip the arms of my chair in an attempt to resist gripping her. Her lips are moving, but I'm not hearing a word she says to me.

"KJ," she lightly taps my face, "I'm trying to roast you and you're not paying attention. What are you thinking about?"

My mouth goes dry, "It's nothing."

"Kaylie Jane, I know you," her voice comes out light and airy and care free, "It's always something."

She waits for an answer I'm by no means prepared to be forthcoming with, resulting in us locking eyes and staring at each other, almost as close as anyone could possibly be.

"Kaylie Jane," she taps my face, "Hello?"

"I'm sorry I'm not good with words," I mumble, tentatively cupping her face in my hands. I kiss her lightly, then realizing that she isn't going to shatter and fall away, I deepen the kiss.

She allows me to kiss her before pulling back, causing something like a whimper to grace my lips. My face heats in embarrassment and she smirks, "That was cute," She tosses her hair, "I missed you, too. But remember I came over to talk?"

My eyes fall on his now exposed neck, "Mmhm," I lean in to kiss her but she holds me back.

"No. Bad, Kaylie Jane," she crosses her arms, "Eyes up here?"

I force myself to make eye contact, and am instantly sucked into her honey colored pools, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ran off the other night."

"Well duh," she rolls her eyes, "But what I wanted to hear is why? What the fuck was going through your head?"

I consider telling her the truth. Just opening up and baring my soul to her. I'm scared of you. I'm scared of you hurting me. I'm scared of me hurting you. I'm scared of falling for you. Because I feel something for you that I can't explain. Because you have me doing weird shit like watching porn trying to figure out how to kiss you better.

"It was a beautiful night for a run?" I smirk and she looks about ready to kill me.

She takes a deep breath, "You have about one minute to convince me not to crawl back through the window, rub one out, and never speak to you again."

My mouth moves faster than my head and I can't help but say, "If you stopped talking to me, how would you get to school?"

"Bye, KJ." she attempts to stand but I grab her waist, pulling her back to me. "Let me go!" she hits me and I slam her onto the bed.

"Wait!" I kiss her now exposed midriff, a part of her shirt having rode up, "I told you I'm not good with words..."

"I don't care if you're good with them!" I pull away and she sits up so that we're making eye contact again. She continues, "I just want you to use them, stupid. Stop lying to me about things, KJ. You do not have to pretend around me. I knew you were a piece of shit when I kissed you in your car after that party."

I lose eye contact with her. "Hey. Look at me,"she cups my chin, forcing eye contact again, "And you need to realize that I don't regret that. I'm with you because I like you. Not whoever you pretend to be."

We stay that way, our eyes locked, for what feels like eternity before she speaks again, "Aren't you gonna say something?"

"I should'nt've run away from you like that," I apologize. I try to get my thoughts out, but I realize I probably sound like a headass, "Every time I get around you though, I'm hit with emotions I don't think I truly understand. And that's fucking terrifying to me. Because they're good emotions and I don't think I could go back to not feeling them. I'm not perfect and I don't know what I'm doing, and I guess part of me is waiting for you to see that and drop me like a hot rock."

She grabs my hand, "I know you aren't perfect. It's not a secret, Kaylie Jane."

"You're so beautiful and I know I'm gonna keep fucking shit up," words continue to fall from my lips before I stop them, "I don't know what to do with myself when you're around. And I don't know what to do with myself when you're gone. It's terrifying how you've affected me this much."

"You could've just said that," she whispers, "I feel the same way about you dumb ass. Before you I dated curious bitches and and drug addicts. This is the first real thing I've experienced."

"I'm sorry. Please don't give up on me," I finish.

"Of course not," she kisses me, "You're a complete and utter headache, but you're my headache."

I reply, my voice low, "I'm also sorry that I'm a piece of shit."

I lower my lips to hers and she doesn't push me away this time.

And then we proceed to ruin my sheets. Again.

And again.

***

My alarm goes off the next morning I have that moment where you don't really know where you are or what's going on. I roll my head. Next to me is a very beautiful, very under dressed girl. Okay so she's naked. And so am I. Because we had sex. Okay so we made---

"Hey," she jumps awake, attacking my phone in order to get ringing to stop. The silence returns and I continue to stare at the ceiling.

"Kaylie Jane~~~" she shakes me, "What was that alarm for? It's Saturday?"

"Sorry, but it's Monday, sweetie," I finally react to her presence, "I didn't mean to disturb your beauty sleep."

"I forgive you baby," she kisses my cheek before gathering her clothes, which I'd thrown in every direction when we'd made---

"I want coffee," a dressed Layne jumps back onto the bed, shaking me from my thoughts, "I feel like it's only right you tend to your woman. Since I attended to you last night."

My woman.

"I have school," I argue.

"Okay but you have me, naked, and in your bed," she teases, "So what do you want to do more?"

"Good point." I get dressed as well, in baggy t-shirt and joggers. I balance a beanie over my dreads, causing me to look almost entirely like a man.

A pair of hi-top vans and a jacket later Layne and I sneak from the house, nobody else awake at the moment. We drive to the Starbucks located in the mall, grabbing our coffees and drinking them outside. I space out again, this time bringing forth the wrath of my g---

"Baby, spend time with me!" she hits me, immediately pulling me back to Earth, "What are you possibly thinking about anyway?"

"Do you think that God uses stamp cards?" I ask aloud.

Layne gives me a curious look, "Excuse me?"

"Like if I do like six good things as a Christian can I get the seventh sin free? With out getting kicked down to hell?" I clarify my thoughts, only realizing how insane I sound after they're out in the world, "Sorry if I sound crazy."

She shakes her head and grabs my hand, "I understand you, KJ. You don't sound crazy."

"Because you're the gauge for sanity? Okay," I laugh, and take her hand, hoping it'll keep me tethered to this world instead of off in my own. We get up and stroll the mall, together. She goes on, in my ear commenting on each and every thing we see. After wandering around for about two hours, we head back to my car.

"I'd use it on you," I state quietly.

She shoots me a look, "What are you going on about?"

"Sin stamp cards. If you do six good deeds you get a free sin. I'd use it on you. A Sinclair," I notice she's still staring at me and I feel my face get hot, "I'm gonna kiss you now."

I kiss her, and although this is by no means the first time we've kissed, I'm so nervous that I miss, my lips only hitting like the side of her mouth. Internally, cringing, I turn on the car, but she grabs my hand stopping me from throwing it into reverse and beginning the drive home. "Wait!" she laughs lightly, "We're trying that again," she pulls me in for another kiss, this time slower and sweeter. She pulls away and smiles at me, "Better?"

I swallow, "Uh, yeah." My voice cracks a little and I clear it before pulling out the parking lot.

"God you're so awkward. But it's cute," she mumbles, "By the way, I love you too KJ,"

My mind panics at the l-word, "I never said---"

"Sshh! You didn't have to," She takes my hand and kisses it lightly, "It's okay."

I drive her home and follow her into the house, praying my father doesn't notice my truck, although I doubt he would do anything.

"You guys are home early," Ms. Cassie is in the living room reading when we come in.

"KJ skipped school today," she says like its a secret. I expect for her to drop my hand, but she doesn't. She holds it harder.

"Please tell me you aren't corrupting the neighbor girl," Dil comes down the steps, cornering us in the foyer.

"Me? Never," She laughs evilly before dragging me up to her room, squeezing past Dil in the process. 

"Layne!" Ms. Cassie calls for her, and then again, louder, "Alayna Grace!" 

She finally drops my hand,"Fuck," she exhales, "Stay here," she exits the room and I head over to her bed, reclining on it and staring up at the ceiling. It hit's me that I've been with this girl all day and I'm still not sick of her. Not one bit.

Suddenly Layne is back, poncing on me. She gets comfortable in my arms, and looks up at me, "I'm not corrupting you, are I?"

"No," I answer honestly. I can't lie when she looks at me like that, "Of course not."

She kisses me and grins, "Right answer."

She kisses me again, slower this time, her hand brushing my face. Our lips brush gently together again and again. Layne's hands tug at the edge of my shirt and I exhale softly, "Layne..."

"Ahem!" Suddenly the door slams opens and she pulls away, turning a bright red.

"Mom said to leave the door open," Dil says apologetically, "To air out the house."

"Right," Layne murmurs, clearly unconvinced, "So are we only airing out the house when KJ's over or...?"

He grins, "I'm just the messenger."

Once he's gone I start laughing with relief and Layne hits me in response, "Stop it!"

"It was cute how scared you got," I chuckle. She pushes me off the bed and I laugh even harder, "HEY!"

"That wasn't funny," she huffs, "I thought that was my mom."

"It might be next time," Ms. Cassie leans in, smiling.

"Momma!" Layne tosses a pillow in her general direction and her mother ducks out the room as well. As Layne throws a quiet fit, I continue to crack up.

We spend the rest of the day at her house, up in her room constructing an elaborate fort and watching Netflix. She forces me to watch the entire first season of Orange is the New Black, demanding I be a better lesbian.

"So you're saying you want me to go to jail before I continue to date you?" I question when we stop to get snacks, "Then I'd be away from you..."

"It's a price I'm willing to pay," Layne teases me, "Come on we have to finish!"

By the time it's over, it's late in the evening. I've been with Layne almost twenty-four hours.

"I should head home," I announce as the sun sets, "We have school tomorrow."

"We had school today too," she jokes, "And?"

"Layne---" I sit up and she grabs onto me, clinging impossibly tight, "KJJJJJJJJ."

I laugh and tickle her to get her to let me go, "I'm serious, Layne."

"Fine," she crosses her arms and watches me pull my sneakers back on.

"Do you want me to visit you tonight?" she asks, walking me to the door.

"I have to do my homework from break. And then from skipping today so..." I ponder it, "I'd love to say yes. But, I wouldn't get any work done," I kiss her goodnight before driving the few houses back to my own. When I get in, there's nobody home, per the norm. I glance at my phone seeing a missed call from Nat.

"Yes," I call her back.

"Are you done being a hoe with your girl yet? It's movie night," she replies.

"I'm not a hoe," I reply, "And since when do we do movie nights?"

"Did you tell her to get here!" I hear Beck's voice in the background.

"You have fifteen minutes to get here," Nat ignores me, "Or you will be shot on sight."

The call ends and I'm left with no choice to head to Nat's.