When I'm finished with my speech, I call Layne.

"Hey, Baby," she answers on the first ring, "You done competing yet?"

"Not yet," I stumble across a secluded courtyard and take a seat, the stone cold against my bottom, "I just had the first round. I either did great or terrible." I can still see the judge's face at the use of my language.

"What might've been terrible?" she questions.

"I may or may not have cursed a little," I say. 

She laughs, "Honestly? You're dumb. You couldn't think of anything better to say?"

"I only had an fifteen minutes," I shrug, even though she can't see me, "It's fine though," I recline on the bench, letting the sun hit my face, "They'll either applaud my boldness or resent my vulgarity. That's why I said great or terrible."

"You cursed at the judges?" Graves finds me some how, loud even over my headphones.

"Hold on, Layne," I sit up, "Damn isn't even a curse word. Fuck is. Shit is. Damn is an 'expressative'."

"'Expressative'? That isn't even a word, Parker," she huffs.

"But am I in trouble though?" I question, cutting to the most important thing.

"No," she sighs, "You won actually. The judges thought you were charming. You've got elimination in thirty minutes and then have to do and edited speech after lunch."

"Okay," I relax back onto the bench and she hits me. "Go to elimination!"

"It's in thirty minutes?" I protest.

"Go!" She hits me again and I jump up, "Aight I'll go. Dang."

She calls after me, "And don't curse this time!'

"Lemme guess," Layne jokes, "Was that Graves?"

"I'm getting bitched at so yeah, you guessed correctly," I snark, "I gotta go. I love you."

"I love you, too."

***

After eliminations I find myself incredibly bored. Away from the hotel, there isn't much to do. I explore the campus, all of my friends still busy with their own competitions. I head back outside, enjoying the unusual winter nice day. It's cold, but the sun's shining, off setting the chill.

I find the bench I'd been on, reclining on it just more. I check my phone, seeing a text from Layne. 

I miss you <3. (Attachment). I click the link, transported to a Youtube video. It's a lyric video to BTS' song Coffee. I've heard it before, but I listen to it again, finding more meaning in it because it reminded her of me. I put my headphones in, closing my eyes and relaxing.

"Hey." 

I open one to see Wren watching me. I close it, "Hey," I don't move, not making room for her. 

She nudges me, "Can I talk to you?"

I crack open an eye again, looking at her and I mean really looking at her, for the first time in a while. Caramel complexion. Deep mocha eyes. I realize they're red, like she's been crying. I sit up, deciding to go easy on her. "What is it?"

Suddenly, she bursts into tears. Fuck. She throws herself into my arms, wrapping hers around my neck, "I fucked up. Bad."

"Fucked up what?" I question, not that I care. Faster I calm her down, faster I can get away from her.

"My speech!" she cries, "I forgot the entire fucking thing. I clammed up."

"Oh how tragic," my tone conveys what my words don't. 

"Can you at least sound like you give a damn?" she catches me.

"I don't," I reply honestly. She lets me go, making eye contact with me.

"You used to be so nice to me," she keeps crying, "We used to be friends!"

"And who fucked that up?" I laugh, "You aren't entitled to me. I'm not yours."

"But you used to be," she lowers her voice, "I miss when you used to be."

I don't say anything, lacking a real response. My phone buzzes and I don't need to look at it to know that it's Layne. It stops, but not before ringing again. I reach in my pocket. My Heart.

"I have to go," I hit answer.

She sees my screen, and Layne's picture on it, "Of course."

I stand up, "Hey Baby," I greet Layne walking away from Wren.

***

I end up coming in second overall. Awards are tomorrow evening but Graves is taking everyone who's finished competing home that morning.

The day flies by and eventually it's free time again, and then curfew.

"I'm gonna go get ice," I head out just two minutes before curfew.

"I'll go with," Wren stands as well, tagging along.

We walk to the ice machine in silence, me refusing to engage with her. I fill the ice bucket and as I turn to head back she pushes me back into the alcove where it's located.

"What the fuck?" I hiss, my back hitting the wall roughly.

"Why are you being so mean to me?" She questions, "You've had a stick up your ass all weekend when it comes to me. What gives?"

"'What gives?' Do you want a comprehensive list?" I snap, "You're clinging to me like I'm your girlfriend-- which I'm not-- and it's pissing me off."

"What did I do?"

"What haven't you done?" I exclaim, "The hugs, the touches, you're all over me when months ago, literally almost a year to date I said I loved you and you laughed. You fucking laughed in my face! Now here you are, acting like I should just except you back like you never left."

"I'm sorry--"

"I don't care," I start to walk away but she pulls me back, pinning me back to the wall.

"Wait."

"No," I step away again but she grabs me again. "Wait!"

Then she kisses me. Suddenly we're both sixteen again, two idiot juniors lip locked in a storage closet.

I push her away after five seconds, and run back to the room, ice forgotten.

Every body is already in bed when I get back and I quietly get comfortable on the floor in the corner, Wren entering minutes later. As soon as she's sleep I grab my shit and head down the hall to a different room, crashing there instead.

***

We're alone in the office, which I don't understand, all things considered. It goes to show that no one is really taking her claims seriously, her included.

"Are you mad at me?"

My eyes are downcast as I wait way too patiently for her answer. Like she didn't make the first move. Like she didn't lure me in. Like we aren't in this situation because of her.

"Of course not. I'd have to care about you to be mad. I'm indifferent. That's how much you don't matter."

My memory flashes with more moments between us. Us in dry storage. Her lips on mine. Her body pressed against mine.Her lips on mine. The way she smelled. Her lips on mine. 

Layne.

Her lips should not be on mine. Her lips should not be on mine. Her lips should not be on mine.

Her lips----

***

I wake up to stop the cycle. Early morning light is just starting to stream through the windows, indicating just as early it is.

Still, I hurry to get up and ready for check out, depositing myself in the downstairs lobby.

"Parker," Graves appears in front of me, "Morning, sunshine."

I nod, "Same to you."

She gives me one last odd look before heading off. Eventually other kids emerge from their rooms and we head out to load the buses.

"Hey," one of my would be roommates catches me in the lobby, "What happened to you last night?"

"I---" I feel someone looking at me and catch a glimpse of her reflection, "I was in a friend's room. Our room was messing with my chakra."

I can tell she doesn't buy it, "Your what?"

"Hey," a kid I've never even seen before grabs me, "You have a girlfriend."

"I fucking know, dammit!" I pull away from him, "Shit!"

Finally everyone's shit is loaded and we all board the buses, heading back to St. Louis.

As I get in line Wren grabs me, "Hey."

"I have nothing to say to you," I cut her off, "Fuck off."

"I have something to say to you," she lowers her voice to a whisper, "I don't regret what I did. I just want you to know that. I don't regret anything about our relationship at all."

"Nothing? Not even the fucked up shit?" She recoils from me. "I thought so."

I find a seat next to Brandon, making sure I take the window seat, and put in my headphones. I let my music carry me away, seemingly serenaded by blackbear.

If I could I would feel nothing that the truth and I don't care....

***

When we finally return home, I'm quick to bolt out to my truck, speeding to the store to get flowers, chocolate, and some pastries for Layne. I head to her house, showing my way in. I find her in her room, still unpacking her things from the move.

"Hey, baby," I announce my presence and she stops and runs to me, nearly tackling me. I stumble into the door frame at her force. She wastes no time kissing me aggressively, her want openly conveyed.

"I so sooooo missed you," she kisses my cheek, and takes the goodies from me, setting them down,  "And you know you didn't have to?"

I kiss her back, "Yeah but I wanted to. Only the best for my girl," I tease.

She kisses me again, pulling me to the bed, "No I mean it. I just wanted you. Breakfast can fuck off."

***

I grab my shirt off the ground and Layne grabs me, pulling me back to bed.

"Noooo....."

"Layne, I'm hungry," I complain.

"Noooo..." She continues to moan.

"Baby," I let her win and she pulls me back to her, her arms around my waist, our legs tangled.

She snuggles closer, if that's even possible, "I missed you. Nat wasn't nearly as good a lay."

I jump, "Excuse me?"

She giggles, "I'm kidding. Nat isn't my type. Just you. You're my type."

I kiss her, "That's what I thought."

We continue to lay there, just holding onto each other, not talking, just enjoying each others company. Which I'm grateful for, cause I don't really want to be talking anyway.

"Baby I really am hungry," I say after a moment.

She releases me, "Fine!"

"You have to get up too," I pull her from bed, "I'm not gonna eat alone!"

"Fine!" she gets up and we head to the kitchen. Since I'd first visited, their apartment had actually acquired adequate furniture including a table and chairs for the kitchen, a living room set, and basic small appliances. She makes us coffee as I sit at the table watching her. Her long golden locks are tied back into a ponytail and she's wearing one of my hoodies that she'd stolen. When she reaches to get us coffee mugs , the hoodie rides up, revealing her cute boy shorts underneath and also giving me a nice view of her ass. She catches me staring and smiles, and I smile back, before frowning as soon as she's turned around again.

You cheated on that?

"Here you go," she places a mug in front of me and then proceeds to sit on my lap, facing me.

"There's other chairs in here?" I joke.

"Oh yeah?" she kisses me, "Am I still in optimal position to do that though?"

"No, guess not." She kisses me again, "Exactly."

My phone buzzes in the pockets of my shorts and I stealthily glance at it.

SATAN: So you're such a good girlfriend. You gonna tell her?

I slide my phone back away and pull Layne closer.

"I love you," she kisses me one last time, "But you haven't eaten anything and I'll be damned if you got me out of bed for nothing."

"Yes ma'am," she slides off of me, making her own plate, and then taking a seat at the actual table.

I take a bite, returning to watching her carefree as she digs into on of the danishes I'd brought with me.

You're going to break this girl's heart. I swear it.

After we finish eating I force Layne to come on a walk with me, her having negotiated me down from a jog together. We stroll hand in hand, Layne kind of skipping next to me.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm just thinking. Don't you ever skip when you're thinking?"

"No," I chuckle, "Fuck I look like? That's gay."

"You're gay," she says.

"No," I shake my head, "I'm just dating a girl."

"That you wanna spend the rest of your life with?" she stops and grabs my other hand, "Baby, we aren't doing that bullshit again."

"Why are you so happy?" I change the subject.

"Because I'm with you," she replies simply, "And you're being you. Not awkward you. Just normal you. Ya know?"

"I guess," I shrug, "I like being with normal you too. As in normal not trying to fuck me you."

She sticks out her tongue, "Sorry. I just have to that every hour or I die. You coming over just makes it productive."

My face heats and I shake my head, "You're so weird," I smile at her and she continues doing the absolute most. We turn around and head back to the house. She puts in a movie and we relax on the couch, her stretched on top of me, her head resting on my chest. I absent mindedly play with her hair, running my hands through it.

"Remember what you said awhile ago," she yawns, "About you doing me for after high school."

I nod, "Yeah. You did the real life version of leaving me on read."

"I think it would be nice...." she pauses, "If you were doing me right now..."

"I hate you," I groan and she stands up, pulling on my arm. "C'mon! It's practice for the rest of our lives."

I stop struggling against her, "Seriously."

"So serious," she smiles, "That, or until you get on my nerves."

My face busts into a smile and I pick her up and pepper her face with kissses, "I love you I love you I love you I love youIlove youIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou. I love you."

"Okay," she giggles, "Can you follow directions though?"

And so I do.