I hand in my paper Friday, proud. Mr. Cook looks up at me, putting my paper to the side. "I want to make sure I read yours first."
"Aren't you supposed to save the best for last?" I tease.
He doesn't buy it, "Exactly why I'm reading yours first."
I shrug and exit the classroom. NCT was cancelled for professional development day, so my weekend had officially started.
ME: Out of class :D
The lunch bell rings and I head to my car, Nat in toe, "So since you don't have NCT, are you down to grab lunch with us?"
"Can't," I reply vaguely.
"What? You got a pussy appointment we don't know about?" Nat elbows me and I feel my face heat.
"You're disgusting," I reply, not having a better comeback.
"But you are going to see you're little girlfriend, right?" Beck chimes in, joining us in the parking lot.
"I don't have a girlfriend," I reply, already knowing who they're talking about, "Layne and I are friends."
"Friends who make out regularly?" he teases.
I turn to Nat, "I told you that in confidence."
"She didn't tell me," he cuts in, "You did. Just now. You've just been so happy recently--- I had to assume you've been getting some."
"Okay so we kiss occasionally," I admit, "We're still just friends."
"Okay so will you make out with me?" Beck asks, "Or Nat? I mean, we're your friends."
"Okay but I'm not attracted to you guys," I say, and then cover my mouth, realizing what I've just admitted to. Fuck. I'm not attracted to her either. I swear it.
"Oooooooooo," They low five, clearly pleased at the corner they've backed me into.
I resist throwing a fit, "Leave me alone!"
My phone pings and I check it, not at all surprised by the sender.
NAPKIN GIRL: Come over
"Look at her smile," Beck jumps at me, trying to peer at my phone, "That's her isn't it?"
"Stooopppp!" I squirm away from him, "Enjoy y'alls full day of school. Bitches."
I get into my car, texting her back from the confines of the cab.
Me: We don't have school. I don't have to
NAPKIN GIRL: I didn't ask you all of that. You have ten minutes.
Me: omw
I make my way to the Sinclair's residence, where Layne is waiting outside for me, like usual. I find myself getting out and getting her car door for her, although I don't know why.
"Don't ever try and get sassy with me like that again," she kisses me quickly, "I'm hungry."
"So what---?" I start to say something else, but one look from her and instead I finish, "---Would you like to eat?
She smiles, "Good girl. And I don't care you can pick," she pauses, "But something new please."
We grab lunch at a small cafe, and I order a coffee and sandwich.
"What are we doing with our day off?"
"We?" I tease, "I know what I'm going to do...."
She pouts, fussing at me, "You're being so mean to me."
"You're always mean to me," I reply.
"I plan to be nicer to you later," she glances at me from under her lashes and I feel my face heat.
"So bashful," she teases, "It's cute."
I look down, suddenly very interested in my sandwich. She grabs my hand from across the table, rubbing circles on the back.
I take my hand back, running it anxiously through my hair.
After lunch we head back to her house. Since nobody is home, we get comfortable on the couch in the living room, instead of her room. Max makes himself comfortable beside the couch, and one hand strokes his fur while the other holds onto Layne.
She plays with my hair, twisting and twirling my dreads while my attention is vaguely on the TV. She watches me for a minute, running her fingers over my lips, before gently guiding my face so that I'm facing her.
As Layne kisses me, her lips inviting, I close my eyes and fall into it, relishing in the pleasure. Our lips part, and her tongue grazes mine gently. I repeat the action and she moans lightly. Startled, I pull away.
"What's wrong?" She sees the concern on my face and giggles.
"You've never made that sound before," I laugh, "I was caught off guard."
She kisses my chin, "You're a better kisser than when we first started is all."
This statement provides me little comfort, "Was I bad before?"
"No," she muses, "Better isn't the opposite of bad."
"But I wasn't good?" I persist.
"Sssshhh," she silences me with another kiss, "Just take it as a compliment."
She kisses me again, her hand lightly stroking my belly. I focus on her lips, soft and warm, the aftertaste of coffee on them.
The longer we kiss, the higher her hand moves, and she slowly undoes button after button on my shirt. She slides a hand into the cup of my bra, massages my chest.
Her fingers latch to one of my nipples, and she rolls it gently between her fingers, causing me to moan quietly into her mouth. She smiles, clearly pleased by my reaction.
Slowly, she starts to grind, the steady rhythm making me feel a type of way. Her mouth leaves mine and takes an interest in my neck, suckling the sensitive skin there. My breathing gets heavier and I panic.
"Layne?" I exhale.
"Hm?"
"We should stop." She pulls away from me entirely and I attempt to catch my breath, "I have work."
Which isn't a lie. I do have work. What I don't mention is that I don't have work until another hour.
"Are you okay?" Her brow furrows in question.
"Mmhm," I sit up and she slides off of me and onto the couch. I turn away to fix my shirt, feeling her watch me.
"I don't believe you," she states after a moment, "Just so you know."
"I'm fine," I lie again, headed for the door.
"Kaylie Jane," her voice stops me and beckons me to her again, "Wait."
She unbuttons my shirt, aligning them properly. When she's done she kisses me. "I'll see you tonight?"
I nod and grab my bag, fleeing the house like it's on fire.
In the confines of my truck I put my head on the steering wheel, distraught. I grab my phone and pull up Nat's number before deciding against it. What am I supposed to say?
Nat I'm scared to have sex with my girlfriend?
But then again--- she's not my girlfriend.
We're just friends. Right?
I shake it off and drive to work, hoping that'll clear my head.
"You're early?" Chess looks up from his food, "How's the jungle?"
"Wild," I plop down at the table and get out my homework, "How are you?"
I realize he's staring at something and turn to see. "What?"
He smirks and I realize that he's staring at me, "What?" I ask again.
"You dirty girl," he stands, pulling my dreads back from my neck, "Is that from----?"
I realize what he's talking about and jump, "Stooopppp!"
I rush to the bathroom and find what I suspected--- A hickie.
Chess appears behind me, "What? Are you dating a vaccuum?"
"We aren't dating," I correct him, touching the mark in shock, "Jesus..."
We weren't even kissing that long....
"Well you might not be dating her," he pats my back, "But ummm--- She's definitely dating you."
God...
I change into my uniform, stopping afterwards to stare at my neck some more. My shirt collar comes up to partially cover it, but other than that, I know there's no way to hide it, and realize I'll just have to own it.
That doesn't stop the boys from roasting me anyway. As I work, I try to sort through how I'm feeling in my head.
Is kissing Layne fun? Yes.
Was today fun? Yeah.
Was today more than kissing? Yes.
Does she want more than kissing?
Did I want more than kissing?
What was past kissing anyway?
I run through these questions and more throughout the night, until we're just about ready to start closing.
"Parker!" I jump and see Chess, grinning like an idiot, "Your girl who's not your girl is here."
I roll my eyes and head back to the front, finding her at the bar as usual.
"Hey," she smiles at the sight of me and my heart seizes.
"Hey," before I can stop her she leans across the counter, stealing a kiss. She pretends not to notice me checking to see if anyone else noticed before asking, "Are you feeling better?"
"At the sight of you? Of course," I tease.
She lowers her voice, "Really?"
"Yeah," I joke, "Especially after I found you're little parting gift. Thanks by the way."
"I'd say I'm sorry," she smiles, devilishly, "But that would be a lie. Are you in trouble?"
"No, my boss is thrilled. He especially loves when you waste my time while I'm on the clock," I say. On queue, Chess places a vanilla milkshake up and I know it's for her without even asking.
"Seems like he likes me around more than you do," she teases, but I sense some hostility in her words.
"Impossible," I flirt.
"Really?" she raises an eyebrow, "Cause earlier it was like you couldn't get away from me fast enough?"
Before I can say anything a customer walks in.
"I can explain," I tell her.
"Yeah? Good cause you will when we get home," She smiles, "I'll be waiting."
I seat the guest and get them started on drinks.
"Hey, kid--- Are you in trouble?" Chess questions.
"No," l laugh, "Thanks for checking on me though."
*****
Layne wastes no time wrapping herself in one of my hoodies and getting comfortable in my bed. I change into a tank top and basketball shorts before joining her, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"So... Today?" I'd thought about how to ask her this all day, but here, I go with the dumbest wording, "Were you trying to fuck me earlier?"
She bursts out laughing, "That's what's been on your mind?"
"Okay never mind. Nice talk," I turn away and she grabs my shoulder.
"Wait. I didn't mean to laugh," she apologizes, swallowing her giggles, "And I wasn't trying to per say but I wouldn't have been mad if we had..."
I try again, "So you think about having sex with me?"
"Obviously," she rolls her eyes, "Why are you surprised?"
I shrug, not having an answer--- or at least not one that didn't make me sound like an idiot.
"In case I haven't made myself clear," she leans in, "I want you. I think you're funny. I think you're smart. And I think you're sexy. And when you aren't pissing me off I think you're really sweet. Any other questions?"
"You think I'm sexy?" I have a hard time wrapping my head around this concept. I realize Layne is one of the first people, boy or girl, to chase me so openly.
"Unbelievably so," she kisses me and I let her push me back onto the bed, "That and some other things that I'd like to tell you... but I don't want to scare you."
I smile and she kisses my cheek, "I'm not upset you left today. I am upset you lied and said you were fine."
"I'm sorry," I apologize. Even knowing I didn't need to lie to Layne, I couldn't help it. Lying is just a force of habit for me at this point.
"Accepted," she yawns, "You're allowed to stop me if you're uncomfortable. We're still friends above all the gay kissing stuff."
I nod. Friends.
She pulls me closer, laying halfway on top of me, a leg and arm trapping me. She steals one more kiss, before whispering, "Good night Kaylie Jane."
"Good night," I mumble. I lay awake still, listening as her breathing slows and she falls asleep. My heart continues to slam against my rib cage, keeping me awake. Every time I inhale, I catch a whiff of her shampoo, the same vanilla rose fragrance as the day we met.
Layne is just my friend.
Layne is just my friend.
Layne is just my friend.
Right?
Even as I tell myself this, I can't help but to feel like the line between just friends and something more was becoming more and more blurred.