Saide comes home with us and I get to know her better. I find out she's a law student, and she met my brother at the same diner we just left.

"I noticed him because he came there everyday, at the same time, ordered the same thing, and sat at the same table," she recalls, "He'd stay till close and insist on giving me a ride home."

"That sounds like harassment," I chime in and Karry hits me.

"Yeah," she laughs, "At first I definitely thought he was annoying. Then I noticed how cute he was."

He smirks and they kiss, which is gross, but in an adorable way.

"Cool, so basically you're marrying your stalker," I joke and Karry throws a pillow at me.

"Hush!"

The trip ends faster than I imagined and ends up being funner that I anticipated. Saide stays around after that first meeting, showing me around California. It quickly becomes apparent that they've been living together. Apparently, everyone has secrets in this family.

We stay up talking until about midnight before everyone splits off for bed. I try to sleep, but find myself awake long after Karry and Saide are asleep.

Giving up, I grab my laptop, logging into my school account and going through the 'Post-Grad' tab. I still don't have anywhere to go for my essay, but at least I can add some colleges right? I narrow the search to schools on the west coast, especially ones in California. I hear the toilet flush, and jump, realizing I'm not the only one conscious at this hour.

"You up?" Karry leans in.

"I couldn't sleep," I state the obvious.

He takes my response as an excuse to enter, and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. He gaze falls to my screen, "College huh?"

I nod, "I haven't started applying yet."

"I know I haven't been the best older brother," his voice catches, "...Since Mom died. But if you graduate or whatever you're welcome here anytime."

"Thanks," I keep searching, "I appreciate it."

He points to one school, "That's where Saide is studying now."

I add it to my list, "Noted."

He continues, "We're moving once we get married anyway. It'd been nothing for you to get your own room. Saide could probably get you a job as a fry cook."

"Okay," I soak in the information. I want to buy into this fantasy where I'm free from St. Louis and have a family that loves me, but part of me still feels like moving would be just as wrong as staying. Like I'd be leaving something behind.

His questions continue, interrupting my thoughts, "Are you going to stay with culinary?" he asks.

"It's what I'm good at," is my non-answer.

"But is it what you want to do forever?" he presses.

I close my laptop, "Would you believe me if I told you I didn't know?"

He laughs, "Yeah. I mean, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life so I gave it to the military."

"I could never take orders from Donald," I reply, "Next suggestion."

"I'm not making suggestions," he elaborates, "I'm just telling you it's okay to not be sure about things..."

His voice trails off and I suspect that we aren't talking about potential careers anymore.

I end our moment, "Good night, Karry."

"Night," He stands, exiting the room.

***

The last day, I pack quickly before meeting I hug my future sister in law goodbye. Once we got past my staring problem, we ended up getting along pretty well.

To maximize the time with me, he booked the last flight out, meaning its already dark out. Karry instinctively takes my duffel as we exit the building, leaving for the airport.

"Saide is cool, but I don't think I like you two together," I say.

"And why's that?" he jumps.

"She's too good for you," I reply, "You're holding the girl back."

"Yeah? Well you're probably holding your girl back too," he replies, defensive, "Can't ever open up looking self."

Its my turn to jump. "What makes you say its a girl?" I join him on the defense, "Who told you?"

"You did in so many words," he says, "I know what young love looks like and so does Dad believe it or not... Always out, never home... Forever looking at your phone and smiling..."

Pieces start to click, "It was his idea to bring me out here wasn't it? Because he wanted me away from Layne?"

"At the advice of Mindy of course," he interjects, "They wanted you 'away from any potential spiritual corruption'," Karry clarifies, "He didn't know that you and Layne were a thing, for sure. But he suspected it. He just couldn't prove it. Or didn't want to believe it."

I ask another question, "Did you know? Before this week, I mean?"

"I wasn't one hundred about it but I started to consider it after Nat came out," he glances at me, "Y'all gays travel in packs."

"You're not funny," I shake my head, sitting in my emotions the rest of the drive. I'm quiet the rest of the way there, up until we reach the airport. He parks, carrying my bag all the way into the airport.

"Kaylie, I'm not gonna tell him," He says, "And I want you to know I don't care."

I look at him, unconvinced.

"Whoever you bring home is your business," he elaborates, "And whoever you marry, I'll make sure to oogle them like you did Saide. Tbh I'd almost prefer it to be a girl, just to avoid any potential awkwardness."

"Wow," I laugh, "You're awful."

"I mean, I could easily take him or her," he continues, "I don't think anyone is in a hurry to have to fight me, ya know?"

We reach the security checkpoint and he hugs me, "I'm still invited to your graduation right?"

"Of course," I hug him back and head through airport security, only four hours away from getting to see my baby again.

****

Nat picks me up from the airport at two in the morning, tired but still my ride or die. She yawns, leaning against her car in her pajamas. "This the last time I do you a solid," she grumbles, "Cool chain by the way."

I toss my bags into the back seat, "Thanks. Love you too, Bestie."

"Yeah, yeah," she pulls off and we head to my house, thirty minutes away.

"You still being a dumb bitch about your boo thang?" She questions.

"I've been in a different state the last three days I don't know what you want from me," I reply.

"She hit me up while you were gone," Nat continues, "We went to the movies."

"You two hung out?" I didn't even know they talked, "Since when do you have her number?"

"I don't. I have her snapchat," she clarifies, "Anyway so she texts me like 'I'm lonely can we hang?' And of course, cause I'm loyal, I'm like 'KJ wouldn't like that' and she came back like 'It isn't like she'll do anything but bitch and moan'. I just thought you should know."

"Don't do that," I shake my head.

"Do what?" She challenges me, "I don't want her, KJ. If I did, I'd have her."

We go quiet before I say anything else.

"My brother knows about her," I say, "I was accidentally perving on his fiancee and he wormed it out of me."

"Look its too fucking early for me to be talking to your black ass right now," Nat runs a frustrated hand through her red hair, "We not done talking about this though."

"Yes mother," she pulls up to my house.

"Get the fuck out my car."

****

I sleep for the next twelve hours, my exhaustion hitting me like a train. In my state of sleep I vaguely remember my dad asking how California was, and getting a text from Karry making sure I was home safe. Other than that, I sleep something like soundly.

When I finally do awake, its to a knock at the door. Still groggy, I go to open it in what I'd slept in, a sports bra and fitted sweats. I don't even bother checking the peephole, still rubbing sleep from my eyes.

"Layne," my heart jumps at the sight of her, waking me the rest of the way up, "Shit-- I'm not used to seeing you at my front door."

"Here," she hands me a stack of neatly folded hoodies she'd borrowed over the course of our relationship.

"What's this?" I ask already knowing the answer. She doesn't respond, her eyes locked on my exposed midriff, "Layne?"

She blushes and looks back at me, "Oh my God, were you talking to me?"

I realize what she's been staring at and smirk, deciding to take advantage of the situation, "You never broke up with me."

She blinks, "What?"

"You never broke up with me. You never said you we're done. That means we're still together. That means you can keep the hoodies. I know you get cold," I hand her the hoodies and shut the door before she can say anything else.

Not five minutes later there's another knock and I open the door again. "Wha---?"

Before I can say anything else, Layne is on me, making out with me. Okay what the fuck?

She pulls away, breathless, "Your room. Now."

My mind, which had short circuited when her lips hit mine, does not react fast enough. "Ugh!" She grabs my hand drags me to my room, shoving me onto the bed. She kisses me again and again and I pose not protest. Her lips graze mine again and again as she hurries to undress both me and herself. My brain kicks back on and I flip us, taking control.

"You fucked up with that second knock," I whisper, kissing her collar, "Cause all I've been doing is imagining having you back."

"I'm going to regret this," she moans, "Fuck..."

Still, she doesn't stop me as I slide her shirt off. Even with the time apart, I still know her. I still know every spot to kiss. Every button to push. I still have her memorized. I still have her attention.

And she still has mine.

***

"Fuck..." she curses to herself, "Fuck! I can't believe I did that..."

She groans and gets up, searching for her clothes, which had been tossed everywhere in the process. Layne gets dressed, clearly disappointed in herself.

"You could stay if you wanted," I watch her from the bed, cautious. I hate my voice and how childlike it sounds.

"Fuck no," her tone is harsh and I flinch at it, "And fuck you."

I smirk, "Well---"

"Don't you fucking dare say it," she throws me a glare, "Ugh! I hate you."

Damn if looks could kill. She hurriedly finishes dressing before quickly exiting my room.

"Aye! Merry Christmas!" I call after her, then think of a better comeback, "Come again!" I bust out laughing at my own shit joke.

I watch her take the walk of shame home, hoodies tucked under her arm. I take a shower, playing my music aloud, with the confidence of knowing its just me here. I jam out, screaming lyrics out. A Big Sean classic comes out and I rap along seamlessly, a confident performer with no one else home.

"Girls only say I hate you to the guys that they love..."