"BORK BORK!"

"NYEH!" Papyrus struggled wildly as a small white dog, one of many in Snowdin, playfully tugged on his scarf.

"BORK BORK!"

"SCU OFF DOODY-DOG! DIS MY SCARF!"

The young pup ignored him and continued to bark through a mouthful of fabric, seemingly unaware of the baby bone's anger.

"NYEHHHHHAAAAAHHHH!!"

"heh heh ha, c'mon pap he just wants to play! he's friendly!"

"HE A BARKING BALL OF GRIEF AND HE RUIN MAH WIFE!"

"heh heh ha ha ha ha!" Sans laughed loudly as his younger brother swung in a full circle in a vain attempt to throw the mutt off.

"LEGGO MY SCARF STINK DOG! I NEEDS IT TO BE CUTE!"

"BORK BORK BORK!"

Dogs were such stupid creatures.

Normally, Papyrus would obliterate the obnoxious little insect with one of his blasters or use his wingdings to see just how far he could throw the disgusting beastie, ridding Snowdin of one more dog monster and thus making the town a better place to traverse if not live, but today was different.

Today Papyrus was with his brother, and though they originally came out there to build a snowman, he had planned to be a good bae so as to get some Nice Cream afterwards; a small surprise reward Sans didn't know about yet in exchange for his good behavior.

"he's just playing tug-of-war pappy, he's not trying to steal from you-"

"THERE GONNA BE A WAR ALL RIGHT! I SHOOT HIM IN DA' FACE!"

"BORK BORK BORK BORK!"

"HEY WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A SHOOT I HEAR?"

Immediately the dog dropped his hold on Papyrus's scarf and began to whimper in fear as a very familiar monster began materializing before them.

"hapsterblook...? no, we're not shooting anything-"

"If you need a star of any kind, look no further! I'm working for free right now as a matter of fact, for a charity event!" The pink spirit did a dramatic twirl and flashed his best smile. Clearly the only charity he was doing was for himself. If he had ever seen an agent of any kind in his life...or death...Sans wasn't sure what ghost monsters were about, Hapstablook would know the job didn't extend to children like he and his baby brother.

"charity huh?"

"That's right, but I'm afraid I don't DO animals darling. Cats, dogs, birds, they just refuse to work with me! There are even some monsters who won't come near me, can you believe that?"

"yes."

"It's racism I'm sure," continued Hapstablook, obviously not listening. "It's only monsters with animalistic traits that avoid me and that CAN'T be a coincidence. They're talking to each other and conspiring against my breed I just know it."

As if my family isn't going through enough at the moment.

"Animals gots bedder senses then other peoples, so they know you's there before you appear and dat scares them. They gots bedder hearing and they see stuffs bedder and they runs bedder, like, reeeeal fast-"

"So they think they're better than me."

"Nyeh?"

"They think they're better than me. They think just because they have arms and legs and ears and soft cuddly fur and cute paws, they think they're better than me and my people."

"that's not what he said dude."

"That's exactly what he said."

"Daz not what baby said."

Hapstablook turned to the cowering dog. "So...you think you're hot stuff hm? You think you're better than me because of your looks? Well I've got news for you honey, LOOKS DON'T LAST. You know what DOES last? LEGENDS, and that's EXACTLLY what I'M gonna be! While you're busy prancing around this BARNYARD OF A TOWN-"

"bruh."

"-I'LL BE WORKING HARD TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY AND GIVING BACK TO SOCIETY WHILE YOU TAKE, TAKE, TAKE!"

The smaller monster backed up a bit, along with Sans and Papyrus. Hapstablook's anger seemed to come out of absolutely nowhere and it reminded the brothers a lot of how their father had been acting these last couple of weeks.

"you alright man?"

"I'M GONNA SING AND DANCE AND BE BEAUTIFUL FOREVER WHILE YOU GROW OLD AND BLOW AWAY IN THE WIND, LOST AND FORGOTTEN! YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN ME! YOU DON'T WORK AS HARD AS I DO! I PRACTICE EVERY. SINGLE. DAY, TO PREPARE FOR MY FUTURE ANNNND I WORK EVEN HARDER TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY'S FARM! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE LATELY?!"

Papyrus turned around and pressed his skull against his older brother's hoodie, clutching the sides with his mittens. The pink ghost was the worst. Not ONLY did Hapstablook obviously not care about whether or not he scared cute little babies such as himself, he didn't care often. Unlike other monsters, he had no problem losing his temper around Papyrus and it was difficult for the tiny Horror to gauge when to shut his teething hole to begin with, seeing as he was a of the Verbal typing and loved to talk. He'd never say it out loud...probably...but ghosts in general were actually HIS least favorite monster. They didn't die like the others and they could disappear at a moment's notice, only to emerge somewhere else far far away from where the baby was originally talking to them.

"YIP!"

POOF!

The baby bones jumped and watched the small dog run off as Hapstablook fired a bullet in his direction. It buried itself in the snow, nowhere near the creature really, but apparently it was enough to scare the poor pup into the woods.

"YEAH, GO ON AND RUN! RUN HOME TO YOUR RACIST FAMILY YOU RACIST! ASSUMING YOU EVEN HAVE A FAMILY! I KNOW YOU LIVING MONSTERS TEND TO DIE AND NOT COME BACK!"

"Nyeh...nyehhh..."

"it's okay bro."

No, no it WASN'T okay.

If Hapstablook got mad at Sans, he wouldn't be able to do very much to protect him and self-preservation wasn't exactly his older brother's forte' in conversation to begin with. In order to keep the peace between his family and the Blooks, Papyrus made it a habit to visit at least one member a week and he was ALWAYS extra nice to Napstablook, but it seemed like no matter how kind he was to these particular monsters, the pink one would quickly and continuously forget the baby bone's past favors and leave him feeling bitter if not nervous.

"you want some nice cream?" Sans patted his skull in an attempt to cheer him up, but the baby bones shook his head.

"No, I wants to go home."

"TRY NOT TO GO TOO FAST, OR ALL YOUR FLEAS WILL GET BLOWN OFF! yelled the ghost, still shooting at the dog. THEN WHO'LL BE YOUR FRIENDS FURBAG?"

POOF POOF POOF!

Twigs from the pines in the woods snapped off as the monster's shots zipped through them. From the sound of it, all the bullets seemed to miss and land in the snow, but it still made the brothers nervous. It didn't seem to matter to Hapstablook if another person accidentally got hit at this point. The comedian looked around at the other monsters, hoping an adult would jump in and calm things down, but no one seemed interested in helping them.

Where the hell are the guards?

"hey uh, buddy?" said Sans softly. "you're scaring the kid-"

"Baby."

"...besides, you don't wanna be saying those types of things in this neighborhood."

"WHY?! DOES SOMEONE HAVE SOMETHING THEY WANT TO SAY TO ME?" The ghost looked around at all the rabbit monsters currently staring at him. "DO ANY OF YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME?"

The onlookers quickly turned back to their daily activities, deciding it was probably best if they avoided the quick-tempered spirit.

"*sigh*"

I guess they don't.

Not that Sans was all too surprised.

Ghosts were still a bit of a mystery to the people in Snowdin and though they weren't actually as racist as Hapstablook believed, it was true that the inhabitants didn't venture outside the town too often and weren't familiar with monsters that weren't anthropomorphic. Hell, SANS knew more about the monsters living in the Underground better than the townsfolk, and he spent most of his time in a lab, but he understood that some people were still skittish of meeting new people.

The sudden imprisonment in Mt. Ebott had shaken everyone up a bit in the beginning...or so he'd been told. It started with many people wondering if they were even going to SURVIVE the mountain, what with being used to certain environments and all, and that drove many to panic. Not everyone knew each other and not everyone was a friend; when a monster found a suitable place to live, they quickly claimed that area as their own and refused to travel any further into the mountain, fearing that if they did, they would not only fail to find another home, but also lose the first they found to another desperate individual. The people of Snowdin were the biggest victims of this paranoia as they were territorial by nature; what they found was THEIRS and most would not risk losing what they'd already claimed. It was rare to find an anthropomorphic outside the frosty fields, and even now it didn't matter that the Resort Area had better food or that Waterfall had easier access to water, Snowdin was still their home and no matter how cramped it got, it would CONTINUE to be theirs until they were driven out. That intense, almost insane level of possessiveness was the whole reason Asgore thought the dogs that inhabited the place would make fine guardsmen in fact. Despite their lack of intelligence, their dedication towards protecting their home was extraordinary. Exploring the rest of the Underground was the LAST thing on THEIR to-do-list and meeting new people was not worth their town, curiosity was not worth their town.

Leave that to the cats like Catty and her family.

The cats could map out the rest of Mt. Ebott and the dogs could take care of people like Hapstablook. The rabbits of Snowdin, who were currently carrying on with their business as if their rude guest had never even existed, had better, more IMPORTANT things to do, like keep the town running in general.

CA-THINK!

Sans turned his head to see one such rabbit go into their house, glancing only briefly at the floating troublemaker in front of him before closing the door. This ghost wasn't their problem unless they wanted it to be and CLEARLY Hapstablook wasn't worth even an OUNCE of their time...an opinion that only seemed to make the monster more irritable.

"GRRRAAHHHHHH!!!"

"..."

"..."

"...you okay man?"

"...No, no Sans I'm not," grumbled Hapstablook glaring at the ground. "I don't like being ignored!"

I don't DESERVE to be ignored...

An awkward silence fell between them, but before the comedian could think of a joke to break it, his younger sibling piped up, "I knows what will make you feel bedder." He watched as Papyrus pulled out a white rectangular object out of his jacket. It looked futuristic as hell despite the cracked screen, and had it not been attached to something that looked like a pair of headphones, Sans wouldn't have had any idea as to what it was, but clearly it played sound of some sort...probably music knowing his brother.

"watcha' got there baby bro?"

"Is an MP Tea payer! I find-ed it at da' Dump! Some hollow head throwed it away cause' it gots a cracked screen...can you beweaves it? You doesn't need a screen to listen to moosic, nyeh heh heh!"

Stupid humans.

Probably a big person too.

Big people always threw things away for silly reasons.

"It gots lots of tunes on it! I sometimes go to Boo Boos house and let him listen to them-"

"don't...don't call napstablook boo boo pappy, that's...that's weird bro."

"Is nice dat he still gots you looking after him Pink Person," said Papyrus, ignoring his brother. "He always look so lonely and sad when you's not there, ya' know? Family be SUPER important."

"Mm hm, Blooky's been having a hard time ever since our cousin left."

"you mean he's been bloo-er than usual? heh heh heh..."

The ghost gave Sans an annoyed look.

"Don't hit Snas, he got one hp." Waddling over to Hapstablook, Papyrus held out the MP3 player. Though the spirit couldn't hold things for long periods of time like solid monsters, he could still activate electronics. It took him a while however, to figure out how to get to a song as he couldn't differentiate between what was the name of an album and what was not.

"I hate this screen."

"Screen not important. Moosic important."

"I can't pick a song if I can't see darling-"

"Just pess da' buttons, dat's what baby do..."

"I don't know which button to activate."

"Then pess all of them."

"But one button I think sends me backwards-"

"THEN PESS EVERY BUTTON CEPT' DAT ONE! Why big peoples so scared of buttons? THEY DOESN'T BITE YOU!"

"Show me which button to press."

"NYEHHAAAHHHHH!!"

Finally, after a few more moments of struggle, Hapstablook managed to find a song...which he listened to for about twenty seconds before turning away from the angry infant.

"Nyeh? What dis about? DAT WAS ONLY FEW SECONDS!"

"I know that 'music.' It's that damn Hatsune Miku all the humans are crazy about. My family loves music and scours the Dump for CDs and the like as well and I'm very familiar with her work...no, no not 'her," said Hapstablook correcting himself. "SHE' doesn't exist. This music is instrumental. Hatsune Miku isn't a real person. She has no soul nor does she have passion. She's just a pretty container for someone else's feelings."

"sounds like you're jealous."

"You don't know a thing about Vocaloid. They're RUINING music for us TRUE artists who work hard!" said Hapstablook, glaring at Sans. "They don't get tired, they don't have to deal with paparazzi, they can change their appearance on a DIME even while on stage, and they don't have to rehearse! THEY DON'T HAVE TO REHEARSE! And they're ALWAYS beautiful..."

Always, always beautiful...

"Nyeh? Miku be an Ima-gin-ary monster...? Like in dat one vido I sawed, Foster's Home for Ima-gin-ary Friends?"

"What?"

"Do she like chalk-wit milk?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"she sounds like a robot," said Sans listening a bit to the music. He'd never met one in person, but he knew what they sounded like from some of the old videos he and Papyrus had found at the Dump. They all seemed to have the same accent that sounded as if they were constantly speaking into a fan, which is actually something Sans had tried himself once when he THOUGHT no one was looking, only to have his brother giggle at him from his crib and reach out from between the bars to pet his head as if HE were the silly baby.

"She a woah-bot? How she take a bath?" asked Papyrus smiling.

"She doesn't, in fact I'm pretty sure I explained who Hatsune was to YOU a long time ago, it's your brother who's-"

"SNAS A WOAH-BOT?!"

"now you know that's not right papyrus."

"IS DAT WHY YOU'S BIG AND BALD AND NO ONE LIKE YOU?! YOU VOCOLOID?!"

"What are you saying? Everyone LOVES Hatsune and her horrible brothers and sisters! It's one of the reasons I hate them...because their faces are posted everywhere and they have all KINDS of merchandise based off them, and guess what? The people who write their songs and make them sing? Nothing. I know nothing about them. The Vocaloids get all the fame and the people who work hard to make those puppets move get nothing."

But I'm gonna change everything.

I'll be the first REAL Vocaloid.

A perfect being.

The perfect performer.

The first Vocaloid to EARN his fame. With my passion and Determination combined with all of Hatsune's benefits, no one will ever ignore me again. Humans won't run away scared like they used to and even these racist hicks will come around.

I'll MAKE them come around...

"Fairy's got dat Dirt-Butt look big Buther..."

"Also, that reminds me, darling. Did your father ever say anything about a little project I asked him to do a while back?"

"Yep! I asked him just like you said and Daddy say, 'go way Papyrus, weave me alone! if you ask me one more time, I's gonna beat you to bone meal and sell you to a crack addict, maybe then you'll actually be worth something!' He was reeeeal mad-"

"*pfft!*"

"Sooo he's already on it then?"

"I don't know, I's just a baby. Most current events escape me."

"...It was the only event I asked you to keep watch for."

"Simple directions also escape the baby."

"..."

"Also, why Snas not famous like da' other woah-bots? All the big peoples tell him to go way...is cause' he fat?"

"shut up pap."

"Your brother's NOT a robot."

"heee knows."

He's just being a dick.

Probably sick of you complaining about everything and trying to get you to go away yourself to be honest, though I'm not sure why he has to use ME to do it.

"But Snas say he not a baby and he big and bald! Woah-bots can't grow hairs cause' they be made of metal-"

"i bathe."

"How you bathe?"

"like everyone else."

"Nuh-uh! Letrical stuffs can't go in da' water, Daddy said! I knows it cause' I tried to use his phone to call the fish lady while I's taking a bath and I assidently held da' phone under the faucet while it be running and it fall out my hand into the sink."

"you were using Dad's phone? how? why? who was watching you?!"

"Nobody. It be the middle of da' night. I had to take mah bath at night so I could get Daddy's phone. I use-ed it stead' of mine just in case I dropped it from high up. Babies don't gots a good grip ya' know? I's right too! I did drop it," said Papyrus with a smile. "I drop it right in da' water big Buther! Nyeh heh heh!"

"heh, you seem so proud."

"Yep, I's very proud of myselves...because it could have been MY phone, but baby thought ahead. I's real sad afterwards dough...I had plans, BIG plans. I's gonna ask the fish lady how to beeth underwater and get the step-by-step destructions."

"instructions."

"Ah-stuctions. But when I taked it out the water and pessed the buttons, it didn't work no more and dat's how I knows lectrical stuffs don't work in water...also Daddy told me."

"he told you huh? lemme guess, you didn't turn the faucet off?"

Sans didn't really need an answer as he remembered perfectly well how awesome it had felt to watch Alphys, his ONLY FRIEND, face-plant onto the tile floor and blame HIM for not putting up a caution sign of some sort, as if he worked customer service at the Resort. He had spent most of that morning apologizing for something he didn't do, so as to not lose her friendship and stop her from crying over the paperwork that had been ruined by Papyrus's makeshift slip n' slide. At the time, he hadn't even thought about why the hallway was practically a lake, but now that Papyrus was telling his story, the memory came back full force and he wondered why he hadn't blamed his brother sooner if not immediately.

"Why I need to shut it off? Water evaporates big Buther! Also, big peoples like to clean. It makes people happy when I make messes-"

"NO. no no no NO it does NOT. i don't know where you got that idea baby bro, but you are one hundred percent wrong."

"Nope, I's right all right. I knows cause' Daddy only yell at me about da' phone. He go 'PAPYRUS WHY YOU DO DIS?!"

"STOP. stop right there cause' we are NOT skimming over this buddy. what makes you think people like cleaning up after you? do YOU like cleaning your messes?"

"No, but dat's cause' I's a baby. I gots small widdle arms and tiny widdle hands, so I can't carry stuffs good, and I gots duck feets, so I can't walk good neither and it take too long to reach paces-"

"you have nine extra hands and you walk fine, i've seen you. you waddle side to side ONLY when other people are watching you because you think it's cute."

"Nope, I's widdle, so my balance not good yet. I not walk straight and I gots to crawl when I gets tired."

"i've seen you run dude. we've literally taped almost everything since you awoke."

"Dat footage fake."

"papyrus."

"Dat footage doctored."

"stop."

"It don't matter anyway cause' cweening mah messes makes people feel good about themselves. It make them feel like good people and make them LOOK like good people."

"no."

"They help da' baby and they probly think, 'wowie! Dis baby so nice making all these messes for me! I feels like such a gate person, and I bets erybody loves me more now too since they knows I's po-duc-tive and kind to widdle babies."

"i really hope you're playing papyrus..."

"You wants to listen to a different song?"

"don't you ignore me."

"I think I'm going to head home actually," replied Hapstablook. "I only came out here because I THOUGHT I could get some fresh air...but I forgot some of these townspeople don't know the difference between a street and a bathroom."

Sans frowned as he watched the ghost fade away. It was good that he was still loyal to his family and their business despite how much he valued his dreams, but his stuck-up attitude still rubbed the comedian the wrong way...

"You wants to get Nice Cream now Snas?"

"pass."

"You sing wit da' baby then?"

"huh?"

"Running to another day I wants to break away and take a leap, nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh-"

"hard pass."