"....can i help you bro?"

"Nope, I's just admiring yo' burger."

Sans looked down at his lunch. "it IS a pretty nice burger, isn't it?"

"Yep, it look real tasty to da' baby..."

"yeah..it is."

What's this about?

"Any baby wit a burger like dat would be awful lucky. It look like it full of healthy nutrients."

Oh, he wants my burger.

"yeah it probably is pretty healthy, it's got lettuce in it, so..."

"You know, is important to make sure babies grow big and dat means giving them lots of nutrients. I reads it in a book, so is true. I gots to eat lots of health stuff so I can get big and get the sparklies for you..."

"yep, can't reach the stars if you're short that's for sure," said Sans taking another bite.

"It'd be awful nice of you if you gave dat burger to da' baby..."

"is that right?"

"uh huh!"

"mm."

"....."

"......"

".....Give me yo' sandwich Snas," said Papyrus frowning.

"that's not how you ask for things papyrus."

"I wasn't asking. Give me yo' food."

"that's impolite papyrus."

"GIMME!"

"no."

"DO IT OR I'S GONNA CRY!" The baby bones sung his fists down on the table angrily, making a loud thumping sound that echoed throughout the lab, but unfortunately for him, Sans was unaffected. The older Font was getting more than a little tired of his baby brother's attitude as of late. Papyrus was getting more temperamental and rude as the days went by and Gaster didn't seem interested in trying to do anything about it.

Not that Sans was surprised.

"you're gonna cry huh? what a surprise. well i hope you know how to swim cause' oceans are preeetty deep lil' bro."

"DADDYYYY! SNAS IS BEING MEAN TO DA' BABY!"

"dad's wearing headphones, he can't do shit. go eat a poptart," said Sans swallowing.

"I WANTS A SANDWICH!"

"well too damn bad, this is mine you friggen' deadbeat-"

"NYEHHHHHHHH!"

"whine on kiddo, you're not getting my food."

"NYEHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"i don't know why you're bothering anyway, like i said, dad's got his headphones in and he's listening to one of your crappy metal bands. you know he does that while he works to drown out your screaming-"

"THEN I GO GET SOMEONE ELSE!"

"there's no one else left pap! and even if there were, they don't like you!"

Maybe this little lesson will get you to be nicer to people.

If Dad doesn't wanna be a parent, then I'LL raise ya' you little brat.

"I DON'T LIKE YOU!!"

"kay'."

"ERRRNNNNNN!"

"*munch* *munch*"

Papyrus pouted for a few minutes at the table before finally speaking again in a small voice. ".....Can baby please has a widdle piece? I let you sniffs my head..."

"....alright, but you gotta remember your manners in the future ya' hear me?"

"*Sniff* Yeah..."

Sans broke off a little piece of his sandwich.

"......"

"*pfft!* what's wrong pap? you look unhappy!"

"...."

"HA HA HA HA HA! oh man, you look soooo mad right now *snrk!*, i can only IMAGINE what must be going through your head-"

"No you can't."

"heh heh ha ha ha ha! hold up hold up, lemme take a picture real quick! ha ha ha ha! you look like mr. burns! i swear to god you look just like him! remember that old guy from the simpsons?"

"....."

"okay lil' bro! now smile and say 'excellent!'" exclaimed Sans holding up his phone.

Papyrus got down from his chair and left the table.

"aww! c'mon pap, it was just a jo-"

"You will regret."

"heh heh hee hee, okay temmie-"

"I'm serious."

"...."

"BOYS, GET YOUR SHOES ON, WE'RE GOING TO THE SCIENCE FAIR!"

Both brothers jolted in surprise upon hearing Gaster from down the hall.

"DON'T STARTLE DA' BABY!"

"huh, i didn't think we were going there today..." said Sans sadly. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and got down from the table, struggling not to cry.

In the past, Gaster would help Sans to build something neat for the fair and he would compete against the other adults there. Sometimes Sans even won and he'd feel proud of himself, like he was the smartest kid in the Underground..but that was before he lost his font.

Before I became useless.

"why are we going to the fair dad? we didn't make anything..."

"Why don't you ask your brother? Or better yet, why don't you ask one of my other assistants?"

"uhh..."

"Oh wait, you can't BECAUSE THEY'RE EITHER DEAD OR WORKING SOMEWHERE ELSE!!"

"Dat's sad. These hoes ain't royal, huh Daddy?"

"royal..?"

"He means 'loyal' just ignore him, he's being a smartass-"

"I's not a smartass, I's a baby!" exclaimed Papyrus throwing his hands up in the air.

"well why do WE have to go?"

"Because I don't feel comfortable leaving you two alone in my Lab with all my things, THAT'S why."

The small skeleton frowned, but got his shoes along with his brother's.

"Tie my shoe's Snas! My widdle fingers be retarded..."

Tieing his brother's shoes, he held his hand and teleported to the fair.

"Wowie, look at all da' big people Snas!" said Baby Papyrus running into the dining area of the Resort where the fair was being held.

"y-yep, there sure are a lot of them. science fairs are pretty cool huh bro? you can actually buy some of the stuff here if you want..."

Science fair projects lined the tables atop the stage in a neat little row, each with an adult standing near ready to give an explanation..except for one.

"GASP!* Look Snas!" exclaimed Papyrus pointing at a small yellow dinosaur-looking monster. "Is Baby Bop!"

Sans looked over to where his brother was pointing and frowned. "that's not baby bop little bro, baby bop is green."

Who's that kid? I've never seen her before...

"No, dat's definitely Baby Bop. She got dat pastic surgery big Buther so she blend in with the normal peoples."

"is that right?"

"Yep! She gotted tired of the spotlight and left the Barney Show. People kept trying to steal her blankey cause' she famous."

How come no one's with her? Shouldn't her parents be nearby?

Did they leave her all alone so they could talk to the other scientists?

The yellow dinosaur looked straight ahead nervously as the monsters around the fair checked out the other projects, purposely skipping her stand.

Sans knew what that felt like. A lot of the adults at the fair were full of themselves and didn't take HIS projects seriously either when he tried entering without Gaster. Some would even walk up to his stand and ask complex questions about his invention in hopes of making him look or feel stupid. The worse ones though were those who'd stop by his stand and ask him about his parent's whereabouts.

Why is he standing up there alone?

Is he trying to pretend HE made this project?

Is he watching the stand for his mommy or daddy?

"*sniff*"

"Nyeh? Why you cry big Buther? You wants an aw-doe-gaff? Aw-toe-gaff..aw-dee-gwaff...?"

"it's nothing pap, don't worry about it."

"Aw-toe-calf."

"These are slippers little girl, what are you trying to pull?!"

Sans wiped his eyes and looked up to see one of the adults at the yellow girl's stand glaring down at her. They were dressed like a scientist, white coat and all; a sure sign that this person wanted people to think he was important.

This guy is trouble.

"Uh..no no! The-the-they're not just any slippers, they let you w-walk on snow and run just as fast as you would with them off!" explained the dinosaur quickly, stammering over her words.

"Yeah right, I bet you just found them at the Dump or something. A REAL scientist wouldn't make a wearable invention pink, if people are meant to wear it then it should be a unisex color."

"Um-emm..."

"why can't boys AND girls wear pink?" asked Sans climbing on top the stage. "i'm a boy and i like pink..how much are these slippers miss? my little bro is really fast-"

"Excuse me child, we were in the middle of a conversation-"

"well what i have to say is more important so why don't you slip-per away while the REAL grown-ups talk business?"

The little girl smiled at him. "Thank you..."

Oh wow her eyes are all watery. If I hadn't said something she would of started crying right in front of this jerkoff.

"Who do you think you-oh wait, you're that skeleton nobody likes aren't you?"

The kid comedian shook his head. "no, no he's down there," said Sans pointing to his brother.

"Aw-toe-bots."

"so about those slippers...?"

"You can have them for free. They're a prototype, but they wouldn't be on display if they didn't work. M-My name's Alphys by the way..if you're interested." The child lifted the sides of her faded yellow dress and did an awkward curtsy.

"i'm sans, sans the skeleton-"

"Well obviously," muttered the adult, his arms crossed.

Is he still here?

"hey buddy, this conversation is between a and b, see your way out would ya'? you're bugging the lady."

"Heh heh ha ha!"

"Your jokes are terrible and so are your manners. Besides, aren't you a little small to be telling people what to do? Why don't you take that evil baby imp of yours and go home? Nobody wants you here; this fair is for adults, it's not some amateur showing you'd find at your school filled with fake volcanoes and silly potato batteries, this is REAL science-"

"is that a midget joke? because that's not cool dude."

"Nice try, but I'm smart enough to tell an adult from a snot-nosed little brat regardless of whether or not they're wearing a striped shirt. Shouldn't you be at home watching Blue's Clues?"

"HEY, YOU WEAVE MAH BIG BUTHER ALONE! I KICKS YOU IN DA' NUTS!!" yelled Papyrus, kicking his leg in the air to prove his point.

"I'm not afraid of you OR your worthless brother. Gaster told me about you-"

"Then you better get out our FACE or Imma tell eryone you's being mean to Snas and Baby Bop, and then you's gonna get in trouble!"

"...Who?"

"And just what kind of trouble am I going to get into exactly? Am I going to get a time-out? Maybe a spanking..?"

"You's gonna get jumped! Imma cry real loud and eryone gonna hate you. They gonna say 'poor Baby Pappy, why Bill Nye being mean to the skelly baby? We should beat him up!' Then theys gonna jump yoooou!"

"Wh-"

"Like a bounce house." The baby bones did a couple of squats smiling at nothing while the monster looked on in confusion. "We's gonna bounce on your big stink head and go to da' moon."

"You-"

"Then we builds a dustman cause' there be no snow there."

"....Are you done?"

"Woo-dolf da' red nose wayne deer, had a very shiny nose..he try to help da' bay-bee, but the baby had no snow-"

"....I'm leaving."

"All of the udder wayne deer, used to waff and call him names..but baby got those basters, he sent them all to early graves!"

The adult walked away from Sans and Alphys shaking his head.

"way to go baby bro!"

"Then one fosty-"

"shut up."

"kay'."

"heh heh ha ha! Your brother sure is..something, heh..."

"yeah he-*sigh*papyrus, what are you doing now?"

"......"

"you're not planning on going after that guy are you? just let it go okay?"

"Aw-toe-taff."

Oh, he's still trying to figure out how to pronounce autograph.

"never mind pap, so i can really just have these alphys?"

"Yeah, It's the l-least I could do..after you, after you helped me..."

"look, you don't owe me anything, i was glad to help."

"Still..."

Unbeknownst to the two children, Papyrus slipped out of the dining area.

He already knew how to say autograph.