"watcha' got there little bro?" asked Sans. His baby brother was sitting on the floor covered in spaghetti sauce and noodles.

Papyrus stuffed some in his mouth. "Sgetti. I likes it good."

"did you..fix that?"

It wouldn't be the first time his brother had done something weird.

"No, I's just a baby. I can't work da' stove..."

"there's no one else awake right now pappy-"

"I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN'!" The baby bones angrily kicked his feet and waved his arms around.

"then who cooked the spaghetti pappy? who did that?" Sans squat down and smiled at his brother, picking a noodle off his head.

"Santa cooked it for me."

"santa huh?"

Really bro?

"Yep! He real nice. You can'ts see him when you's awake."

"You know it's nowhere near present day right?"

"He visits da' baby from time to time. We talks about da' politics and he cook me food."

Pfft!

"santa talks to you about politics?" Sans struggled not to laugh, picturing Santa and his brother sitting in his highchair debating over cups of coffee.

"Yeah...we gots different views dough."

"is that right?"

Papyrus nodded. "He want to be king cause' it be easier to give prezzies to all da' babies if he already lives underground. Life is hard for Santa big Buther..."

"santa wants to be king just to make his job easier? that seems a little selfish don't ya' think?"

"I do's! I say you gots to help erybody in da' underground, but he say no. He want the slave babies to take care of erything," said Papyrus looking disgusted.

"'slave babies?' you mean the elves?"

"Yep, he take the bad babies and makes em' build toys for da' good babies till they die. They don't gets to pay with the toys."

"that sounds like a sweat shop."

Where the hell did he hear this?!

"Is a freeze shop, cause' they don't gets no warm clothes. They gots to wear tights and no gloves. Is weal sad."

"heh heh ha ha! santa sounds like a jerk pap!"

Oh my god!

"Don't lets him hear you say dat! He gots eyes and ears erywhere big Buther!" Papyrus pointed to the lab cameras.

"that's for lab security bro, so no one breaks in and tries to steal stuff."

"Dat's what they WANTS you to think. He gots the big people in his pocket and the widdle babies eating from his hand. He gives presents to make da' babies love him and threatens to take the babies if the big people don't obey."

"it's a conspiracy huh?"

"Santa trying to fight off da' illuminaughty."

I thought he was trying to make his job easier?

Also...

"what the hell is the illuminati?"

"Present Day lights that only ilwoominate halfway...they naughty too cause' they choose to do dat to make the big people mad. They trys to make them mad and bake stuffs. Lots of my toys get broken by them."

"ohhh, YOU'RE not the one breaking your toys, it's the illuminati."

"Yeah...Santa and the Present Day lights gots in a fight and the illuminaughty made sgetti get on my head."

"the illuminati put spaghetti on your head? how'd the lights do that without arms little bro?"

He's such a liar.

"You knows how the lights go black when they don't lights up?"

"yeah?"

"The black lights know the voodoo-"

"get back in bed."

"NYEH HEH HEE HEE!"

Papyrus crawled out of the kitchen and back into his room, climbing into his crib he frowned noticing his pillow was loud and crinkly.

"*yawn* goodnight pappy..."

"..........."

Sans closed his eyes, but it wasn't longbefore he felt his brother's eyes on him. Papyrus had a habit of watching himsleep and whenever he left his crib to do so, it meant that something out of the ordinary was going on.    

"hey ya' little jerk, what's up?" asked Sans smiling as baby Papyrus crawled into his bed. The tiny skeleton wrapped the blanket around himself looking VERY upset.

Awww...did my little bro have a nightmare?

Poor guy...

"............"

"papyrus? what's wrong pappy? don't tell me something scared YOU..."

Papyrus didn't look at him. ".......My friends died today."

"......what?" Sans' smile faltered. Papyrus's tone had changed to one he was completely unused to and it made him more than a little uncomfortable.

What he said didn't help either.

His friends died...?

Papyrus meets a lot of people while on his little adventures, he could be telling the truth...

Sans looked at his baby brother, he seemed like he was trying not to cry. It didn't feel like he was lying.

Oh no...

"My two friends died today...humans got them. I wasn't there to protect them and now they're dead."

Why's he talking like that?

"They left me a note in my crib. They had this plan to break the barrier..one of my friends sacrificed their life to see it to completion..."

What the hell IS this?!

"They told me nothing. They made up this dangerous plan AND TOLD ME NOTHING! THEY DIDN'T INCLUDE ME AT ALL!!"

Sans jumped, startled by his baby brother's sudden outburst. "p-pappy...? what's wrong with you?! w-w-why are you talking like that?!"

They didn't trust me...

"I's sorry big Buther, I go back to my cwib." Papyrus got out of Sans' bed and crawled back and into his crib with the help of his wingdings.

They didn't trust me at all...

The rest of the night was probably the most miserable Sans had ever had, he couldn't quite tell why, but the aura in the room felt really bad...like the air was made of a poisonous gas. A thick blanket of despair seemed to cover every corner of the nursery and he couldn't help but wonder if it was because his baby brother was sad.

Poor little bro...I didn't really make him feel better did I?

Getting out of bed, Sans walked over to his brother's crib and picked him up, cradling him in his arms and rocking him back and forth. "hmmm...hmm..hmmmm..." He began humming the song he had heard a thousand times from Papyrus's music box. He had no idea where the baby bones got it, but it couldn't have come from the dump judging by its condition and Papyrus seemed to care about it a LOT. He thought about asking, but he decided in the end not to. His brother liked his secrets and right now all Sans wanted was to make him smile again, prying wouldn't accomplish that.

"hmmm..hm...hmm...hmm..."

"You sounds like Eeyore from Winnie da' Pooh!"

Sans put Papyrus back in his crib.

"Nyeh heh ha ha ha!"

Mission accomplished I guess.

Nice to see you smiling again...brat-face.

Standing up in his crib, Papyrus grabbed Sans' light blue shirt. "When you gets up can we watch a movie?"

"sure, why not? as long as it's not anything weird," said Sans smiling and rubbing his baby brother's skull affectionately.

Papyrus plopped down in his crib, looking disappointed. He picked up his red pacifier and put it in his mouth before lying down on his mattress.

"you're so cute bro..." cooed Sans, petting the baby.

"*POMP!* Yep, I's da' cutest bae ever. I wook forward to tomorrow big Buther! Tank you for being nice to the baby..."

"no problem, you're SUPPOSED to be nice to sweet little babies!" Giving Papyrus one last rub on his back, Sans went and climbed into bed, the atmosphere in the room returning to normal.

When morning came everything seemed back to normal, including Papyrus. The alarm sounded like normal, Papyrus blew it up like normal, and Sans went back to sleep for a few more minutes like normal. Eventually though, he woke himself up remembering that he promised to watch a movie with his baby brother. 

"*yawn* morning pap, what do ya' got ther-oh oh god no..." Sans gazed in horror as he saw Papyrus holding a book.

"Once upon a time-"

"please papyrus, no more stories. they're all terrible...and racist."

"There be a bunny and this bunny be fluffy as hell!"

"papyruuuus..."

I thought we were going to watch a movie?

"His name be Fluffy Bunny, big Buther."

"*sigh*"

"Fluffy Bunny had the magic powers Snas. He had the dark magics..."

"what?"

"His famy left him behind cause' he be a criminal and he gots real sad."

"let me guess, he gets struck by lightning or shot or a demon drags him to hell right?"

"No, he wites a book where his famy loves him and uses the dark magic to wive inside it so he could be happy."

"aww..."

"He hided the book real goods so nobody burn it or use it for stuffs, but somebody finded it."

"do they drop it in the toilet and drown him and his family?"

"Nooo, what wrong wit you?!"

"that's usually how your stories go pappy."

"I don't wite these! I's just a baby!"

"sure."

"So somebody finded the book and opened it up and da' spell be cast again."

"so now he has a friend?"

"No, only one fluffy bunny allowed in da' story. So the weal Fluffy Bunny pay a game. He hided and asked 'where I be cute baby?' and the baby reading da' book twied to find him."

"so a baby found the book huh?"

I wonder what happens to them?

"If the baby don't finds Fluffy Bunny, da' bunny pull the baby into the book and they takes his pace, then they both be sad."

"that's what i thought."

"You weed this story already big Buther?"

"uh, yes! yes i've read it thousands of times and i'm soooo sick of it-"

"I knows when you's lying big Buther..."

"why don't you just write a friggen' book pap? you're good at making up crap, go write a book and make us some money."

"I gets a job when you gets one."

"i work with dad."

"When da' baby fails to find Fluffy Bunny and switch paces, Fluffy Bunny pays the game and wooses on purpose so he can see his famy."

"well that's nice...still don't think there's a happy ending though."

"Dat is da' ending!"

"what?! really?! that's the ending to peek-a-boo with fluffy bunny?!"

"What? I's not weeding peek-a-boo with fluffy bunny! I's telling a story about da' book!"

"huh?"

"Dis book be cursed big Buther! You weed it and you have to pay the peek-a-boo..."

"i highly doubt that book is cursed pappy."

"It is! And since Fluffy Bunny die of old age outside da' book, now nobody knows the secret! People get trapped insides it all da' time!"

"right."

"It's too! Dat's where all the lab peoples went! They pay the peek-a-boo with Fluffy Bunny and gets trapped cause' they turn da' page without twying to find em'!"

"kay'."

"You don't believe da' baby?"

"nope."

Papyrus stood up and waddled over to Sans holding out the book and spreading it wide open. Sans sat up and looked at the page fearfully and then back at Papyrus again.

Fluffy Bunny was wearing a lab coat.

"Find Fluffy Bunny big Brother."

Sans lifted a shaky hand and pointed at the not-so-hidden rabbit.

"YAAAAY! YOU'S DID IT! NO BOOK JAIL FOR YOU!"

Is THAT where the crazy scientists disappear to?!

...................

Can I really be a bunny until someone reads the book wrong? I like carrots...

"keep this book safe bro, we can't let cursed stuff fall into the wrong hands..."

"Baby knows. I keeps it safe forevers!" said Papyrus throwing his hands up in the air. He crawled over to his block toy and stuffed one into his mouth as Sans put the book in a good hiding place.

"You pay wit me big Buther?"

"i thought we were watching a movie?"

"We do dat next. I gots to ezercise my widdle baby brain ya' know?"

"then you gotta go eat breakfast! breakfast will wake up your brain in no time...*yawn*" Sans didn't really want any breakfast, all he wanted was to go back to sleep for a while longer. It seemed whenever he was forced to wake up at a certain time, he always became sleepier when he woke up.

"Kay'. I go finds da' breakfast," said Papyrus crawling away into the hall.

Sans sighed in relief and went back to sleep as Papyrus "found" their breakfast. It wasn't long however, until he was woken up by a loud crash.

Uh oh.

"PAPPY, WHAT ARE YOU INTO?"

"I DIDN'T DO NOTHIIIIN!"

Getting out of bed for the SECOND time, the little Font went into the kitchen to find a broken plate of spaghetti on the floor.

Papyrus was covered in it.

 "uh oh! looks like the illuminati strikes again! heh heh heh..."

"What you talkin' bout'?"

"you got spaghetti on your head again lil' bro!"

"Dis my hair, is not sgetti..."

"it's not spaghetti huh? then what are those little round things on the floor pappy, hm?"

"Those my balls."

".........."

"They dropped."

"....*cough* well uh, that's a shame-"

"Yep, they all dirty now. You can has them."

"i don't want any dirty meatballs!"

"You gots to eat them. They be a gift from da' baby."

"no, they're gross. i don't even know what you put in them!"

Or how you made them.

"Nyeh? I don't knows what you's talkin' bout'. You confuse da' baby..."

"i know you're fixing these papyrus, you're not fooling anyone."

"I didn't make dis! I's just a baby!"

"YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE AWAKE."

"I's born wit these balls and I growed dis hair yeserday!"

"you're such a freaking liar!"

"EAT MAH BALLS BIG BUTHER OR I'S GONNA CRY!"

"STOP SAYING THAT OR I'M GONNA TELL DAD!"

"What's going on here?!" Gaster stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, glaring at the two boys down on the floor.

"SNAS IS AFTER MAH BALLS DADDY!" yelled Papyrus pointing at Sans.

"NO I'M NOT! HE'S LYING!"

"CALL DA' CPS!"

The what...?

Gaster averted his eyes, pulling on his collar slightly. "Uh Sans, I would like to talk to you alone for awhile. Papyrus stay here please."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

"Kay'." Papyrus picked up a meatball and stuffed it in his mouth, smiling.

It was delicious.