"Gotcha!"

"p-papyrus!"

"NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus laughed as he clung to his big brother's face, crawling up to lie on top of his skull.

"get off my head papyrus!"

"I's not papyrus, I's a hat!"

"you're not a hat!"

"HUFFELPUFF!"

"what?"

"GRIFFINDOR!"

"DAD!"

Gaster sat cross legged in front of baby Papyrus with his arms crossed glaring down at him on the tile floor of the lab. "Enough Papyrus, get off your brother's head, I asked you not to do that many times already. You need to cooperate with me-"

"No."

"Please?"

"YEES!" Papyrus slid down Sans' skull and onto the floor.

"Thank you Papyrus-"

"I wants to pay with Snas."

"it's sans," said Sans leaning against the opposite wall. "and i don't want to play with you." It had been a couple days after Papyrus came into his life and as time passed he became more and more unhappy about it.

Dad likes Pappy more than me...

"Don't be mean to the baby! I WECK YO' FACE!" yelled Papyrus pointing at Sans. The older brother stuck his tongue out at the baby bones, glaring.

"*Sigh* Please focus Papyrus, this is important."

"EEERRRRRNNN!"

"What do you do when a stranger offers you candy?"

Papyrus thought hard for a minute, staring at the wall beyond Gaster. "You asks for two pieces, one for Snas and one for the baby!"

"No, that's incorrec-"

"I's not finished! Damn...den you waits until the stwanger gets a dwink and you puts one of da' candies in their cup..."

"............"

"If the stwanger dies dat means the candies be poison and you thow the other one away," said Papyrus holding his toes and rocking back and forth. Sans averted his eyes, looking nervous.

What's WRONG with this baby?!

"That's still not-"

Papyrus held up a finger. "Den you takes his wallet-"

"Papyrus..."

"And you go to da' store-"

"PAPYRUS."

"AND YOU BUYS ALLLLL DA' CANDIES! NYEH HEH HEE HEE HEE!"

"PAPYRUS NO!"

"That's wrong. Smart, but wrong."

"You just can't appeciate da' baby's genius!"

"*Sigh*" Gaster pinched the space between his eyes. "Okay, let's just try something else."

Papyrus smiled at the wall, proud of himself and excited for the next question.

"What do you say if a stranger says 'If I give you a piece of candy, will you come in my car?"

"I says, give me da' bag and I come in yo' mouth!"

"whoa."

"Get him out of here."

"NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!"

"GET HIM OUT OF HERE NOW!"

"NYEH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Sans picked up his baby brother and carried him back to their room. "what's your damage?!"

"Baby don't gots no damage! baby got jokes!"

Sans laughed, though he tried his best not to. "you-mmm..you can't say those kind of jokes bro! *pfft!* where-where did you even HEAR that?!"

"I weads it in a book."

"and why do you lie so much?!"

"Baby don't lie! I always tells the tooth!" said Papyrus firmly, placing his tiny hands on his hips and looking up proudly with his eyes closed. Sans half expected a flag to appear behind him.

"no you don't! you're ALWAYS lying!"

"He's the Lying Font Sans. I thought we discussed this." Gaster walked into the room and took Papyrus's blocks.

"HEY! DAT'S MY CHEESE!"

"You'll get it back when you learn to behave yourself and take things seriously! I'm trying to raise you correctly-"

"Then gives me my cheese! I needs it for nutrients!"

"so he's like me dad? he HAS to lie all the time like i have to tell jokes all the time?"

"Correct, now stay and here and be quiet, I need to write up the report on Papyrus's FAILURE."

"You sucks Daddy! You's gonna paaaay..."

"I am not afraid of you young man-"

"Not yet you aren't," said Papyrus, his tone suddenly changing. He glared at the wall beyond his father menacingly, as the scientist glared at him.

Sans could almost see the sparks shooting from their glowing eyes as they stared each other down.

Oh...maybe Dad DOESN'T like Pappy better.

"You may THINK you're scary Papyrus, but you're just a tiny little brat. If you don't take these tests seriously, you're going to wind up a failure like your big brother, is that what you want?!"

Never mind...

"*sniff*"

"YOU LEE MY BUTHER ALONE! I KICK YOU IN DA' FACE!"

Thanks Pappy.

Sans hung his head and wiped the tears from his eyes.

I hate you Dad.

"Papyrus we'll continue this tomorrow, Sans clean your room, it's as messed up as your stats." Gaster closed the door and Papyrus stuck his tongue out, blowing a raspberry.

"Daddy a dick, huh big Buther?"

"heh heh heh...you're not suppose to say those words bro..*sniff*"

Papyrus crawled over to Sans and gave him a hug. "You's not a failwere big Buther, baby loves you good! If I mades doody's I'd puts em' in his coffee-"

"why doesn't my font work? if it worked he'd still love me..he used to love me..." said Sans quietly to himself. He hadn't heard Papyrus at all...

CLACK!

Papyrus kissed his brother's cheekbone. "No more cwying, kay'? I doesn't likes it!"

"he used to tell me jokes and laugh with me, he used to say i was fun and funny..."

"........."

"he doesn't listen to me anymore, or play with me anymore! should-should i go away? would everyone be happier if i wasn't around? would they even notice i was gone...?"

"Big Buther...?"

"huh?" Sans looked up, snapping out of the cold dark place he hated so much and visited so often. "wha-what is it pappy? what do you want?"

"If I gots the wallet and bought all da' candies, I'd gives them to you."

Yeah right, sure you would.

Sans sighed and crawled into his bed, he didn't feel like working with Gaster today, he just wanted to sleep. Baby Papyrus watched him sadly and glared at the door again, angry with his father.

It looked like Gaster needed some training of his own...and the best part was Papyrus was too young to get arrested for it!

"Nyeh hee hee hee hee!" laughed the baby, rubbing his hands together deviously. "Daddy gonna learrrrn..."

But first the baby needed supplies...