"woah!"

"Nyeh heh heh!"

"heh, what's this for lil' bro?" asked Sans surprised.

"Dis for you Snas! A small hug from a cute baby, cause' I loves you!"

"aww, that's swee-get your hand out of my pocket."

"Nyeh?"

"don't 'nyeh' me, get your hand out of my pocket. i left my money at home anyway..."

"I doesn't know what you's talkin' bout' Snas..baby just likes yo' hoodie!" said Papyrus snuggling into the fabric.

"yeah okay, i totally believe you."

"Is too! Is warm and fluffy like you big Buther! When I gets widdle again, I's gonna sweep in your rib-cage..."

"what?! ew, no!"

"Just like da' old days..."

"the hell you are!"

Creepy little bastard!

Hold on, is that where he's sleeping?! I know I'm hard to wake up, but damn!

"I feels all safe and warm in there, and your soul be a good night light too! Is perfect for da' baby!"

"so's your crib."

"But I gets lonely all by myselves..." said Papyrus quietly. "and my cwib too widdle for yo' big ass!"

The last part wasn't as quiet.

Several monsters turned to look at them curiously, wanting to know what the baby bones was going on about, but not being brave enough to approach the brothers.

"Is bigger than your future big Buther, nyeh hee hee!"

"language bro, also fuck you."

"I gots to hold onto one of your ribs sometimes so I doesn't sink into the bed wit your butt!"

"sideways papyrus...sideways with the biggest brick you can find."

"Nyeh heh ha ha ha ha!"

Baby was so lucky to have a cuddly, sometimes funny, big brother...

"You makes my day, eryday Snas! When I gets big, I's gonna carry YOU around erywhere and keeps YOU safe!"

"heh, looking forward to it kiddo," said Sans smiling. "you ready to go home?"

"Yeah..I's a sweepy bae..."

"alright then, grab on."

Sans teleported back home and put his brother in his crib who in turn, fell right to sleep.

Paps sure has been sleeping a lot lately, I hope he's okay.

It's not like him to sleep in plain sight either..not that there's anyone left to threaten him.

Climbing into bed, he pulled the covers over himself and quickly joined his brother in slumber, his troubled thoughts drifting from his mind.

"NEYHHHHHHHHHH! NYEH-HAHHHHHHHH!"

"ermmm..uh..." Sans turned over and scrunched up in his bed in an instinctive attempt to somehow block out the noise that had woken him up.

"NYEHHHHHHH! NYEHHHHHAHHHH!"

"ugh..b-bro?"

"NYEHHHHHHHHH!"

"*yawn* c'mon lil' bro..i know babies are supposed to cry at random times, but can it wait until i wake up? it's seven in the morning..."

"SAAAAAANNNNS! SA-HAAANNNNS!!"

Huh? Did he just say Sans..?

"SAAAAAANNNNS!"

Yeah he did, somethings wrong.

"bro?! pappy, what's going on?!" Sans scrambled out of bed and rushed over to the screaming baby bones crib in a panic.

"*GASP!*"

Papyrus lay in his crib covered in orange ectoplasm, crying his frightened little eyes out. Various bones lay beside him, a few having fallen out through the bars.

"NYEHHHHHHHH! HELP DA' BAY-BEEEEE! NYEHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"heh heh heh, hang in there kiddo, i gotcha." Carefully, Sans lifted his brother up, being careful to support his now fragile skull in order to avoid snapping the baby's neck. Papyrus had shrunk a considerable size and from the looks of it he could barely move his hands.

Looks like he finally grew out of his bones.

Geeze that took forever, he's gonna be tall as hell!

"*Sniff* Nyerrnnn...Sa-ans..."

"shhh...it's okay pap. you're okay, big bro's here," said the older skeleton rubbing Papyrus's back soothingly.

"I can't move..."

"i know, your ectoplasm isn't hard enough to support your new bones yet. i'm so proud of you pap. look! look at all those bones you grew out of!" said Sans picking up a small bone and handed it to Papyrus. "you're getting to be a big boy pap!"

Papyrus closed his tiny fist around the bone with great difficulty and practiced wagging it back and forth. "Oooohh!"

"you're so tiny! look how small you are!"

"Nyeh heh ha ha! I's smaller then yo' head big Buther!"

"you sure are! let's go show da-don't do that pap."

"BLAH! Dis nasty!" said Papyrus spitting the orange ectoplasm out of his mouth. "Why you give yucky stuff to the baby?!"

"i didn't say put the bone in your mouth you friggen' weirdo! don't wipe your tongue off on my hoodie, what's wrong with you?!"

"It taste like the fish lady's ears..."

"don't-don't lick undyne's fins bro..that's really gross."

"Is slimey and wubbery-"

"stop."

Sans took his brother into the bathroom and turned on the facet in the sink, waiting for it to get warm.

I need to start getting up early so I can get him to exercise his plasm, if I don't it'll harden too much and he may not be able to move ever again. I need to make sure it stays flexible so he can move his limbs or he'll wind up a statue!

"Imma put dis stuff in Daddy's coffee!"

"huh? oh, oh yeah?"

"Yeah! He gonna dwink it and he gonna be like 'why my coffee taste like doggy snot?' then he gonna look in his cup and sa-"

"and say 'damn it sans, why weren't you watching him? he's YOUR responsibility! give me your books, you're not allowed to read them for a week!"

"He bedder not! I kicks him in da' FACE!"

"how you gonna do that when you can't move pap?" asked Sans laughing. "you and me are gonna be practicing crawling and walking to make sure your ectoplasm grows strong and flexible! we're gonna get up early everyday and train you like that boxer human in that old movie we found!"

"Why you's so excited bout' exercise-HEY! GET YO' CWEEP HANDS OFF MAH JAMMIES!"
yelled Papyrus attempting to kick his legs, unfortunately though they weren't strong enough to move yet.

"you need a bath baby bro," said Sans wearily, unzipping Papyrus's sticky onesie.

Why's he so suspicious of me?! Is this just a running gag he likes to pull or...?

"NO! DAAAAAADYYYYYY! SNAS BE CWEEPING ON DA' BABY AGAIIIN!"

"i'm not."

"HE AFTER MAH TINY HINEY DADDY! SAVE DA' BABY!"

"there we go, now i just put this..somewhere..."

Should I put his onesie in the hamper? It might stick to it or the other clothes in his ectoplasm hardens...

"Enjoy yo'self while you can big stink Buther, vengeance will be mine."

Sans ignored his brother and wet the nearby wash cloth with warm water.

"Dis will be remembered and you's gonna be all KINDS of sorr-oohhhh! Dat's warm water!"

"of course it's warm water, you're supposed to use warm water...is dad giving you cold baths?!"

"I like dis! Is nice..."

Cheap bastard, he WOULD try to save time like that, poor Pappy...

Papyrus smiled and closed his eyes as Sans gently washed his skull and arms, cooing happily.

"you're so cute papyrus, if you want i could give you baths instead of dad..."

Cold baths CAN'T be healthy for him.

"Nyeh hee hee hee! I loves you good Snas, you's so nice to the baby..."

"i love you too pap-"

"You can go lower if you wants..."

"uhhh..."

"Riiiiight here...!"

"GUH!"

Sans pulled his hand away and quickly shut off the water, wrapping Papyrus up in a towel.

"what the hell papyrus?! creepy little freak!"

"What?! You's SUPPOSED to wash baby erywhere so I doesn't get sick! You doesn't want your cute widdle buther to get sick do you?"

....I need to invent brain shampoo.

"I won't tell nobody Snas. You can be EXTRA nice to da' baby if you wants..."

"you're making me uncomfortable," said Sans rushing back to the nursery.

I REALLY hope he doesn't get taller than me. I can definitely see myself getting a restraining order before adulthood.

"Oh yeah! Since my cwib be full of baby goo, dat means I gets to sweep wit you now right?"

"wrong."

Sans made a bed out of Papyrus's toy chest and placed his brother inside.

"Why you gots to pay wit my widdle heart Snas? I gots feelings ya' know?"

Sans closed the lid.

"YOU'S GONNA BE SORRY WHEN YOU'S LONELY!"

Sans went to sleep.