CA-THINK!

Gaster opened the door to the nursery, looking tired and annoyed.

"Sans, could you PLEASE keep your brother quiet? You have one job."

The young Font nodded but didn't bother telling him who was really responsible for the noise. Even if Flowey WAS trying to avoid Papyrus and only Papyrus, Sans could already predict what would happen if he ratted him out.

He'll be a jackass and leave the air vent...assuming I can get Dad to believe there's a talking flower in there to begin with.

He waited for his father to leave the room, but curiously, he did not. Instead, the scientist pulled on something behind him, apparently trying to bring something heavy through the nursery door.

"Don't bother lending me your assistance or anything Sans. That would just be too much."

"i thought i had one job?"

Grunting, Gaster finally pulled the thing he was struggling with into the room and sat it where Papyrus's crib used to be...much to the baby bone's dismay.

"DIS is my new cwib? Dis piece of cap right here?"

"It's not a piece of crap, and you should be grateful for whatever you get."

Sans looked at the new crib, if you could even CALL it new that is. The addition was gross. The metal sheen had long since worn off, leaving it rusty and bare, and some of the bars were missing to the point where the remaining might as well have not even been there. It was definitely in need of at LEAST a mattress and it was definitely from the Dump.

"this looks dangerous dad..."

"You buy dis wit food stamps?"

"It doesn't matter, this is all you're getting."

"We poor now? We got da' poor?"

"you don't catch poor, baby bro. it's not a disease; who told you that?"

A cough emanated from the air vent.

"Does dis mean I can eats at the Dump now?" asked Papyrus, ignoring his brother.

"Absolutely not! We aren't poor-"

"Then you should buy baby a new cwib...cause' I's not sweeping in dat one. I needs my cwib to be cushy for mah tushie!"

"Then you can borrow. my. FOOT, because I am NOT scouring the Dump for another one just so you can ruin it."

"Imma tell da' king you's trying to give baby tetnis."

"Rust doesn't cause tetanus, so go right ahead."

"Imma tell da' king you's trying to give me da' poor."

"Are you done? You're either sleeping here or in the toy box, end of discussion."

CA-THUNK!

Gaster left the nursery, closing the door behind him.

"UCK YOU DOUCHE DADDY! I'll SWEEP AT DA' KING'S HOUSE! NYEH!"

Papyrus rolled onto his back and kicked at the new crib with both feet angrily. "NYEH NYEH NYEH!"

CLANG CLANG CLANG!

"hey bro, quit it!"

"NYEHHHHHHHAAAHHH!!"

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG!

"KNOCK IT OFF BRAT!"

Papyrus instantly stopped and glared at the air vent.

"Yell at me again. Yell at me again, Dirt-Butt and see if I don't shove my juice box up your juice box."

"What? What does that even MEAN? Is that supposed to be scary or...?"

"i think he just threatened to shove his juice box up your vagina Flowey," said Sans chuckling.

Damn bro, where'd you hear that?

"Oh, oh yeah? You think your tough huh? Thug life straight out the womb?"

"I'll slaps you like yo' mama should have, nyeh heh heh!"

A growl was heard from within the air vent, and to Sans' surprise, Flowey emerged and jumped out...immediately face-planting on the carpet.

"UGH! WHAT THE HELL?!"

WHERE'S THE FRIGGEN' CRIB MATTRESS?!

"Ooooh, you's small as hell Dirt-Butt! You slip right through the holes!"

"you alright lil' guy?"

Flowey got up and looked behind him. There really WAS no crib mattress! He hadn't been able to see it very well through the grating he slipped through, but now he could tell just what a piece of crap it truly was.

Had he a soul, he might of felt bad for Papyrus, but right now all he felt was hate for the lazy good-for-nothing who'd unintentionally fooled him into embarrassing himself.

Gibberish-speaking FREAK! Who does he think he is, disobeying MY dad like that?! I KNOW he was ordered to look after these two. Does he think he can just do whatever he wants just because he's the royal scientist?!

"Oh you poor baby! Your dad really DOESN'T know how to be a good parent does he?"

"..."

"You can't sleep in this...you SHOULDN'T have to sleep in this. Maybe staying at the king's house is not so bad an idea. He lost his two kids you know, that means he has two free beds that aren't being used..."

"so?"

"So I'm sure he wouldn't mind letting you stay with him when he hears about this. He LOVES children, maybe you two should pay him a visit?"

Heh heh heh...

"you're talking about running away."

"It's not 'running away,' it's visiting a lonely old man. Think of how sad he must be! All alone in a big empty house...his family destroyed..."

"Awww, dat's sad. Isn't dat sad Snas? We should go visit Fluffy Buns and give him a hug. Erybody loves a hug from a good baby!"

"don't..don't call him that bro."

"I bet he'd LOVE a hug from you. It'd probably make his whole day."

Come on...come on you dumb little-

"sure, whatever. maybe dad'll take care of us better if he knows we're willing to leaf."

YES!!

"That's great!" said Flowey ignoring the pun. "He's gonna be soooo happy! The king I mean."

HA HA HA HA! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR JOB, NERD! Maybe you can find work at a funeral home somewhere, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

...

Why DOES he wear black all the time?

"Yaaay!" Papyrus bounced up in down on his rear end excitedly, picturing he and his brother cuddling up together in the giant bed.

His old crib and the toy box were too small for Sans to fit into, but this one would be different. He had actually seen the bed before while exploring the Underground and it was exactly like the one in Goldilocks and the Three Bears! Not only would it fit them both, but they could roll around too, without the fear of falling out in the middle of the night. He missed being small enough to hug Sans while he slept...

"Less go now kay'? Right now."

"wh-now? pap, it's nine at night-"

"Then it'll be a surprise!" said Flowey quickly. "It'll be like Present Day for him, trust me."

Sans gave him a skeptical look, but said nothing. He didn't believe for a second that Flowey had their best interests in mind, but he felt a need to avenge his brother somehow.

Besides there was nothing worse than unproductive laziness. If someone wanted to do something half-assed then they needed to make sure they were successful, otherwise it was just sloppy work.

"alright everyone, hold onto me."

"Uhh, no. Thanks but no thanks Trashbag. I'd rather stay here."

So I can see the look on that freak's face when he gets that phone call, heh heh heh...

"GACK!"

Papyrus grabbed Flowey's stem and promptly put him in his mouth like a dog carrying a bone, then he lifted his arms up, signaling to his brother that he wanted to be carried too.

"heh, alright lil' guy. hrrup! let's get outta here."

"EW! EW-HEH HEWWW! SMILEYYY, HE'S DROOLING ON ME! GET HIM OFF!!"

"E gots to take Fuffy Bunny too, Nas!"

"you want to take your fluffy bunny book? why? that thing's evil!"

"Nah if ooh find Fuffy Bunny..."

"OH GOD I CAN FEEL HIS TONGUE, AND HIS BREATHE SMELLS LIKE BABY FORMULA! I CAN'T BREATHE!!"

Picking up the strange book, Sans closed his eyes and pictured as hard as he could exactly where he wanted to go.

It was always hard to keep his mind focused long enough to teleport as he had an imagination more powerful than most, but this time, not only was he unfamiliar with the destination, but he had Flowey screaming in the background.

It's going to take me awhile to clear my thoughts with this weed distracting me and making me wanna laugh.

"could you please stop screaming? i can't concentrate and if i make a mistake..."

"NO I WON'T STOP YELLING, I DON'T EVEN WANNA GO! GET YOUR DISGUSTING BROTHER OFF ME!!"

Sans sighed and tried again. Obviously Flowey didn't realize how bad the consequences could be if he were to mess up. Usually when he traveled like this he would error and wind up in the location, but not the exact place he was thinking of. When he went to Waterfall, he'd sometimes find himself in the water near the docks, ruining his cellphone, or on top of one of Undyne's favorite rocks, making him try it again just so he could get down safely. He always had a constant fear of ending up stuck in between a wall or building and he NEVER teleported to Hotland.

Sucks that I live HERE of all places. There's lava everywhere, and the walkways are so narrow...

"Nyeh? I e no go et?"

"uh, sorry pap. i was thinking about hotland. it sucks that i can't just take a shortcut there. i have to walk all the time..."

"Oh my GOD, you're lazy. So what if you can't teleport to Hotland!? You can get to the lab just fine!" exclaimed Flowey, tired of screaming.

"yeah, but it's at the BEGINNING of hotland-"

"There's nothing there."

"but what if i wanted to go for some reason?"

"THERE'S NOTHING THERE SMILEY. Can we go already?! The more we wait the more petals I have to tear off and regrow. Your idiot brother's obviously not going to put me down-"

"Nyeh heh heh..."

"OR CARRY ME WITH ONE OF HIS TWO FREE HANDS, so-"

"papyrus, take him out of your mouth."

"Kay'." Papyrus removed the plant from his between his teeth, clutching him in his tiny fist.

"good boy pappy. hey, uh flowey, i don't suppose you have a picture of the king's bedroom or maybe the other kid's do ya'?"

"Wh-NO! NO I DON'T HAVE PICTURE'S OF THEIR BEDROOMS!" cried the flower incredulously. "WHY WOULD I HAVE THAT?! WHAT KIND OF A CREEP DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

"the kind that hides in air vents and watches children."

"..."

"I gots one!" cried the baby bones excitedly pulling a photo out of his onesie. He handed it to Sans smiling triumphantly.

It felt good to be useful.

The image itself was dark, but still clear. A picture of the king's room...or at least his bed anyway. In it lay Asgore, sleeping peacefully after a hard day's work next to a figure he couldn't quite make out. Sans wasn't sure when it was taken, but if his highness wasn't losing sleep, then it had to of been before he lost his family. Nowadays the king looked like he wasn't sleeping at all.

The other figure must be his wife.

"Why do you have that?"

"I gots anudder one too, just in case he be seeping."

Papyrus pulled out another photo. This one had was of the kid's room, though it was a close-up of only one of the beds within. In it lay a sleeping goat child in green, clutching a blanket in one of his paws.

"..."

"They smell like grass big Buther."

"I want that photo."

"*pfft!* heh heh ha ha ha! papyrus you can't-heh hee hee! you c-can't just take pictures of people pappy, especially their kids-"

"Why not?! Dis my friend and he fluffy as hell!"

"Give me that photo."

"it's illegal, that's why! even if they don't put babies in jail, they can STILL find this when you're an adult, and you'll STILL get in trouble."

"Nuh uh! It says on da' back when it be taken. They gonna know I tooks it when I's widdle, and cause' they know babies don't know any bedder, I won't go to jail."

"You'll go to hell if you don't give me that photo you little creep..."

"well you still shouldn't have it. we can't use these anyway, the kid's bed is too close to the wall and the king might be asleep."

"But...I do not wish to sweep in da' trash cwib...*sniff*" The tiny skeleton dropped Flowey and wrapped his arms around Sans' neck, burying his head in his hoodie sadly. He had been waiting for a new crib for a long time now, and this was a massive disappointment. There was no way he could sleep in that rusty junk heap, but a toy box was no place for a baby either.

"Nyehhh..."

"aww, *tsk* don't cry baby bro...tell ya' what, we'll give it a shot, how's that?"

The baby bones nodded and looking at the picture, Sans took his shortcut.

"HEY ASSHOLES, YOU LEFT ME BEHIND!!"