"I know you keep looking for do overs, but there are no do overs there is just the way things are. You're trying to accept that, you're trying to make amends with the decision of the universe. You wanted to at least end it on good terms, make it hurt a little less. But there just wasn't any time for that. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and you feel that, you're falling apart everywhere, in multiple areas of your life but you're keeping it together anyways. And I know you're suddenly mad at the universe because while things fell apart, other things started coming together that weren't together before and it's like you don't understand why the universe is like this. For some reason your father's encouraging you to get out more, when he's been keeping you inside day in and day out, he's never encouraged you to leave and go and do whatever you feel like doing. You're losing sleep again, your migraines are back you haven't had migraines since last year. You miss your friend. You're mad that the friend you were supposed to have is gone. You wonder if your friend even really cares. That stranger. You're mad and hurt, and tired. And you want to empty yourself of your thoughts and emotions so it would all just go away."