'protective'
i had no choice but to stand and watch
as my father grabbed a boy
by the front of his shirt and shoved him
against a wall
"don't come near her ever again"
slapping and punching him senselessly
while all i could do was be held back
forced to watch
"dad stop, stop"
i let out, my voice shaking.

protective, is what he said he was.
and that was true, up until
one night
he backed me into a corner
and punched and slapped me even more senselessly
i let out the same line
voice barely audible

every morning he'd act as if nothing had happened
the night before
as if he didn't remember that he was the one who left
the marks on me

and for a while
i had to be protective
of myself
in my own home.