my dad walked into my room

"What you don't understand is that he doesn't care about you. She doesn't care about you. They do not care. They only tell you the words they know you want to hear. You won't benefit from him or her or them. They'll only want what benefits them, and then they'll toss you aside when they're tired of you. They'll waste your time. You honestly think that when you're broken and sick they'll be at your side? That they'll lift you up, make you happy? No. No they won't do that because what business do they have with you and your wellbeing? They won't love you. And you care too much, especially for people who don't care about you. You sacrifice so much, and for what? Your good for nothing, worthless people that you call your friends."

I bit my tongue, not wanting to look him in the eye. I kept my eyes faced down. I wanted to speak up but I knew that'd get me a slap to the face. In my mind I was insisting, no you're wrong. For some reason sometime in your life you were let down and you gave up that's why you think like this. You're wrong. I am loved and cared for. I know so. I don't understand why you raise me this way, you put these thoughts in my head that are the reason why I cannot commit to anyone or anything, the reason why I'm scared and become distant when I realize I am too close. I can't get over it, the fact that I might never be able to stop letting people down because of what's in my mind.

I kept quiet, letting him continue. When he was done I opened my mouth to say something

"You're right. They don't care. They never did and they never will."

He smiled and gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead. I closed my door and locked it, slid down against the door and hugged my knees to my chest. I cried. For alot of reasons. My dad used to be my bestfriend, and now it's like whenever I'm crying he's not the one I want to run to for comfort anymore. My face was soaked, and I quickly wiped away the tears with my sleeve and looked down at my arm. Sighing I pulled my sleeves down, straightening my hair out with my fingers and pushing all my emotioms back once again.