~Nat's POV

I sit at my desk, finishing up some work Fury assigned me to do when I heard a knock on the door.

"Hey, Nat, can I come in?" It's Clint.

"Yeah, sure." I reply.

He walks in and sits on my bed.

"Wanna go down to the market and raid the candy section and go high on sugar?" He smirks.

"Maybe another day, Clint. I'm exhausted." I yawn.

"Awww." He moans.

"Another day, now go away." I say.

He rolls his eyes and walks out the door and shuts it behind him.

I've gotten basically no sleep at all these past few days. I just can't fall asleep, it's not even nightmares.

"Stark, you better stop!" I hear Sam yell from the living room.

I stomp to the living room and see what all the fuss is about.

"Will you all be quiet?" I yell.

"Tony keeps stealing my gear!" Sam yells back.

"Well lock it up!" I snap.

"Fuck off, Nat!" Tony sits down on the couch away from Sam.

"Language!" Steve warns him.

James is sat next to Steve with Clint on his right. Wanda is sat in between Sam and Tony on the other couch.

"I'm so exhausted." I moan and collapse on the carpet.

"What time did you sleep, Nat?" James asks me.

"I didn't get any sleep all night." I giggle.

"What? Why not?" He sits down on the carpet where I'm laying.

"I couldn't fall asleep." I say.

"I slept like a baby last night." Tony puts his feet up on the table.

"Thank you for your input." I glare at him.

"Nat, I can see in your head that you are very tired." Wanda says.

"I know, I'm exhausted." I yawn.

Like I didn't know that, Wanda.

"Come on, let's go." James picks me up.

"Where are we going?" I moan.

"Sleepy time." He chuckles.

"...Mmm." I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my arms around him and closing my eyes. I then let the darkness consume me.

Bucky's POV

I hold Nat in my arms and carry her to her room. She looks so beautiful and peaceful as I take her there. I lay her on the bed and lie down with her and wrap my arms around her. I wrap the covers over us and kiss her on the cheek as I slowly drift to sleep.

Nat's POV~

I hear mumbling from beside me. I turn my head to see James definitely having a nightmare. Oh god.

"James, come on. Wake up." I run my fingers through his hair.

He mutters things in Russian, something about incomplete missions?

"James! Soldier, wake up!" I shake him and straight away regret calling him that.

He shoots right up and sits there for a minute or two. I still lie in my bed and stare at him. He's different? He turns and looks at me. I stare into his eyes and see coldness. Emptiness and coldness. A dull shade of blue.

"You okay there?" I sit up with the covers over me.

He stands up and hovers over me. This isn't James.

"James...?" I stand in front of him.

He shuts his eyes tightly.

"Nat... I'm sorry if anything happens but I can't control it anymore." He whispers.

He runs out the door and goes to his bedroom door. I follow after him but he walks in and slams the door in my face. Rude? Not even the Winter Soldier can keep me away though.

"James, just open up, I don't care." I bang on the door.

Then I think about how many times James has been there for me. I'm probably just risking my life for nothing but I just want him to know he's not alone. I open the door and walk in, shutting the door behind me. He's nowhere to be seen.

"James, I know you're here." I call out then roll my eyes.

I walk towards his closet and open it to see his Winter Soldier outfit gone. Oh boy. I then feel someone kick me in the back which causes me to stumble to the floor and hit my jaw on something, I didn't see what though. I feel my jaw and then see blood.

"James, what the heck?" I pull myself up and stand in front of him.

"I don't want to hurt you." I move closer towards him and look up at him.

"<And you are my mission>" He growls and reaches for his drawers then grabs out a knife.

"James, please. You can control it..." I hold his arm and he kicks me to the ground again.

"I'm not going to hurt you, James. Kill me then." I whisper.

"<I am going to finish off my mission.>" He growls.

"If that's how you want it." I say.

I lunge at him and punch him in the face, smashing his goggles. He rips them off, throws them on the floor and tries slicing my leg with the knife but I dodge it. I jump kick him to the wall and flip onto his shoulders. He knocks me onto the floor with a crash and I let out a whimper. He then grabs me by the throat with his metal arm and I kick him as hard as I can in the gut. I jump up and he tries stabbing me in the chest but ends up slitting my shoulder a little. I punch him in the face repeatedly and he grabs my arms and swings me onto the floor which makes me land on my face.

"Do it." I cry.

He hesitates for a minute then punches me in the face.

"Kill me then, what are you waiting for?" I say.

I start to stand but he stomps on my side repeatedly, causing me to sob and whimper in pain. I just pray I have no broken ribs. I force myself to stand and I come face to face with Ja- I mean the Winter Soldier. Tears stream down my face but I ignore them and the pain in my side and glare into his eyes.

"What the hell is going on in here?" I hear Clint yell.

"Clint get out!" I warn him.

Steve, Sam and Tony enter the room. James throws the knife at Clint and aims for his head but he dodges it.

"Now that was close." Clint sighs.

"Nat, what's going on?" Steve asks.

"That's not James, I think he's in Winter Soldier HYDRA mode or something." I call out.

James runs over to Sam and grabs him by the neck and kicks Steve in the stomach while doing so.

"Oh for god's sake." Sam moans.

"Oh my gosh, guys?" Wanda walks in.

"Wanda, make him unconscious for some time." Clint suggests.

Wanda uses some of her red magic and James falls to the ground, the guys take him to the living room. I wait for them to leave then sit on his floor, sobbing into my hands. I feel soft fingers run through my hair.

"Nat, I'm going to do my best to help him go back to his normal self." Wanda pulls me in for a hug.

"Thank you, Wanda." We both walk out into the living room.

James is lying on the couch. Everyone stares at me in shock.

"Nat, your face and body." Tony gasps.

"Yeah, I know." I drag my feet over to James and lay on his chest.

I don't care if he snaps.

Wanda puts her fingers on his temple and he opens his eyes.

"What just happened, guys?" James yawns.

Clint explains to him what happened and I sit up and hug myself. James sees that I'm silently crying and pulls me in for a hug.

"Nat, what's wrong?" He asks.

"I'm just scared." I say half the truth.

"It's okay now, Nat." Steve reassures me.

I take a deep breath and kiss James on the cheek.

"I hurt you, I think." James looks sad and guilty.

"Only a little, you just knocked me to the ground and cut my shoulder a little." I lie because I can't stand him upset.

Clint sits next to me and accidentally nudges my side. I jump and whimper in pain.

"Woah, are you alright?" Sam asks.

I nod but I'm clearly not doing a good job of hiding the pain. I definitely have bruises all over my side.

"Nat, what's up?" James sits me on his lap.

"Okay, I got a more than a little injured but it's fine."

"Nat, I'm so fucking sorry." He hugs me tightly and kisses me a few times.

"It's okay, James." I kiss him back.

"Moving on... Bucky how the hell did that happen?" Tony asks.

"The HYDRA programming is still in his mind." Wanda puts her fingers on James's temple again.

"What caused him to snap like that?" Steve asks.

"A nightmare." I look down.

"I don't remember anything, why?" James says.

"I can help you remember if you'd like me to." Wanda tells him.

"What if it confuses him?" I can't let them do this.

"Tash, are you okay?" Clint asks me.

"Y-yeah." I reply.

"Wanda, can you make me remember?" James asks her.

Oh for God's sake, does this boy ever stop?

"Yes, b-" Wanda pauses.

"Nat?" She walks over to me and softly places her hand on my cheek.

"What is the matter?" She asks.

"I'm fine, Wanda." I give her and everyone else a convincing smile.

"If you're sure." She walks over to James.

Wanda puts her fingers on James's temple, again and they both close their eyes. Some time later they both open their eyes.

"Nat..." He takes a deep breath and wraps his arms around me as tight as he can.

"Yeah?" I hug him.

"I'm so sorry, Doll. I didn't mean to hurt you." He says.

"It weren't you. I know you didn't mean to." I reassure him.

"Okay, now can someone tell us what the hell is going on?" Clint asks.

We explain and me and James make my way to his room. He sits on his bed and doesn't say a word.

"James?" I whisper to him.

"Yes?" He stares at the blood on his carpet.

"I-I love you." I stutter.

"Natalia, I love you too." He goes pink.

"Is my Soldier blushing?" I tease and peck him on the lips.

"Is that yours or mine?" He points to the blood stains.

"Both of ours, we both got our asses kicked." I giggle.

He giggles as well and kisses me passionately. He then looks me up and down.

"Why do I do these things?" I can tell he's holding back tears.

"Not you, James."

"Can I see...?" He gently feels my side.

"Sure, probably not that bad anyway." I giggle then lift up my shirt to reveal a mixture of blue, green and purple.

"Holy..."

"Okay, I take that back." I giggle and check it out in the mirror.

"God I am so sorry, I can't get how scared you were out of my head." He puts his face in his hands.

"Don't sweat about it, it weren't you anyway." I repeat for like the millionth time.

"I'm dangerous though, Nat." He says flatly.

"Dangerously mine, Buchanan." I tease.

"Really? My middle name?" He rolls his eyes.

"Mhmm." I smirk then lean over him.

He pulls me onto the bed with him and we kiss and hug for a while until we hear someone storm in.

"Hey c- OH MY LORD!" Tony shrieks.

"STARK, GET OUT!" I growl.

"Damnnnnn, Nat!" He chuckles.

James glares at Tony.

"Ahhh, I'll leave now..." He backs away and shuts the door.

"Wait here." James runs out.

What is he up to now?

"Lie down, Doll." He walks back in with ice packs.

"James, I'm fine, honest." I do as I'm told.

He lifts up my shirt and puts an ice pack on my side and I gasp.

"Shit, did I hurt you?" He asks.

"No, it's just a bit cold." I kiss him and smile as he goes pink.

"You better stop kissing me when I least expect me." He smirks.

"Awww, is my soldier a little embarrassed?" I tease him.

"No." He pouts.

I kiss him again and laugh at his reaction then pull him onto the bed.

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Oml literally all of these chapters are about sleep, that's me writing at like 3 in the morning xD