james' pov

i slowly open my eyes, natalia is tucked next to me in my bed. i yawn and slowly stretch so that i don't wake her up. i look down at her, she's so pretty whilst asleep. she looks at peace, like an angel. i can't believe i almost went back. back to hydra...and i dragged nat with me. how can i be so stupid? i stare at her for a few minutes, taking in her beauty.

"you know...it's kinda creepy to stare at someone who's sleeping." she says in a tired voice and i quickly look away.

"uh well, you have the face of an angel so i can if i want." i tell him in a proud voice.

"bad excuse." she smiles as she closes her eyes again, i shift closer to her body.

i stay there, listening to how her breathing gets deeper as she sleeps. it's calming, it relaxes me. as i listen, i think about her and me. i then think of the red room, leading to me thinking about hydra. a wave of anger washes over me.

go back...

never. hydra is not my home and it never was or will be. it's a place of torture and pain. then again, if it wasn't for hydra, i wouldn't be here today. i wouldn't be with natalia.

no, fuck hydra.

let's serve them again, we owe them.

darkness.

nat's pov

i wake up to feel something choking me around my neck, i open my eyes to see james? yet it's not james, it's the winter soldier. shit.

"james...no...stop it." i choke out as i kick him away from me.

he continues choking me until all i can see is darkness.

time skip

"ow..." i groan as i try to pull myself up to stand but i realise i've been...chained?

i look around me in panic, i'm in a dark room. the floors cold, my hands are chained to a pole next to me. i spot james sitting opposite me.

"j-james? where the fuck are we?" i ask him, he has a lifeless expression on his face.

"...hydra." he stands up and comes hovers over me, i'm on the ground, not able to move because of these damn chains.

"no...you're joking." i panic.

"i'm so sorry, doll. i'm so fucking sorry, it's all my fault. i couldn't stop it and-"

"it's not your fault, we're leaving. get me out of these damn chains and we're going." i tug on the chain but it doesn't bug.

he slowly nods and reluctantly pulls them off of me with his metal hand. i sigh and stand up next to him. the door is most definitely guarded.

"are there agents out there?" i point at the door.

"too many, we won't make it." he says in a monotone voice and i roll my eyes.

"no with that attitude we won't." i hiss as he scoffs at me.

"you're right, let's bust out of this shithole."

he kicks the door down and agents start running at us, we fight them until we reach down the corridor. more agents come but we fight them side by side and knock them out. an alarm goes off, it flashes red and i kick it. it stops but then more alarms go off, i hiss in frustration.

"i'll hold them back, you leave." he pulls me by my shoulder.

"are you fucking insane? no the fuck you are not, i am not leaving my man at this shithole." i snap in his face and knock out a agent running at us with a punch to the head.

"fuck yes. this is my mess."

"i said no!" i tell him as i hear agents yelling at each other from other wings of the building.

he stares at me as if he's making a decision. when he nods to himself i shake my head at him, my eyes filling with tears. he sighs at me and holds my hand.

"i-i can't lose you. i can't be without you." i admit to him as my voice cracks.

"you're gonna have to, doll. never forget, i love you with all my heart." he tells me as we look around, making sure we don't see anymore agents heading towards us.

"no, no, no!" i yell at him.

he takes a deep breath and slams his lips against mine. we kiss for a good few minutes and i don't pull away, neither does he. we passionately kiss until we hear loud noises coming towards us.

"there's a exit on the left, run!" he pushes me.

"no, if you think i'm leaving, you're even madder than i thought." i sob and cross my arms to show how serious i am.

"I SAID GO, GODDAMNIT!" he yells at me which causes me to flinch.

"i love you." i blurt out as he sighs at me.

"i love you too. tell everyone i'll see them soon, tell steve especially and also say thank you for everything." he runs back down the corridor and punches agents who are shooting at me.

"this isn't goodbye, james!" i yell but he doesn't hear me.

i blink away tears and run left like he told me, it's surprisingly empty. i feel my heart ache with pain and beat faster and faster as i run until i reach the exit.

out of anger, i kick the door down and run out into the distance. i'm exhausted but when i hear gunshots being fired at me, it gives me a sudden boost of energy which makes me run even faster. i left him. why the fuck did i leave him? why? i'm an idiot. i will never forgive myself if james doesn't make it out without being brainwashed. never.

this isn't goodbye. it can't be otherwise i don't know how i'm going to cope.

noooo ;(((