Harry

"Is everything in order?" I ask a soldier sitting at one of the lined desks, his body hovering over the mics and communication machines with hundreds of little buttons displayed on it. I'm pacing back and forth nervously, hoping everything is going to run smoothly.

If only I wasn't a coward, I could've gone with them.

"Yes, sir," he replies. "Every team has let us know about their whereabouts a few minutes ago."

"Good, that's good. Yep, very good, everyone's alive, no one's going to die, nope," I mumble, clasping my hands behind my back to prevent myself from fidgeting with them.

Liam, who's been silently observing me so far from his place at one of the desks, pretends he's cutting something with a knife in his hand. "Oh don't mind me, I'm just cutting the tension you're spreading around."

"Can you the fuck not do this shit?" I snap at him. "Your constant laid back mood is so annoying. Just be mad or nervous, god dammit."

"Ah, but I can't," Liam replies. "I've got a solution for your problem, my stiff friend." He stands up from his seat and stuffs one of his hands into his pocket while taking something from the desk. He extends his arms in front of him, each hand holding an item.

He opens his left palm, a condom placed on top of it, while there's a bottle of some alcoholic beverage in his other hand. "Two things you need to release the tension. It's what helps me get by." He smirks. "Sex and alcohol."

"Seriously, Liam, seriously?" I ask with a straight face. "You keep that stuff in our surveillance room?"

Liam chuckles. "Oh sweet, innocent curly kitten," the bastard says sweetly. "I keep that stuff everywhere. I mean, you never know." He smiles cheekily.

"Sir?" One of the soldiers calls me.

I frantically run toward him. "Ooh shit, what is it? They're under attack, aren't they? Who died? How bad is it? Fuck it, I'm sending help--"

"Sir, no one's getting attacked," he interrupts me. "Not yet, anyway. Our troops sent to monitor activity in Vortex have just let us know they've sent at least fifty of their vehicles on the road. They're moving north-west toward our territory apparently."

"They what?" I ask in disbelief, my anger starting to brew inside me. They've been watching us as well, I'm certain they've been waiting for this opportunity. "They know where the meeting is taking place. Sound the alarm and send all the available troops on the field," I instruct to the soldiers sitting at their desks, watching as they comply immediately.

Liam claps once, muttering a "hell yes" under his breath. He pats me on the back. "Let's go, Styles, time to take out the trash."

"You're still limping, Liam, you're not going."

"Just try and stop me, I'm joining my mates out there," Liam replies, a frown on his face. "You going?"

Panic slowly begins creeping within me, reminding me I'm too weak. My lips part to reply I won't be leaving the base when Elena's words ring in my head. It will be okay. I can almost feel her hand in mine and see her calming eyes and my previous thoughts disappear almost instantly. I have to take a risk eventually, what a better time to do it than when my soldiers need me?

"Yes," I say firmly. "Let's go."

. . . .

I don't let myself think about my buried problems or the possibility of having another one of my attacks. I can only think about my friends dying here on the field, about soldiers fighting to protect what's ours. There's only blood, death, and fear around me, once again I'm surrounded by the harsh cruelty of war. I look up at the sky, seeing its grey, dull colour with rain filled clouds hanging above us. Occasional strong blows of the wind and low growling of an approaching storm in the distance are a sign it's going to get real ugly any moment now.

I was incredibly relieved to see Niall is okay, my heart actually stopped in my chest when I saw him lying on the ground with Elena beside him. The sight took me back a few years in the past, but I was able to resist it and focus on my wounded friend. I don't know how would I deal with the loss if the wound was lethal.

I shout out orders in the earpiece, I shout at the soldiers nearby, not wanting to give any advantage to Vortex. Not on our territory and on my fucking watch. I curse loudly as yet another one of our vehicles with supplies gets blown up, its pieces scattering on the ground. Sparks fly in the air from the rest of the burning vehicles, the flames igniting the grass around them. The majority of the trucks have managed to leave toward the base, delivering the much needed supplies, but now that I see the absolute chaos around me, I realise the losses will be grand. Supplies are a minor thing compared to all the brave men and women giving their lives to protect the North.

Luckily, I've brought all the available troops with me, our number exceedingly outnumbering Vortex. We're lying on the ground, hidden in a ditch dug specifically for a situation like this. Our weapons are clenched in our hands, eyes focused on the battle. I glance at Hazard soldiers, watching as they skillfully fire at Vortex, giving signals to each other. Unfortunately, I'm frozen, unable to load the gun and shoot, unable to move. I haven't been in a fight like this for too long.

"Harry!" I heard Liam's alarmed voice behind me, his hand clamping over my shoulder and spinning me around. "Harry, it's Vortex, they're near!"

My eyes widened, but I didn't let any panic take over me. I was expecting this to happen, that's why I came prepared, I could do this. "Everyone get ready," I said into the earpiece. I was finally going to prove everyone's theories about me being a born leader, I was finally going to win. I was ready to replace my father.

I remember thinking this was going to be a success because I had planned this to the tiniest detail. Vortex had infiltrated our territory and claimed it as theirs after killing so many of our brave soldiers, so I took it upon myself to retrieve it and avenge them. I had my friends and my brother supporting me, my first real mission was going to be flawless. I was just a nineteen-year-old kid, inexperienced and dumb, to say the least. I was nowhere near cut out to lead the severe army ambush.

But you don't realise these things until it's too late.

"H, come on!" Elena's voice brings me from my thoughts. Her hand is on my back, her body close to mine as she holds her weight with her elbow. "We need you here," she tells me. "You can do this."

My eyes meet hers, searching for any sign of fear or uncertainty, but I find none. I only see the will to fight and survive. Dirt is caked in the crevices of her skin and pores, just like I imagine my face looks as well at the moment, eyebrows furrowed in worry and concentration. When I look at her, I see the girl I saw on the day I met her. Brave, ready to fight. Despite the situation, despite the fact we're surrounded by soldiers, I seize the opportunity and lower my lips onto hers in a quick and chaste kiss.

"Take care," I say quietly.

She's surprised for a moment and I swear I see a smile on her lips, but it evaporates quickly, replaced with a firm expression as her eyes focus on the battle. I do the same, shifting my attention to the soldiers firing at Vortex. I don't know if anyone saw us, but even if they did, it doesn't matter at this moment.

One of our soldiers suddenly drops on the ground on his way toward our shelter, blood leaking in spurts from the wound in his neck and I notice another one on his abdomen. He's coughing blood and his body is shaking from shock, being in pain while he's dying slowly. Elena suddenly jumps out from the ditch, aiming her gun at the dying young soldier, shooting at his chest once and putting him out of his misery.

She quickly jumps back into the ditch, her expression not showing any emotion, but I guess mine is shocked. Not because I judge her, no, but because I wouldn't be strong enough to do that. This is war, she did what had to be done.

Liam, Jess, Tyler, Lia and a few other soldiers; whose faces I recognise, but can't remember their names; crouch in the ditch with us, slowly piling around me. I take a moment to glance at each of them, knowing very well what they see when they look at me. They see a leader.

Louis, Niall, and Tori are lined a bit further, shooting at the enemy. It was impossible to convince Niall to leave the battle and it was the first time I've seen him really angry in months. The fact he is willing to die for someone like he did for Elena and the fact he's staying with us with his arm injured says a lot about his character. He has a big heart.

"They're outnumbered," Elena says. "We shouldn't back down this time, it's time to show them our strength. They will give up eventually or they'll die trying to win."

My words get stuck in my throat because I've already said similar words in a similar situation two years ago, ruining everything. But maybe this time will be different, it has to. There's more of us, I'm not the same arrogant kid I was back then. I was listening only to myself, but now my soldiers have a chance to give their opinions on the matter.

"Alright," I manage to say, locking my eyes with Elena's, seeing her nod. "Alright," I repeat firmly, pressing the earpiece so the others can get the message. "Rely on your team members, find your target and shoot! Don't hold back, don't think, just act!" I yell, making sure everyone within the hearing range hears me.

The rain finally begins falling, slowly at first then faster and harder. Our vision is now decreased and dirt will soon turn into mud, making our job here even more difficult. I have no doubts in my men, though, they are trained to fight in any weather conditions. My uniform and hair get soaked quickly, my weapon slippery in my hands. My head peeks from our shelter, seeing lines of Vortex soldiers making their way to us, oblivious of our hiding spot. They're too busy with trying to demolish the remains of our supplies to make sure we can't use them to notice us, giving us the perfect opportunity to attack.

"Use grenades then shoot at the rest," I instruct. "On my sign." I lower my weapon and pull out two grenades from their sockets, one in each hand, waiting for the enemy to move a bit closer. When they're within our throwing range, I lift my hand to signal the soldiers near me and shout out the order for the soldiers waiting for my command through the earpiece. I stand to my full height at the same time I pull out the pins with the tips of my thumbs, throwing the grenades at the enemy. I jump back into the ditch as they explode.

All of my soldiers do the same thing as I did, explosions erupting all around the field, nearby and far away. There is no time to check the results, our bodies swiftly moving out in the open, hands clenched around the weapons, fingertips pressed against the trigger. My feet sink into the wet, muddy ground as I run, shooting at anyone wearing the brown uniform.

I begin releasing all the pent up anger I've been keeping locked for two years, finally getting some form of revenge. Terrifying images of my past flash before my eyes, but I don't succumb to my weakness. Instead, I run and I fight and I protect.

I have found my strength again, I'm a fighter, I'm a leader.

And in this moment, I'm Harry again.

. . . .

It's been a few hours since the last Vortex soldier either ran away or died. We did it. We have managed to protect most of our supplies, enough to keep us going for another month. I made sure to order those who weren't in the fight to take care of our fallen men so we can bury them properly first chance we get. It was a fairly short battle in comparison to the ones I had been a part of before, but equally destructive. Despite my sadness for all the lives lost, I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. It felt incredible to protect what's ours side to side with my friends, with my soldiers.

My lips pull in a smile as I stand under the cold stream of water in my shower, scrubbing all the dirt from my body, watching as the muddy water goes down the drain. I close my eyes to relish the feeling of finally being clean after a long and exhausting day, my head tipping back as water pours over my face.

I jolt in fear as I see my friend's dull and lifeless eyes before me, a gaping bullet wound in the middle of his chest. No, not now. I open my eyes, but am forced to close them again against my will.

My throat was burning from all the screaming and smoke in the air, fire cracking as one of the dilapidated vehicles we used to come here was melting from the scorching flames. My fingers were painfully clenched around a ring, its edges digging into my skin. I opened my palm and looked at the still shiny thing, my vision getting blurry, a letter carved on the ring becoming invisible.

I dropped down to my knees as the first tear fell then hundreds followed after. I managed to glance at the destruction I had caused, a few familiar pale faces belonging to my friends surrounding me, limp bodies lying on the ground.

The pain was suffocating and I screamed. I had lost them, I had lost my brother. I murdered them.

I manage to shut off the water with my shaky hand, my back meeting the cold, wet tiles as I slide down onto the shower floor, pulling my knees to my chest. I attempt to cry, but there's nothing. There's only that same numbing pain and guilt. I may have won today, but it doesn't compensate for my past failure. I'm weak once again, my strength evaporating.

And suddenly, Harry fades again. I'm only H.

. . . .

Claps and cheers roar all around me as I enter the mess hall, proud and happy faces looking at me. I'm shocked, frozen at the spot as I inspect the sight. I almost turn around to check if all this commotion is because of me or someone standing behind me.

I manage to plaster a fake smile on my face as I receive pats on the back and shoulders, my feet taking me toward my table. My friend's elated expressions greet me, a glass filled with drink being placed in front of me. I'm their hero.

"Come on, let's have a toast!" Louis happily exclaims. "For H!" He lifts the glass and everyone else does the same.

"For all of us," I say loudly, lifting my glass. "For each brave soul that died today, for every survivor."

Silence spreads all around me as I bring the rim of the glass to my lips, pouring all of its content into my mouth. Everyone follows my example and loud cheers erupt around the room once again.

Soon, everyone sits down and begins to eat their dinner as chatter echoes throughout the room, positive energy present in the air. However, I can't bring myself to be in the same cheery mood, not after yet another flashback I had to endure.

"You okay?" Elena mouths to me. I nod, but she narrows her eyes. "Boxing," she whispers and I nod again.

How does she know something is wrong?

"Ni, how's your arm?" I ask Niall who's sitting beside me.

He looks up from his meal, blue eyes meeting mine. "M'gwheat," he mumbles with his mouth full of food, making me roll my eyes. He chews quickly and gulps. "I said I'm great. One pretty nurse gave me some pain medication, so it doesn't hurt as much."

"I'm really glad you're okay," I admit, remembering how terrifying it felt to see him on the ground. "Shouldn't you be resting, though?"

"Aww, I love you too, H," he tells me, wrapping his uninjured arm around my shoulders to give me a side hug. "And no way, I'm not planning to lie in bed all day just because of some minor injury."

"I can't believe I missed the whole damn thing, listen up here, I had to train the kids which wouldn't be so bad if this one kid didn't throw up all over me because he ate too much, the other fell and scraped his knees, the third almost killed herself while doing basic exercises, and that Tommy kid kept throwing random objects as if he's throwing knives," Alex rants. "Now tell me who's the real hero."

We all laugh, my mood slightly lifting instantly. For the rest of the dinner, I don't think about the fight, I only focus on my friends.

. . . .

I absentmindedly fiddle with a certain ring on my right hand as I sit on the mat in my training room, glancing at the other rings on my left hand. It only makes me sad when I look at it, but it's the only thing I have left of him.

Elena smiles the moment she steps inside my training room and I quickly stand up, walking toward her. I hear her inhale in surprise as my arms wind around her body, pulling her close to me. It takes her less than a second to wrap her arms around my shoulders, one of her hands rubbing circles on my back as the other one presses to the back of my head soothingly. Just what I needed.

"I knew something was off," she says quietly. "It has something to do with the battle today, right? Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head, burying my face into the crook of her neck, loving how warm and soft she is. I love how she's always there when I need her and I love how she always knows what to say or do.

"How do you do it?" I ask quietly. "When you shot that dying soldier today. . . how did you do it?"

"I did what I thought was the right thing," she replies, leaning her chin on my shoulder. "I've witnessed someone dying like that before and I was unable to do anything to help them, just watch them die. I couldn't do that once again."

I don't say anything, realising I know nothing about Elena or her past. I know only what she's decided to show me, which is basically nothing. We both have things we're keeping from each other and it's starting to become a problem. The one I'm not in the mood to solve right now, but soon, for sure.

When I try to pull away, Elena grunts in protest, her arms keeping me still. "Noo, you're like a human pillow."

"Explains why you were sleeping on my lap that day," I tease.

"Oh yeah," she says. "I bet you had fun taking care of the little problem you had."

"Little? More like huge, honey," I say, pulling my head back so I can look at her, my lips forming a smirk.

"Okay baby boy, I'm gonna need some proof so. . ." she says jokingly and glances down, making me laugh loudly.

"I'm proud of you, you know," Elena says. "You've defeated your fear and did what's right today."

"I may have done it today, but I won't be able to do it every time," I answer honestly. "I did it thanks to you, though."

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion. "But I wasn't there."

"I remembered you and your words," I say, making her smile. My lips connect with hers in a slow kiss, my palms gripping her waist as I pull her closer to me. Our noses brush against each other, her hands coming up to grip my collar while her mouth begins working more fervently with mine.

"Sweet baby Jesus!" Tori exclaims suddenly. Elena and I break away immediately, turning our heads toward the door, seeing Tori standing there, with Louis peering inside the room.

Oh shit, this is bad.

It's silent for a few moments before Louis says, "I totally called it."

"I called it first," Tori retorts.

"Not true, remember when she went all loco and threw that knife at him, I knew this would happen," Louis replies.

"They've grown so much since." Tori smiles, looking at us fondly as if we're her children.

"It's, uh-- it's not what it looks like?" I say, my statement sounding more like a question. Nice save, wow.

"Yeah he was showing me some battle skills," Elena says flatly while giving me a look, "with his mouth."

"One word to anyone and you'll regret it for the rest of your lives," I warn the duo still gloating they've discovered us. I could get in serious trouble, besides, what would people say if they knew I've got close to the girl that was on the enemy side once? No, this has to stay a secret, I don't need more problems.

Tori places her hand on her chest and leans back slightly as her eyes widen. "Damn, okay. We wanted to check if you're feeling okay, but I see El has taken care of it."

Louis and Tori then lift their hands in surrender and slowly back away, their fast footsteps heard in the hallway as they run away. A few seconds later Louis runs back and gives us the thumbs up while grinning, closing the door behind him.

a/n: I sometimes struggle with writing them actions scenes, so sorry if they felt rushed. Btw thank you for all the support with this book, it means a lot x