Harry
"Of course Ethan is gone when we need him the most," I mutter angrily, impatiently walking back and forth in front of his office. His nurses are already taking care of Louis and Tori, while the others wait for their turns. Surprisingly, I'm not hurt, but I want to make sure everyone is taken care of.
"Why me, God? Why?" Alex whines. "You know I hate blood, we had a deal! Other people bleed, not me."
"That looks like a paper cut," Elena tells him flatly, looking at a tiny cut on his palm. That's literally the only wound he has, plus a bruise on his jaw.
"And it's bleeding," he retorts, glancing down at it in disgust. "Ew."
"It'll heal, just don't look at it and think about bunnies, remember how you always did that when we were kids?" Elena tells him, smiling gently at him.
"It's easy for you to say, you're used to blood," Alex says. "Remember when you got your first period and it was all over--"
Elena gasps loudly, throwing herself at him and Alex stumbles backwards until his back hits the wall, Elena's hands clamping his mouth shut. "Do not speak of that day ever again. Never ever."
I let out a laugh, my shoulders shaking. I really like this girl.
Oh shit, I really like her. I've already admitted it that night we'd spent in my training room, but I never actually said the exact same words, not to her, not to anyone. I don't want to because when I feel something, I feel it strongly; whether it be happiness, sadness, fear or any other emotion, and it makes me vulnerable. I don't trust her with my feelings, not yet.
Alex pushes her away. "Okay okay! Calm down, I'm injured." He looks at his ant sized cut.
Jess takes out a crumpled flower from her pocket, handing it to him. "Here, to distract you."
Alex smiles and looks down at her, taking the flower in his hand. Great, another couple in the making. I don't have anything against it, as the matter of fact I think we lack love in these difficult times, there's either no time or people have simply become insensitive. War does that to people.
"How have you survived for this long?" I can't help but ask him, a genuine confusion in my voice.
"I've got skills, mate," he replies smugly. "But it's luck ninety percent of the time, especially since Lenny likes getting in potentially lethal situations."
"Says the guy who was ready to jump off a cliff because a rodent was hiding in the bushes," Elena says.
"It could've been a wolf or a bear or some other toothy fucker," Alex retorts quietly, a pout forming on his face.
"That was really brave," I say to Elena, gaining her attention. "Taking a risk to convince those people we're telling the truth. Also, thank you for saving my life, my lady."
She smiles widely. "You're welcome, Charming. Sometimes the prince needs saving, too."
My lips pull in a smile as well, but it quickly falters when I notice her wince. "You're hurt," I say, noticing a small cut sliced on her neck, but the cause of her pain is something else. Since I can't see any wound on her front, I circle around her, catching a patch of blood below the nape of her neck, her uniform ripped from a knife blade.
My fingers wrap around her wrist and I pull her with me, walking in one of the infirmary rooms, silently pointing to one of the beds lined in it. "Really, H, I can wait--"
"Lord, give me strength," I mutter, looking up at the ceiling. "Sit down on that bed and shut up, I can handle it."
She purses her lips but ends up obeying me. Well, that's a first. Luckily, I know my way around here and I quickly pile the supplies needed for cleaning the cuts beside her, even putting on a pair of latex gloves so I can properly take care of the cut. "Call me Doctor Styles," I comment amusedly as Elena laughs.
"Well, Doctor Styles, what should I do?" She plays along, tilting her head aside.
"Uh, take off your jacket. . . and shirt," I say, gulping. I feel like a fifteen-year-old teenager, what the fuck.
Her hand slowly unzips her jacket and she shrugs it off, a small hiss leaving her mouth. Her fingers then grab the hems of her shirt, gingerly pulling it off her body, slowly revealing her smooth skin; starting with her navel, her breasts covered with a black bra and collarbones, until everything is on display.
Take deep breaths, H, deep breaths. In and out.
I gulp once again, tearing my eyes off the exposed skin. "I, uh-- the wound is on your back so. . ." I clear my throat. "Well, yeah, so that's-- that's where I'll stand. Behind you. Where your wound is."
Oh my God. Stop talking. Be a man for fuck's sake.
A smile curves her lips and she mumbles something along the lines "so cute", but I'm not sure.
And now I'm blushing. God, no, stop it. I quickly stand behind her to hide how nervous I am. I don't understand it, she's the one with her shirt off, not me.
My shyness disappears the moment I take a look at her back. My eyes widen, my lips parting, but not because of her wound. It seems minuscule compared to the scars littered over the surface of her back. Long lines of raised skin definitely appear to be the result of whip strikes, not battle wounds. It seems they're not recent, but still an incredibly sad sight.
I can't help myself but gently graze my fingertips over the damaged skin, causing Elena to arch her back, goosebumps scattering over her skin. "I'm sorry," I say quietly and I don't know if I'm apologising for touching her or I'm sorry this happened to her.
"It's okay," she almost whispers. "How bad is it?"
I move my eyes to the bleeding cut. It's not too long and it appears it's not very deep, so it doesn't need any stitches. "It looks fairly good, it only needs to be cleaned and you'll be fine." She nods and I silently begin working on her wound, not forgetting the small cut on her neck.
Just like the last time, she doesn't even wince, but now I understand why. Someone who had to endure something horrific as whipping surely barely feels something as cleaning a little cut. I count exactly ten marks creating a maze on her skin. No wonder they left that horrid base.
When I hear her intake a sharp breath, I flinch, realising I've been absentmindedly dragging my finger along one of the lines. "Shit, I'm sorry," I quickly say. "The wound is taken care of." I take off the gloves, throwing them aside.
"Thank you, H." Elena gives me a look over her shoulder and what I see in her eyes surprises me. It's vulnerability. "It doesn't hurt as much when it's for the right cause."
"Well, what's a tiger without some stripes, right?" I attempt to lighten the mood, watching as a small smile forms on her lips.
Her hand reaches for her shirt, but before she can put it on, I lean forward, placing one of my palms over her upper arm, her body tensing. My head bends low, my lips leaving a delicate kiss on the blade of her shoulder as if it will erase some of the pain she must have felt. The thought is infuriating.
I notice how her breathing picks up, but I'm sure it's for a different reason this time, because of the effect I have on her. Before I can stop myself, I gently place my palms on her exposed waist, gently pulling her closer to my chest. She doesn't protest or makes a move to reject my touch, making me smile and encouraging me to continue with my actions. I brush my lips against the nape of her neck, wetting them with my tongue and leaving a sloppy kiss on it. The next kiss is placed on her left shoulder blade and I slowly and gently make a trail of open mouthed kisses from one shoulder to another, her body relaxing with every contact of my lips with her heated skin. My thumbs draw invisible circles on the soft skin of her waist while I keep leaving kisses over her back, my eyelids lowered to the half.
I realise my pulse is pounding wildly in my veins, my breathing pattern matching hers. What started off as an innocent gesture suddenly turned into something much more intense. Elena leans back, her back pressing against my chest, her head resting on my shoulder. She tilts her chin upward slightly so our eyes can meet, her intense gaze making me feel as if she can see right through me.
I lower my head so my lips are barely touching hers, waiting for her to make a move. And she does, her lips connecting and fitting with mine, one of her hands rising toward my neck, her palm sliding over my nape, fingers tangling into my hair. My arms encircle her stomach, pressing her body even closer to mine, feeling its heat through the fabric I'm wearing.
In this moment, I can't remember why hadn't I done anything like this before. Because I'm loving it, every single moment. Our lips are gliding against each other in a sensual and slow kiss, sending sparks through my body. Despite my obvious excitement, this feels enough. Just kissing and her proximity feel more than enough, and I don't know how to describe this feeling. It's almost overwhelming.
"H?" Niall's muffled voice comes from the hallway. "Elena? You two in there?"
Niall, you cockblock.
We halt our actions, Elena quickly jumping from the bed, putting on her shirt in the speed of lightning. Her jacket comes on next, our eyes briefly meeting, smiles on our faces. Things have definitely started to change between us, something is going on and I know both of us are aware.
"Boxing. Tonight," I say quietly and she nods.
"No, we're not, so leave!" I reply to Niall, rolling my eyes. I subtly glance down at my sweatpants, thankful the shirt I'm wearing is long enough to cover anything that might be sticking out.
"Hi, babe," Niall greets Elena as he enters, his tone completely friendly. "You know I love you, no need to be jealous," he tells me, his light blue eyes shifting on me.
"What is it?" I ask him, approaching him as Elena does the same, uncertainty whether to stay or leave displayed on her features.
"I heard what happened and I wanted to make sure you guys are okay," he says. "I didn't interrupt anything, did I?" His eyes suspiciously flick back and forth between us.
Yes, you did.
"Of course you didn't," I say harsher than I intended. "Don't imply anything, is that clear? I was tending to her wounds just like I would do for any of you." He nods, looking uncomfortable like every time I lash out on him.
"Oh-kay, I feel some tension around here," Niall says. "Do you know what you need, H?" He smirks.
"Niall, don't do it--"
He raises his arms, making some sunrise type of gesture. "Positive energy! Embrace it." I expect him to hug me, but he doesn't, clearly learning from his past attempts when I'd reacted rather coldly to the gesture.
He's using my thing against me, I used to do that all the time to cheer people up when I was younger. Fucking Niall and his friendship skills.
I sigh loudly and raise my eyebrow as Elena imitates him, making him laugh. She then laughs along and I don't know how to react to all this. It's not a secret Niall's laughter is ridiculous and so is hers, but their laughter combined. . . oh my God.
"Okay you're patched up and you're. . . well you're Niall, so anyway, my presence is no longer required," I say, putting on my careless facade. "After you're done with your little chit chat, go back to your duties." With that, I leave the room.
. . . .
"Son, you need to calm down--"
"That's the worst thing you can say to someone who's pissed off," I snap, looking at David's blue eyes.
He sighs deeply. "I need a smoke." He opens his desk drawer and pulls out a cigar, lighting its tip in one swift movement, placing it into his mouth and taking a long drag. "Ah, yes, much better," he says, the smoke coming out.
"All good?" I ask quietly. "You sure?" He nods. "Okay." I take a deep breath. "What kind of a fucking leader are you?" I suddenly raise my voice. "There are soldiers coming to our territory, kidnapping small children and turning our people against us, and you're here chilling in your god damn ugly leather chair as if we're not in war!"
"I'm someone who has been leading this base for over twenty years, son," he starts, his tone serious. "I gave it my all, I sacrificed my marriage for it, I sacrificed being a good father to you, I failed at so many things. I'm tired, so tired of all this."
A small pang of hurt hits me and I gulp, casting my eyes down. "I've been a shit son anyway." He shakes his head in disagreement, but I continue, "but it's crucial you understand we need to fight back, we need to find allies, we need to order more weapons."
"Then do it," David says. "Do it all, you have my full permission. You're a true leader, you just don't want the label. But I have faith in you, everyone does, son, you can do this. It's time you accept you will take my place once. I've tried to talk to Ace more than once and failed, but maybe he would listen to you."
"That would require I leave the base and--"
"You did that earlier today, right? I'll send Elena with you, she talked to him and helped us the last time, I'm sure you two would manage to strike a hell of a deal."
"What makes you think I'm the right person for the job?" I ask quietly, not believing him. I'm a failure, how can't he see it? "I ruined everything the last time." My voice cracks slightly.
I see a flicker of hurt and sadness on his features and he chucks the cigar in the ashtray, quickly walking toward me. "You're not the only one hurting, it pains me, too, every single day. But you need to understand it wasn't your--"
"Stop!" I yell, stepping away. "Don't repeat that fucking lie to me again! It was me! I did that, I ruined everything, I killed him!"
Before he can say anything else, I storm out of his office, feeling pure rage mixed with sadness pulsate through me. I'm suddenly running, but the hallway turns into a battlefield, the chilly evening turns into a heated day and the sounds of soldiers talking and laughing turn into gunfire, various images flashing before my eyes.
"Harry, it's not safe, we should head back," Thomas told me, adjusting the strap of his rifle as his dark eyes glanced over the open field. It was the first time I noticed how much his son resembles him.
"We won't retreat from our god damn territory, is that clear? I won't allow anyone to coward back, this is our land and we need to show our enemies we're not afraid of them," I said firmly, looking back at my troops. I was their leader, I had to show my strength, my authority. I'd been watching my father do the same thing for years.
"Oooh, look who's being all badass," my brother said quietly to me, placing his palm over his chest dramatically. "I almost got chills, mate, wow."
I smiled slightly and looked at him warily because, despite his cheerful tone, there had been some kind of sadness behind his words and actions all day, as if something bad was going to happen.
I'm punching the bag in my training room, draining my strength little by little, forcing my eyes to stay open. When they're closed, I can't see reality and my mind begins with its torture. It's like I lose control over my body whenever I think about my past, I can only relive it again and again without being able to shut it out. It's my curse, my punishment.
It's been hours since my talk with David, I can't remember what was I doing half of the time or how did I even get here, but I'm almost certain I haven't stopped training since I came. All of this is the result of me leaving the base, I shouldn't have done it, I'm still too weak. My shirt sticks to my body, damp hair covering my sweaty face, breaths coming in and out in short and quick puffs.
"H?" Elena softly says, my punches stopping instantly. I expect her to ask if I'm okay even though it's obvious I'm far from it, but she doesn't, she stays silent. I don't want to turn around, I don't want her to see me vulnerable again. I probably look wild and dangerous like this, with blood on my knuckles, heaving chest and head bowed.
But she slowly circles me and stands in front of me, hazel eyes darker in the minimal lighting. I'm so glad I can look into her eyes, there's something soothing about them, about the gentle look in them. She approaches me and I stand still, suddenly tensing, my heartbeat racing.
I never know what to expect with Elena, everything she does is unpredictable and surprising, but in a good way. My breathing suddenly stops when her body presses against mine, her arms wrapping around my torso. She stays silent, just holding me, while air flows into my lungs in such a relieving way, as if I was carrying an enormous burden and now it's gone.
She doesn't care I'm sweaty, she doesn't care I'm not talking, she doesn't care about my pathetic behaviour. She's simply hugging me and everything is somehow easier. I finally lift my arms, winding them around her, pressing our bodies tighter together. I get the urge to cry and scream, but I push it away like I do every time it appears, bottling my most destructive emotions.
We stand embraced in silence until my heart begins beating as normal as it can in a situation where she's touching me, until my past leaves me alone even though it won't last, until there's only peace.
. . . .
"You don't have to talk about it, you don't have to talk at all," Elena says. "Just know that I will always be here to listen whenever you're ready. I won't talk, I'll listen."
"How are you so good with all this?" I ask, looking at her beside me, sitting on our makeshift "mat bed" with towels as our pillows. I went to take a shower after our intimate moment and was relieved to see her still waiting for me.
"Experience," she says, smiling. "I had someone who helped me a lot while I was going through some difficult times and I want to be that person for you."
"Why?" I ask, lowering my head slightly. "Why would you want to do all that for me?" I know what I want to hear and I know what's behind her actions, I just need her do admit it.
"Because. . . because you need help," she says reluctantly.
"Is that all?"
"And because I care," she mumbles quickly.
"Oh?" I ask, happy and relieved to hear it.
"And why do you care if I care?" She challenges, lifting her brow.
"And why do you care if I care that you care?" I retaliate.
"And why-- wait, what?"
I only smile, quickly connecting our lips. My smile immediately disappears when a strong feeling takes over me, my palms gently pressing to her soft cheeks. We kiss slowly, savouring each moment.
She suddenly pulls away, a frown on her face. "Don't do that. Not if you'll just leave and shut me out. I don't let people play with my feelings, H."
"Oh, uh, I wouldn't do that, I'm sorry if that's the impression you've got," I say honestly, remembering that's exactly what I did every time we kissed. "It's just. . .I haven't-- I mean, I've never really-- you know when two people get close to each other--" I pause, embarrassed. "Imagine two flowers on a field."
"H," Elena says, starting to laugh. She opens her mouth to speak but then clutches her stomach, flailing her hand while her cheeks flush red. "Oh God." She lets out a few more chuckles. "You can get back to me on that. I think I get it, though."
A breath of relief leaves my mouth, an amused smile spreading over my lips. "I promise you we'll talk about this, but right now your lips are very, very distracting."
"Always so charming." She smiles, bringing her lips to mine.
a/n: drama is coming, js